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Old 12-17-2011, 05:59 AM
TeafortheSoul TeafortheSoul is offline
 
quill The Extendable Ear QQ

Welcome to the Extendable Ear!

We've all done it, we've all had that moment where we peruse the RP threads and come across something that is SO funny it makes you spit water at the screen and have to come up with hasty excuses for laughing at your computer. This is the place where those witty little quips, quotes and snippets can be posted for the enjoyment of others! Share the love and the lulz!

Formerly known as Quotable Quips, a place in SS Hogwarts Haven made just for keeping the events/posts that are just too good to lose. There are a few changes to how this thread works starting 2012! Firstly, it will be a per-term thread. Secondly you are not to post your OWN snippets as that is not in the spirit of the RP!
Please remember to abide by the following guidelines or your posts may be deleted.

1. All quotes must come from the School RPG. In the case of students being RPed outside the School RPG, they can still be quoted, just so long as it is the student/school characters. No KA, DA, MoM character quotations here, please.

2. Post only quotes. Comments can be submitted in the chat thread or via private message/visitor messages.

3.Please don't post your OWN character's quotes here. The point is to share some funnies and some love that others come up with. You can include your own character for context but the focus should be on someone ELSE being funny. After all, if you post something funny, someone else can pop it here!

4. In the event that something memorable occurs and it is either a large body of text (more than 6/7 sentences) or a collaboration of multiple posts by multiple people, then please submit it under a textcut or spoiler (you do them the same way!).
textcuts: can be achieved by typing in the following:
[textcut=type something here]place what you wish to share here[/textcut]
Example:
Text Cut: type something here
place what you wish to share here

Have fun and please remember SS rules apply at all times!
Old 09-13-2012, 01:06 AM   #51 (permalink)
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Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I give you Exhibit A:

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mad Eye Touz View Post
Of course Aspen knew his name. He was Gary, he was in a relationship with apples, and he was a Slytherin.

She took her plastic fangs out to speak to him.

"I think water is a boring rocket fuel," Aspen didn't waste time getting right to it. "I want you to throw up in my bottle and we can see if my rocket goes higher. With the acidity of all those apples - how many HAVE you had today? - mixed with the acid from the sodas... Maybe it'll just blow up. But that's more interesting than water."

So. Gary. Puke in this bottle, k? Aspen held her black bottle out to him. "I can help you throw up if you can't on your own."
Clearly, the girl who wears vampire fangs, has a THING for an apple-loving boy, paints her bottle rocket black, names it "the Bat" (reportedly after her own pet bat), and wishes to launch said rocket with vomit for fuel.... is not of the mental health to be held responsible for her own actions. Clearly, she is a little bit insane.

I rest my case. XOXO LUV YA TOUZ <3333 1010101
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Old 09-13-2012, 05:25 PM   #52 (permalink)

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Looks like someone's remembering what it's like to be a kid.
Quote:
Originally Posted by demented_death_eater View Post
The back window looked like a fantastic way to enter the office, even though Apparation would have been preferred. However, the enchantments on the entire school prohibited this one bit of magic that Vindictus found rather useful. Resorting to his old schoolboy tricks, he glanced around to make sure that no one was watching him.

Perfect.

The coast was clear. He approached an ancient oak tree that was near his office and let out a slight giggle as he began to climb it. It's been years since I've scaled this tree! Now where is that vine I saw dangling from one of the sturdy branches? he thought as he reached one of the thicker tree limbs. Ah, there it is! All I have to do is stand up, hang on and swing. This should be long enough and the angle is perfect! And no one can give me detention this time! Ha ha!

Vindictus spent a solid minute studying his target and then took three deep breaths. Suddenly, the Deputy Headmaster burst out of the tree like Tarzan swinging on his vine (more like George of the Jungle, to be honest) and his eyes grew wide as the building and the window became too close for comfort.

The shattering sound of broken glass broke the silence in the air and a loud thump was heard as Vindictus hit the floor of his office with a resounding thud.

"I did not see that one coming," he moaned as he rolled onto his back and watched the stars dance before his eyes. Then he heard one knock and then another.

"YEAH," he called out somewhat incoherently and pulled out his wand to unlock the door. Loud clicking noises were heard as the door magically unlocked itself. "OPEN. IN."

Vindictus moved into a sitting position and sat there in his disheveled state with a goofy grin on his face.
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Old 09-19-2012, 04:14 PM   #53 (permalink)

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Elijah the shirtless wonder in Tranfiguartion
The hobo had spoken and she was maaaaaaaaaddddddd. She began on him first, insisting he put on a shirt right away. Hmph. It wasn't HIS fault that he had become shirtless. It was all Oakey. What if he pec flexed Magnus? Would she faint too? Then he could escape?

.....

Oh well, at least he could be satisfied in the thought that no one else in Hogwarts history was likely to have had points deducted as a result of making Prefect's faint from a pec flex.
just your typical day in a Professor Magnus lesson
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Old 09-20-2012, 02:35 PM   #54 (permalink)
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Default I literally LOLed

Quote:
Originally Posted by Droo View Post
Broken bones and severe sprains?! Because the train stopped?! This was insane. If she'd been Head Girl herself she'd have left the students who fell and hurt themselves behind. Survival of the fittest...

... but as much as she hated admitting it. Groundskeeper Willie here, was right. They should have helped.

... was the no setting students on fire rule still on?
Click the arrow to read the whole post... I just left the funny parts in... hahaha

Groundskeeper Willie...
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Old 09-20-2012, 09:34 PM   #55 (permalink)


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Default Aspen Odessa FTW!
Zombie Apocalypse Team Leader ★ ★ in a crown of pepperoni and artisan cheese

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mad Eye Touz View Post
Huh.

