Louisa used her quill this time and her wand to gather her hair up in an unkempt bun, thanks to her unnamed kitty the ribbon she usually used was now the new chewing toy to the feline. Hmph, how very rude. Who said Louisa ever wanted cats anyways? People just assume girls like to have pets, particularly cats. Big shock there because this certain girl would've preferred a parrot who could learn how to talk and actually communicate with her instead of demanding snuggles and other emotional attention. Sillystupidcats.

... did she just rant about her cat in her head? Louisa let out a sigh and a chuckle as she skillfully hopped down the grounds toward the Greenhouses.

It was sunny, not burning kind of sunny but warm and slightly humid now that she was closer to the Lake and the Hot Spring. The first weekend this term was just like they were back in summer with the weather and not much to study for yet. Which was why Vickers and herself agreed to seize this opportunity and have a soothing, very necessary and private meeting, to discuss... things.

Maybe the boy had his mind set on the thing they both shared at the party, which was the main reason why she came over here, but Louisa had a little more to tell him - well, not 'little', not at all. But even that it was kind of irrelevant and... horrid, it was like a big rock waiting for her to be all alone to fall and force her to cease breathing. She HAD to lift this rock or even smite it! And he was the best candidate; the closest friend available within reach. Really, she wanted him to know, without a justified reason or motive, Louisa wanted Vickers to know more intimate things about her, things that she considered vulnerable, secrets no one else was allowed to learn them about her, not even her magic-hater mother.

Vickers made his way from the castle out towards the grounds, trotting the familiar path that led to the the student gardens. It didnt escape his notice that there were some new sights around Hogwarts, and as much as his curious nature wanted to have him go and explore those, he had a schedule to keep today.

He passes the narrow path that leads into the foliage of the student garden. The ginger Head Girl was already there of course, of which he cleared his throat to subtly announce his presence "Hey Louisa..." he greeted her, then paused momentarily as he gazed at the swing trellis they made for the Herbology Task Force the previous term. "Its a good thing its still standing isnt it?" he mutters, pounding his fists solidly against the planks that were once wooden skewers....

Louisa reached the swing - their swing and the trellis that's supposed to be just a Herbology project, and it was before summer. Today, she smiled when the flowers and foliage seemed to grow beautifully climbing the wooden structure green-ifying the whole ugly brown shade. Her hand touched one of the support planks gently then slide inward closer to the swing where their names were carved. She finally sit, or rather flop on it, shifting herself to face the back of the swing and stare at the badly carved names. Her handwriting wasn't that good on smooth paper, let alone solid wood. Heh.

Needless to say that her heart jumped, startled, when someone cleared their throat but Louisa did well in hiding that. She turned around, a bit sharply, and gave the boy a nod and a smile. "I think professor Bentley must've added a few protecting or supporting charms." Because the swing didn't crumble down when Louisa sat down. "I like all the blossoming flowers and vines." Her gaze scanned their greenery location, "I don't deny that I'm not a very green person but it feels good to see what used to be an ugly small seed turn into a beautiful live plant."

Her eyes were now staring up at the climbing vine. "I like vines the most. They give me the feeling of limitlessness. Climbing over anything and everything, hugging or just crawling, upward and downward, it's like taking the shape of whatever is nearby but with its own way and touch."

He found her peeking over the back of the swing. "Oh yeah, we did carve our names on there didnt we?" he grinned as he bent over and read the carvings upside down. "At least no one's thought of vandalizing it with something silly" he added. He took pride in his work, specially something as solidly built as this. He nodded his head at the mention of the Herbologist "Yeah she must've, and I'm really glad she kept it." She could've gone with the trend of the rest of the grounds and changed this area to something else.

He glances up at the foliage that has now softened the look of the wooden trellis "They've sure grown in pretty well." he murmured in agreement when Louisa spoke of the blossoms and the vines. But it was the way she spoke about the latter that got his thoughts drifting to something else…. getting him to flush up just a bit. Ahem.

