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Professor R. French put the last tidying touches on his classroom, finishing off by writing a GR33TING to his class on the ancient chalk board. The room is ordinary in the sense that there are desks in rows and cobwebs in the corners. What might strike the N0RMAL Arithmancy student as peculiar is the cans of paint, cauldron of brewing potion, and long sheets of parchment waiting for the students in the front of the classroom.
The new Arithmancy PR0F3SS0R is awaiting his students with his fingers knitted together and resting on the bulge of his belly.
OOC: I don't care if you're "late". Keep posting arrivals for now. Keep posting numbers. Class hasn't STARTED started, we're only warming up . OOC: No more shouting numbers, K? We're ADDING the random #'s now. Add the #s. HAVE FUN WIH THAT LOL. But you may still arrive if you want. OPEN DOOR CLASS.
OOC: This is where class has started. So.... be here. Or not. 0r n0t. Iz c00l. 100101! Post what your charries know about BEARDS. K.
OOC: YES OKAY, have your student come to the front, ladle Beard Growing Potion into a cup, DRINK, and sit back down -- a BEARD *WILL* grow onto EVERYONE'S FACES that consumes the potion. You can decide it's make and model . Amount of potion consumed is proportional to BEARD. So...little potion? Pencil mustache? TOO MUCH? Flood dragging beard? With me? yes okay thanks.
OOC: So... dip the beard in paint, dribble the beard on the parchment, COUNT YOUR DRIBBLES. I encourage you to go to PAINT and make your drawing. It isn't necessary, but hehe anyone can draw dribbles, right? hehe DIP, DRIBBLE, COUNT. Go 2 it, yes okay good thanks.
OOC: On the homestretch now! Once you've COUNTED your beard drippings, condense your number down (if necessary) [12 becomes 1+2 = 3. 3 is your number!], then get your READING from the CHART. Do what the chart tells you to do. Take this LESSON with you for LIFE. Yes okay well done very good okay.
UPDATE: OOC: I'm gonna leave this open through Monday. RP ALL YOU WANT OKAY? Just don't set things on fire? Or if you do... I dunno. NO POST ON SUNDAY from me, and I'm not expecting to post until MONDAY EST. Play. Have fun. Practice with your number. Paint the walls with your beards.
They were seriously having a class that centred around B3ARDS? The blondes eyebrow furrowed in confusion, unable to understand why they'd be talking about something so... trivial.
And what did she know about them?
"Um... food gets caught in them?" she offered with a shrug, because that was pretty much all she ever noticed - it was a pet hate of hers. Actually... thinking on when her brother had started growing one she knew two more things! "They're prickly when you start growing them and they can get annoying?"
Yeah that probably wasn't the right answer, but considering it was Arithmancy she wasn't expecting to do well!
"Don't cry because you can't do the math. We're not all gifted like the ancient Egyptians were in our sums. Please, relax, okay."
----
"Let's begin with YOU telling M3 how much and what you know about FACIAL hair? B3ARDS to be exact, okay yes. Please be precise. B3ARDS."
Don't cry because he couldn't do the maths?
Józsua wasn't even aware of the unimpressed look that had settled on his face it came so naturally.
But.. euh..
He was utterly confused and not sure if this was another joke he didn't understand. He was finding himself to be confused over the British humour a lot these days. He felt completely out of his depth, not sure whether he should be laughing or CRY1NG or.. continuing to look unimpressed.
But.. Euh.. he didn't really want to make a bad impression when he had only just started lessons at this school so he went along with answering the question.
Beards.
B3ARDS.
Huh..
“Professor, YOU have a beard.” He pointed out, eyebrow raised ever so slightly. “And only a real man can grow one.”
Flattery and facial hair.
Oh and..
“And they're good coverup if you don't have much of a chin.”
"They can be all sorts of colours or lengths and they're hairy." Because her dad had one. And he said it was in the farmer rule book to have one... but she suspected that was a lie.
"Oh yep, yes. Of course. But not in the classroom, please thanks, and you must FIRST give me the mag1c number. Of course."
"Around? That's not precise, please be precise thanks okay."
"Only infinity? Please check your calculations again."
"Please don't cheat in my class. If you need to use the loo, wait your turn okay."
"I'm Professor R. French, yes. I believe I made introductions. The answer is not Y, no, no please try again. Y is for another class, yes."
"You need to speak less. Sometimes less is more and it would be a great deal more in your case.Two thousand million billion gazillion to the power of r2d2 more yes thanks. Please put your head down and give it a rest. Everyone knows that the House of Jeremy Gryffindor is prone to migraines."
"Are you quite sure? I think you left out at least one number. Perhaps 8 numbers. Did you account for infinity please okay?"
"Don't cry because you can't do the math. We're not all gifted like the ancient Egyptians were in our sums. Please, relax, okay."
"7 is never the magic numb3 on a full moon, or in July, or east of Tahiti. And 3 can only be used if you're near the equator at sunset in summer."
"You haven't waited for understanding. This is a warm up exercise. I don't know how you're already behind, okay yes thanks. Please keep up, don't fall behind, do your sums now."
"Meow? M30W? Is that with or without the addition of R2D2?"
"Yes.... yes, okay, you are on the right track yes, thanks, great work. I believe it was a kenobi okay, but you aren't far off. Far enough off to be wrong, but also close to right good work okay."
"Have you measured the t0ngue yes? No?"
"I've told you already okay? Yes. That answer has been given, plus now we are n0 longer giving out NUMBERS. We are adding. Please try your sums yes okay."
"Ah, no, no I think you mean the question? She was of course the inventor of the cauldron in 130 BC. This Arithmancy ONE ZERO ONE. If you have history questions, let's wait until class is over. Visit my office for your questions yes okay thanks."
"MmK, yes no. No, you didn't completely carry your numbers. Carry your numbers. You must carry them, okay yes thanks."
"I think you'll have to speak up so the rest of the class can hear you."
"No, no, I'm afraid not you there okay yes? Napping is for another class, quite sure, tut tut yes okay."