Hehe. Aspen thought ... the whole curse thing? HILARIOUS.

But she didn't find the glare at baby brother all that funny. Low light or not, Aspen's SENSES picked up on the DARK intentions towards her brother.

She would literally slay the Head Girl. Literally.

So, with a WHOLE OTHER type of "Dark Creature" in mind (YOU, Louisa!), Aspen got her wand out, pointed it silently at the Head Girl from within the sleeve of her robe, and ... might have set the Head Girls shoelaces on fire a little.

Just a little.

Just the foot she had on the ground. Aspen didn't want to burn her leg off or anything.

Nothing to squawk at. Just a little fire on her shoe. The Head Girl WAS talking about Inferi. It was a practical lesson, see? And now? Now she'd know Aspen was WATCHING HER.

Hopefully not the Professor though. Aspen pulled her hood tighter and her wand and hand deeper into her robes.
Those Odessas....Gotta watch out for them and their trickery.

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Old 09-21-2012, 01:25 AM   #56 (permalink)
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Default From this term's first detention!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Harry174 View Post
"Professor Hadley, Headmistress." Laura looked at them and sighed. "I'll do anything, you can hang me by my thumbs in the dungeon, you can set Professor Lafay and Healer Tillstorm on me." see that is how desprate Laura was to get away from Alexa. "Just say I don't have to try and get Alexa to listen to me." Laura sighed because there was one thing she was sure about and that was no matter what she did Alexa wouldn't listen to her.
Quote:
Originally Posted by BanaBatGirl View Post
"Laura, thank you for sharing that. Good answer. Five points to Hufflepuff."

That's right. She DID just earn points in detention. First time that had probably ever happened...
Quote:
Originally Posted by DaniDiNardo View Post
"I can't sit on that. My daddy makes sure I'm comfy before he starts scolding me." POUT.
How have these NOT been quoted here yet?!
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Old 10-11-2012, 02:50 PM   #57 (permalink)

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Princesspower View Post
Sarah nodded as she took the instructions internally. She selected a ‘k’ shaped cookie cutter, a ‘J’,’S’,’P’,’b’, ‘A’ and ‘E’ shaped one as we as a butterfly, a heart and a man. Took some dough that Kurumi had rolled out and placed it in front of her. Eying all the goodies around Sarah said “with all this free and good stuff around I think I will need a coracle to transport it”. Then she said, “mind you, I will make a coracle”. She reached into her pockets and drew out her wand and a stick. Then casting the spell she had learnt in transfiguration she made a coracle. “see, it always helps to come prepared” she said, showing a garbage bags she had brought just in case someone (i.e. Elijah) needed a shirt. She then stuffed them back in her pocket[/B]
Sarah Edwards...we love you so
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Old 10-11-2012, 07:34 PM   #58 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Droo View Post
She placed her things down on the desk, turned and sat down on it, crossing her legs in her tight long black skirt.

She stared at him for a few moments not saying a word.

She REALLY wanted to set the boy on fire... why was it that she couldn't again?

... right.

It was wrong.

"I'll give you five points back if you tell me why I called you here?" She asked and glared at the boy.
Need I say anymore?
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Old 10-27-2012, 09:54 PM   #59 (permalink)

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LMAO can we talk about this? Because it's great.

Quote:
Originally Posted by demented_death_eater View Post
Vindictus tried to ignore the pounding as he practiced his serious poses in the mirror. "Yes, I like this one. And this one," he said to himself and leaned with his hand resting in his chin. "This is a tough decision."

But the pounding was louder and he caught a few words that came through the door. Locked out? Odd. He got up and strode over to the door, throwing it open. "Are you telling me that the smartest students in the school are STUMPED by the new riddle?" he asked in a disbelieving voice and a gust of cold wind hit him in the face. Merlin, it was cold outside!
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Old 11-19-2012, 11:58 PM   #60 (permalink)


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Here's this gem from our dear Headmistress in the Spirit Room (bolded the parts I found amusing:


Quote:
Originally Posted by BanaBatGirl View Post
Only half-listening to the students, Anastasia had been about to pin the brooch to her jacket when her ears finally absorbed what they were trying to tell her.

"WHAT?" she exclaimed, dropping the brooch back on the floor and pricking her finger in the process. She brought the bleeding pinprick to her mouth and frowned, her large blue eyes moving from student to student as they spoke. "My brooch has GHOSTS in it now?!"

What was UP with the Other World always trying to ruin her life? Ughhhhhhh! She HATED ghosts!!!! And they knew that, too!! All these dumb ghosts --- Myrtle, Isfret?, Peeves, the Grey Lady--- WHATEVER! They probably deserved to be sucked away! If only she had a vacuum that could suck all the ghosts in the world up up and away.... if only.


But back to the weird, creepy takeover plot, as Sierra had said. "Why?" was all the Headmistress could say, complete with a delicate shrug of her shoulders. "I got the brooch in Egypt..." she momentarily avoided everyone's eyes and instead stared at the object in question, as though staring at it would unlock its secrets. "It looked expensive but was marked really low.... you could call it a real steal for the open-air market... it had some um runes on the back, but I didn't really pay attention to those....I don't know if they're still there or not."

She hadn't really noticed them when she'd picked it up again. Huh, imagine that. The redhead took a few cautious steps closer to the brooch, which Hollyberry was twirling for some reason. Weird girl. "Stop that," she flapped her hand at her. "You might be making the ghosts feel ill."

Snort. As if she cared what the ghosts felt like at the moment. "Tell me more about this Isfret, if you can," the redhead asked as she flicked her wand into her hand and pointed it at the brooch. She looked up and over at the Head Girl. "And what's with all the pets?"
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Old 11-27-2012, 01:38 AM   #61 (permalink)
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This had ME laughing. Bwaaaaaaaaahahahahahaaaaaaa Selina's been SPOT ON all along.