He sat down on the swing next to her, sliding his palms across his pants out of habit of getting rid of any nervous sweat. There was this awkward pause, the kind where there was so much that he wants to say but his lips made no sound. Finally this ”Congratulations on being Head Girl!” he says smiling proudly. He wanted to give her a hug but as they were sitting all he could do was reach out and gave her hand a tight squeeze ”Very proud of you. Much deserved!” he meant every word, and it shows in the sparkle in his eyes as he looks at her. ”I know you’d have extra duties now, so if you need help with anything, I can help you pick up the slack.”

Was that what he really wanted to talk all private-like for? No, not entirely anyway, and it is a better way to start things up than him mumbling stupidly about that trouble at the train…

Vandalizing it? Louisa screwed up her face at the thought, "I would've personally tried to catch who did that." Like she was personally going to catch the tipper to the Apparecium articles ruining her reputation. Shallow, insolent people who got too much time to waste uselessly, stalking and snooping around. HMPH. But they -the articles- didn't prevent the school staff to appoint her as Head Girl, did they? Nope.

And sure enough, this was what Vickers say next after a short period of silence.

Louisa felt his hand slip into hers, and instead of looking up at him, her eyes went for the hand. She slowly shifted hers so that her palm touched his, briefly. "Thank you." Now she looked up at him and tried to read ALL the motives of those words and gesture. Which might be just a friendly one, maybe he wanted to press her hand - like Louisa did sometimes with Adam and Paulie. "I didn't expect it, you know. I was with my dad at the Leaky Cauldron when I got it." Her mouth twitched into a smile but it wasn't that big or exciting, "Usually my mom and stepdad just wave it off. But with a wizard parent, he was aware of the value of this badge. It was a good feeling to have him with me at that moment." Not great, considering that she didn't feel attached to him. But it was good, better than being with magic-haters. Heh.

Shifting slightly on her spot, the Ravenclaw dropped her gaze to where her feet started pushing against the ground, in an attempt to move the swing, even if only slightly. "Yeah, thank you again." About the offer to help. She gave a half-amused smile though as she went on, "I would've appreciated the stunt at the Prefects compartment wasn't my first as a Head Girl, though." Nothing bad came out of it, but Louisa was so tensed about everything already.

His gaze drifts momentarily to their hands as he felt hers shift around, palm now touching against palm. Glancing up again into her face he squeezes her hand again, perhaps that now has a deeper meaning, what it was his conscious mind doesnt quite grasp as of yet. "Right, you mentioned about staying at the Leaky for a few days to meet your dad-- who you havent seen in a while?" or more like most of her life ".... How did that go?" He was... curious, how it was like to meet a man as important as one's biological father who's been absent most of one's formative years. Totally trying not to think about his own situation. He cares not for the irresponsible after all.

He winced at the mention of that stunt Elijah they pulled at the Prefects Compartment "Louisa I promise you, I didnt mean any of that to happen-- not that way I mean..." words just started pouring out now, whether or not she wanted to hear it "When I saw you at Kings Cross you seemed a bit..... strange." he shifted his gaze away for a bit, trying to contain about the oddness of how he felt seeing her practically RUN FROM him before willing himself to look at her again "...It was like you were on edge or something-- and I didnt know if it was something I said or did then... or before then..." was he making any sense? "So as soon as I was able to I headed for the Prefects Compartment, just to see if you were ok y'know? Just wanted to take a peek...." he mumbled towards the end. Merlin the word CREEPER and STALKER was starting to bounce around again in his head. "SO.... when I got there Elijah was talking to all of you. And I would've just left him be--but I heard him PRETEND to be Lewis. If it was just you guys you know how he is-- but the new Headmistress was THERE-- AND the Board of Governors. I didnt know if the fool knew so I jumped in trying to get him out of trouble-- pull him away before he gets into a deeper mess. Instead he dragged me in." He was looking into her eyes now, the remorse was palpable "I swear it was not my intention to put you on the spot-- it just HAPPENED." You know the kind of happened HAPPENED between them last month? Absolutely nothing premeditated.

"I'm sorry...."

