|
"Isn't that exactly what we're doing?" she said, taking his arm and folding hers inside it. "We're out past general student curfew and we seem to be having a late night rendezvous. All that's missing is some suspicious behaviour and we'd be the perfect couple for you to catch out. That's if you weren't involved in the couple." she said, trailing off at the end, not sure she was entirely making any sense. |
"Well, neither of us are students and we aren't in the corridors," Snape said. "But, we are strolling about like lovers out for a late night rendezvous... Should I give us detentions?" |
"Perhaps.." she mused, not sure where this were going. "But that would mean having to go back to the castle and then separate. I'm sure the Professor would never stick two culprits in the same room for a detention of that sort." |
"Actually, I usually do. But, they have to sit on opposite ends of the room," he said wondering what on earth they were talking about. Never one to make small talk, this inane babble was beginning to grate on his nerves. He watched as the sun began to sink lower in the sky and the streetlamps of Hogsmeade slowly flickered to life. |
Chuckling to herself, although it did not sound like a happy chuckle, she realised, "We're talking about anything just to distract ourselves from what we know is coming." |
Snape looked at Marcella and nodded. "One can only avoid the inevitable for so long. Though, I had hoped to at least make it through this one night without dwelling on the fact that we won't have the opportunity to be alone together again," he said, glancing around and wondering if they really were alone even now for surely Moody had caught up with them by now. |
She only half listened to him as she swiftly moved toward a nearby flower patch, that was placed at the start of a path. Bending down, she attempted to snap a navy blue velvety rose from it's stem. Only just about managing, she cursed aloud as one of the thorns tore into her finger and broke the skin. Instinctively, she brought the finger tip her mouth and sucked on it, the flower in the other hand, her eyes prickled with tears, a wince on her face due to the taste of the metallic blood. |
Snape rushed over to Marcella at the sound of her cursing. He pulled her hand away from her mouth and wrapped her finger in a hankerchief he had pulled from his robes. He looked at her in concern. "You shouldn't do that," he scolded. |
"I can do whatever I want." she said, looking at him firmly, secretly ejoying the feeling of him holding her finger. Taking the delicate rose, she snuck it inside the pocket in his robe and smiled, ""And I did do what I wanted." |
"I don't care if you pick flowers," he sighed, casting a wary glance at the flower now stuck in his pocket. "But, you shouldn't go sticking your cuts in your mouth. You never know what you could be contaminating yourself with." |
She didn't know whether it was the blood or the tone in his voice, but it suddenly made her feel bitter and resentful for no apparent reason. "So, not because you really care then? just because I could end up doing myself some damage? I dont see why that matters anymore.." |
Snape looked at her and tried to figure out what had just happened. "I care that you could end up doing yourself damage and it does still matter," he said, taking her other hand. |
"How can it when you're not going to be here?" she asked, staring sullen at the hand that held hers, stroking it with the topmost tips of her fingers. |
"It matters because not only are you important to the cause for which I've been fighting for but, I'd rest easier knowing you were, if not safe, at least taking care of yourself." |
"How can I take care of myself when I dont even recognise what's best for me, the majority of the time? I've grown accustomed to you doing that for me." She did wonder why she was demeaning what he meant to her and thus, slid her fingers so that they entwined with his and murmered, "I need you." while squeezing his fist tight. |
Snape took Marcella in his arms and pulled her into a hug, cradling the back of her head with one of his hands, his other hand, at his side, fingers still entwined with hers. Kissing the top of her head, he whispered, "You don't need me; you only think you do because you haven't had a chance to stand on your own two feet, yet." |
"I've stood on my own two feet all my life, as you put it. I've been on my own for what seems like forever and I dont like it. It's not right. I dont want to have to be alone." |
Inclining his head, Snape hugged her tighter, Marcella's words striking something deep within him. He wanted to speak words of comfort. He wanted to tell her he was staying, that he would always be with her. But, he could not. |
Judging by his silence that he had nothing more to say, although their hands were still entwined, she turned away from him and, tugging lightly as if to indicate that they should leave, whispered, "If that's all you have to say, nothing, then I guess we've got no more to say to each other. We have no more reason to be here," she spoke ominously feeling the tears arise in her voice but not really caring at all. She had gone past caring now, things had gone too far for her to risk not showing her emotions. |
"What could I say to that?" he thought aloud. "I don't wish you to be alone either. But, short of going into hiding, there is nothing I can do to prevent what is to happen." Snape did not want to leave. He did not want their evening to turn this way. How ironic that expressing their feelings of love and need for one another should push them apart. |
Exasperated, confused, lost, she broke her hand away from his and sighed, "Dont look at me expectantly. I dont know what I want you to do neither what you're supposed to do. Why am I the one being expected to be the adult here? The one who always has to accept everything that life throws at her and still keep a false smile on her face. The one who has to sacrifice everything without complaint, never being asked for my own opinion or even of I want any of this?"She knew it was foolish to be shouting at him in this manner; all that had happened to her in the past few years was not his fault and neither could he change any of it. But she needed to say it. |
Snape stared at her as she ranted. When she was finished, he spoke calmly, and surprised himself by encouraging her to continue her emotional outburst. For some unknown reason, something was telling him that this was what Marcella needed right now. "Alright then, what is your opinion? What is it that you want?" he asked, with not even a hint of condescension. |
"I dont know," she sighed, resignedly sitting on a wooden bench that sat adjacent to the flower patch from which she had plucked that fatal rose. "I dont suppose I know because I've never been given the oppurtunity to decide. And, now that I know what I want, I've found I cant have it. The only thing I've ever felt strongly about is ironically the only thing which I should not feel strongly about at all." Wiping her forehead with the tips of her fingers from both hands, she mustered, "Look at me, spoiling this evening. I really shouldn't. I dont suppose I did drink enough alcohol after all..." she muttered, giving a pathetic half chuckle. |
Snape sat down beside Marcella and put arn arm around her. "You aren't spoiling the evening and I don't think either of us had enough to alcohol to drown out all thoughts of the future," he sighed. |
"Then the simple solution would be to drink more..." she said, rather montonously in response, not sounding entirely convinced that that was the answer to their problems. |
| All times are GMT. The time now is 07:28 PM. |
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2026, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
LinkBacks Enabled by vBSEO 3.3.2 © 2009, Crawlability, Inc.
Site designed by Richard Harris Design