Quote:
Originally Posted by fanficfanatict View Post
Selina still wanted to go down to the kitchens. She had been standing there as all of her peers tried to figure out how they were going to handle this delicate situation with the runes, but they were really getting no where. The rune was NOT important. The important thing, as she had said before, was making sure everyone was safe. But no, they were just going to sit in the library and wait like a bunch of sitting ducks after Myrtle had left them KNOWING they were coming here. Yes, it was as stupid as it sounded.

The sixth year was a Gryffindor, which meant that she was brave, but she was not blindly stupid. They needed to get some adults to handle this... not a bunch of idiot, student, lackys. They had Puffers for that. Everyone needed to get to safety. But NOOO the library was where it was at... ugh.

This was a really bad idea.

And, she hated to say it, but Selina had been right. She had TOLD everyone they had to get out of harm's way, but they had not listened to her. Instead, they had chosen to lure a ghost with two of their male captains, go out in plan sight so the ghosts could find them AND be very vocal about bringing the bad guy down. It was seriously a bad muggle movie and you know what they always sad about who went first- yep, the dumb one.

OH AND LOOK AT THAT!

Milton had just gotten taken.

They were doomed.
Emphasis by moi.
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Old 12-03-2012, 05:00 AM   #62 (permalink)

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Quote:
Originally Posted by The Bunz
The Baron likely had his reasons for being there, and he wouldn't bug her with questions about her students/plants/husband/children/Henry/etc. the way a ghost of Marion would.

Er, may she rest in peace.
And in two sentences, we have all the personality summary we will ever need of Bunz. PERFECTION.

But just in case we needed it, we get this:

Quote:
Originally Posted by MOAR BUNZ
Annie was only half-finished with her second cupcake by the time the Quidditch Cup was finally presented, but she stuffed the rest of it into her mouth anyway. What, no one was watching her. It wasn't like her mother was around anymore to nag her about table manners and all that jazz.

......

Heimlich... Heimlich... she was going to need help, because she felt like she was chok--- oh nope, the cupcake went down just fine. The Headmistress swallowed and shook her head at Vindictus. Silly man.
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Old 12-09-2012, 07:54 PM   #63 (permalink)
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This was from a few terms ago, but I was re-reading these posts again after stumbling upon them and wondered why we never QQ'd it. Thought it was pretty cute/sweet.

SPOILER!!: K.M & L.C's farewell for Hadley
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kaos.Doodles

The Disillusionment Charm was really amazing. Legend had been hiding out for about 30 minutes, just waiting for Hadley to slip and leav her room. Just as he was about to give up, the Arithmancy Professor made her way out, but not before locking the door.

This probably would be called trespassing, or breaking and entering, but Legend didn't care.

It was for a good cause right?

Carring the two items in his hand, Legend waited until he could no longer hear Hadley's footsteps before taking out his wand. "Alohomora." Click. The door unlocked easily enough. Really, the Professors probably needed something stronger to lock doors with if they were at a school where they taught magic to kids.

He pulled the door open, just wide enough so that he could slip inside. Quickly Legend placed the nicely wrapped package in the middle of her desk before placing the journal on top. He gazed around for a few seconds before opening the journal up so that Hadley could read the small note that was left on the first page right away.


SPOILER!!: The Note

Dear Professor Hadley,

From our Fourth year when you arrived at Hogwarts to teach us Arithmancy through to our Seventh year, you have been a great teacher; You have taught us, pushed us to do our best when you knew we could do better and encouraged our dreams - Even if some were crazier than others. We want to thank you, and let you know how much we really did appreciate your guidance during our time at school. Although I can't say the same for Legend, it's because of you that I have decided to further my education (in Arithmancy, particularly) on the side while I persue my goals in life.

Unlike Katie (this is Legend now obviously), I have not decided to do any education with Arithmancy cause really, that is just mad. But without you Hadley I probably would despise the subject so much. Now I just don't mind it! Although you may not know it, you are the professor I share the most memories with. After all, you did give me my first detention, and you've probably are the person who did the majority of my point deductions. I don't mind though, that just made my journey at Hogwarts more entertaining. So because of all you did for us, of course we wanted to get you something to remember us by. Just don’t forget who your favourite students are! (we KNOW we are)

Goodbye Professor Hadley,
Love, Katie Mae & Legend Chosen

P.S the gobblestones are antique, yeah, we care that much. dont lend them to some first year



Once he was sure that everything was set in place, Legend gave the office a small sad smile. "Later.." Really it was just an office...but he would still miss it. Turning he left the office and locked the door.

Everything was set.
Quote:
Originally Posted by PhoenixRising

After deciding on a quick escape to the Great Hall for a snack to motivate her to finish up marking the last couple assignments, Hadley unlocked her office again. But immediately her eyes shot toward her desk where there was something new. A gift and a notebook on top? Who? Oh but that meant someone had broken into her office in the ten minutes she'd been gone!

Horrified, her hazel eyes glanced around the room to see that nothing was taken and then outside the door for the culprit. She hadn't noticed suspicious behavior, but then again, she hadn't really been paying attention either.

Shrugging it off, the Arithmancy Professor approached the desk cautiously and picked up the notebook. Opening it to the first page, she blinked at the words that filled it. And before she could help herself, a single teardrop rolled down her cheek and onto the page. Breathing suddenly became work.
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Old 01-04-2013, 03:34 PM   #64 (permalink)
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I spotted something.. funny at the staff table

Quote:
Originally Posted by Annie
Whilst waiting for the groundskeeper to reply, Anastasia coolly turned her gaze to the latest arrival to her side of the table.

