Olly hovered on the spot outside the Common Room entrance. She really didn't want to go back in, to be honest. Too many people were usually hanging around there and even though all she wanted to do was go to her dormitory, it required passing the Common Room. Which was irritating. So maybe if she waited long enough most of them had already gone to bed? Though, that probably meant that she'd be out here for a long time.

Past curfew.

And THAT would be a REALLY lame reason to get detention for being out past curfew.

She could think of so many better reasons to be out past curfew.

Rubbing her nose - it was ITCHING today, and running too - Olly shifted her weight from one foot to the other before moving over to lean against one of the barrels. She'd wait for a little while. Not too long though because she was almost out of tissues and having snot run down across your face was a VERY unattractive and most of all uncomfortable thing. So just for a little while. She could also feel her eyes getting heavier. Bed, soon, please.

OKAY. Stan was tired. And his head hurt.. and he had no idea why. Maybe he was getting sick too. See, this was exactly why he hadn't wanted to hug Elodie. He didn't like being too close to sick people. It meant him getting sick.. But.. Oh. Now, he REALLY was sick. Stan spotted Olly outside the entrance to the common room, looking irritated as usual. Did this girl EVER smile? Not that he cared or anything.

... Wait. She was standing right in front of the barrel he was supposed to tap. WHYOHWHY!? Clearing his throat and trying NOT to look too annoyed, he requested politely, "Could you move a little, please?".. He said please.

Ugh. This sucked. Big time. At least she'd found a tissue in her pocket and had managed to duplicate it. Okay the duplicates looked a little weird but hey, they were tissues so it didn't really matter. Blowing her nose, Olly had decided that waiting would be a lot more comfortable if she sat down on one the barrels that were in front of their Common Room entrance. Ah yes, that was better. She'd started to feel a little dizzy standing already.

Okay, seriously, this was Elodie's fault. Why did she have to be sick? Ugh.

Rubbing her nose, making small red patches appear on it, Olly looked up when she heard approaching footsteps. Oh great. As if her day wasn't already bad enough. Usually and especially in the condition she was currently in, the fifth year would have just relented and moved out of the way. Instead, however, she stared at Stan for a moment before pulling up her legs onto the barrel she was sitting on. "Why?" What was he doing out here anyway? They were supposed to be in the Common Room. All of them.

That was why she was out here.

Cutty made his way up towards the kitchens. He had picked this location because he knew from Charlie's owl that the boy had a keen sense of direction when it came to this part of the Castle. Not like the Portraits would do, with their prying eyes and unsolicited comments, and of course the fire might melt the unprotected chocolate. The owlery was out too, as Cutty feared being harassed by an owl and that some of the goods might be likely to get snatched up by a hungry and less-oft used owl. The kitchens were the perfect place!


The boy looked severe given who he was. His hair was combed. His hands and face washed and cleaned and his house-coloured silver and green tie was tied neatly around a clean and pressed shirt. Cutty's school back was filled to near busting not with school books or parchment or quills, but his sweet stash which he was totally serious about selling.

Fern came crawling out between the barrels and choked as she saw the person standing in the hall. It was him - CUTHBERT. The one she had done incredibly well avoiding since the boat debacle, despite the fact that he was in the same house as her cousin.

"What are YOU doing here!?" She demanded, "You're not a Hufflepuff! Go back to your own house! Shoo!" The 11-year-old waved her hands at him, stepping until she was practically nose-to-nose with the boy.

He'd heard what sounded like the soft scraping of wood and turned towards the direction of the barrels. Wot?! A little hidey-hole was it?! People? No, not people. It was just the boat girl. With much the same reaction she'd had to him that fateful day they crossed the lake together.

Cutty could see that, plainly, even his mere presence was enough to send her on edge. This was going to be easy. He stood there wearing the most. arrogant. little. slytherin-imp-of-a-grin on his face seeming to take pleasure in her outburst. "Hufflepuff...That's where they make you live? Behind a mass of barrels?! Ha! Don't even have a proper common room, do yer?!" He took steps back as Fern's little hands waved about trying to get him to go away. Not a chance sister. He was here to make money and if anyone had invented the thing that could separate a Slyth from a money-making opportunity I will eat a rusty beach cruiser.

He looked her up and down doing his Judgey McJudgeypants thing, and with a sneering little laugh commented on her proximity. "WOT?! Trying to move in for a little action?!" Cutty puckered his lips and did a mock-kiss through the air.

