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Old 09-13-2005, 08:53 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Default The Unauthorized Autobiography of Ottery St. Catchpole - Sa13+
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The Unathorized Autobiography of Ottery St. Catchpole
By Otts & Teddy


-----------------------------------------------------

This one's for Ronboy45. Finally, a boy after being surrounded by so many girls. *glomps Ronboy*



Once upon a time, in a little town in Bethlehem (Ottery try to stay on topic here) oh right. *Ahem* Once upon a time in a little town in Mexico, (circa 1905) a little boy wizard was born to humble people. He was named after the town that his witch mother (*Teddy gasps* Ottery!) had been born and raised in before following her wizard husband back to his home in Mexico. His name was Ottery St. Catchpole and this is the story of his adventures in the wizarding world.

*

1916

He was running through a meadow laughing. His friend Ruben chasing after him. Not exactly tag, since Ruben wanted to pound Ottery into the ground for that little prank he had pulled just a minute before.

"Te voy a matar!" He yelled.

"You have to catch me first," Ottery screamed back, laughing.

He tripped on a rock and fell disappearing in the tall grass of the plains. Ruben, the blonde haired boy and Ottery's best friend, tripped on the boy's leg and fell over him squooshing him.

"Ouch," Ottery yelled.

"Serves you right," Ruben said suddenly.

The boys started fighting, fists flying, and rolling on the grass, Ottery laughing and Ruben smiling in spite of himself. The boy really was a crazed nut. They stopped when they heard the sound of a motor running. It was not a common sound in the country, or anywhere for that matter given that it was 1916 and the car was still in it's infancy. What was more, they lived in a little town away from the muggles, so the boys stopped their roughhousing to look up and see what the matter was. A sound like a whooping crane or a bird getting strangled was sounding too. They stood up in the grass and watched the road as a muggle car drove by. An oddly dressed man was sitting behind the wheel, a portly figure dressed all in khaki and wearing goggles of all things driving a barely moving (it must've been 16 miles...that was fast back then Otts) vehicle. A good broom could do that easily.

"Who do you think that is?" Ruben asked.

"Some crazy muggle, you ask me." Ottery replied. "But what's he doing out here and why's he making all those awful noises?"

"It's not him stupid, it's the car," Ruben said slapping the boy on the arm.

"Stupid?" Ottery remarked before turning around laughing, "I'm not the one who ate that dulce con purga." He started laughing and running, and it had begun again, Ruben was chasing Ottery through the grassy fields outside of his hometown...what would seem to him like a lifetime ago. But for that day at least and in that moment they were lost in joy. Though they were wrong in thinking that it would last forever, or that the man driving the car was a muggle.

*

Rules: No quote by quote replies, you wanna quote something fine, you quote the whole post I'll ignore ya. This is for me, and this is for fun so... =P if you take it seriously. *waves as he leaves*
Ottery: C'mon Teddy we've got a plot to figure out...

Teddy: Shouldn't be too hard Otts, it's your life.
Ottery: True. You think they got the joke? With the title I mean...
Teddy: You give 'em too much credit...
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Old 09-14-2005, 04:59 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Ottery: Don't everyone crowd in all at once. I want everyone to read my bio...
Teddy: Face it Otts. Your time in the limelight is over...
Ottery: It wasn't me that got smaller it was the pictures... (dedicate my next post to you if you know what movie that's from)
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Old 09-14-2005, 06:30 PM   #3 (permalink)
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It would not be until that evening that the funny muggle gentleman and his passanger, whom the boys in their frolicking had not seen, would come to visit them. Would come and change things.
The sunlight was waning in the summer twilight as the boys made their way back to the little wizard town out in the plains of Northern Mexico. The country was in the midst of a revolution, (T: what another one? O: Hey, we like our Revolutions...people are planning one now, even.) and elsewhere Europe was in turmoil, but in the small peaceful place it seemed that nothing could touch the tranquility of Tocantins. They walked through the long tall grass towards the little Pueblo where already the people where gathering at the square as they did every night.
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Old 09-14-2005, 06:34 PM   #4 (permalink)
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ottery how many ffcs do you have?