"Dash." She gave him a pointed look. NO HELLOS FOR HER?
and what did Dash Scabior respond?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dash!
Catching his name from his right side, Dash turned his head, away from Lafay, to see the redhead's glare on him as if he had done something wrong. Which he hadn't. "Annie!" His voice rose, yet it was still dull and lacking any interest. "How nice to see you over there, so far away!" What did she want? Did she really want to have a conversation with him across three other people?
how... sarcasm
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Old 01-04-2013, 08:44 PM   #65 (permalink)
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What happens when the new Groundskeeper shows up to the feast in a kilt? This is what happens.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Droo View Post
She reached for water, and drank some, calming her coughing. "I'm fine. Thank you." And she nodded to him in thanks. "It was the tea... it went down the wrong way." She said... yup... the new groundskeeper in his kilt had nothing to do with it... nothing...

... Now she knew what to buy Alexander for Christmas.


"How was your summer, Dash?" She asked.
red by me for emphasis hehe
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Old 01-05-2013, 06:14 AM   #66 (permalink)
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Again, in Staff table

Quote:
Originally Posted by Professor Hadley!
Aw! Her new meal-mate had to be the SWEETEST wizard ever! Seriously! But she mentally warned herself not to get attached to either of the two who sat next to her - speaking of which, where was the new Astronomy Professor? Distracted by some starry night that he forgot to attend the opening feast? Shrugging it off, she smiled at the way he touched his hand to his heart, before extending it out to her. "Pleased to meet you, Professor Botros. Or may I call you Abraham or Abe?" Or hubby, but she kept that one to herself for now.

Wait. What?!? The man even remembered his Character Number? "Be-still my heart ... you masterful leader ....... will you marry me?" Of course that latter bit was joking .... or was it?
I guess Professor Hadley had a crush with Professor old man Botros
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Old 01-07-2013, 04:54 PM   #67 (permalink)


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And even more awesomeness from the staff table, this time from our new Astronomy professor:


Quote:
Originally Posted by sweetpinkpixie View Post

Finally settling into his seat and relaxing his shoulders a bit, Airey found that

Oh! There was someone talking to him! HEEEEEEEEEEEEEY! Airey's head snapped around and he looked at the attractive blonde women waving at him from a little down the table. He returned the way with just a little more vigor and enthusiasm along with a rather big grin. "Airey Flamsteed, Astronomy," he greeted back, still with the somewhat overly confident grin on his face. Good thing he had worn his favorite and best suit tonight. But then his face fell and he tried his best to cover his slight look of SHOCK on his face when he heard not only the rubbish subject she taught but that it also implied that the person who he shared a tower with and had the living standards of a troll was... "Calista, nice to meet you."

Could he offer to clean her part of the tower?

He was even going to do so when she asked about the box he had with him. "Oh, this?" he said as he tapped the box and removed the lid. "I picked up some steak tartar at this small muggle supermarket on my way here." Had been right next to the dry cleaners. He had been a bit surprised by how cheap it had been actually...but muggles were always surprising him. He opened the box and took out one of the cans and tried not to shiver at the company's chosen mascot character. Felines...fur...UUUUG! Glancing back at the Divination professor, he slid one of the cans down the table to her. "Muggles call it Fancy Feast because it makes all feasts more fancy," he said, trying to sound like he actually knew what he was talking about. "Very smart of them to label it so simply, don't you think?" Honestly, muggles were simply fascinating!

Speaking of which...which one of these people was the Muggle Studies professor? He had a book list of questions to ask them.

He was about to suggest she go ahead and try some now - because he was rather curious about the flavor himself - when the Headmistress stood and gave her speech. Pushing the box to the side again, he gave the woman her full attention and then some and tried to resist bouncing a little in his seat. Yes, he would be sticking with water at this feast. No more coffee or sugary drinks unless they wanted him literally bouncing off the walls of the castle.

When he heard the name of the late Astronomy professor, he lowered his head and gave a moment of silence. He had not been anything more than an acquaintance of the woman, but had spoken with her on occasion due to her stargazing interest and occasional publication she submitted to the Royal Astronomical Society, but it was a tragic thing nonetheless.

And then he heard his name, which caused him to quite literally jump to his feet and nod his head first towards the Headmistress and then towards the tables of students. Students like he had once been, which is why he sent a knowing smirk towards the Gryffindor table before sitting down again.

Offering his slightly over enthusiastic applause to whoever Professor Scabior was at the staff table, Airey grabbed his fork and knife in anticipation for the coming meal and was not disappointed. Brought him right back to his Hogwarts days.

"Oooooh," he whispered in excitement when he noticed the small basket of plain crackers that had appeared. Why yes, these would go lovely with this canned tartar. Grabbing a can from the box and removing the lid, he wrinkled his nose slightly at the smell. Was this what tartar smelled liked? He had never had it before so he wouldn't know. Then again, there were loads of smelly foods that ended up tasting delicious.

Spooning himself a rather large helping of the tartar onto the cracker, he quickly popped it into his mouth without a second thought.

"SPOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Coughing, gasping and gagging up a storm, Airey turned to his right and promptly spit the contents of his mouth out...and onto the woman sitting next to him. Not realizing this just yet, he grabbed the can to look for an expiration date on it. WHY would muggles sell him spoiled tartar?!

Legen-wait for it-dary!

Also worth a read, various professors responses to our new Deputy Headmaster.......
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Old 01-08-2013, 09:55 AM   #68 (permalink)

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I thought this was just hillarious!

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Originally Posted by CassiopeiaAKTF View Post
The Slytherin raised his arm in the air and waved his hand to get the old man's attention. "Professor Bo..."what was his name again?!.... Bomos? ...bofos?