"Yes and no. It depends, okay? It depends. The numb3rs are not all here, we must first have all the numbers okay? Yes." And also, "Are you quite alright? Squeaking, as everyone knows, is the first sign of dragon pox, a disease discovered in 584 AD in the Himalayas by the Goblin King."
----
For the first time since class had begun, Professor R. French smiled. He unclutched his hands from his plumb middle and gave THIS Gryffindor, House Jeremy, a parade clap.
"Too right. TWO RIGHT. This has been a nice warm up project to get your math juices flowing. Some of you are dumb as socks, but a few - like this one of House Jeremy Gryffindor [Al1c3]- are ready to really start INTERPRETING the NUMB3RS around you. FOR HOMEWORK - you must complete the calculations from this warm up - if the young gentleman [west 0d3ssa] will be so kind as to REVEAL the invisible number and it's multiplier, yes please okay? And INTERPRET it's m3aning! What did this random number MEAN? What can you GLEAN from the NUMB3R we randomly CREATED in Ar1thmancy ONE class?? Okay yes thanks."
----
With the warm up and homework out of the way, it was now time for the lesson to ACTUALLY begin.
"As everyone knows, Arithmancy was first used by the Huns in the year 1030. They were also responsible for inventing bowling and the two - Arithmancy and Bowling - are often ONE and the same. More on that later yes okay? Okay. Today TWODAY we will be focusing on how to INTERPRET numbers that YOU YOURSELF YOU okay can generate."
TWODAY, yes okay.
"Let's begin with YOU telling M3 how much and what you know about FACIAL hair? B3ARDS to be exact, okay yes. Please be precise. B3ARDS."
OOC: This is where class has started. So.... be here. Or not. 0r n0t. Iz c00l. 100101! Post what your charries know about BEARDS. K.
Taylor stared at the professor. Is he crazy or something? Tay wrote the homework down and just sighed, raising her hand, "A beard, sir? What does that have to do with Arithmancy?" She looked at him confused but continued, "A beard is facial hair that can be any natural color and there are many different styles..."Yeah, not important to numbers in any shape or way...
Err...Jezz wrote down her homework still confused and it didn't stop there. Beards. They were going to talk about beards. It was Arithmancy. Numbers. They should be discussing numbers. She took a calm and steady breath. Beards. What did she know about beards? She raised her hand, "People grow beards at different ages. Some younger, some older." At least her answer involved beards and a hint at numbers.
__________________
She Can't Help Herself. Her Mind Won't Slow Down. Watch Out! There's A NEW Ravenclaw In Town.
Sarah was getting bored with the zeros, as it was she was writing it out as joke. When Tora first started Sarah thought the claw was being serious, yet that wink relaxed her. This was all for fun.
SPOILER!!: Professor R. French;11433465
"You need to speak less. Sometimes less is more and it would be a great deal more in your case.Two thousand million billion gazillion to the power of r2d2 more yes thanks. Please put your head down and give it a rest. Everyone knows that the House of Jeremy Gryffindor is prone to migraines."
-----------
For the first time since class had begun, Professor R. French smiled. He unclutched his hands from his plumb middle and gave THIS Gryffindor, House Jeremy, a parade clap.
"-----------
With the warm up and homework out of the way, it was now time for the lesson to ACTUALLY begin.
"As everyone knows, Arithmancy was first used by the Huns in the year 1030. They were also responsible for inventing bowling and the two - Arithmancy and Bowling - are often ONE and the same. More on that later yes okay? Okay. Today TWODAY we will be focusing on how to INTERPRET numbers that YOU YOURSELF YOU okay can generate."
TWODAY, yes okay.
"Let's begin with YOU telling M3 how much and what you know about FACIAL hair? B3ARDS to be exact, okay yes. Please be precise. B3ARDS."
[/COLOR]
"Actually, I think the people who have more intellect should do the talking," eyes West, unless the teacher made him a selective mute. "This is democracy, all need to have a say, just like you can speak, I can speak. The power of speech is what seperates us from animals, as animals cannot talk, make different sounds like humans can. I was granted to gift of speech,, why should I not use it?" Put her head down, "actually, I am over my anaemia and I don't need rest. Besides, if I put my head down I would miss out the entertainment this class is giving?" On the migraines. "true migraine have genetic predispositions, put I think I am doing okay. Beside, I am from the house of GODRIC Gryfindor, a house which has been around way before Jeremy Gryffindor was born, so I don't need to worry about that. But if I meet someone from the house of Jeremy Gryffindor, I will let them know"
WHAT!!!!!! "I presume that as a professor in this subject you would know the true origins of the subject. Arithmancy is based on Hebrew Gematria using the latin version. But the Hebrews did have beards, so if you needed something from Arithmancy to base your lesson on beards, you could have stuck with the original Hebrew. She said. She would have been okay if an Arithmancy professor did not know his HoM well, (although the Hogwarts houses should have been included in preparations to teach there), but to not know ARITHMANCY!
Quote:
Originally Posted by DaniDiNardo
"Beards are something that almost no girl can grow." So it didn't actually matter much to her, see? "Boys seem to like them though, like Ascanius."
"Actually, some women can have beards depending on how much masculine genes they have, each person have both, with the more dominant type of genes determining their gender. There has been bearded woman in the past. That being said, males do more commonly have facial hair and usually the way they present it differs depending on culture, locale and religion. Some men have straight beards, other have curly. Dumbledore had a really long beard. Also some people's beard colour is different to the colour on the skull, for example my brother has brown hair on his head, yet when his beard grows, it grows red". That being said, Sarah thought that only married men should let their beards grow. Beards are a sign of maturity.
<--- Random | Funfetti | Lima Bean | Slytherpuff | PURPLE | Hoarder of pens | ALWAYS Severus
Quote:
Originally Posted by 1st
Professor French cleared his throat to begin again, "I'm going to need someone to perform the ancient Egyptian art of ADDITION on all the numbers shouted! What RANDOM NUMBER have we created here today as a class??? Anyone? Please perform the addition."