Charlie smiled at his piece of parchment in front of him. His hands were poorly bandaged with plasters, to hide the beak marks and cuts. Hopefully Cutty wouldn't notice. His pocket jangled with coins as he left the Common Room. The barrels. They were like right there.

He smiled when he saw his messy companion. But he wasn't messy. He looked all clean. All Un-Cutty-ish. That wasn't normal.

"Cutt-" he stopped mid Cutty as he noticed a girl with him. Was that his girlfriend? Did Cutty even have girlfriends? What was a girlfriend? He stood there for a moment hoping Cutty would notice him and send the girl on his way.

Every second she spent in Cuthbert's presence, her hatred of him grew tenfold. Who did he think he was, smiling like that? And criticizing her house! "NO! We have a real common room, and it's the best ever! But I'm not going to and try to explain it to you because your gillyweed brain just wouldn't understand!!"

Fern matched the mean boy's scrutinizing gaze with her own, curling her lip in an expression of absolute disgust. But she reeled back squealing when he tried to kiss her.

It wasn't that Fern was opposed to kissing. Or boys. How many times had she imagined receiving her first kiss from none other than the dashing Dante Dark, her teen pop idol?

No, it was CUTHBERT she had the problem with.

"Ewwwww!" Wiping her mouth and spitting, even though his lips hadn't even touched hers, the Hufflepuff screamed, "YOU'RE! YOU'RE SO! SO! YOU'RE SUCH A CREEPY EVIL JERK!!!"

In her anger, she didn't even notice the onlooker.

Slowly, the corners of Cuthbert's mouth began to turn up and a look of pure and utter smugness overtook his features and held-fast as he realized what was happening there. Fern had the hots for him. Clearly. And holding to his smugness whilst continuing to play her was all Cutty could do to keep from falling into a roaring fit of laughter as he teased her on it.

From behind Fern's angreh lil outburst, Cutty spotted the wizard he was looking for and he thought Charlie's timing could not have been more perfect. "Ah-eh! Just because we've got company now doesn't mean you have to become frigid on us, loov. Stop denying us, won't yer?!", he continued to tease Fern before stopping to greet his friend.

"Hello, Charlie!" He said, sounding genuinely happy to see him. "This is my girlfriend,..." He looked blankly to the side, realizing he didn't know the angreh little puff-puffs name. "Godzilla." Whoa! Think fast!

"Scarper off, girl! This is wizard's business." He said condescendingly towards Fern and waving his hands in a similar shoo-ing fashion as she had done him earlier.

Charlie frowned as this girl called his Cutty a jerk. He wasn't a jerk. Maybe it was a girl thing. Maybe she was the jerk. Girls were weird. He really didn't understand them. Wasn't this one in his house? She looked like she was wearing the robes he wore. He peered down at his chest. Yep yellow like hers.

He smiled as Cutty greeted him. "Hi Cutty," he waved slightly at the boy. "Godzilla?" he frowned. Was that even a girl's name? Actually that dinosaur in the movie was a girl. So it was possible. She had all those dinosaur babies. And they ate all those people. And that bomb hit and they all died. That made Charlie sad. That was why he had Fred. Ok it wasn't a dinosaur or a lizard. But it was cute.

He smiled and waved at Godzilla. Hopefully she would leave soon. Before she ate him. Or Fred. She'd better not eat Fred.

What?

What!?

WHAT!?

Fern's eyes were bulging, and her freckled face had turned a deep shade of plum. How had she, in only a few seconds - maybe minutes - ended up as CUTHBERT'S GIRLFRIEND!? How had that happened!? And more importantly, why did this have to happen to her!? Fern didn't know, but what she did know was this arrangement wasn't going to last for long. She was going to break up with him.

Right now, as a matter of fact. "NO I'M NOT! THIS RELATIONSHIP IS OVER! I'M BREAKING UP WITH YOU!"

"AND MY NAME IS FERN! QUIMBLEY!" Why did people always get that wrong!? And what kind of a now ex-boyfriend was Cuthbert if he didn't even know her name!?

Then she stomped her foot, and swatted Cuthbert's flapping hands. "You scarper off! This isn't your own floor, remember!" She was staying right here, because Charlie seemed like a descent person who had somehow been tricked into being friends with Cuthbert, and she wasn't going to leave him alone and unprotected with such an evil boy. After all, they were both Hufflepuffs, which meant they had to look after each other. But even if they hadn't been in the same house, she still wouldn't have left. Fern gave her Charlie what she hoped was a comforting smile, but given her extreme anger, she wasn't entirely in control of her facial expressions, and it might have come off a little maniacal.