"Botox!" yeah that sounded about right~ "Rune means letter or script but it can also mean secret" why? He had no idea!
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Old 01-18-2013, 08:09 AM   #69 (permalink)

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Let's all just talk about this for a second:

Quote:
Originally Posted by Anna Banana View Post
Okay, can she just be the first to say...this guy was weird. Not weird in a bad way, but weird in a 'were you once a Hufflepuff' kind of way. In other words, Sierra wasn't too sure if the guy was going to annoy her or not. She'd just have to wait and see.

She was actually surprised to see him standing, too. The only other time she'd seen him, he'd been sprawled across the floor in Defense class. She gave him a grin and said, "Hello, Professor." With the necessities out of the way, Sierra headed further into the classroom and joined the others.
Emphasis by me.
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Old 01-24-2013, 05:52 AM   #70 (permalink)

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I just want to put Melanie in a box and keep her forever, okay?!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Melanie in Professor Flamsteed's office
Melanie nodded her head. That was a smart thing to do... keep all the tea in one box... maybe she could do that at home... when she had enough kinds of tea. "I think it's hard to dislike tea. Tea's too nice," Melanie said, taking a sip of her tea. Ah... it wasn't as hot now. "Tea is like a giant, warm hug for your insides." Which just made tea so much more perfect.

... Right. That sounded really smart and professor-like. Melanie just took another sip of her tea and glanced at the covers of the magazines again. Pretty things shouldn't be so confusing.

The Gryffindor watched as the professor got up and walked towards the pink house. She held her cup in both hands, watching him. She really did wonder what was living in there if it wasn't a turtle. And... what was the professor doing? Melanie just took another sip of her tea, trusting that the professor knew exactly what he was doing. Because professors were smart; adults were supposed to be smart... so clearly he was doing somethin-

A rock?

She tilted her head slightly to the side when she saw the rock and took a loooong drink of her tea. "Pebbles looks very pretty," Melanie said, smiling. A very pretty rock. She supposed having a pet rock was smart though - it wasn't as messy and didn't have to eat. At least... Melanie didn't think that rocks needed to be fed. Oh. Were they going for a walk? "I would like that~ Has Pebbles seen the grounds yet?" Melanie asked, grinning now. Did rocks grow with extra sun? Because then Pebbles would need to find a sunnier place. How did rocks grow...?
&

Quote:
Originally Posted by Melanie in the Pathways
"So, how old is Pebbles?" Melanie asked when they had reached the pathways. Was that rude though? The professor had referred to Pebbles as a she... and it was rude to ask a lady her age, right? Melanie's mind was just muddled from the stairs. There was an awful lot of stairs between the tower and the outside world. The school needed slides instead.

It was probably best to not kick any pebbles she saw on the ground... it might offend the pet rock if she did so.
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Old 02-01-2013, 02:56 AM   #71 (permalink)

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Ravenclaws+corridors+Glacius+hockey = complete hilarity

Seriously, go stalk it all there on the 7th floor...but here is the most recent sample ::
SPOILER!!: Dustin & Milton
Quote:
Originally Posted by cake.ninjak View Post
Dustin had been minding his own business, making his way down from the Ravenclaw Tower when he heard a racket. Naturally, his first instinct was to head toward it. Protip: Dustin would NEVER survive in a horror movie (but lolol what are those anyway? we r wizards).

When he happened upon the corridor, he immediately noticed that there was a giant...uhh....THING heading straight at the Captain. Knowing his affinity for being knocked out at the most INCONVENIENT TIMES (Dustin was convinced it was on purpose due to performance anxiety), Dustin immediately shouted to warn the older kid. "MILTY, WATCH OUT!!"

He started to run toward Cap'n, but the situation appeared dire, and his little legs were much too small. Also, his thoughts happened to slow him down a bit. MILTY?! Where the heck did that come from? That sounds like milky. Like milky way. Speaking of milky way, I like that Astronomy guy. He's funny.

Poor Milton never had a chance. But HEY! Dustin was getting kind of hungry and the thought of milk made him want cereal.
Quote:
Originally Posted by sarahlooo View Post
Yes, Milton was JUST getting ready to block the shot, when he suddenly got distracted by a smaller figure heading towards them. "Oh, hey Dustbi-"

Huh? Watch out for wha-

CLANG! The helmet smacked RIGHT into Milton's head.

THUD! And the Captain was down once again. A few months into school and he was already knocked out. This must have been some sort of trend for Milton, huh?
Quote:
Originally Posted by cake.ninjak View Post
Dustin watched in slow motion as the helmet connected with Milton's noggin and the Ravenclaw Cap'n went down for the count. He gasped and covered his mouth, eyes practically popping out of his head. "NO! NOT AGAIN!" he squealed.

Dustin rushed over to Milton as fast as his little legs would take him and immediately leaned over the boy and slapped his face lightly to try to wake him up.

"UGH, STUPID! You did it again!" he shouted at the unconscious body laying on the floor. In a fit of frustration, he punched Milton in the arm.

Well, there was no use trying to wake him up now. He seemed to be out cold. He remembered that one of his goals was to actually MEET people, and he remembered that he had never actually talked to the other boys present before.

"Uh.....hi, everyone. I don't think we've formally met, although I know you two," he said, addressing Marcus and Rawdon, "are on the quidditch team. Ummm....well, I'm Dustin." He didn't offer his hand to shake though...he still didn't do that. Hands were gross.

He smiled politely and widely and then looked back down at Milton. "So what do we do with him?"


THIS TOO
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cassirin View Post
"Oh, they have to kiss you first? You can't kiss them?" Mo was not a fan of waiting. He might not even be a fan of kissing, but he was definitely not a fan of being the last to try something out. Probably even Theo was kissing girls now too, and that made Mo the odd man out. A baby, probably.