O.O They had to what? Hannah was actually supposed to be paying attention to what numbers everybody else was screaming about? Everybody should have done a nice simple number like four, like her. Of course that seemed to be asking too much of people… especially with this group. So she decided the best answer would be “A LOT” It was a lot right? There was no way that she was going to be able to add all of those numbers considering all she remembered was the number that she herself had calculated. That wouldn’t really matter right?
Quote:
Originally Posted by 2nd
"As everyone knows, Arithmancy was first used by the Huns in the year 1030. They were also responsible for inventing bowling and the two - Arithmancy and Bowling - are often ONE and the same. More on that later yes okay? Okay. Today TWODAY we will be focusing on how to INTERPRET numbers that YOU YOURSELF YOU okay can generate."
TWODAY, yes okay.
"Let's begin with YOU telling M3 how much and what you know about FACIAL hair? B3ARDS to be exact, okay yes. Please be precise. B3ARDS."
Beards? What did beards have to do with anything. The first thought that came to her mind was that you would sprout one if you went nosing around Professor Airey's stuff, but she decided to keep that little tid bit to herself for the time being. Did they have to raise their hands? She wasn't entirely sure, but she knew that some professors sure got bent out of shape if you didn't. Deciding that it was most likely best not to chance it she slender hand rose into the air.
"Beards grow on your face and they are hairy." That was lame. Oh wait... numbers she was sure that he was getting at numbers! DUH! "Six... there are six numbers in the word beard and that is a nice even number." Better? She sure hoped so.
urine trouble | Pat's Strong Confident Other Half | Pees Like a Champion Unicorn Racehorse
Quote:
Originally Posted by Professor R. French
"Let's begin with YOU telling M3 how much and what you know about FACIAL hair? B3ARDS to be exact, okay yes. Please be precise. B3ARDS."
BLINK. BEARDS?!
Alec sat up a little and looked around. Where was the Pie Man when you needed him? He would have loved this little talk. LOVED it! The two had had that little talk about facial hair not too long ago which then led to Tag, who also couldn't be spotted by the Hufflepuff, promoting Weasley's Wizard Wheezes as well as telling him that he should steer away from facial hair.
All in all, beards were a no go. But fake ones were okay.
But... question. About beards. "Erm... Professor?" he said, raising his hand in the air, "Beards grow faster in the summer." How did he know? His dad. And there was that one picture in which the man hadn't shaved for a while before Alec was born so, when father and son took their first pictures together, the man's chin and upper lip had hair!company. And his actual hair had been quite long, too.
And yeah, what did this have to do with Arithmancy? But could they continue talking about hair?
Kimothée Chalamet • The UWU Agenda • Once Baby, Now Trouble • All Growed Up
Quote:
Originally Posted by Professor R. French
"Let's begin with YOU telling M3 how much and what you know about FACIAL hair? B3ARDS to be exact, okay yes. Please be precise. B3ARDS."
This class was bonkers. Kat was beginning to question why she had even passed this OWL two terms ago. I mean, it was easy and all... but she would completely fail this class if this old man was going to teach them. She was secretly wishing that Hadley would come back to this class in the middle of the term. Kat would go mad. She didn't want to fail in any NEWT, but it seemed like it was likely to happen with Arithmancy. Because now, they were talking about beards which was out of context. Like, what in Merlin's beard...?!?!
What about facial hair did they know? How was she supposed to know? Did it look like the Head Girl had a beard or a mustache? Kat raised her hand. "They're supposed to be itchy. Is your beard itchy, Professor?" It was an important question anyway, which held important information. She wanted to know. Feed the curious ones.
__________________
When all is going wrong and you're scared as hell..._________________________ _____________________...Maybe a hundred bad days made a hundred good stories
From the moment Ascanius had walked into his class, he had thought this French guy was an idiot, which was his sentiments toward every male member of the staff. Yet, there was something especially stupid about this guy and if he said ONE more pun Ascanius was going to walk out. The fifth year wasn't going to waste his precious time on some....stupid buffoon.
Until................the buffoon asked about facial hair.
Very rarely did Ascanius ever show ANY emotion besides the one of smirk or charm. He kept his sentences short and his opinions to himself to save the drama, but in that moment he was practically BEAMING. Maybe this French guy wasn't so bad after all. 'Cause he had just asked about facial hair and Ascanius WANTED facial hair.
It was fate. The world must have wanted him to have a beard. He noted Professor French had one himself. And so, for basically the first time in any male Professor's class, he gave a serious and interested answer. He wanted to know more.
"Professor, a proper, adult beard can develop at any time, but its more common to develop to skill to grow one between the ages of seventeen and twenty, yeah? 'Course many do develop them earlier if their testosterone levels are high enough, which is common with athletes." And he was one of them. Smirk. "Also, the beginnings of facial hair, not beards, can begin as early as eleven, but it typically occurs 'round fourteen, fifteen, sixteen. The stubble, yeah? Oh...and they are synonymous with manliness." What? He had done his research.
So what if the guy was an idiot? And he was big time. If he could give him any insight on how to rock a beard, Ascanius would pay attention.
How were beards and numbers even sort of related? Well... Ariel could think of one way. The girl poked her hand into the air. "Vell, beards tend to grow in a random pattern as far as the 'air follicles are arranged, but ze amount of growth does maintain a consistent average from person to person." Or at least, it sounded like it should. To be honest, Ariel didn't know a lot about facial hair.
"Ah yes, very good. Well done. Exactly. RAND0MN3SS!!!!!!!! That is 1MPORTANT!!!!!!!!"
Quote:
Originally Posted by aaetha
"Well," Adrienne pondered, "Since it is September and I'm pretty sure it's not a full moon, I guess seven can be the magic number." She supposed it could be a full moon, but she usually tried to keep updated on when new and full moons were going to be, and she didn't remember seeing anything about today. "But technically, everywhere is east of Tahiti, so does that mean that it's neither seven nor three?" She wasn't sure whether she was looking for an answer or not, but she said it anyway, because she was simply curious.
