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| | Dusty Cellar The cellar holds unfinished confections of storytelling, giving readers a glimpse into creative ideas that may one day be dusted off. | |
12-18-2006, 11:44 PM
| | |  Love is Just a Four-Letter Word for a Death Eater - Sa13+
Hello there, and welcome to LiJaF-LWfaDE [the abbreviation is almost as long as the title itself], my third Fan Fiction on SnitchSeeker. Constructive criticism is appreciated, but please don’t flame me. Also, if you have a problem with one of my readers, please PM them about it. Don’t yell at them on my thread.
I like to have a really friendly thread, so chatting about the fic is okay, but I don’t want spam. :] This became a problem in my last FF, so I'm I'm implementing a rule I'd like y'all to please be super kind and follow. Feel absolutely free to leave a comment after I post, but if you have anything extra you'd like to add, please edit your post, PM me, or leave me a UN. I don't want the mods to have to come and clean out my FF thread again.
Most of all - please have fun! I love writing for active readers who leave me great things to reply to. You're my inspiration to write, so be my guest and get a little goofy!
Normally, I leave a summary of the story ... but I figured that the title explains itself pretty well. So without further ado ... Love is Just a Four-Letter Word for a Death Eater.
To some people, love is something taken for granted. It is pushed aside when it becomes inconvenient, yet, when desired, people expect to receive it, no questions asked. After all, love is supposed to be unconditional. But to people like me … love is a hindrance. It is not needed, it is not accepted, and it is not wanted. For a Death Eater, love is just a four-letter word.
“Did you see his face?” Malfoy sneers as we walk into our Common Room. “I thought the kid was going to puke all over himself!”
I watch him as he imitates the boy, puffing out his cheeks and crossing his eyes. I can’t help but to laugh stupidly. It’s my job.
“I’m bored,” Crabbe sighs just moments after Draco stops his game of charades. Draco looks at him angrily. He doesn’t like it when it is basically implied that he is boring. I don’t say anything. Sometimes I think Malfoy is more stupid than Crabbe.
“What’re you looking at?” Malfoy glares at me, looking for somewhere to vent his newfound anger.
“Nothing,” I hastily reply. “I think I’ll go to bed, now. I don’t feel well.”
Malfoy laughs, and Crabbe joins in, though I’m sure he doesn’t understand what is funny. I look at the two and finally ask, “What?”
“We know what you’re up to,” Malfoy says first. Crabbe doesn’t talk much.
“What?” I ask again, more innocently this time.
Draco shakes his head. “You’re pathetic. You’re writing to her again, aren’t you?”
“Who?” I question, wishing that my appearance of stupidity would finally be convincing when I need it.
“That girl – the one we met – well, you know when. On our way to work. What’s her name? Janie? What a boring name.”
I don’t say anything. He already knows what‘s going through my head; I’m sure of it.
“You need to move on, Goyle. It’s not good for business to be tied down at such an early age. She wouldn’t understand you and the things that you do.”
I nod my head, agreeing. He’s probably right, but I don’t like to think of it. I manage to get away though, and I sit down to write a note anyway. Dear Janie,
I got your last letter. Draco doesn’t like you sending them. You know how he is. I hope I can see you soon. Meet me in the Entrance Hall tomorrow at our usual time. Write me back quickly, okay?
- Goyle
P.S. I don’t know if I’ve ever told you, but I really like your first name.
Originally, I had written ‘Love, Goyle,’ at the end, but if it was intercepted, I’d be in trouble. No love is allowed. Like Draco says – it’s bad for business. | |
01-04-2007, 09:46 PM
|
#101 (permalink)
| | Forest Troll
Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: oh, canada...
Posts: 27,667
Hogwarts RPG Name:
Blake Rouyn
Second Year | you live your life just once, so don't forget about a thing called love.
Awww...thats cute. I wonder what it is.....good post.
And 350z's rock!! I love the way they were designed. MINE! 
__________________
Guess who just got back today. Them wild-eyed boys that had been away.
Haven't changed that much to say. But man, I still think them cats are crazy.
They were askin' if you were around. How you was, where you could be found....