Maybe it was not as intense as their first kiss but his hand squeezing hers gave her the same skip-a-heartbeat reaction, with tinge of safety and serenity. That was something she didn't feel in more than a month, actually, which made her hold on to it by intertwining her fingers with his, keeping his hand locked with hers. That felt so much better.

No one really asked about her father's visit like that, everybody was like 'you guys should bond' or 'have fun' or 'get to know each other', no one asked her how it really went. Until now. Maybe because Vickers also lacked the father figure? Or maybe it was his always polite-and-caring nature. "For him, it was successful," she answered coolly, her feet trying to push the swing again, "He met that daughter his ex kept bugging him about. He was happy to point out my flaws, which he had nothing to do with, and more happy to point out that I was now a fully grown lady, which he also had nothing to do with, that should pursue her ambition no matter what, and he promised to be there for me more than before." Her feet fell limp then and she looked up at Vickers, frowning with a small pout. "He's an idiot. He thinks I don't know what he's doing but I'm not a fool. He's acting like those seventeen years didn't exist, that nothing was wrong. That it was so normal for someone to meet their daughter after abandoning her the minute she was born. That by promising he will be there more, fixes everything." Her hand, the one holding Vickers', miiiiight've started to squeeze in reaction to Louisa's tension. "But he's wrong. I let him feel content and happy about this summer, but he's not going to be a part of my life."

Pause...

Then it was his turn to speak about that stunt with his curly haired excuse of a friend. Louisa's cheeks reddened when he mentioned his confusion at the Kings Cross station, and she nervously let go of his hand to play with the hem of her dress, yes nervous and embarrassed. When he muttered an apology, she sighed and shook her head gently, "It's fine now. I just was mad that you put me in a position where I had to tattle on one of my.. f-friends." GAH. Shouldn't they sort this out, by the way? The whole it-is-complicated friend/relationship? Maybe later though, because there are still things that Louisa wanted to tell him first.

She began by taking the quill and wand out of her hair, letting it fall loose, one lock stood out nastily; too short and ragged...

He felt her fingers lace between his own and he gently closed any gap between their hands. There was something comfortably familiar about this but also a kind of novelty-- just last term they were both here at this very spot but everything about them now seemed morr.... vibrant.

He pressed his feet against the ground as he helped push their swing while listening to her speak about her father. Her grasp tightened and his brows furrowed ever so slightly. He can hear her talk about her father but the subtle action of her hand tensing up as she recounts the episode speaks so much more than what her words can express. She didn’t want anything to do with that man, and him with her, no matter how well meaning he may be-- which of course Vickers has no idea of knowing for certain since he has never met the man. But perhaps he understands this defiance-- if one day his father suddenly sends him a greeting card out of the blue he’d probably end up losing it without so much as a care.

And then she let go of his hand. He took that as her being upset with him, but for the train incident. He felt worse now for it, even when Louisa said It was fine now, her actions spoke volumes more to him (unfortunately for the wrong reasons this time). He drew his hand back to his lap as he dejectedly shifted his eyes on them. Awkward pause and then finally this ”Is there anything I can do to make it up to you?” he murmured ruefully, willing himself to look into her eyes to show the sincerity of his words....

.....It was then that he noticed that odd lopping of her hair as it cascades around her face. Distracted brow-furrowing. Was it just his unlikely faulty memory or did her hair not quite look like that when they were touring the Ministry?

She raised her head quickly to look at him, a bit, taken aback by his words. "I.. I didn't mean it like that!" What she said, it wasn't supposed to make him feel bad or even remorse she--

Sigh. There was only one way to explain and she better do it right away before things became even more tangled and complicated.

The Ravenclaw leaned against the swing's back and started talking, playing with the quill and the wand. "There was a cat. Golden brown mixed with snowy white, big green eyes. She hated pinkness but her owner insisted on wrapping this bright pink ribbon around her neck." Louisa chuckled, halfheartedly, her eyes fixated on the sticks in her hands. "And so the cat ran away. Her twelve years old owner started looking for her, along with a fourteen years old friend. Knockturn Alley is where all three of them end up in."