"Well, to begin with, yours could use some grooming." Oh, dear, she really hadn't meant to say that. Adrienne pressed her lips together and mentally cursed herself for blurting it out, but figured it would be easier to just keep talking than to pretend she hadn't said anything. "They grow on faces, often men's but sometimes women's too, and, um, they're made out of hair," she finished rather lamely. Adrienne quickly jotted down everything Professor French had said about... Huns, was it? and went on to shut herself up because otherwise she'd probably say something else offensive.
"Be sure. Not pretty sure, your physical attractiveness is of no consequence to Arithmancy, yes okay thanks."
"..... No, no thank you. Please k33p your tongue in check or there will be consequences, yes okay."
Quote:
Originally Posted by DaniDiNardo
Scowl.
"Beards are something that almost no girl can grow." So it didn't actually matter much to her, see? "Boys seem to like them though, like Ascanius." Because there was that one conversation that one time. Lex glanced to the floor then to the door. Where the hell was a man eating plant when you needed one? She'd give it 'til the second class because Christiansen has lasted that long.
No longer.
"Except today, yes okay. You will all grow beards, very well."
Quote:
Originally Posted by bitsyandtank
"All I know about beards, since I don't have the luxury of having one yet, is that they are...well...random. Just like the numbers we shouted out. Each beard is unique. There are no two exactly alike." He took a breath and continued "Some are rather large, others small. Some are full and others missing spots here and there."
With a giant smile upon his face, Asher straightened himself in his seat. He had no idea if his answer was even remotely correct, but he had answered. He tried.
"So you no little, or n0ne, ZER0! That is okay. You will learn today when you grow one."
Quote:
Originally Posted by JennMarie
Really....
Really......
REALLY!?!?
Ariana was now laughing, and she could be heard, go on and ask if she cared. She glanced over at SKY and back to the front before putting her hand up and saying what EVERYONE was thinking "What do beards have to do with arithmancy? "
Really, could she know... if he really had a good GOOD explanation she might just stay and THINK about coming to his next class...
Maybe.
"You still never gave a number. You answer my request, perhaps I'll answer yours, yes please okay. But you may also wait and remember your place. It's there, in a desk, n0t at the front of the room. I am Professor French, you are the girl that can't answer questions. Know your place, please okay thanks bye."
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cassirin
Facial hair? Interesting question. Very interesting question. Mo put his finger over his lip to demonstrate. "So mustaches happen when there's hair on top of your lip. It can be only on top of your lip, or it can be on top and to the sides, or it can curl wildly... those are awesome. But when it starts to grow on the bottom, what your mustache is doing is turning into a beard."
Fact about Facial Hair 101. "Beards are okay, but only with a mustache. If you have a beard but no mustache, you aren't living right and you need to rethink your life choices."
"You are not fond of the goatee? Interesting, yes okay. The goatee can be and is important to Arithmancy. They were first grown in Voodoo farms for bats to sleep in. Very important, yes okay."
Quote:
Originally Posted by Syd
Jake's head hurt.
He figured it out though. At least he thought he did. The Professor was completely mental. Completely. So basically Jake could say anything he wanted and earn points. Right? So the prefect put up his hand and answered the question. About beards. "They're more work than they're worth. I mean, I can grow facial hair, but why would I want stuff growing out of my face? A little bit is okay, but if it gets to be too much then it scratches Anya when we snog. So I have to shave often, which is a pain in the neck." ...And that was his full knowledge on beards. "...Oh. But also, I think some men grow it so that it hypnotizes females in a really creepy and unhealthy way."That was his full knowledge on the subject. He was done.
"You should not be shaving your neck, yes okay. Very dangerous, that okay? The House of Jeremy Gryffindor are known for their grooming, so be safe yes okay."
Quote:
Originally Posted by ForeverYours
This was hurting her braaaaaaain.
Check her calculations? She hadn't actually DONE any and by the looks of many of the others, they hadn't either. "Professor," she called, "what was the number?" Yes. She knew they were waiting for the 'invisible' and the 'magic' numbers, but she was an impatient soul. Also, how good infinity be wrong? It meant the highest number ever, or to suit her needs, any number.
... Beards?
Imagine if her Mum had seen this class; she'd send home for the twins straight away. This was super silly and most other peoples probably thought so, too. But at the chance that Professor man DID know what he was doing, she answered again. "Beards are cool. You have a beard. This class doesn't have a beard, though. I don't understand why this is relevant, Siiiiiiiir." Seriously.
"That was for you to calculate. Please no cheat1ing in class!"
"And that is probably because I have not yet explained. I am Professor, I know the lesson, you are student. You will know s00n, okay thanks."
Quote:
Originally Posted by HazelStone101
Jayden was in complete shock. First numbers. And then weird homework. And now Beards.
BEARDS....
.......
Beards.
"Well, Beards can be fancy or braided sometimes, and I know that some women prefer their men to have them... and others not so much... but sir. What do beards have to do with Arithmancy?"
Beaaaaaaards. O.o
"If you were any good at Arithmancy, perhaps you would have been able to predict the use of beards in Arithmancy, meow okay. Please keep listening, yes please thanks."
Quote:
Originally Posted by lemon
Agreed. They were all as dumb as socks, except for H3R and PR0F3SS0R FR3NCH.
Alice of House Jeremy Gryffindor beamed.
"Beards, professor? You have ONE. I see it. On your face. It looks very nice TWODAY. It's groomed nicely. Yes. Okay. Well done. Well done."
She was so getting the hang of this. R3ADY 2 INT3RPR3T TH3 NUMB3RS.
"Yes, okay, well done thank you! Ten points to Jeremy Gryffindor's House!"
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tegz
West looked at Alice. Looked. Stared. Disbelief. Whatever you wanted to call it. And then back at this man called French.
Invisib... what. An invisible number and a multiplier? Which was... what, also invisible?