"Twins means two," he held up two fingers, but Milton seemed to have passed on all the information he was going to pass on. Time to get back to it, and since the other boys were now distracted with their hockey game (which they had NOT invited him to join), Mo went back to one of the slushier spots in their ice rink to continue practicing.

Maybe he could melt it back to water, and freeze it more slowly to get ice that was perfectly smooth and clear. Then people wouldn't see it as they were walking and would whooooooosh straight down the hall. "Chaudensis," Mo spoke the incantation clearly, pointing at a patch of ice that was hazy and rough. Someone fell on that, they'd get really hurt!

The ice melted as the air heated above it, leaving a puddle of water behind. Mo crouched to give the puddle a very up close and personal look. Listen up, puddle... freeze and do it right this time! "Glacius." The ice froze slowly, smooth and clear and perfect.
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Old 02-06-2013, 03:19 AM   #72 (permalink)


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*dies* guys can i just.... *points* Apparently this is what we do at practice guys ...........The Slytherin Quidditch Team For Ya.

SPOILER!!: slytherin quidditch practice everybody
Quote:
Originally Posted by THE Govoni View Post
Scoreboard
Silver Ninja - 1
Saraie - 2
JennMarie - 2
Tegz - 4

It was a COLD morning when Dylan decided to call a random practice but that was hardly an excuse for the turn out. The Sixth Year Captain waited for a few minutes past the appointed time, but when it was clear nobody else was going to show up, he turned his attention to those that were shivering in front of him; that little firstie Tillstorm, Romalotti, and Logan.

“Alright, get up in the air.” He mounted his own broom, Quaffle under his arm, and flew over to the hoops. With his mood soured by the poor turnout, he was interested to see what the over-all performance would be like...Not that he was going to over exert himself, it was just a good viewpoint to watch how they worked together. Seeing they were ready he tossed the Quaffle high and then blew his whistle, letting it fall to hang around his neck as he watched that initial scrimmage for possession.

Romalotti caught it neatly and darted forward and took a wild shot, which Dylan caught with practiced ease...and then he snorted.

“Come on, you can do better than that.” He tossed it back in and a determined Romalotti caught it again, but nearly lost his grip when Ariana Logan flew directly at him, an early game of chicken, which freed Little Tillstorm up to zip between Logan and Romalotti snatching the Quaffle. She took a shot, and Dylan was pleased when it went through the top hoop, though he hadn’t really tried all that hard to stop it, it was more interesting watching Ariana and Asher facing off. “Stop trying to snog him and get in the game, Logan!”

Tillstorm fetched the Quaffle with a mischievous expression at the outrage on Logan’s face, and tossed it up high, cutting off Romalotti’s protests that he had a girlfriend. Instead he caught the Quaffle one-handed and charged toward the hoops, with Ariana chasing him in determination. He tossed it at Dylan’s face. Dylan ducked and grinned. Asher was finally getting his head in! “That’s more like it!” Little Tillstorm had apparently gotten distracted trying to catch snowflakes on her tongue, but Logan looked to be plotting something. He didn’t trust that look on her...He didn't trust her, period.

Dylan hefted the Quaffle, looked at his team and then threw it hard and high. Romalotti and Logan were going at it again, all elbows and determination to make the starting line-up for the first game. Asher got there first but celebrated too early, shooting a triumphant look at Ariana that just amped her determination higher, and she darted in and snatched it roughly. Dylan was laughing so hard that he didn’t even try to block the Quaffle as it flew neatly through the left side hoop. She got the next one too, giving Asher a look that spoke volumes.

Logan, sassy finger snaps for you.

Goal or no goal, it was clearly not cutting it for Ariana and she swooped down to grab her beaters bat. With a sigh Dylan dropped down too, to fetch the Quaffle and loose a Bludger. Just one. One was enough. Sierra wasn’t here to herd the other and he didn’t want his team in the hospital wing before the game had even started...because that would've been...unfortunate.

He threw the Quaffle up and Tillstorm and Romalotti went for it but were scattered like bowling pins a moment later when Logan smacked her first Bludger. Was that a cackle? Sounded like a cackle. Where was the Quaffle? Before he’d even blinked, there was West. When had he even shown up? Quaffle casually snatched by fingertips, the Third year looped it underarm through the left-side goal.

“Sup.” He didn’t offer any excuses, just beamed. Right. Dylan tossed the Quaffle back in and watched while Odessa led the others on a merry goose chase.

“Don’t get cocky Odessa!” He yelled out and sure enough Romalotti and Logan worked together to foil their teammate, Ariana thwacking the Bludger toward the third year, and Asher snatching the Quaffle and making it another goal. He was a right sneaky one.

A sleepy looking West rubbed his eyes and with a determined look picked up his game, dodging Ariana’s nasty Bludgers and getting the next several goals in quick succession, after working on some passing with Asher. It was only one-half of his Terror Twins...but the impact was undeniable.

Finally blowing his whistle to end the scrimmage, Dylan landed waiting for the others to join him, and when they did, he gave them all secretive smiles. They were stars. The lot of them. "Things to work on...Logan, stop getting so worked up." Brows. "It's making you sloppy. Romalotti, same for you. Focus on your target...and shoot with efficiency." Tough love, mate. "Tillstorm...General focus....and Odessa...Tardiness." Taking a deep breath, the Slytherin smirked. Other than minor things, they were shaping up well! "Off to the showers with you."

This Post-Scrimmage Drabble was written by Tegz, with edits by THE Govoni.

Last edited by JennMarie; 02-06-2013 at 03:25 AM.
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Old 03-14-2013, 04:16 AM   #73 (permalink)

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some funnies in reference to this in Astronomy

SPOILER!!: thanks for all the laughs guys!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Oesed
Despite not having gotten the right answer, Ezra grinned Flamsteed because he liked his own confidence, too. Besides, maybe his answer wasn't the right one but it technically wasn't wrong either, was it not? Stars and people did have the Milky Way in common.