Tailz is back in town, Tailz is back in town. =) | 
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01-04-2007, 10:56 PM
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#102 (permalink)
|  Admires Ginny's Sanity DA Galleon KeeperSS Featured AuthorSnidget
Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Limerick =)
Posts: 2,554
Hogwarts RPG Name:
Mione Borthwick
Sixth Year |
Amazing as always! PAMS  | |
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01-05-2007, 08:52 AM
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#103 (permalink)
|  Potterdom Mod
Charing Cross Rd. Mod
WWW Mod    Wrackspurt
Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: Gaia BH1
Posts: 217,233
Hogwarts RPG Name:
Sarika Aarohi Curious
Graduated
Hogwarts RPG Name:
Shimron Bacari Goth
Graduated
Hogwarts RPG Name:
Viano Valentino Thanatos-Misra
Gryffindor Seventh Year
Hogwarts RPG Name:
Levi Nayan Singh-Phora
Hufflepuff Fourth Year
Hogwarts RPG Name:
Harvey Thunder Forsfelle
Ravenclaw Third Year
  x12  x12
| ~ Mrs. Steve Harrington ~ Claimed by Bits ❤️ ~ Queen of Typos ❄ Magical Mosh Pit ❄
aww... he got her a present...thats so sweet! PAMS!
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01-06-2007, 01:35 AM
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#104 (permalink)
| | Blast-Ended Skrewt
Join Date: Apr 2006
Posts: 15,691
|
awwww!! YOU LIAR!!! you don't lie to Janie!! BAD BAD BAD GOYLE!!!!!!!!!!! *pokes him into oblivion*
love ya Cat  
~Dog
__________________
I love you, Niky.
I love you, I love you, I love you. I could say it so many times, it wouldn't be enough. I love you. | |
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01-06-2007, 07:47 AM
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#105 (permalink)
|  All my voices
Think you're snazzySirius gives me 'the look'Porlock
Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: California
Posts: 8,162
First Year |
Wow I can't believe I never took the time to read this...
its soo amazing, and I love that it's from his point of view!
I was so sad when he killed that little boy...I'd never be able to kill someone, especially if they looked like someone I knew..
It was sweet of him to get her a present though! Janie's gonna die if she finds out what he's been doing...and that he's a murderer!
PAMS
-Jessica
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01-06-2007, 04:42 PM
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#106 (permalink)
| | Fwooper
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 21,641
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new reader! i love it and cant wait 4 more!! PAMS PAMSOiD!
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01-06-2007, 11:11 PM
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#107 (permalink)
| Formerly: Asrai  Mooncalf
Join Date: Mar 2006
Posts: 7,835
Hogwarts RPG Name:
Roma Galda
Sixth Year | Bassoons galore!
Hey everyone! Just wanted to say 'hi' to all of the new and old readers, and let you know that I'm writing! 
__________________ Zoe loves Caitlin the MOST! *glomps*  Jess loves and misses Cait more than youuuu!! <33 | |
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01-07-2007, 02:13 AM
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#108 (permalink)
|  Bonnie Devotee
Keeper of Ginny's Red HairDoxy
Join Date: Jan 2006
Posts: 6,406
Hogwarts RPG Name:
Amparo Montez
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PAMSS!
This is greatttt!
Post soon!
__________________ Bonnie rocks ° have fun in the BWFC* and the GWFC* Bonnie or Wright ? Ginny or Weasley? Just dare. | |
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01-07-2007, 02:55 AM
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#109 (permalink)
| Vair StalkerishMissing Sirius Mooncalf
Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: In a mental ward wit
Posts: 7,987
Hogwarts RPG Name:
Emma McKingley
Graduated |
Great post Caitlin!
A present.... I wonder what it is 
PAMS!
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01-08-2007, 11:58 AM
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#110 (permalink)
| Formerly: Asrai Mooncalf
Join Date: Mar 2006
Posts: 7,835
Hogwarts RPG Name:
Roma Galda
Sixth Year | Bassoons galore!
Just stopping by to let y'all know that when I get online tonight to I'll also be posting!
__________________ Zoe loves Caitlin the MOST! *glomps* Jess loves and misses Cait more than youuuu!! <33 | |
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01-08-2007, 08:37 PM
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#111 (permalink)
| | Mackled Malaclaw
Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Maryland
Posts: 11,247
| Book Club Babe
aww, that was sweet, though i still hate him . . . it was sweet.
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01-09-2007, 01:46 AM
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#112 (permalink)
| Formerly: Asrai Mooncalf
Join Date: Mar 2006
Posts: 7,835
Hogwarts RPG Name:
Roma Galda
Sixth Year | Bassoons galore!