And bowling and Arithmancy were one and the same? And beards. West's logic aligned brain subsequently imploded. He gamely attempted an answer, hand wavering somewhat.
"They can give girls rashes while snogging." He might've added 'Ascanius wants one' but he wasn't about to throw his mate under the bus like that, who knew what this Professor French might do to Ascanius's face?
"Not the actual beard, no no okay thanks. The beard is just hair. Unless you are allergic to hair, like all known Giants are. It's the fricti0n of you rubbing your face on another. Please no sn0gging in my lesson, I do not like rashes okay yes."
Quote:
Originally Posted by TakemetotheBurrow
"You've got to be careful with facial hair. Beards can make you look wise but they can also make you look just plain silly." Or plain scary, depending. Some people didn't have the faces for beards, y'know. Or the faces for facial hair in general. In that case, you might end up looking like some sort of super villain. *COUGH* Oakey Gunter *COUGH*"Grooming can also be an issue cause food and yeah, not cool." Plus they could catch FIRE. Imagine you FACE on fire. Merlin. "I'm sure yours is perfectly safe, though. Well groomed too."
"Yes, thank you okay! Well done!"
Quote:
Originally Posted by Govoni
"They make guys look older...'Adult' older...and they don't look too comfortable, either. Don't they itch bad?"
Also...for Alexa...because Ves knew her well enough...and she was trying to help. "Woman can grow beards...and mustaches."
"Yes, okay, no not always. That is a matter of your perception, okay yes."
Quote:
Originally Posted by LilFox06
... ... and Jake's lovely input just sent her over the edge. Her head met the desk with a defeated thud. After a few seconds she raised her hand. "I judge people based on the length of their beard. Like... if it's super thin I think they're out to rob a bank or something. And if it's longer than medium, they're homeless. And if it's super long, they're old and probably Santa Claus." Probably.
.....
....
"You are going to d0 very, very well in this class. House Jeremy Gryffindor, as everyone knows, is VERY G1FT3D in the ART of AR1THMANCY. WELL DONE, YES OKAY!"
Quote:
Originally Posted by emjay
What did she have to offer that someone else hadn't already? What more was there to know about beards, really? Finally she raised her hand. "They make fake ones too, you know.. Like wigs.. except for your face.."
"No, not today okay thanks. Real beards for today, for real predictions and interpretations okay yes."
Quote:
Originally Posted by Anna Banana
Back to beards... "There's six letters in the word B-E-A-R-D-S," she said, raising her hand. Although at this point, she doubted it even mattered if she raised her hand or yelled the answer while turning a cartwheel. "...and only five letters in the word B-E-A-R-D. That's one even number and one odd."
"Oh yes, yes yes okay well done! Write that down, consider it's meaning, and interpret your results!"
Quote:
Originally Posted by noodles
“Professor, YOU have a beard.” He pointed out, eyebrow raised ever so slightly. “And only a real man can grow one.”
Flattery and facial hair.
Oh and..
“And they're good coverup if you don't have much of a chin.”
Yea..? Yeaah?
"Oh no no no thanks, okay please. Not today. Today everyone will grow a beard, fake men, women, children, and everyone else. All beards, all today, yes okay thanks. All chins, present and not, yes okay thanks will be covered well done."
Quote:
Originally Posted by Unalii
Taylor stared at the professor. Is he crazy or something? Tay wrote the homework down and just sighed, raising her hand, "A beard, sir? What does that have to do with Arithmancy?" She looked at him confused but continued, "A beard is facial hair that can be any natural color and there are many different styles..."Yeah, not important to numbers in any shape or way...
"You have not been told. You should wait for lesson to come about okay yes, please?"
Quote:
Originally Posted by HOPEendures
Err...Jezz wrote down her homework still confused and it didn't stop there. Beards. They were going to talk about beards. It was Arithmancy. Numbers. They should be discussing numbers. She took a calm and steady breath. Beards. What did she know about beards? She raised her hand, "People grow beards at different ages. Some younger, some older." At least her answer involved beards and a hint at numbers.
"Naturally, yes that is well done good job. But today, all ages at the same time will grow a beard, yes okay."
Quote:
Originally Posted by Princesspower
Sarah was getting bored with the zeros, s it was she was writing it out as joke. When Tora first started Sarah thought the claw was being serious, yet that wink relaxed her. This was all for fun.
"Actually, I think the people who have more intellect should do the talking," eyes West, unless the teacher made him a selective mute. "This is democracy, all need to have a say, just like you can speak, I can speak. The power of speech is what seperates us from animals, as animals cannot talk, make different sounds like humans can. I was granted to gift of speech,, why should I not use it?" Put her head down, "actually, I am over my anaemia and I don't need rest. Besides, if I put my head down I would miss out the entertainment this class is giving?" On the migraines. "true migraine have genetic predispositions, put I think I am doing okay. Beside, I am from the house of GODRIC Gryfindor, a house which has been around way before Jeremy Gryffindor was born, so I don't need to worry about that. But if I meet someone from the house of Jeremy Gryffindor, I will let them know"
WHAT!!!!!! "I presume that as a professor in this subject you would know the true origins of the subject. Arithmancy is based on Hebrew Gematria using the latin version. But the Hebrews did have beards, so if you needed something from Arithmancy to base your lesson on beards, you could have stuck with the original Hebrew. She said. She would have been okay if an Arithmancy professor did not know his HoM well, (although the Hogwarts houses should have been included in preparations to teach there), but to not know ARITHMANCY!
"Actually, some women can have beards depending on how much masculine genes they have, each person have both, with the more dominant type of genes determining their gender. There has been bearded woman in the past. That being said, males do more commonly have facial hair and usually the way they present it differs depending on culture, locale and religion. Some men have straight beards, other have curly. Dumbledore had a really long beard. Also some people's beard colour is different to the colour on the skull, for example my brother has brown hair on his head, yet when his beard grows, it grows red". That being said, Sarah thought that only married men should let their beards grow. Beards are a sign of maturity.
