Wow, it was kind of Gang Up On Sabel Day, wasn't it? Maybe it was because the Gryffindor boy was so fun to hit. Yes, let's go with--

Oof! Thanks, Raiden. He took steps to go after the Prefect, but Sabel was up and acting weird again, "Yeah, whatever. D-o-n-t-c-a-r-e."

He held up his pillow to block the tea strainers, then in a moment of pure immaturity stuck his tongue out at Sabel. This was followed by a grin matching his opponent's, and he drew forth his own terrifying weapon; a whisk. "It's hard to rent what isn't for lease, foe! Have at thee!" He leapt at Sabel with a jab of the whisk, but it was a feign, and he dodged left before jabbing at the Gryffindor for real.

"Ah ha!" Sabel jumped to the side and did a small flourish of his spoon, which was really more a flailing as a result of tripping over his own feet to avoid Kellen's jab. "I see thee wit is as sharp as thine sword! Perhaps we shall find thee mortality equally as sharp and short ended as thine claim to this land!"

He darted forward, ducking at the last moment to jab upwards at his opponent, a silly grin on his face the whole time. He hadn't had this much fun since they went camping over the summer. This, is how professors should teach.

AAAAAHHHHHH!!

It was the attack of the tea strainers!! Defend yourself! That's just what Arya had done. Holding up her pillow, she tried to fend off as many tea strainers as possible with her pillow while flying a few feet off the ground.

It did not go well. She was soooo preoccupied with defending herself, that she didn't see the smal Slytherin girl until it was to late. Crashing into the girl she quickly rolled over, grinning and completly unphased by the crash. "We don't apologize in battles enemy!" And with that she swatted the girl a few times as she grabed her broom and hoped back on. Pushing off the ground, she laughed before flying continuing her battle flight.

She had looked back up at Sabel, only to see him being attacked by Kellen. Well....he was the ememy as well so he was getting ATTACKED!! Holding her pillow under her arm that held the broom, she reached into her pocket and pulled out a handle full of spoons. Tossing them at the two fifth years. "Defend yourselves!!!"

Widening the circle she was flying in, the puff spotted her crazy!awesome professor flying around. YOU are our next victim. Pulling out more spoons, she threw them at Lainey. Take that for swatting at us!! Muahahaha!!

"You... are so full of beans," Kellen couldn't help laughing at Sabel's banter. Instead of tripping backwards to avoid Sabel's jab, he shoved himself torso-first into the spoon and Sabel's side, "Skadoosh! Yeah, I saw that movie!" With little sisters, it was hard not to.

...and then there were suddenly spoons. From somewhere. Kellen felt one ping off his applesauce-strainer helmet, and turned to see where they were coming from. Ah ha! "Prepare yourself, small one!"

Holy Cuckoo-bird legs!

Everyone was ganging up on Sabel!

"This is not acceptable, O enemies in battle!" Gold cried, flashing Dragnipur the Cake-pan over her head. "Thou shalt be swatted, and swatted, and swatted! If I don't get swatted before that, that is." With which, Gold made a beeline for Kellen, and did exactly that - swatted him!

With ze Cake-pan.

Oh, but she was in danger, here! Well, everyone was but, you know, she couldn't possibly ignore Arya. What if the girl SWATTEDDD her, next? Which was exactly why Gold threw a pillow at the Hufflepuff, for good measure. "Take that, you Arya Lovegoods!Person, youuu!"

RAWRR.

Dianna stood up and looked to the girl she just bumped into.
"She's gone wild!" she thought as she ran past more whacking students just to find Hermione with Selena.
Grabbing a pillow and a couple of wooden spoons she attacked.
"Charge!" as she whacked all of them with pillows.

The girl she bumped into was flying nearby so she threw spoons at her.