A pause followed, in which Louisa rubbed her dry eyes, cleared her throat and continued, "Bad bad decision. I didn't even know what that place is and neither did Vashti." The cryptic way was thrown away so suddenly, "But I wanted to get my cat back to prove to my mom that I was responsible and not that spoiled hasty girl." She let out an exasperrated sigh and rubbed her dry eyes once again. It was the first time ever that she told this story to someone, Vashti was there and Joshua already knew about her cat. Vickers was the first unrelated person who knows.

"But h-he was there. And he hates cats." Her surroundings started to dull in color and all movement around them somehow slowed down. "It was the first time I heard of the Cruciatus curse. And it killed my cat two months later. I wanted her ghost to get up and take revenge from the man so I buried her behind a brick in the wall of Knockturn Alley entrance." It didn't sound this stupid and silly when you were twelve. She stared and waved her wand randomly, absently. "Last year, I've had two dreams of Kitty. I wanted to visit her grave. I went there twice, both times the man would show up and I'd escape." She kept Daichi's name out of it. "Then a week before Hogwarts Express this summer, I went with a trainee Auror and a friend to get her grave out." Her wand-holding hand stilled then and she almost forgot about the boy sitting nearby, "But bringing him along wasn't enough." Her free hand touched her hair gingerly, "H-he... I'm not a brave girl, Vickers." She looked up at him for the first time since she started her tale. "I thought I c-could handle a-anything but h-he could smell my f-fear." A sob surfaced then, "And th-then he made sure I d-don't sleep at n-night by holding me s-so close to his f-filthy breath."

She paused, wiping her cheeks and containing any future sobs. "I can s-sometime feel his hand t-twisting my hair again a-and again." Which made her gather her hair into a bun again, fixing it with the quill she brought along. "It's d-didn't end there. H-he took him." And the contained sobs leaked through her words again, "J-joshua. He's g-gone. I couldn't d-do anything. I chickened out. I j-just stayed there, w-watching them g-go..."

The wand in her hand felt the emotion and magic course through the girl's body like electricity, and slowly the vines, hugging the trellis around the swing, started inching away from the passive energy that's been newly born. If you tune out the faint sniffing of the Ravenclaw, you can even hear distant, solemn humming too...

She didn’t mean it like…. wait what? Now he was confused….

He watches her slump against the swing and listens to her story… which he thought was rather random until he realized it wasn’t like that at all. The cat was her cat. The twelve year old was her. There was the former Head Girl and there was Knockturn Alley. And Vickers knew once that infamous alley is mentioned this cant be an all too pleasant story…

Thing is he had no clue how affected Louisa was in the whole tale…

His features darken as the story progresses… several questions would fire off in his head but his lips made no move to speak them. At the corner of his eye he could see her wand wavering in her hand—a danger that would usually set off all sorts of alarms in his head—but he didn’t even mind that for now, because her story just turned for the worse…

He didn’t know whether he would pull her close in an embrace or start pacing in front of the swing. She was very upset of that… THING… that happened to her. And he hated that all he can do was just sit there dumbstruck as she started to sob. So that was why she was how she was at Kings Cross. How stupidly shallow of him to think it was something about him.

The wheels in his head started to spin quickly as facts breezed through his minds eye and started getting filed away. There was an Auror—or a trainee one at least—Joshua, who was with her but sounded to have fallen in the line of duty. There was a “He” who “hated cats” and now have traumatized this girl he had started to care deeply for…

Something stirred within….

He can sense the vines doing some strange things, and again his gaze returns to the wand in her hands. Logic would state that she could be something of a livewire and would be best to stay clear of. But that incident happened weeks ago, at the time when he was unaware of, and she seemed to have handled it well, or at least kept it well hidden.

That something that stirred overrode his cautious logic and spurred him to move closer. Gingerly he rested a hand on her forearm as he peered into her face. Kindness, compassion—it was clearly etched on his features now. If she wanted a hug…or something, he was there.