"You are D1STRACT1NG MY CLASS. This is not a D3M0CRACY. This is my lesson, you will talk less, and you will L1ST3N MOR3, YES OKAY THANKS. You have learned N0THING so far. Your jaws must be tired. Rest them, for us all please okay thanks. You are disapp0inting your Housemates! I can 0nly take so many interruptions. ONE more and there will be c0nsequences yes yes okay!!"
Quote:
Originally Posted by PotterHeadforLife
What about facial hair did they know? How was she supposed to know? Did it look like the Head Girl had a beard or a mustache? Kat raised her hand. "They're supposed to be itchy. Is your beard itchy, Professor?" It was an important question anyway, which held important information. She wanted to know. Feed the curious ones.
"My b3ard doesn't have feelings. Hair does not feel, okay yes."
Quote:
Originally Posted by fanficfanatict
"Professor, a proper, adult beard can develop at any time, but its more common to develop to skill to grow one between the ages of seventeen and twenty, yeah? 'Course many do develop them earlier if their testosterone levels are high enough, which is common with athletes." And he was one of them. Smirk. "Also, the beginnings of facial hair, not beards, can begin as early as eleven, but it typically occurs 'round fourteen, fifteen, sixteen. The stubble, yeah? Oh...and they are synonymous with manliness." What? He had done his research.
So what if the guy was an idiot? And he was big time. If he could give him any insight on how to rock a beard, Ascanius would pay attention.
"Many will develop a beard today, right now yes okay thanks!"
--
"As everyone knows, beards are pr3dominantly grown by MEN. This, in turn, makes them BETTER ARITHMANCERS. I am so sorry ladies, but it is true okay yes, just true. Unless you are, of course, one of those naturally beard-growing females, then yes okay. I want 3V3RYONE to be good Arithmancers, so EVERYONE gets a b3ard TWOday! For today's activity, you will all N33D a BEARD. Since none of you have ONE, I have provided potion for you. This potion, ONCE consumed, will grow a beard onto your face. You will be bearded. You will need a beard for the activity."
Professor French held up a LADLE and a STACK OF CUPS, then placed them on either side of the cauldron onto the table.
"Please okay, form an orderly line here. You will need to fill ONE cup with this potion, DRINK IMM3DIATELY, throw away your cup, and return to your seat. ONE FULL CUP. Not half, not TWO, not THREE. ONE CUP. DRINK IMMEDIATELY. Your beard will begin growing by the time you return to your seat."
Yes okay thanks? Okay well done.
"There is no pain associated with growing a beard okay yes, please follow my directions. This is n0t optional. You have come to class, okay yes, now participate. Orderly line, just here okay yes."
---
OOC: YES OKAY, have your student come to the front, ladle Beard Growing Potion into a cup, DRINK, and sit back down -- a BEARD *WILL* grow onto EVERYONE'S FACES that consumes the potion. You can decide it's make and model . Amount of potion consumed is proportional to BEARD. So...little potion? Pencil mustache? TOO MUCH? Flood dragging beard? With me? yes okay thanks.
Puff by day, snake by night | Mj's bestie | Always UP to Something...
Sexist much!! Facial hair did not make you better at anything. The man got a glare from Minerva, but the glare didn't stay long when she heard what they were doing. NO WAY was she having a beard twice today... NO.. just NO... She slide down further in her seat. Could she just leave. Yes leave and not do this activity at all. Where was Hadley the woman let a crazy man into her spot. This had nothing to do with number or anything Arithmancy. SHE WAS NOT GROWING ANOTHER BEARD!!!
Staying seating she put her hand up, "Professor I'm sorry but I don't agree that beards make anyone better or that men are better because of it. In this day in age you have to know woman who are better at this subject and do not have a beard." She was allowed her own thoughts and she wanted to voice them. He seemed nice, but man was crazy and she wasn't doing the beard things again.
Asher wasn't sure about this. It saddened him a bit to know that the first beard he would grow wasn't really his. It was kind of a rite of passage...stolen from him. He got up from his seat and a tear feel from his eye. "Great, now I'm crying" he mumbled on his way to the front. It hadn't even made it past the first week of school without crying.
Reaching the front, he gently took a cup and ladled out exactly one cup full. "Here goes nothing" he said before putting the cup to his lips and drinking it up. All of it. He placed his cup in the proper place and slowly worked his way back to his seat.
Asher could feel his face tingle a bit, so he reached up to find hair. Hair on his face! Hair mixed with tears. Then lots of tears and hair. His tears were getting his beard wet. He quickly began mopping up his tears with his robe sleeves, in a poor attempt to keep his crying hidden. Although he wasn't too worried since he was sure everyone in the room already knew he was a crier.
<--- Random | Funfetti | Lima Bean | Slytherpuff | PURPLE | Hoarder of pens | ALWAYS Severus
Merlin. Just Merlin. What was really going on with the whole beard thing? Was Hogwarts always this creepy and she was just now realizing this? Form an orderly line? Did he really think that people were going to be pushing each other out of line to grow a beard? She looked around at her classmates and how she was feeling about this whole little beard game seemed to be mirrored on their faces as well. She wondered briefly if she would go unnoticed if she quietly and QUICKLY ran from this class. Hannah did not do poor appearances and a beard so did not go with her uniform. UGH.
SIGH. SIGH. SIGH.
Apparently there would be no getting out of it so she tried to put on a brave face as she walked up to the line. One full cup. She just had to drink one full cup. She would be able to remove the beard yes? She could do this. She shakily filled her cup up with the evil potion that would make her look like a man. This was unreal. She still couldn't believe that she was willingly giving herself a beard. She wondered what kind of background Hogwarts did before they hired professors because she wasn't so sure about this one. *eyes*
She downed her cup before she lost her nerve and threw away the cup. She hurried back to her seat just in case the whole beard thing came on fast. She didn't want to make eye contact with anyone anymore.