Ahh I'm getting kicked off! I'm gonna write tomorrow, during boring Algebra II though, so I'll race home to type it up before the game. 
__________________ Zoe loves Caitlin the MOST! *glomps* Jess loves and misses Cait more than youuuu!! <33 | |
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01-11-2007, 12:19 AM
|
#113 (permalink)
| Formerly: Asrai Mooncalf
Join Date: Mar 2006
Posts: 7,835
Hogwarts RPG Name:
Roma Galda
Sixth Year | Bassoons galore!
I suck, I get it. 
Double post tonight, to make up for it.
__________________ Zoe loves Caitlin the MOST! *glomps* Jess loves and misses Cait more than youuuu!! <33 | |
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01-11-2007, 12:33 AM
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#114 (permalink)
| | Puffskein
Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Canada
Posts: 2,438
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Yay! Double post! (haven't checked for updates... -feels horrible cause I forgot and its my fav f.f so far-)
__________________ 
Siggy from Lissy and Anna's Shop of Super Frazzling Graphics | |
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01-11-2007, 01:10 AM
|
#115 (permalink)
| Formerly: Asrai Mooncalf
Join Date: Mar 2006
Posts: 7,835
Hogwarts RPG Name:
Roma Galda
Sixth Year | Bassoons galore!
Well I'm glad it's your fav. I was sort of afraid that it wasn't going so well. Y'all, give me some constructive criticism - what could make this FF better?
Writing!
__________________ Zoe loves Caitlin the MOST! *glomps* Jess loves and misses Cait more than youuuu!! <33 | |
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01-11-2007, 02:59 AM
|
#116 (permalink)
| Formerly: Asrai Mooncalf
Join Date: Mar 2006
Posts: 7,835
Hogwarts RPG Name:
Roma Galda
Sixth Year | Bassoons galore!
I sit in the Room of Requirements, waiting for Janie to arrive. She’s a little late, but it doesn’t surprise me in the least - that’s just Janie’s style. I still check my watch every couple of minutes anyway, hoping she’ll come soon.
Finally, the door swings open and her beautiful face meets mine. I go and wrap her in a big bear hug and she giggles.
When I let go she closes her eyes and holds out her hands. “All right, surprise me!”
I laugh and lean in and kiss her. It’s really nice, and her hands wrap around me once more. We stop, and I reach into my bag, pulling out the wrapped present once more.
“Don’t laugh at me,” I say awkwardly as she fingers the ribbons thoughtfully.
She nods and slips off the bow. She fumbles with the box lid some, but when she gets it open at last, I see her face light up. Inside is a thin silver chain with a quarter of a karat diamond sitting on it.
Her eyes meet mine, and then she looks back down at the necklace, and then back at me, and before I know what she’s doing, she’s tackling me. We fall over and land on the couch, and she’s laughing and hugging me.
“It’s ... gorgeous! Greg ... where did you get it from?”
“I told you,” I smiled. “We got it today ... and where ... it’s a secret.”
“You’re amazing,” she whispers. “You really are.”
....
“He knows.”
“What do you mean, he knows?” I ask, panicked.
“I mean he contacted me today, and he wants to know about her,” Malfoy answers back. Worry is etched all into his face, which astonishes me. But I know he’s not worried for her - he’s worried for me. “Voldemort knows about Janie, and he wants her gone. Your way - or mine.”
I shudder, because neither would have a good ending.
__________________ Zoe loves Caitlin the MOST! *glomps* Jess loves and misses Cait more than youuuu!! <33 | |
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01-11-2007, 04:39 AM
|
#117 (permalink)
| All my voices
Think you're snazzySirius gives me 'the look' Porlock
Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: California
Posts: 8,162
First Year |
OOhhh, I wanna know where he got the necklace...stupid secrets 
WHO TOLD VOLDIE??
And what's gonna happen to Janie? 
PAMS!!
Last edited by gumdrop480; 01-11-2007 at 05:39 AM.
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01-11-2007, 04:42 AM
|
#118 (permalink)
| | Knarl
Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Dharmaville™
Posts: 9,334
Hogwarts RPG Name:
Jack Fletcher
Fourth Year | Dumbledore's Licorice Snaps Chipotle!
*gasp* OMG!!! HE KNOWSS!!!!!!!!!!PAMS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
__________________ Have at thee!
But who's that ghost who keeps walking by my door?
Tell me, how long could you hang on to a word?