He had words to say, but maybe that would come later…

This silence, with the distant humming, that made her even more vulnerable. And so she let it all out; whatever lies she'd created to feel a little better and to sleep well at night, the shame that kept tugging at her heart whenever she looked at her wand, the humiliating helplessness that resulted in her paranoia and Josh's doom. Everything was being let out, flatly and genuinely. Her head was bent down, trying to hide what could be hidden from the other Ravenclaw that so far didn't make a sound.

A part of Louisa appreciated him not making any sound, another part wanted him to speak, say that she was wrong, that she was the bravest girl on earth - it would be a big lie but it'd make her self-esteem boost. A gentle touch to her forearm made her raise her head and look into his face. Hers must've been a mess, eyes bloodshot and getting smaller with the constant weeping, her tears and snot streamed down her cheeks and even her mouth formed a sad heartbroken pout.

But then she had his eyes looking into hers, and they swooped her into this icy blue tunnel where she could see beyond... but not really. She wanted to move closer to him, too. And just close the irritating distance between them, maybe to just let his arms wrap around her. To cuddle, Nessie called it once. But she was too scared to do that, the "what if"s were so many they shackled every Louisa step or word. So she plucked her eyes away from him and conjured a handkerchief to wipe those signs of her breakdown.

"The vines... they're m-moving away from m-me.." she said, letting out a wet chuckle mixed with a hiccup.

As she turned her weepy eyes up at him, that elusive something stirred within him again, stronger this time, its presence more…. chilling. He had never seen her this…. broken… a far cry from the self-assured young lady with a crafty mind and a wicked sense of humor just the term before. He shifted his gaze up towards the vines as she spoke about them, narrowing his eyes ever so subtly at why the foliage would recoil now. Have they no sympathy for the distressed? Or do they sense something that threatens their well-being?

And to whom do they sense it from?

He shifted closer to Louisa, looping his arms around her shoulders and drew her into a hug. That comfortable closeness they shared over the summer was re-emerging, forgetting for a while where they were and whatever cares they had, now seemingly insignificant to what was just revealed to him. He lips parted with the intent to say something comforting… again speech failed him. What can he say to make her feel better when something so affronting has already happened? To say that everything was going to be okay sounded disingenuous-- even if he wanted it to be true. Because there was no assurance that everything was going to be okay, unless….

That piercing gaze scrolls down the length of her hair to where it ends so abruptly. 'I can sometime feel his hand twisting my hair again and again.' There was a deep scowl that crossed his features before he presses his cheek against her head gently, as if trying not to trigger any traumatic memories. He closes his eyes and finally finds his voice, although so quiet it was barely above a whisper "This man who hates cats....did he have a name?.... And do you remember a face to go with it?"

She felt him get even closer, his arms snaking around her shoulders, and if any sobs were left inside of her they would've come out then because she let herself sag against him and hide her face inside the crook of his neck, her hands still trying to hide those tears streaming down her eyes again. The closeness overwhelmed her and Louisa's sobs were hiccuping sighs of relief. It was the reassurance that she wasn't alone anymore, someone else took notice of what has happened - it wasn't just her responsibility now, someone shared it with her. And not just anyone, Vickers. Her relief mostly came from who he was to her, she let herself relax even more into his arms. The vines and the humming were entirely meaningless now, she was contently miserable and relieved with him beside her, the rest of the world can go to wherever.

... until he spoke.

She felt his breath on the top of her head, feeling it against her hair triggered an awful memory but the tone of his voice was greatly different so the shudder that ran through her body could be easily unnoticed. But Louisa pulled back to look into his face again, slightly frowning. "W-wha.." She expected him to say a lot of things, she even expected some rationalization but never those questions. "I.. don't remember his name." Daichi might, though, since the Slytherin introduced himself to the man a year and a half ago. "I wish I could forget his face." Adding rather bitterly, with a sniff.

....

Louisa almost gasped when a notion crept into her head, and she had to slide a bit away from him. "Vickers.. why are you asking?" Her throat going dry and her head refusing to reach that horrible conclusion.

His lips drew into a disappointed line when Louisa said she didn’t remember the man's name. She doesn’t see this of course, and he keeps his voice calm and gentle "Would Vashti know? Or anyone else do you think?" Facts were important to him see.