Oh well that just wasn't fair. "Beans? Beans?" He laughed at Kellen's comeback of Po the Panda, reaching forward to knock on the strainer on the boy's head with his knuckles. "At least I know there's something in there." It didn't bother him one bit that Stern had avoided his attack with much grace for now there were...Flying Spoons!

"TAKE COVER!" Of course, cover being behind Kellen. Yes, using another in battle as a sheild was acceptable if the other was one's enemy. Yes indeed. "Ladels of mercy, I've never seen anything like it!"

And ladels of mercy did come. In the form of Gold. Grinning like a puppy too happy to see abosluetly everyone, Sabel jumped out from behind Kellen and went back to back with the Gryffindor Prefect. "The enemy of my enemy is my friend." He jabbed his spoon back at Stern and Arya. "On Guard again!"

YAY! Sabel!

"Thou art correct, Brave Warrior!" Gold said. This was totally ze Battle of the Morannon, for her. AND Kellen and Arya were scary!evil ORCS. Okay, they weren't. Gold wouldn't have been imagine them as scary or evil, let alone orcs, even if her life had depended upon that, how could she, right now? Still, it was fun to pretend that she could imagine that.

-- and she was so not making any sense, anymore.

BUT! Since this lesson was meant to be crazy and fun and full of fluffy pillows and fish-slices, that didn't matter!

"En garde!"

"Oy!" Cake pan?! What was this teaming up nonsense?! And using him for a shield?! Retaliation was in order!

"On guard yourself, you blaggard!" Kellen put his whisk between his teeth and swung his pillow at both Sabel and Gold's heads, "Two birds with one stone!" Or... two Gryffindors with one pillow. Trifling details!

Arya saw the young snake girl throwing spoons at her and used her pillow to swat them back in the girl's direction like she was playing tennis.

Then her attention was turned back to her now three friends as they all continued to dodge the spoons that were being thrown her way. It wasn't too easy since her broom decided that it didn't want to cooperate, come on broom we have a battle to win!

When it finally decided to work with her, she flew just a tad higher so that she could soar over her frienimies. Hovering over the three for just a moment, she droped a few teeny tiny spoons and forks, she didn't know what a person would need small silverware until now. For battle.

"Take that Pre-fect!!!" She flew past them and chucked some random pillows there way. Arya FTW!!!

Nuuuu! Gold raised Dragnipur the cakeyy-pan to shield the "attack," did it a little too enthusiastically, and the cakeyyy-pan went FLYIIINGGG through the air, and might have landed on someone's head - helmet - if it had not landed in the lake, first. OOPS.

"Thou shalt not be allowed to defeat the Right Side, Evil!person!" She quickly dug into her pocket for her supply of plastic spatulas, and began throwing them at Kellen. "Take that, Orc!Master!"

Except, she could totally not imagine Kellen as an orc. Not one bit. Which made Gold frown, slightly.

What?

"Pick on someone your own size!" Gold called out, laughingly. Because, you know, Arya was in the air. Which made her taller than Gold. In a totally crazy and nonsensical way. She dodged a fork - OOH, SHINY! No, must dodge, must dodge - but was not able to dodge a spoon. It fell, right on top of her cooking-pot!helmet, and clattered to the ground.

"The sound hurtsss usss," Gold said, totally failing at Gollum!style, before chucking spatulas up at Arya.

Pleased that he had a temporary ally that would probably end up stabbing him in the back as soon as it stopped raining silverware and downfeathers, Sabel joined in his enemy's-enemy battlecry. "For Helms Deep you brazen Uruk-hai!"

He swung his spoon up to try and counter-attack Stern's descending pillow at about the same time Gold raised her pan. Needless to say, both were a little less armoured and weaponrized by the end of it. Hurrrrrrr....spork! A stupid grin ran across his face as he pulled out the half-spoon-half-fork peice of silverware, feeling a little too much like Peter Pan facing off Captain Hook.