He withdrew his hands after Fern had given them a good swack and actually thought her quite strong for a girl. Not unlike a gorilla. A Girl-rilla. That was Fern. He raised his eyebrows with a look of tolerant resignation, though Cutty's sigh wasn't one of resignment but one that was trying hard to sound resigned for it was at points very clearly amused.

"Fine. Stay for all I care." He pushed his way past Fern accidentally on purpose bumping her with his lumpy, heavy bag. He put an arm around Charlie Tudor and started to walk a little with him to put some distance between them and Little Miss Angreh Puff.

"I got your owl, Charlie and I think I might be able to help you. I've brought along some of my best sellers. Chocolate Frogs, Fizzing Whizzbees, Best Blowing Gum, and a few others. No Pumpkin pasties, though, mind you. They didn't last very long on the journey over." He regreted. Then, finally being at close range Cutty noticed Charlie's bandage. "What happened to your hand?" He asked sounding a bit unprepared for whatever the answer might be.

Oh Fern. Fern's a much better name for a girl. Better than Godzilla. "Fern," he smiled. Even if she was a girl, he had to be nice. She was kinda with Cutty. Well...was. That seemed to go up in smoke.

Now Cutty was talking to him. That was good. Silly girl. Go away. She was starting to get her cooties EVERYWHERE. They were being carried in the air. "It was the owl. Did it eat you?" It wasn't Fred this time. Fred had had a nibble when he'd first got him. But he was well trained now. He wasn't fully housetrained though. Yet.

Finally. Someone who comprehended that she was Fern. F-E-R-N. And that was another reason why she wasn't going to leave Charlie alone with Cuthbert. She didn't need the mean Slytherin hexing the only first year boy who actually called her by the correct name.

Then something extra incredible happened. Cuthbert gave up trying to make her leave. He let Fern win. This could only be because he was feeling absolutely destroyed after being dumped so harshly. A smug grin spread across the Hufflepuff's face, and not even being whacked by his bag - "EXCUUUSE ME!?" - could wipe it off.

It wasn't until Cuthbert started steering Charlie out of her sight that she lost her gloating smile. Fern knew she had told him to go back to the dungeons, she hadn't meant take Charlie with him. That was not okay. Catching up with the boys, she asked nosily, "Pumpkin pasties, owls, what?"

Cutty was going to keep a straight face if it killed him. Charlie was probably going to be a very good client and Cutty did not intend to blow it by laughing in his face. "No, Charlie, no. The owl didn't eat me." He said calmly. "So what do you feel like having?", he said patting Charlie's shoulder and then withdrawing to unfasten his bag.

But, ugh! Godzilla was still lurking behind them. "YERROKAY! If yer gonna be buzzing around behind us at least have the decency to know what yer lookin' at. THIS is a sweets deal. Understand?" What was she gonna do? Tell a Professor. He as much as advertised it. "And there's no excuse for your kind, FERN QUIMBLEY."

Charlie was confused. Was this tree lady leaving or not? Fern was a tough, resilient bush. So resilient it was one of the first plants to come back after all those dinosaurs died. Cutty was right with Godzilla.

"Yeah. I'm gonna avoid owls from now on. Stick with Fred." Which was totally the normal name for something. Who was named after a tough bush anyway? Silly girl. He knew what he wanted. And knew Cutty wasn't going to let him down. Cos they were Best Friends. "Fizzing Whizzbees," he beamed, "Lots of them." He had loads right?

Taking a couple steps back as Cuthbert yelled at her, Fern planted her hands on her hips. "Of course I understand." Glancing down at his bulging bag, the Hufflepuff sniffed with disdain. How long had he been keeping those candies in there? What if some of them had melted? Fern didn't know how warm the Slytherin Common room was, but they had to have a fireplace, and if he'd left them by it for just a second... And regardless of their physical condition, they probably had HIS smell all over them. Which was to say, they reeked something incredibly awful - kind-of...pickle-y. Fern knew this; she'd gotten a good whiff of it earlier when he was all in her face.

About to say something about this, the 11-year-old was caught off guard when he said her name. CORRECTLY.

Eyebrows lifted, Fern stared open-mouthed, realizing just how emotionally crushed he had been by her rejection. Then she giggled. What a power rush.

"WAIT!" she cried after Charlie announced his order, holding up a hand. "Don't you want to know the prices first?!" Because with Cuthbert selling, they were probably astronomically inflated. But that was why Fern was here: to protect Charlie, and that included watching over his pocketbook.

