Well of course he would not go in here. He was a Prefect at the very least. Nigel needed to be zen or he just might go insane. Merlin. How was he suppose to know the magic number? Well Nigel guessed no loo trip for him this class. The more Nigel listened the more he thought this class was in wonderland or crazy world.

It was awesome and frightening at the same time.

And what was this about West knowing the invisible number. If it is invisible how can West see it. But that was thinking logically. It seemed that Professor wanted West to answer. Nigel was only getting more confused thinking about it.

Now onto Beards.

"Beards are pretty awesome."

Nigel wished he could grow a beard. But it was a lost cause.

Really....

Really......

REALLY!?!?


Ariana was now laughing, and she could be heard, go on and ask if she cared. She glanced over at SKY and back to the front before putting her hand up and saying what EVERYONE was thinking "What do beards have to do with arithmancy? "

Really, could she know... if he really had a good GOOD explanation she might just stay and THINK about coming to his next class...

Maybe.

Facial hair? Interesting question. Very interesting question. Mo put his finger over his lip to demonstrate. "So mustaches happen when there's hair on top of your lip. It can be only on top of your lip, or it can be on top and to the sides, or it can curl wildly... those are awesome. But when it starts to grow on the bottom, what your mustache is doing is turning into a beard."

Fact about Facial Hair 101. "Beards are okay, but only with a mustache. If you have a beard but no mustache, you aren't living right and you need to rethink your life choices."

Well, to start off... "Yes professor, I accounted for infinity as there are an infinite amount of numbers between each number so in stating number with multiple digits, infinity was included. Also what I know about facial hair. Precisely B3ARDS would be that they can come in plenty of colors, including white like your own, and what I can deduce from that would be that the number of colored B3ARDS would be greater for women, as they have the ability to see more colors. Men, although they are the ones to grow the beards, cannot see as many B3ARD colors as women and unless the beard is rather long cannot see the beard on themselves without a mirror.
Ta-da. She hoped that he got all that because Tora was now quite winded and didn't want to repeat.

Jake's head hurt.

He figured it out though. At least he thought he did. The Professor was completely mental. Completely. So basically Jake could say anything he wanted and earn points. Right? So the prefect put up his hand and answered the question. About beards. "They're more work than they're worth. I mean, I can grow facial hair, but why would I want stuff growing out of my face? A little bit is okay, but if it gets to be too much then it scratches Anya when we snog. So I have to shave often, which is a pain in the neck." ...And that was his full knowledge on beards. "...Oh. But also, I think some men grow it so that it hypnotizes females in a really creepy and unhealthy way." That was his full knowledge on the subject. He was done.

Cassia was very glad she hadn't used up her scarce brain juice to calculate the numbers. Did anyone really try to? Wow. She had lots to learn. Or you know, fail. She already winced imagining the 'D' for dreadful on her owl's result. Ouch.

So they were starting now? Oh Merlin, she couldn't keep up with the warm up, she was doomed here. Unless she just sat here and pretended to be absorbing it ALL in. Whatever it was.

Hold that thought? Did the man say beards? Was this some kind of a metaphor for something? She didn't eliminate any option. She just found out about invisible numbers.

Suspiciously, she waited until others answered and yup they were talking beards. "They look kinda itchy," She simply said. Look at the professor's, Cassia felt uncomfy just looking at it.

This was hurting her braaaaaaain.

Check her calculations? She hadn't actually DONE any and by the looks of many of the others, they hadn't either. "Professor," she called, "what was the number?" Yes. She knew they were waiting for the 'invisible' and the 'magic' numbers, but she was an impatient soul. Also, how good infinity be wrong? It meant the highest number ever, or to suit her needs, any number.

... Beards?

Imagine if her Mum had seen this class; she'd send home for the twins straight away. This was super silly and most other peoples probably thought so, too. But at the chance that Professor man DID know what he was doing, she answered again. "Beards are cool. You have a beard. This class doesn't have a beard, though. I don't understand why this is relevant, Siiiiiiiir." Seriously.