Who do you carry the torch for, my young man? | |
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01-11-2007, 05:35 AM
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#119 (permalink)
| | Puffskein
Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Canada
Posts: 2,438
|
 MALFOY TOLD VOLDIE! HOW DARE HE!
If not Malfoy (which I stil cannot believe I said! -washes out mouth with soap-)...
WHO WOULD TELL VOLDIE?!  Don't die, Janie!
PAMS!
__________________
Siggy from Lissy and Anna's Shop of Super Frazzling Graphics | |
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01-11-2007, 06:14 AM
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#120 (permalink)
| | Ramora
Join Date: May 2006 Location: Avvie by... Well, ac
Posts: 5,366
Hogwarts RPG Name:
Lia Taylor
| Draco's Director Dramione=OTP
OMG!!!
What happens??
I hope you post again soon! | |
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01-11-2007, 08:46 AM
|
#121 (permalink)
| Potterdom Mod
Charing Cross Rd. Mod
WWW Mod Wrackspurt
Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: Gaia BH1
Posts: 217,233
Hogwarts RPG Name:
Sarika Aarohi Curious
Graduated
Hogwarts RPG Name:
Shimron Bacari Goth
Graduated
Hogwarts RPG Name:
Viano Valentino Thanatos-Misra
Gryffindor Seventh Year
Hogwarts RPG Name:
Levi Nayan Singh-Phora
Hufflepuff Fourth Year
Hogwarts RPG Name:
Harvey Thunder Forsfelle
Ravenclaw Third Year
x12 x12
| ~ Mrs. Steve Harrington ~ Claimed by Bits ❤️ ~ Queen of Typos ❄ Magical Mosh Pit ❄
OMG! Voldemort knows??? how did he know??? What will happen???
PAMS!!!
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01-11-2007, 05:09 PM
|
#122 (permalink)
| DA Secret Keeper
RWFC B'day Blast officer
SS100 Triumphant Snidget
Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Thanks so much Mich for the Avvie and the Siggy!! You Rock my Socks!!
Posts: 2,545
Hogwarts RPG Name:
Athena Evans (A twin)
Third |
Oh no, this can't end well for anyone involved. And I don't know why Voldy has to be such a meany  Other death eaters are married! Maybe it is becuase Janie is good, unlike the rest of them 
Awesome Post!
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01-11-2007, 07:26 PM
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#123 (permalink)
| | Shrake
Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: (EST)
Posts: 12,975
Hogwarts RPG Name:
Jacoby Rivers
Hufflepuff Sixth Year
Hogwarts RPG Name:
Callista Rivers
Gryffindor Second Year | Stealthy Ninja Queen | Snake For Life | waddling baker | binge royalty ♚
Hey I missed reading this i got behind and it upset me but now i'm back and better than ever and really happy i've been reading it so you know i love it still thought i would let you know.
-sarah
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01-12-2007, 12:44 AM
|
#124 (permalink)
| Formerly: Asrai Mooncalf
Join Date: Mar 2006
Posts: 7,835
Hogwarts RPG Name:
Roma Galda
Sixth Year | Bassoons galore!
Aww you guys are amazing.  And thank you for not shouting at me for not double posting, and that one being short. Now that I'm back in school, I have like no time ... for anything. -_-' It's okay if y'all hate me.
Just so y'all know, I'm still looking for some constructive criticism ... anyone have any?
__________________ Zoe loves Caitlin the MOST! *glomps* Jess loves and misses Cait more than youuuu!! <33 | |
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01-12-2007, 12:50 AM
|
#125 (permalink)
| | Mackled Malaclaw
Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Maryland
Posts: 11,247
| Book Club Babe
ooo, going to kiss, I'm sorry, that should say kill her? Wow, ok.
You want critism? Here goes. You jump to much. There should have been a trasitition from when Goyle was with his girl and when he talks to Malfoy.
I personally think that Quote:
Her eyes meet mine, and then she looks back down at the necklace, and then back at me, and before I know what she’s doing, she’s tackling me. We fall over and land on the couch, and she’s laughing and hugging me.
That could have been combined with semi-colons; how I am doing now is an example.
That's all I can think of.
Sorry, if that's not what you wanted, but I really do think this story is great. PAMS!
Jessica
Last edited by dancerbookl; 01-14-2007 at 03:32 AM.
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The most wonderful thing about Tiggers, is Tiggers are wonderful things. 
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