As soon as she returned to her seat she could feel the beard growing. Why was it growing so fast? Would it stop growing? She peeked down and saw that the beard was hot pink with silver glitter. What the. "EEP!" She let out a shriek before she could compose herself. Get it together Hannah. She glared at the professor and waited for further instruction. This was unnecessary!
~ Mrs. Steve Harrington ~ Claimed by Bits ❤️ ~ Queen of Typos ❄ Magical Mosh Pit ❄
Adi STARED at the man. He was so full of himself. Honestly, men were better at Arithmancy just because they had a stupid beard? He snorted. And what was this about a beard growing potion? The girls were gonna have beards too? This he had to see! But again, he doubted the beard stuff here. Girls having beards did NOT change the fact that they were still girls! Plus girls could be just as good as dudes at ANYTHING, as his mom always told him.
Still, the firstie got up and joined the queue for his turn to have a go at the potion. When it was his turn, he ladled out one cupful, of this he made sure and then in one swig he drank it all, threw away the cup and made his way back to his seat. There was some itching on his face; Adi knew the potion was at work. Suddenly it all stopped.
The little badger felt his face and began to grin. He surely had a beard and it reminded of an Indian actor's beard which connected to the mustache above his upper lip.
Uh....what? For Merlins sake. This was some of the most absurd thing she had heard. She was just fine at doing math...without a beard. Beds rubbed her hand over her smooth face and cringed at the idea of having a beard. She was stuck between a rock and a hard place. Grow a beard or potentially end up in trouble.
She stood and she felt herself get tense. "The beard won't be permanent right, Professor?" It would go away in time? She felt panic rising in her chest and as she made her way closer to the cauldron she was almost ready to run out of the classroom. She grabbed her own full cup which shook a little in her hand. This wasn't going to be any fun if the beard never went away because that was what was causing her panic. She didn't want to be stuck with a beard.
Jezz hurriedly drank the potion and then disposed of her cup. Oh this was not good. Her face was becoming itchy and she didn't like it. She stared down at her face and saw the chin hair get longer, stopping just above her waist. It was as black as the night sky with bits of silver here and there. Oh, this was awkward. She sat back down at her seat and scratched her chin. Maybe she should braid it. It wouldn't be so bad braided right? And she began to braid it.
__________________
She Can't Help Herself. Her Mind Won't Slow Down. Watch Out! There's A NEW Ravenclaw In Town.
Kace heard the question about beards. The professor wondered what he knew about them. Kace knew they were itchy when they scratched against your skin. His uncle had one and he did not like it AT ALL. But it would be cool to have one i guess? He was gonna answer but the Professor moved on and he would save his answer for later.
Then he heard they were actually gonna grow beards. Wait a minute. HOLD THE PHONE. They were going to have beards!?!? That is crazy talk! Then he saw the cups of potion. I guess this was really gonna happen. He was hesitant at first to take it and then he saw his buddy Asher doing it. He got up from his seat, went over to the potion, got a cup and ladled a cupful of potion in the cup. Then he went back to his seat and pinched his nose and said, "Here goes nothing...." and then he sipped it.
He felt the bottom of his chin tingle a little bit and then it got intense and then POP! His beard was there. "Woooaaahhh...." he said unable to contain his reaction, he was feeling it and was in awe with it. He did look a little older. He saw a mirror and looked at himself in it. Maybe he could fool his mother with this look.
Little Fox | ˝ of Lauralie | Ravenclaw...?? *overthinks* | #HouseNATARINA
SPOILER!!: 'Professor' French
"That was for you to calculate. Please no cheat1ing in class!"
"And that is probably because I have not yet explained. I am Professor, I know the lesson, you are student. You will know s00n, okay thanks."
---------------------
"As everyone knows, beards are pr3dominantly grown by MEN. This, in turn, makes them BETTER ARITHMANCERS. I am so sorry ladies, but it is true okay yes, just true. Unless you are, of course, one of those naturally beard-growing females, then yes okay. I want 3V3RYONE to be good Arithmancers, so EVERYONE gets a b3ard TWOday! For today's activity, you will all N33D a BEARD. Since none of you have ONE, I have provided potion for you. This potion, ONCE consumed, will grow a beard onto your face. You will be bearded. You will need a beard for the activity."
Professor French held up a LADLE and a STACK OF CUPS, then placed them on either side of the cauldron onto the table.
"Please okay, form an orderly line here. You will need to fill ONE cup with this potion, DRINK IMM3DIATELY, throw away your cup, and return to your seat. ONE FULL CUP. Not half, not TWO, not THREE. ONE CUP. DRINK IMMEDIATELY. Your beard will begin growing by the time you return to your seat."
Yes okay thanks? Okay well done.
"There is no pain associated with growing a beard okay yes, please follow my directions. This is n0t optional. You have come to class, okay yes, now participate. Orderly line, just here okay yes."
Bristol stared at him. Just stared. He was crazy, she was sure .. and evil. How DARE he call her a cheater. There was so much that she wanted to yell at him, like how he expected that to calculate such high numbers and the fact that he hadn't warned them that they would be doing so, so they hadn't had chance to write them down. She didn't yell, though, because she TOTALLY CALM AND HAPPY. See her happy face? Stare. He was Professor and he might know the lesson, but she was student and she wasn't learning anything of use.
Or was that the point?
Merlin knew what beards had to do with math skills. Maybe peoples hid the numbers in their beard. Was she right or was she right? She had the idea ask, but she decided that she'd test it herself, as apparently they were all going to be getting beards. Was this child abuse? This lesson should be illegal, she thought, casting looks around the classroom, trying to catch the eye of Dee or Forrest. She spotted Dee who looked beyond confused and threw her a smile.
Up she got, muttering, "fiiiiiiiine," under her breath and went to collect some potion. What was the worst that could happen? Also, she was still convinced that she would look snazzy in a beard. Soon enough, after minutes of daydreaming about beards, she gotten her potion and downed it. Bristol quickly binned the cup and heading back to her seat, peering down as a small, fluffy brown beard sprouted from her chin.