Minerva's was so confused.. She just sat there listening to all the yelling or confusion or whatever this mess of a class was. It wasn't until she heard the word facial hair and beards that her face turned as red as a tomato. Beards.. BEARDS.. He had to be kidding after her last class. She slid down in her chair a bit. "Professor, it grows on ones face." or could be spelled onto your face.

That was about all she knew, the only other thing she really knew was that Ethan looked kind of cute with Facial hair, but that didn't have to be said out loud. No not at all. So could they like move on or be done now, because she was over this.

Jayden was in complete shock. First numbers. And then weird homework. And now Beards.

BEARDS....


.......

Beards.

"Well, Beards can be fancy or braided sometimes, and I know that some women prefer their men to have them... and others not so much... but sir. What do beards have to do with Arithmancy?"


Beaaaaaaards. O.o

Agreed. They were all as dumb as socks, except for H3R and PR0F3SS0R FR3NCH.

Alice of House Jeremy Gryffindor beamed.

"Beards, professor? You have ONE. I see it. On your face. It looks very nice TWODAY. It's groomed nicely. Yes. Okay. Well done. Well done."

She was so getting the hang of this. R3ADY 2 INT3RPR3T TH3 NUMB3RS.

West looked at Alice. Looked. Stared. Disbelief. Whatever you wanted to call it. And then back at this man called French.

Invisib... what. An invisible number and a multiplier? Which was... what, also invisible?

And bowling and Arithmancy were one and the same? And beards. West's logic aligned brain subsequently imploded. He gamely attempted an answer, hand wavering somewhat.

"They can give girls rashes while snogging." He might've added 'Ascanius wants one' but he wasn't about to throw his mate under the bus like that, who knew what this Professor French might do to Ascanius's face?

Add Sky to the rather short list of people cracking up. Because really? Was Professor French trolling them all or what? And if he was completely serious than where on Earth had Bunz found this guy? She raised her brows at Ariana before shaking her head. Man.

Also, she was now sure the professor had never seen Star Wars, because, yeah.

"Mr. Cantwell has a rather nice one, though." was her contribution to the random conversation.

What in the world?

Really.

What in the wizarding world was this class right now? Ella had been pretty okay with Arithmancy before now and she'd even taken a liking to the class but yeah, badger was confuzzled. And they had to calculate those numbers for homework? Did this professor miss the bit about people having NO CLUE what was going on? Cause yeah, that was a thing.

Only then there was talk of facial hair and the blonde perked up a bit cause HAIR EXPERT IN THE HOUSE. She stopped her doodling, cause that was obviously happening, and focused on what she knew about the subject.

"You've got to be careful with facial hair. Beards can make you look wise but they can also make you look just plain silly." Or plain scary, depending. Some people didn't have the faces for beards, y'know. Or the faces for facial hair in general. In that case, you might end up looking like some sort of super villain. *COUGH* Oakey Gunter *COUGH* "Grooming can also be an issue cause food and yeah, not cool." Plus they could catch FIRE. Imagine you FACE on fire. Merlin. "I'm sure yours is perfectly safe, though. Well groomed too."

Ves was being super focused and looking around, smiling at all the craziness. Fun lesson was starting out fun...Good thing about that, too...she wasn't thinking about 'NUMBERS' so much...or how bad she'd been at Arithmancy back in France.

...and having grown up in the 'muggle world' as it was called...

Hitchhiker's Guide reference!! She LOVED those books...The smaller Slytherin boy? Was that a Snake on his robes?...Yes, he got a wide grin.


Was...........he serious? Ves couldn't tell...

Bowling, though...That was something she grew up with...and HUNS...like from Mulan, right? See? There were answers in Disney.

Cracking her notebook open...(Not her observation notebook...but the one she'd set aside for Arithmancy)...she jotted down the homework. It was nice of him to go ahead and give it to them. Just so they didn't have to wonder and worry if there would actually be an assignment later on before leaving. Ves liked that very much...

...and then he was asking about facial hair. Naturally Mo WOULD say that, wouldn't he?