ohh and the quote is from "Sunset boulivard (SP)"
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Old 09-14-2005, 06:38 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Exclamation Ottery is...really not that evil...no really...he's worse...Mwahahahahahahaha
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But you're a grown up Kaz...no fair. Of course you'd know... but as promised. This spam post is dedicated to you. LOL. What? *shrugs* I'm the HBP I'm not supposed to be nice. LOL.
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Old 09-14-2005, 06:38 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Old 09-14-2005, 06:39 PM   #7 (permalink)
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DOnt call me a grown up otts.. and i asked my film buff brother!

PAMS
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Old 09-14-2005, 06:44 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Mwahahahahahahah! Clowns are pure evil! They'll destroy us all!*repeats over and over* Hey, where is my darling husband anyway?
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Old 09-14-2005, 06:51 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Talking Ottery is...so happy you all are here...but especially *glomps* My boy
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Kaz: Grown up, grown up, grown up... =P Neener, neener, neener...just don't sue me.

Ronboy: He's my boy And yes sweetie clowns are pure evil and they will destroy us all. Beware the clowns...I will post more soon. That's a RHPS reference isn't it? The clowns?
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Old 09-14-2005, 06:55 PM   #10 (permalink)
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*cries* "ottery is a meany i am going to tell on you and that teddy!"

So this ff is about you then?
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Old 09-14-2005, 07:01 PM   #11 (permalink)
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Talking Ottery is...just like Hemingway...only sexier...yay baby!!!!
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Ottery: There's a little bit of me in everything I write Kaz. Otherwise I wouldn't be a good writer. *shrugs* That said...don't bother asking what's fact and what's fiction...that's...
Teddy: Strictly confidential.
Ottery: *shrugs*
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Old 09-14-2005, 08:18 PM   #12 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by OtterySt.Catchpole
Kaz: Grown up, grown up, grown up... =P Neener, neener, neener...just don't sue me.

Ronboy: He's my boy And yes sweetie clowns are pure evil and they will destroy us all. Beware the clowns...I will post more soon. That's a RHPS reference isn't it? The clowns?
Nope, it is a Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy refrence,lovey.
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Old 09-14-2005, 08:20 PM   #13 (permalink)
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Old 09-15-2005, 01:05 AM   #14 (permalink)
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The Sweetest Thing Lissy De Vil

Aaaaaahhhh Ottery! The Autobiography we've all been waiting for!! *anticipates* And it's Unauthorized too. (Not even going to consider how that could be possible ) So does that mean we get all the dirt? The rise to the top? The greed? The corruption? If so - cool beans!!
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Old 09-15-2005, 01:11 AM   #15 (permalink)
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EEE!!! The autobiography of the year has finally arrived!!!! *squeals* This is going to ROCK!!!! *moves in with the minions*
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Old 09-15-2005, 01:18 AM   #16 (permalink)
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So loving this! Is this going to be like be like that show, Behind the Music, only it'll be "Behind the Prince" or something... I'm so looking forward to this, keep it coming, keep it coming!
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Old 09-15-2005, 04:54 AM   #17 (permalink)
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Third Year
Talking To my one and only Ronboy with luvs and no Barney...sorry
Paris & Kellybear r luv :Read Otty 's fics:Gone With the Wind:I♥Rupert

Ottery: It's called sleight of hand Teddy, love.
Teddy: You're coming to be a master at misdirection.
Ottery: You know what I say...any direction is better than not going anywhere. :evillaugh