BUT when she said she wishes to 'forget his face' there was glimmer of... something in his eye. So she CAN identify him by sight, and by voice too most likely. He squeezed her shoulder reassuringly when the red-head suddenly pushed away from him. That question, and the look in her face compels him even moreso to keep that calm demeanor "I just want to know." he said shrugging, casually wrinkling his lips up as if they were just talking about the next day's lunch menu.

"Tell me, that gift Treyen gave you-- the Pensieve I mean...." he clarified, in case she starts getting flustered about the other gift "... has it been delivered to you?" A change of topic? Maybe... maybe not.

Wiping her nose with her conjured handkerchief, Louisa shook her head. "Vashti and I didn't talk to him." Louisa never even interacted with the man until last year with Daichi and then.. this year. She sniffed and wiped her nose again, all the while avoiding Vickers' eyes. That bit of information was to be kept a secret, mainly because the Ravenclaw didn't want Daichi's name to be mentioned at all in this kind of conversation. Her protectiveness over the boy was getting more and more obvious ever since they went out from Knockturn Alley. But Vickers wanted to know.... "Th-there's.." She tried, but no. Eventually Louisa sighed and tried to remember the man's name bu rubbing her nose bridge. "Alonso... Alfredo... I can't remember well. Something like that." She dropped her hand then and returned her gaze on his, questioning and trying to read into these questions but nothing really clicked in her head. "You're not thinking of... finding out more about the man, are you?" That would be the only bad thing Vickers ever did in his life.

Then, out of the blue, Vickers mentioned Treyen's present. Louisa's emotions were already all over the place, with that mentioned even if it was corrected shortly after the girl's face turned into a replica of a tomato. Quickly she started toying with her wand again, the vines changing attitude and not moving away anymore. "Y-yeah, of course." Sniffing & throat clearing. "It's in my house now." Why did this just come up though? Was he looking for a way to change the subject? And get it to the point where they discussed what should happen now after the party? Louisa's thoughts and concerns swirled in her head, clashed and raced. Eventually she could say only one thing, "Would you like to see it.. some day?" It was her first time seeing an actual Pensieve, it was safely placed in the drawing room where aunt Brown used to keep her antiques.

Darn another dead end. Vickers’ lips twitched disappointedly again, hearing that Vashti was unlikely a source of further information. But he caught something—she was about to say?... ”Theres?....” he murmured with bated breath. Louisa offered a few names… it was clear that she wasn’t sure and he wanted to press her further, to make her try harder to remember, to make her tell him what it was that she was dallying to give out.

He caught himself, the way he leaned in and eyed her with such an intensity of the likes of him watching his Potions mixture transform in the cauldron. He backed off, sighed quietly and leaned back into the swing "I’m sorry… if you don’t want to talk about it now… its ok." He wanted to kick himself for being so callous when it was clear her emotions were still raw.

Then she posed that question. Funny though how he wasn’t fully conscious about what he was really doing, the asking and the follow-through and all that. His icy blues meet her teary grey-blue ones… and now it was his turn to hesitate. If he says he does intend to find out more about this man—even face him—will she be upset? Panicked? Dissuade him from pursuing the matter further? ”I am just… extremely curious.” Which is true, but perhaps not the whole truth. He reaches out and takes her hand again in his ”I want to help you Louisa, get over the trauma, help you get back to being… you.” And that in itself was the whole truth.

The foliage seems to have eased up a bit, because he did notice that they didn’t seem as freaked out as they were moments before. But at the mention of Treyen’s gift he noticed her flush as never before, at least not anywhere around school. He caught himself smirking a bit as a bit of color rose to his own face. Right, lets focus on that Pensieve ”Great, so its there now- yeah I would really like to take a look at it.” Out of his own curiosity of seeing a personal Pensieve of course. Now what he can have Louisa do with it was another matter altogether.