Speculatively, he eyed the pictures, brushing his chin with the feather of his quill in a distracted fashion as he did so. Some of the people in those pictures looked exactly the same age to Ezra's eyes, but he was pretty sure he could at least get the babies right. Ezra knew a lot about babies.

In his clumsy but relatively legible scrawl, he set to work:

SPOILER!!: Ezra's answers
4: You can tell that's the youngest because that's inside the sack of water, which means he's not even born yet! It doesn't even look ready to come out yet, look at its eyes!!!!
10: That baby is out of the sack of water (it has a name, I know, but I don't really know it, I think???) but it doesn't look very comfortable with being among the living (or the living that don't live in sacks of water???), so he's got to be a newborn. He also looks like he's ready to cry, and my little sister, when she was a newborn? She cried a lot, too.
2: Definitely doesn't look like it's (she? he? I'd say it's a boy because it's wearing blue, but gran's favourite colour is blue and she's lady???) ready to cry, which probably means it's now used to be outside the sack of water.
3: She looks like she's old enough to sit by herself without needing anyone to prop her up but not old enough to walk. Maybe not even crawl. Hey, I see teeth!
12: Well, he's eating an apple and to eat apples you need most if not all your teeth so he's definitely older than the girl.
11: I was going to say 8 was younger because he looks it, but then, girls also look older than boys, sometimes, so maybe 8 is actually older.
8: Older!
6: I guess he's a teenager. Looks about my other sister's age, actually.
1: Older! actually, she may be my brother's age...
5: Older! But not my brother's age.
9: See above. : )
13: Ancient.
7: Gran, is that you????? I think she may have too many wrinkles to be gran though I'm pretty sure gran has that same dress...
quote=DaniDiNardo]She was going to take the fact that he never responded to mean that even he understood the sensitivity of the stars. That's why she liked Professor Airey. He understood stuff.

Her attention turned to the portraits when they were revealed. Just a whole bunch of different people...not even one alien? How ruuude. Aliens aged too and they actually had more in common with stars than humans did because they all lived in outer space together doing space-y stuff that humans couldn't do for the same reason as the one the Professor gave for them not being able to go to outer space.

Lame.

She eyed each of them curiously as she listened to him explain. Was that all? Pffft, she could do that...or at least attempt to. Details weren't her thing...She pulled out a piece of parchment and her quill.

Alright...let's see...

SPOILER!!: Parchment

4- Come on! It doesn't even look human!
10- It's all wrinkly, pale and funny looking, has to be a newborn which comes right after the alien looking stage.
2- It's not as wrinkly looking but it doesn't look very smart or like it can do much so it'd have to come next. The useless stage where all they do is stare up at you.
3- That one has to be next because it still looks like a dumb baby, only see what she's doing there, grabbing her fingers, means she can grab stuff and be a potential bother.
12- THIS comes next. This one doesn't grab fingers anymore, no it'd much rather grab your stuff and make a mess. Ruuude. Very rude at this stage.
11- She looks like she could be next because she's got that giddy headed smile. You know that one toddlers give you when you try to lecture them but they don't understand much so they just giggle and hope you find it cute enough to let them off the hook--works surprizingly well too.
8- This one almost looks like he's started developing a brain so he goes next. Still not very old. Still has that face like a boy going for him.
6- I know he looks old but not that old, probably just like younger than all the other older people in the portraits so he fits right there.
1- She looks older than my cousin and my cousin looks older than that boy just now which means she also has to look older than the boy making her come next I guess...
5- He's got that look that says 'I'm ready to move out of Mum's basement'. You typically don't get that look until a little later on and that girl earlier didn't have it but he does soooooo, he goes here.
9- She has wrinkles. I can see that. Not like the old man and woman of course but still there which means she couldn't have gone before the other two grown people. See how that works?
13- Um...yeah...it's an old man...I don't think this one needs explaining, does it?
7- She's even wrinklier than the other old person and her smile makes her look like most her teeth are gone. If I had to guess I'd say they are and only reeeeaally old people lose most of their teeth. Plus she's got that giddy look too...that one you get from too many years of reminiscing.


There. Done.[/quote]
Quote:
Originally Posted by lemon
Alice had kind of been spacing out, but once the portraits were revealed.. disappointment. Just a bunch of people? That was it? Boring. What did they have to do with Astronomy, though? Oh. Life cycles. She would attempt the parchment stuff.. but.. y'know, descriptions weren't exactly her forte. So hopefully he didn't expect anything genius from HER of all people, because he wasn't going to get it.

Text Cut: Parchmentttt
4 - This one looks creepy and creepy things are usually little so I'm gonna stick it down here.
10 - It's all wrinkly and red in the face and also creepy. So after the fetus, maybe?
2 - It's not red anymore, so it goes here. I think.
3 - It's not quite yet a toddler, but is on its way to becoming normal-looking.
12 - Toddler! And most definitely normal looking.
11 - Not old enough to get away with drawing on a wall with Everlasting Ink, but old enough to scam Peppermint humbugs out of people.
8 - He looks more intelligent and not too old but not too young.
6 - Teenager? Like old enough to go to Apparition lessons.
1 - Old enough to get an Apparition license?
5 - He's.. he's like.. like young!old. Or something.
9 - She's OLD. Is that a gray hair? I see a gray hair.
13 - Poor bald guy. I'm sure his head was nice before all his hair fell off. But his mustache is cool.
7 - She looks like my gran times three. The kind where their skin resembles a prune and stuff.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cassirin
If there could only be one winner in this contest, Mo had a feeling that he wasn't going to win... people were finishing well ahead of the Ravenclaw, as he spent time studying each picture and making up a story about them. Even the little ickle ones, although the stories for the older ones were way more interesting. Like number 13. He'd definitely been a pirate ninja at one point, before retiring with his wealth to a house boat in Florida.