------------------------------------------------------
The town square was every night the heart of the town. During celebrations, the Mariachi would play in the gazebo, on Sunday's you could hear Don Oberon's Orchestra, not that he was in it, but as the richest member of the community, and the mayor and owner of most of the business (T: So pretty much the sole reason the town existed is what you're saying? O: Yup), he had hired them to play symphonies so that the townspeople could appreciate the Muggle culture. Late at night, when most of the town was asleep, that was the place where the lovers would rendezvous. It was the heart of Tocantins.
So the boys walked past the fountain, waving and saying hello to the townspeople they recognized sitting outside on the benches all around the square enjoying the evening breeze, and light conversation. Ottery turned back and ran up to the fountain for his nightly ritual.
"Hay no, again? You're gonna go broke if you keep throwing your knuts in the fountain," the blonde haired boy said.
Ottery for his part fished in his pockets, through wads of string, gum, wire, muggle pennies, and other things. Finding a knut he put his hands together, closed his eyes, made the same wish he made every time he passed the fountain with a knut in his pocket. He flipped the penny in and smiled up at the statue of the angels. There were two of them dressed in flowing robes, flying apart. They symbolized love and joy.
"Andale pues, I'm hungry," Ottery said, clapping the boy on the back and starting to run for home when a familiar sound stopped him. Ruben stopped next to him and rolled his eyes. Again! He had hopped that they could just go home once. Straight home without having to stop. It was not as bad as the fountain, but if Ottery was in one of his melancholy moods they could be out there all night.
Alex was sitting on the steps of the gazebo in the center of the square his guitar playing softly in the dark, in that instant before all the gaslights magically came on. They were enchanted to do so only when the suns light was completely gone from the earth and they were bathed in darkness.

*

Ottery: Hello Angels. Back for more are ya? Well this one's a lot less serious *lying*
Teddy: Yeah, post a review and we'll fire our canons at you.
Ottery: *covering Teddy's mouth* Don't mind him, he's a brat. But yeah, no reviews...just sit back and enjoy...oh, and all respects to all those fic authors out there who don't write their stuff on word and just write it as they post. This is seriously hard stuff. Duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuude. Oh, and Ronboy *glomps Ronboy* You're my one and only...promise, and NO Barney will not be in this fic. Unless you ask me too.
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Old 09-15-2005, 10:46 AM   #18 (permalink)
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Old 09-15-2005, 11:13 AM   #19 (permalink)
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This is too cute! Of course we came back Ottery! Why wouldn't we!? WE LOVE YOU!!! *huggles you along with the minions*
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Old 09-15-2005, 09:48 PM   #20 (permalink)
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lol, i like it lol PAMS! i can't wait for more. this is so good its actually unique rather than the same old, same old... lol so BUMPS and PAMS!
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Old 09-15-2005, 09:58 PM   #21 (permalink)
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pretty good story if u ask me!
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Old 09-15-2005, 10:24 PM   #22 (permalink)
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OMG Otts!!!! You never told me you were doing an autobiography!

*drags in air mattress, pillow, mini pillow, blankey, and Mrs. Pinky, the bestest bear ever (sorry Teddy)* I'm gonna camp out to this thing.

Oh yes, thank you for posting at my fic, and the office is beautiful, thanks!

Aaaaawww, PLEASE can you add Barney to your fic? It's either Barney or the Wiggles, so take your pick, LoL.

Luv ya, Otts, be back later!

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Old 09-16-2005, 04:42 AM   #23 (permalink)
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Third Year
Talking Ottery is...givin' ya all some more...oh and a poll too...Mwahahahahaha
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Alex was twenty something, dark haired, blue eyed, faired skin, Spanish, the most wonderful singer in the world or so all the girls in Tocantins, who were of marrying age, and never too far from him when he sat on the steps of the gazebo at nights to play his guitar, as he was doing just then, thought. He was lost in his music, and Ruben turned to look at his friend, and just like that there it was. Ottery's eyes got that glazed look and he was gone wherever the song took him. It was a sad, mournful song about lost loves that you can never forget and Alejandro was singing it with all the passion in the world it seemed.

Ruben sighed. As if Ottery was old enough to know anything about that. Love, much less losing it and never being able to forget her. But it was melancholy, and that was Ottery sometimes. So Ruben followed Ottery to the steps of the gazebo where Alex was lost in his song in the moonlight. Ottery stood there watching the singer, it seemed almost as if he would cry, and Ruben was debating wether he should nudge him back into reality, but that boy could lose himself in dreams and fantasies. Still you couldn't blame him when you knew what he had waiting at home.