Feeling rather comfortable...she raised her hand and provided an actual answer...One that was more than a few words...and there was SMILING. She liked this Professor even if he'd been rather rude and called people 'dumb as socks'...

"They make guys look older...'Adult' older...and they don't look too comfortable, either. Don't they itch bad?"

Also...for Alexa...because Ves knew her well enough...and she was trying to help. "Woman can grow beards...and mustaches."

Beards? Hmm, Malcolm scratched his chin and thought about this one. He could have sworn he was growing like three hairs on his chin but it turns out it wasn't that. His father had a mustache a very thick mustache, so all he knew is that i grew out of your face.

Raising his hand he was going to give his simple answer, which was basically all he knew for now. "Beards grow on your face?" He wasn't sure if that was the correct answer but that's what he knew.

Heck he aspired to some day actually grow a full on beard and not just three hairs.

Was there still time to walk out? Or cry? Or... ... slam her head repeatedly into her desk? This was NOT arithmancy. Math demanded structure.

Not... beard talk.

Who talked about beards in class anyway? Anya Phillips was NOT pleased. She was probably the only Gryffindor, maybe even the only student, that felt that way, but... seriously. ... maybe she'd just have a calculus book owled out to her?

... ... and Jake's lovely input just sent her over the edge. Her head met the desk with a defeated thud. After a few seconds she raised her hand. "I judge people based on the length of their beard. Like... if it's super thin I think they're out to rob a bank or something. And if it's longer than medium, they're homeless. And if it's super long, they're old and probably Santa Claus." Probably.

Ugh! Adi was hating this class. First off, this man was sure as heck confusing him. He had come in here with much expectations about understanding Arithmancy and all he was getting here was his brain completely addled. And secondly, did that man just say some of them were DUMB AS SOCKS? What was the matter with him? Is that what you tell students? Sheesh! The man was completely mental.

Never the less, Adi focused on the next question. Beards? He raised his hand as he silently laughed at the Slytherin dude's (West) answer. "Um, they can grow pretty long if they're not trimmed. Like Albus Dumbledore's.''

Now she was torn between slight annoyance because all this was completely ridiculous nonsense and amusement because...it was still completely ridiculous nonsense.

Staying quiet was apparently cheating - she wasn't sure HOW but she didn't understand how this guy's mind worked anyway - and meant she had to use the loo. Could she use that as an excuse to leave and never come back to this class? Possibly. It seemed almost anything was fine in this class except for not speaking. So maybe she'd consider throwing out some kinda random answer...

...oh yes. Yeah, she'd be answering this one.

Hand raised. "They're considered manly and stuff." At least, Ascanius thought so. Not that Penelope was disagreeing. But that was all she had to add to this right now.

Beards?... Was the professor serious? Brodie just shook his head not really sure what to answer. He heard someone ask the same he was thinking, what did a beard have to do with this class? He didn't get it, but he shrugged and watched as everyone put their hands up trying to guess. He didn't have the slightest clue... "I know that my mother always said a man with a beard wasn't the kind of person she wanted to be around... and that I've never been interested in growing one." Shrug, that's all he had, hopefully it was enough.

Beards.. what?

Claudette stared at the eccentric man for a moment, completely confused as to what this class was even about from the beginning. She opened and closed her mouth a few times, unsure of what to say or even how to form words at this point. Finally, she just closed it and listened to the suggestions from her classmates.

What did she have to offer that someone else hadn't already? What more was there to know about beards, really? Finally she raised her hand. "They make fake ones too, you know.. Like wigs.. except for your face.."

Quote:

Originally Posted by aaetha

"You forgot 'the universe'," Adrienne pointed out. "It's, 'life, the universe and everything'." Anyone who'd read the Hitchhiker's Guide was a friend to her, and she made a quick mental note to look for the firstie snake after class, when they'd no longer get in trouble for chatting (although, given this professor's laxness for other rules, and for actually teaching, it was certainly possible she'd have no trouble at all holding a conversation with someone several desks away from her).