BUT ANYWAY. He could do this, even if he was one of the last ones to turn it in.

SPOILER!!: In class assignment
Photos in order from youngest to oldest:

4 - fetus. This itty bitty is still being MADE and hasn't even been properly born yet.
10 - newborn. Baby looks all squidgy and squished like a very very newborn does.
2 - baby. Baby is older than a newborn but still too little to be interesting.
3 - toddler. Older than a baby and is starting to walk and talk and have a personality.
12 - preschooler. Probably still talks kinda funny, but old enough to color on the walls and use the toilet properly.
11 - young child. School aged child, so basically her life has ended. No, just kidding. I like school.
8 - pre-teen child. Life is about to get really really hard for him. But in other news, he's almost ready for Hogwarts.
6 - young teenager. Puberty. Enough said.
1 - teenager. She's actually really pretty, professor. You know her? Does she go here?
5 - young adult. School is done and now he has to get a job. I hope he went to a good school or else his life is basically ruined, or so I heard.
9 - adult. That is someone's mom. She wears mom jeans and kisses booboos and complains about her teenage daughters.
13 - pirate ninja older adult. Almost time for retirement for this guy. I hope he owns a house boat in Florida.
7 - senior citizen/ elderly adult. She has so many candles on her cake that they set off the fire alarms. Every wrinkle is a badge of honor. She looks happy, dunnit? She's the closest to mingling with star dust again, so maybe that's why she's so happy.


and finally......
Quote:
Originally Posted by emjay
Ethan simply stared at the professor over his enthusiastic response for a correct.. well, almost correct answer. Jumping on desks? Really? This was still Astronomy class, right? Nothing to get that excited about, in Ethan's opinion.. but then again, maybe you had to be slightly crazy to want to teach such a mediocre subject.
yep...pretty much
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Old 03-19-2013, 07:10 PM   #74 (permalink)

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Because THIS Divination lesson is just AMAZING! x3

Text Cut: *shooows*
Quote:
Originally Posted by sweetpinkpixie View Post
Having tripped over whatever it was for the umteenth time - and whatever it was was broken now - Airey decided to actually stop by the woman with the life style of a troll's classroom to remind her of something. Checking his sundial real quick, he concluded that she was probably in the middle of a lesson, but that made everything even better.

More witnesses.

Knocking on the door politely twice, he stepped inside and cleared his throat. "Professor Elwood, just wanted to remind you about our little date after your lesson," he said with a smirk. See kids? You heard it too, yeah? SHE had an appointment with HIM to CLEAN that Merlin forsaken corridor of hers. ANd maybe even her office. He DID get all afternoon with her - although he technically had all day according to the auction rules.

So, with another little smirk he winked rather obnoxiously in her direction. "I'll go to your office after I finish my yoga lesson with Professor Romanos."

So with another little grin, he close the door and went about his business. Heh.
Quote:
Originally Posted by DanialRadFAN01 View Post

..............

Did he have a taboo on his name or something?!

"Umm, Professor Flamsteed--" Before she could finished her sentence though, he was already speaking.

A date? Why did he say that? The color rose in her cheeks for a second before she was able to shake it off with a laugh. Surely the kids wouldn't think they were actually going on a date. It was cleaning, cleaning HE wanted to do.

"Yes, I remember. I will meet you there." She said quietly with a suppressed smile at him. She could NOT believe he had just interrupted her lesson for that little display.


Not waiting for Airey to leave, Calista turned back to the class and pushed a strand of her hair behind her ear, collecting herself. "Right well, despite Professor Flamsteed's...odd appearance, we will not be doing a form of Divination which will let us learn about him, at least not directly." She reached her hand over to the small box on the table next to her chair and lifted the lid. She tilted it over and pulled out a deck of cards.

"Tarot cards are one of the most widely known and practiced forms of Divination throughout the muggle and Magical worlds. There have been about 8,000 different sets made but we are going to focus on just one, for the sake of simplicity. We are all beginners, right?" The blonde paused to make sure they were taking notes before continuing. "The Rider-Waite Tarot deck is the most widely used set in the Western world. Can anyone tell me what the standardized number of cards is for this particular deck?"
AND there is even Moaning Myrtle!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Moaning_Myrtle View Post
"Fifty-two thousand, five hundred and forty-twooooooooo," a low, whiny voice just filled with pain echoed through the divination room.

There was a pause, and then two sniffles followed the moan as the source of all the noise became apparent. Moaning Myrtle had decided to sit in on today's lesson, as it were, and not because she still had a crush on the other divination professor in the room.

It was because sheeee wanted a Tarot Card reading toooooooooooo.


The rest of it is all here!
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Old 04-01-2013, 03:16 AM   #75 (permalink)


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People, people. I probably found this a lot more hilarious that I SHOULD, but Airey Flamsteed is always hilarious.

Quote:
Originally Posted by sweetpinkpixie View Post
Smiling in appreciation when Tinka reappeared, Airey moved to reach for the topmost box and then returned his blue gaze towards the floor. Where did one even begin with all this? Well, he knew how HE would organize things if it were his office. "So...Calista...how about we start sorting things based on categories..." How many of those were there in Divination? Worthless and More Worthless?

Just then he heard a knock at the door and mentally grumbled. Was there a student on the other side of that door? They were going to have to go away before their life was put at risk entering this place.

Taking a step towards it, the astronomer ended up stepping on something else and DOWN he went with a very loud THUD and a few coarse words. "Son of a comet!"
Emphasis by me.
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