In that respect at least Ruben was lucky, and he knew it. But it didn't keep him from being a spoiled brat. But what did it matter anyways? So long as they let him get away with it he would, he smiled to think on that.

As the song ended, the gaslights came on all at once by magic, Alex noticed Ottery and gave him a surprised smile. He had not noticed him there so lost in his song. A tear rolled down Ottery's cheek, and he wiped it away pretending to wipe his nose as he sat next to the singer. He didn't want him seeing him crying, he'd think he was being a girl. (T: Oh, you're audience is going to love that. O: Boys can't be girls Teddy =P so don't hate).

"What are you doing out so late Otts? Your aunt's looking for you and she..." Alex started.

"Didn't look happy. So what else is new? Hate that evil..." Alejandro cleared his throat and signaled to the girls behind them. Gossip got around town very fast, and Ottery and his pranks did not make him a popular person, especially with the girls of marrying age. But it was a mutual dislike.

"Yeah, yeah, I know," Ottery replied sighing. "Pues, before I go, play me a song."

"I just did," Alex said ruffling the boy's hair. He always thought of Ottery as a little brother, but to Ottery he was more than that.

"Don't be mean. C'mon, before she finds me," Ottery pleaded, making his eyes as big as he could and giving that pitiful look that worked to get him out of so many scrapes with so many people.

"Esta bien." Very well.

Alejandro took up his guitar and stood up playing a lively tune, singing very quickly, a happy little song about music and singing and love, and Ottery smiled at the song. Think about it before you fall in love, the lyrics went, think it over well because I don't want to play with love.

"Otts. Trouble." Ruben said, as the dark haired boy smiled.

Ottery groaned when he noticed who was coming from across the square and in no happy mood. But she hadn't seen him yet. So he stuck out his tongue at her, and looked at Alex with a look of deep regret, to which the other boy winked, and Ottery grabbed Ruben by the arm (T: Because wherever little Ottery went Ruben was sure to go, O: Best mates! *winks*) and dragged him home by the back way. Ottery looked back and he could see all the girls rounding in on Alex, which made him none to happy the shameless flirts. Didn't they think there were other guys in Tocantins? Jealousy was a funny thing.
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Old 09-16-2005, 05:05 AM   #24 (permalink)
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Red face Ottery is...staying up late and he's going to regret it in the morning...LOL
Paris & Kellybear r luv :Read Otty 's fics:Gone With the Wind:I♥Rupert

*In the offices of the WB*

Teddy: Ottery our ratings are going down the *word used on HBO but not allowed on SS*
Ottery: I really need to keep you away from the cable.
Teddy: The advertising isn't working...
Ottery: Oh, gawd no. Please Teddy...anything but that...please.
Teddy: Yup...sorry Otts...I'm calling in the big guns...we're going to have to do a crossover.
Ottery: *crying* Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.

Ottery Poll:

Q: If Ottery's Autobiography were a crossover...who would you want it to crossover with?

1) ScoobyDoo & the Gang
2) Harry Potter (T: Ottery this is a HP fic O: Yeah, but I'd love two Ron *giggling girlishly* T: The fans are really going to love you. )
3) A Series of Unfortunate Events
4) O: I'm only doing this because I love you Ronboy *groans* Barney
5) Friends (T: I'd say Sex in the City myself)
6) Peter Pan
7) Write in____________________
8) G.I. Joe
9) The Care Bears
10) Oliver Twist
11) Anything by E.A.Poe
12) Alice in Wonderland
13) DNAngel
14) Robotech O: *snickering* Oh, that'd be rich...
15) Digimon
16) NGE (which consequently requires I move this fic to 15+ and I start carding you all)
17) CCS
18) All of the above
19) All of the above and keep it canon...LOL
20) Crossover fics are the bane of my existance...
21)Gundam
22) The Secret of Blue Water
23) School HOuse ROck WTF???
24) Hel lboy
25) Lagoon Engine
26) Your Momma!

LOL

Vote Now! But you only get to pick one.

*Ottery casts his vote for Digimon, Teddy for all of the above cuz he's mean*
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Old 09-16-2005, 10:39 AM   #25 (permalink)
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