The subject of Treyen’s gifts brought an awkward pause from him. Memories of the summer started flitting through his mind, like old home movies playing on screen ”Louisa…. about the party…” Merlin how was he going to go about this? His gaze drifts back to their entwined hands. He squeezes it tighter finding comfort in the feel of her hands within his. ”About the party, I….” what? What can he say that wouldn’t come across as awkward or inappropriate or or…

”I had a lot of fun and I hope we can do it again…”

Wait... what?

Well.. she was the one to bring it up, and yes she did want to talk about it with Vickers. But.... not details. Louisa started gathering her deflect hair again, fixing it with the quill just like she had it half an hour ago. "It's okay.. but--" He asked too many questions. "I didn't know you'd want details." This wouldn't make him feel bad, would it? He already apologized so he probably felt bad! Louisa wanted to lean against him again, and maybe squeeze his hand - that would deliver the message that he didn't have to feel bad at all, but glad.

But he already took her hand into his again, saying he wants to help her (which made up for him being 'extremely curious'). Her eyes dropped to their locked hands, another sob tried to surface. Yes, she was an emotional mess today and apparently all physical kind gestures were going to make her cry instead of smile. She was convinced it was the rock on her chest, it was crushing her heart for too long and with Vickers trying to roll it away, her heart was leaking all sorts of feelings. The sob wasn't allowed to come out, though. Instead Louisa pursed her lips, blinked away the watery eyes and sniffed. "Thankyou." Her hand perfectly fitting into his, and it wasn't like holding any of her friend's hands - guy friends, specifically, because she had plenty. Ahem.

The pensieve made her raise her gaze again, forcing a smile and trying to extend it to her eyes as she nodded. Yep, he can definitely take a look at it, or even study it and fulfill his curiosity. Just like she did when it was delivered. It also meant he had to visit her at home so... YAY.

If holding her hand made Louisa force a smile, him squeezing it and talking about the party at the same time made her heart race and her cheeks turn to girlish pink color. His last words, specially, about 'doing it again' made her teary eyes sparkle for real and her pouty mouth curved the opposite way, forming a coy smile.

She was supposed to say something now... right? But she couldn't, not at once anyways. However, she found herself looking down at their hands and biting her lower lip just slightly as her fingers crept between his. They were locked now. It expressed a part of her point, right? But she still needed to say something. Preferably what she truly felt about the party and what happened at the party. While a boy's emotions were described in one sentence, a girl's required a biiiiiit more words.

When Louisa opened her mouth to speak, she found herself chuckling shyly first. It was completely weird to laugh after an emotional breakdown... or maybe it was completely rationalized since laughing is indeed an emotional reaction as well. Either way, she looked up at him and spoke, "I.. I liked it too. I had fun, maybe more fun than you did." She was talking about the party now, "It will probably happen... again... because my birthday happens... every... year.."

Okaaaaaay, that was not what she wanted to say! Louisa quickly added, "But that's not what I mean completely!" WHAT! "No! I mean, I do mean I enjoyed the party and that it'll happen again hopefully but I also.... enjoyed other things at the party." GULP. She looked down at the swing's seat and started tracing invisible lines with her free hand. "Maybe I shouldn't be that... clingy to what happened, to what I'm talking about but..." She stole a glance up at him before going back to her sweet little distraction, "I... it didn't feel like what people think it should feel." Kissing a friend at a party should've sounded funny or embarrassing, but it didn't feel so in their case. "I mean I do remember it..." vividly even, "...and.. I--" Where should she even begin at? When she would smile every time she lied on bed at night? or when she spent the week hesitant about whether to owl him for no specific reason? or when she felt -for the first time in her teenage life- that she wasn't struggling through a dangerous relationship or doing someone a favor? but the butterflies in her stomach were brand new and felt really really good. And real.

Louisa ended up not saying any of that though, she slowly looked up at him with the same intensity and earnest as before but this time it was mashed up with concern. "What if... what if it's just... what it was." Her hand slip away from his again, but just because she's too anxious to keep it there. "I mean what if it was just... a fling?" She paused for a second and then blurted out, "A hormonal chemistry. What if it was just that?" Because what they did, who the hell wouldn't want to do it again?!! Louisa wanted to do it again, in fact she wanted to snog Vickers pretty much almost every time she saw him but she didn't want it to be the only thing.