Raspberry Jam | #ChocolateFrogFamous | Ultimate Fangirl
Quote:
Originally Posted by Professor R. French
"Let's begin with YOU telling M3 how much and what you know about FACIAL hair? B3ARDS to be exact, okay yes. Please be precise. B3ARDS."
This was Arithmancy, right? Or was he dreaming this up? Theo didn't have a problem talking about beards over numbers, though, but a little voice talking about OWLs was nagging him at the back of his head. He raised his hand in good spirits anyway. "I'm getting a few hairs on my chin." Relevant.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Professor R. French
"There is no pain associated with growing a beard okay yes, please follow my directions. This is n0t optional. You have come to class, okay yes, now participate. Orderly line, just here okay yes."
Beards made you better astronomers?!?!!
WHAT?
That explained why he was terrible, then. OBVIOUSLY! Theo went up to the nearest potion, grabbed a small cup and gulped it down immediately. He didn't know about everyone else, but he was excited to try on a beard for size. Because he wanted to grow one when he grew up.
He felt prickles growing on his chin straight away, and they kept going and going and going.
And he LAUGHED when it got even bigger than Professor French's beard. This was fun. Theo returned to his seat, stroking his REAL beard.
It wasn't imaginary anymore.
__________________
who could love me, I am out of my mind___________________________ _________________throwing a line out to sea to see if I can catch a dream
Kimothée Chalamet • The UWU Agenda • Once Baby, Now Trouble • All Growed Up
That was it. Professor French was a weirdo. Who... in the world hired him as their Arithmancy Professor anyway? He was bad enough in History of Magic, and he can't even teach magical numbers to save his life. Kat was pretty annoyed now. Her face wouldn't show it, not with the straight and expressionless face she had, but deep inside she wished she could just walk out of class. Jeremy Gryffindor? Who was that? And Head Girl for beheading house elves? Kat was already thinking if he was the reason why all of the house elves left last term.
...
AND NOW THEY WERE SUPPOSED TO GROW A BEARD. Kat already wanted to scream. She was crying in the inside. She didn't want a beard. It was messy and gross. Kat hid her face with both of her hands and tried to breathe normally. Nope. She didn't want to do this, but she HAD to. She always had to do things she didn't want to do. Waiting for the others to grow their beards, Kat stood up and awkwardly formed a line. She then ladled some beard growing potion (ew ew ew ew ew) and went back to her seat.
STAAAAAAAAARE. "I am going to regret this," she murmured to herself and dipped her pointer finger inside and tasted the potion. Then a strand of hair poked out of her chin, which she immediately hid with her hand. Internal mourning forever.
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When all is going wrong and you're scared as hell..._________________________ _____________________...Maybe a hundred bad days made a hundred good stories
Ascanius Stark was an attractive, put together and exceptionally mysterious, calm person, yeah? And in no way was he currently having a fit about the fact that he was gonna have a beard. Pfft. Not a chance...
...but this was the coolest thing EVER and he was so excited he could have thrown up a bit, which was usually own the by product of Quidditch. Not that he'd ever make Quidditch and facial hair synonymous with one another. Jeez, that would have been bad news.
With a spring in his step and a song in his heart he tried to play off calm to get the potion. It definitely wasn't calm, yeah? But he wanted to pretend.
Eventually he got to the front and slugged back the potion with great enthusiasm. He didn't care that the reason they were doing this made NO sense and the Professor was a loon. Ascanius got a beard.
So when he sat down and the tingling started until he had a beard, the fifth year got all emotional. He was so attractive. Dreamy sigh.
Having a beard did not make you any better or worse in Arithmancy it did NOT. Surely Ariana wanst the best at the subject but she still understood it and could do the arithmancy just fine, without a beard mind you. So she simply refused. At this point she didnt care what professor dude said she was keeping her dignity and she would PROVE that being a GIRL she could and would excel at this ....with out a beard...
Puff by day, snake by night | Mj's bestie | Always UP to Something...
Quote:
Originally Posted by JennMarie
No, No, just NO.
Having a beard did not make you any better or worse in Arithmancy it did NOT. Surely Ariana wanst the best at the subject but she still understood it and could do the arithmancy just fine, without a beard mind you. So she simply refused. At this point she didnt care what professor dude said she was keeping her dignity and she would PROVE that being a GIRL she could and would excel at this ....with out a beard...
#GirlPower
Minerva noticed another girl not budging from her seat. Her best friend.. Oh she could hug the girl. See the only two sane girls in the room were best friends. Yes perfect, because it wasn't the beard growing it was the fact that the man felt girls were not good at this subject and that a beard would make them good. Minerva did not study her behind off all the time to be told she wasn't good at something.
"Professor, why not do a little experiment." Yes this might be the way to go. "You say men or people with beards are smarter, why not test that theory out. Have Ariana and I do no beards, do the lesson and see if we are just as smart as the rest of class with beards." Even if she screwed up in class she still wouldn't have a beard... because been there done that not doing it again.
Baguette | there is no D in my name | TRAITORclaw | Queenie of Narnia
...What? Really? Beards made men better arithmancers? Really. Uh-huh.
Up went her hand again. "Y'know, our previous professor was a woman. She didn't have a beard, and she did good with Arithmancy stuff." Which was obviously why she was a teacher. Meanwhile this guy was a few plums short of a fruit pie, it seemed.
So yeah, Penelope wasn't planning on going along with the potion thing until he gave a better reason on why they were necessary. Instead, she was gonna stare at Ascanius for the time being. He DID look pretty good with a beard, didn't he? Yeah, she approved. And she would continue to stare until it either got creepy or the professor gave a better reason to encourage her to wear a beard. Whichever came first.
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if we fall, we will fall together; and when we rise, we will rise together__________________♥♥♥♥ together we are dangerous; together with our differences; together we are bolder, braver, stronger
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Ar1thmancy I, One, 1 
. 
. Amount of potion consumed is proportional to BEARD. So...little potion? Pencil mustache? TOO MUCH? Flood dragging beard? With me? yes okay thanks.
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