"Yes! Aerial assistance!" Kellen didn't even bother wasting time thinking how Arya had thrown cutlery at him moments earlier. What was that line about allegiances made and broken on the battlefield? This was certainly putting truth to it!

"You want brazen, strange quoter of texts?! I'll give you brazen!" Kellen quite liked the sound of Orc Master, actually. Had a nice ring to it. His pillow retreated to the shield position, and he brandished his whisk once more, "Ha ha! I-- nargh!"

He wiggled his nose in an attempt to make it recover from the spatula that had smacked it there. That done, he used his pillow to prevent further projectiles from finding their mark, "Now! Nonsensical Battle Cryyyyy!"

"Take Cover!" she ducked behind older students looking for a broom finally stumbling on one.
"Weeeee!!!!" as she passed by other people and started throwing spoons and pillows at the same time in all directions.

WHAT was happening, here? Well, at least Sabel had her back. For now. Hopefully, he wasn't going to run at her with the spork!spork, the moment the danger lessened, a bit.

Though, would it ever? This was the Battle of the Black Gate, and the risks were far too many, to lessen until the very end! Which, of course, the Orcs were going to lose -- they were, weren't they?

EEP!

"Show us not thy whisk, Uruk-Hai of Isengrad!" She said, solemnly brandishing a fluffy!pillow at Kellen, as she spoke. "We shalt reduce the White Hand to naught, and be victorious!"

Which said, she threw another spatula at him. Because, you know, this one might hit its mark, too.

Hehe.

Arya was giggling waaaaaaay too much to even respond to any of their comments. Even if she wasn't laughing, she couldn't respond without risking being hit with all the cookware thrown at her.

She dodged what she could and used her pillow to hit a few of the items back, but more often than not she was hit with a stray spatuala or whatever else had been thrown at her.

Pulling out those wooden spoons she never did know the name of, she chucked them at her freinds. A huge grin plastered on her face. In her mind, she was soooo winning.

Oof.

Gold could not believe she had forgotten to keep an eye on Arya, while talking to Kellen. Some mistake! She was paying for it too, as a wooden spoon hit the cookie-sheet that protected her ribs, and another, her cooking-pot!helmet.

"The sound hurtttssss ussss, bad Aryieeesss, bad Aryieesss," she said, once again endeavouring to somewhat imitate Gollum, as she raised her pillow to shield herself from further spoons, and brandished Iceflame the Frying Pan - the only other weapon she actually held, right now, other than the pillow - at Arya. "We isss comingsss after youuu."

Broom!

She needed a broom.

Oof.

Raiden was gaining on Arya when Gold came out of nowhere and thwacked him. He stepped to the side, unbalanced for a moment, then kept going, sparing her a grin and a gentle thwack with the broom handle. Right before whatever Sabel had just thrown hit him in the back of the knee.

Stuuuuumble.

"Hit him for me Kellen," he called back to the Ravenclaw, shaking his leg before hurrying off after Arya again. He hadn't even paused to watch as Gold jumped into the fray with Sabel and Kellen.

Sprinting practically, and dodging blows along the way, Raiden tried to catch that little Puff on her broom, but it ended with him somehow near Sabel and them again. And Arya was above them, dropping tableware.

So he jumped, and made a grab for the tail of the broom.

"Merlin's tangled beard! More projectiles!" Or you know, objects falling at a velocity controlled by gravity plus Arya's rather good arm. Yanking his pillow up over both his head and Gold's, he waggled the spork at Kellen. "Come not closer foul stench of the White Wizard! We shall unhand that hand which has been set upon you! Helm's Deep is ours no matter what your Nazgul fiends may throw down upon us!"

His eyes flicked briefly to his not-so-stably-allied-compainion. "I believe, my dear Aragon, we may need to call upon the Elves of Mirkwood soon. There are thousands of them!" Yes, because Kellen and Arya and their projectiles counted for more than two.

Wait! No! No leaving Gold! Ahhhhhhhhh. At least Gollum did not have the ring. Not yet.