"Oh, yeah, you're right! The UNIVERSE too," Caleb said with a smile. He actually hadn't read the books, but he'd heard about those books and how this weird number was like the answer to LIFE and it just stuck with him. And since this Arithmancy class couldn't get any more ridiculous, why not throw out some Muggle references?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Professor R. French

[spoiler=ANSW3RS]

"Let's begin with YOU telling M3 how much and what you know about FACIAL hair? B3ARDS to be exact, okay yes. Please be precise. B3ARDS."


OOC: This is where class has started. So.... be here. Or not. 0r n0t. Iz c00l. 100101! Post what your charries know about BEARDS. K.

BEARDS?

Ok. This wasn't funny any more. Caleb was starting to get annoyed.

"Um, well...some guys can grow a LOT of facial hair and others can't. I dunno. My dad has a lot of hair, so I'll probably have a crazy beard someday..." he said, trailing off as he thought out loud to himself.

He'd avoided the afro, but would he be so lucky with facial hair? Caleb didn't like the idea of having to shave EVERY day. It seemed exhausting.

Whaaaaaat was going on?

Sophie was still trying to figure out the answer to this question when another was asked. BEARDS. What did she know about beards? ...and there was already homework? She couldn't even remember the assignment by this point, so she really, really hoped that somebody would post it on the common room notice board.

Either way, she was liking Arithmancy a lot more than she thought she would. It was easy, and she barely had to do any work!

Back to beards... "There's six letters in the word B-E-A-R-D-S," she said, raising her hand. Although at this point, she doubted it even mattered if she raised her hand or yelled the answer while turning a cartwheel. "...and only five letters in the word B-E-A-R-D. That's one even number and one odd."

What in Merlin was going on?!!

This class was supposed to be about numbers, right? Not beards...

She wished that Professor Hadley was still here...She should come back pronto. At least then they actually talked about numbers not weird things like beards.

Eh time to answer the non-number question, after raising her hand she said "Beards are weird! And they got stuff caught in them sometimes...And that is gross. So in my opinion they'd have to be short and manageable for them to be not gross." After finishing she noticed the professor had a beard...Awkward...Maybe he would just automatically put himself in the not gross category..

Odd. How odd, the topics that they had discussed thus far. But it was interesting and kept Schuyler's attention with ease.

Plus, she did find a little bit of entertainment in Olly's bewilderment about having to calculate the sum of all the numbers the class had suggested. She simply kept the grin on her face and offered a shrug. Unless there was some overly-scrupulous student who had scribbled down every number that each person had said, no one would get that answer.

If the professor hadn't specified with 'facial hair,' Schuyler would have volunteered a different sort of beard, the kind used to refer to a pretend girlfriend or boyfriend. Maybe it was better that way. Often times, old people were bad with new slang, and Schuyler wasn't in the mood to serve as an urban dictionary.

"I think close-shaven beards look nice, but long ones aren't so flattering. They also look like a nuisance." Now, why were they talking about this?

Was this guy serious? Eliza was doing her best not to show how completely bizarre she thought all of this was. Part of her, wanted to get on with the lesson. She already wasn't too fond of Arithmancy and had just started getting comfortable with the lessons and the school went and switched up her professor for it. She was not pleased.

On the other hand though, she was fighting the urge to giggle. While she wasn't sure she'd ever learn anything in a class with a professor like this, she couldn't help but think he was a little bit funny. Mostly his speech patterns and his excitability. But - being the Claw that she was, she would really rather learn something useful, no matter how silly and low pressure it was to talk about beards.

She raised her hand to throw some more commentary into the mix and said, "Well, Professor, some beards are mutli-colored. You know, like the roots are one color, then there's a main overall color, but some strands are sort of rebellious and turn other colors like red or white." She only knew this because her father's beard was pretty hodge podgey.... which made her wonder how and why the strands changed colors in the first place. How does that work? Is that some sort of gene splicing or something weird like that? Why would some cells be one color and the other.... She didn't know. But suddenly she thought beards were a little more interesting than she had before. Still not a fan of numbers though.