"Oh, I've got bags of 'em!" Cutty boasted his stores, got his bag to open and pulled out a large cylinder filled with the Fizzing Whizbees. He unlatched the cap.

Oh, there she went and did it. Positioning herself a bit too close to the boy and his financial prospects. Cutty shot a tolerant smile at Fern that came and went too quickly to be sincere. "And just what are you insinuating with that remark? That a good man like Charlie Tudor can't afford to buy sweets? Off with you!". He waved his hand at her in a gesture befitting the statement then drew out a whizzbee or two. "How many would you like, Charlie?"

Yaaaay. Lots of them. He looooved Fizzing Whizzbees. They were betting than flying. Or what he presumed flying would feel like. He was still a little heavy to be flying. He wasn't going to stop eating the sweets anyway. Especially not at this moment. They were like in arms reach almost. He jiggled a little on the spot with excitement, as Cutty pulled out the cylinder.

Charlie's mouth dropped when Fern got in between him and his sweeties. She really was Godzilla. "Don't you go getting in between me and my Whizzbees," he scolded at her slightly. "You don't get to being my shape by not being able to afford sweeties. Plus Cutty is awesome, he won't charge me like a galleon per whizzbee." Right?

He held out his hands in a cupping motion, then thought for a moment. Not big enough. He should've brought a bag. POCKET!!! Genius Charlie.

He held open his pocket, "Just fill it." He had a peer in first to check whether it was the one with money in or not. Thankfully it wasn't.

"Of course not!" Fern huffed, too offended by Cuthbert's accusations to notice he still hadn't given a price. And then Charlie went and turned on her, when all she was trying to do was help him out. What a pair of jerks.

She saw how it was. Cue I-don't-care hair flip. But she wasn't leaving, even though she wanted to, because that would mean she was letting herself be ordered around by Cuthbert. So instead she just watched in visible disgust as Charlie held out his pocket and hoped to Merlin he went broke over this deal. Because Fern sure wasn't going to help him haggle the price down.

Charlie was a muse, really. And inspirational genius that just gave Cutty an idea to add grab bags to the inventory. They could talk about cuts & percentages later. "No, not even close to a galleon, Charlie. They're only 2 sickles!" He said, in a can-you-believe-that-whatta-deal sort of way.

Cutty snorted and shook his head when Fern flipped her hair. Nutty little Puff-puff. He turned his attention back to Charlie and began to fill the boys pockets with two wrapped Whizzbees at a time. "Tell me when it's enough, Charlie. 2, 4, 6, 8...?" He stopped at 8 to check his friends response. Maybe that was enough?

What was Godzilla still doing here? Surely she didn't want any of his sweets. He didn't share them. EVER!!! Charlie no share sweeties. Especially not Fizzing Whizzbees. They were his favourite. And if she didn't get the picture then she needed to take her big dinosaur feet elsewhere.

He kept an eye on Cutty and the whizbees. He'd stopped. What was he thinking of? "10...12..." Yes he could count too. His pocket wasn't full enough yet. It wasn't even half full. "Come on Cutty. Fill it." Silly boy. What sort of a best friend didn't fill another's pocket.

Fern's eyebrows shot up when Cuthbert named her price, but she quickly schooled them back down into an expression of contempt. Which wasn't too hard, because after she got over her surprise, she started to think about what an idiot Cuthbert was.

By saying Cuthbert wouldn't charge him a Galleon, Charlie had really been saying he would pay anything less than that. Which meant Cuthbert technically could have charged 16 sickles...although Fern didn't know if Charlie, as unintelligent as he appeared to be, would have actually gone for that. But certainly Cuthbert could have charged more than 2 SICKLES!!!

Really. It made her sick.

And now this was all starting to get boring. Fern shifted her stance, stretching out a leg that had started to cramp from all the standing in place.

Cutty was reaching into the case and filling Charlie's pocket, but soon became frustrated that his hands couldn't quite do it fast enough for his liking. "Do you want to just purchase the whole lot of what I have on me?" Cutty silently counted as he proceeded to unload the entire cuboid into Charlie's pocket after this apparently rhetorical question. "24 Whizzbees at 2 Sickles each is 2 Galleons, 14, please."

And, what was Fern still standing around for? She was eying them unhappily. That mere expression brought joy to his heart. And he considered what other things he might be able to do to further exacerbate Fern's obvious contempt.
Cutty leaned into Charlie and didn't really whisper so much as utter audibly, "Best to be wise to that one, Tudor. She's a little obsessive." He held his hand out palm up.