"My whisk is win!" Kellen informed Gold, but then she was off chasing Arya. And Raiden was chasing Arya. And Raiden had told him to... "Yes sir, prefect sir! Sabel, prepare to be hit on behalf of the Slytherin household!"

Spork vs. pillow? Victory to the forces of pillow! Kellen swung it in a backhanded horizontal arch, following up with his whisk for good measure. It was his plan, Sabel's reflexes and armour-weaknesses pending, to stick the whisk in the boy's armpit and twist it. Know you foe, and the Dakest boy was ticklish!

"And I don't smell," he added as an afterthought.

"Rai, you're not going to hurt a fly, if you fight like that!" Gold laughed, as Raiden genttttlyyyy thwacked her with his broom-handle. Even the sound didn't hurt Gollum!Gold's ears, this time.

Hehe.

Eyes widening slightly when Raiden jumped, she found it hard not to laugh. Her stock of spatulas was fast depleting but, well, she still had a good quantity, so she was going to use them. Gold chuckled a spatula at Raiden, then another, and then another. Bwaha!

She was glad, of course, when Sabel protected her with the pillow. "Thanks," she managed, before grinning. So she was Aragorn, now? Perfect! Because, you know, Aragorn was hot and scary!cool and TOUGH. Very. "Do not worry, Gandalf, for victory shall be ours." Yeah, right. If one more spoon hit her, she was seriously going to EAT it.

Well, okay, not. Still, flying spoons = not nice.

ESPECIALLY when someone is intentionally throwing them at you.

"Of course it is, Kellen -- and I really am half-Aragorn, half-Gollum," Gold said cheerfully. She stuck her tongue out at him, then, unable to help the moment of total immaturity.

BUT WAIT!

"Away from Gandalf, you!" Gold said, blocking Kellen's pillow with Iceflame, the Frying Pan. She did not, however, see what he was up to with the whisk. Or saw ze whiskyyy a moment too late.

Smell? Had someone said Kellen smelled?

Blinnkkk.

Arya laughed at Gold's impression of Gollum, wasn't the best, but definantly laughable. Holding the broom with one had and her pillow in the other she hovered in one spot for a moment as the objects were thrown at her from all directions. She sent a few back to the snake girl, while a few continued to bounce off her armor.

"You'll never catch me Gollum!!" And she sent more wooden spoons Gold's way while something hit her head. Making it all load in the helment. Gold was right, sound does hurt.

She had sent more spoons Sabel and Kellen's way, she flet herself being draged dooown! Oh noes! What was this maddness!? Turning, she caught a glimps of Raiden holding on the tail of her broom and grinned. Gripping her broom she tried fruitlessly to fly away, but the old broom couldn't take her and Raiden's weight, so down she went. "NOOOOooooes!!!"

"You're forgetting that I'm part-Aragorn," Gold laughed, as she dodged the wooden spoons - it was easier, this time round, because she had been expecting them - and then held up her fluffy!pillow, to shield some more. "Which means I can catch cha!"

Wait.

Forget the broom.

Looked like she wasn't going to need it to chase Arya, anymore.

"Down with the Uruk-Hai!" Gold said, brandishing Frying Pan!Iceflame at Arya, while inwardly glad that Arya hadn't been flying, too high. Because that meant no injury if she did totally fall down. Some thudding on to the ground, yes, but no big, bad bruises.

Perhaps it was good that the brooms were old and rickety and couldn't fly very high, after all.

The battle around him was raging, and as of yet Patroclus had not caused any havoc.

He turned and looked for some admirable foes, he was prepared to fight, till none where left in his way.
"Fight!" He cried and dove into the battle, screaming his battle cry, "Äyiyiyiyiyiyi"

Ooff.
Dianna just got hit by a pillow in the head.
"Weeeeee!!!!" as she zig zagged in the air and then did circles while hitting everyone she can see.