As she waited for him to speak up again, she started biting her fingernails again.

The second those words left his lips he just knew that didn’t come out right. "I-I mean uh…. it was a fun party-- lots of laughs and stuff..." and stuff being a whole lot of other kinds of reactions not normally seen in the hollowed halls of Hogwarts. But he caught that flush of color on her cheeks and the coy smile that finally formed on her lips-- much better than the upset quivering pout she had earlier. A sly smirk tugged at his own lips, yes he may have said the PARTY, but the twinkle in his eyes as he gazed back at her conveyed there were other things that made it memorable for him too... things that didnt need to be spoken out loud.

Not that he was expecting to get so lucky again, even if her birthday, as she said, happens year after year....

Then again the way their hands were entwined, the way she clasped it tighter-- the way he reacted exactly the same way at the same moment-- had him thinking that maybe that sliver of hope he's been secretly nurturing all summer, wasnt a fool's hope after all....

But listen... LISTEN to what she is saying young man. Louisa was stuttering again-- and it wasnt a vexed stutter like what she was doing earlier. Her hand slipped off his fingers and he jerked his hand up as if to catch it-- he didnt want to let her go. It forced him to REALLY focus on what she was trying to say. He'd nod or shake his head slightly as she went on, his features perplexed, struggling to follow her words-- that she clung onto... what they had? That special moment they had together no matter how brief it was?

... that perhaps it was nothing more than a random fling?

A fling. Naturally he has heard of the word but he doesnt fully understand what it means. How can he when he has nothing to compare against? All these emotions he feels for this girl-- it was all new to him. The kind of silliness that he rolls his eyes with on other people-- he was in the thick of it right now. Was this overwhelmingly wonderful feeling something so commonplace-- or as she says now-- hormonal?

Of course his logical know-it-all inner voice starts kicking in about the technicalities of biological chemistry and emotions butthatsnotwhathesreferringto!

His gaze shifted lower until they rested on the blade of grass squished against his shoes. The swing was completely still now, although really it could've been swinging off its hinges and it wouldnt have mattered given how stunned he feels at the moment.

After a while he found his voice "Louisa... I will be completely honest with you. I don't know what a fling is. If its as shallow as it sounds then I will say what I feel for you right now.... its nothing shallow...or something I can just shrug off and enter in my journal as an interesting experience worth noting..." Although yes Louisa does have entries there... several pages in fact. Slowly he shifts his eyes towards her face, gazing directly into those grey-blues, the entire garden seemingly melting away until it was just them "I really like you Louisa, ever since we made this swing, but I've always kept my emotions in check because thats what I've gotten used to. It how I was raised. And yes I was under the impression that you were interested in other guys far better than I was and was more worth your time." He glances away as his memories immediately drifts to Paulie and Adam-- one extremely loud, the other a quieter reserve-- but both had the kind of confidence and a way they carried themselves that something Vickers admired. Maybe thats why he liked them as friends too-- they were a natural spring of something he had to constantly fill in himself. "So... just being able to hang around you-- being your friend-- I was happy with that, because it allows me to spend some time with you." He takes what he could get you know?

He pauses and he inches his hand towards hers again, bit by bit, first her pinky then her ring finger "What happened in your home over the summer-- yes I understand under what conditions they were-- but you know..... I had no regrets." Those piercing blues now looks into her grey-blues, to show to her that he speaks no lies. "You may hate me for saying this..... but looking back I was kinda thankful it happened that way... because without having felt so free.... I dont think we would have happened at all." He fingers now rests lightly within hers "My doubts and my fears wouldve paralyzed me to keeping things as they were-- to what was safe and comfortable for me-- and like everything else in my life that I would've wanted to pursue-- I had let it slip by."

Pause...

"I wouldnt want to let you slip by Louisa."

This wasn't the first time Louisa had to go through a conversation of feelings between a boy and herself. Well, she'd done it only once before and the result was... not so good. However, she was always the confident and less nervous one - she never bit her nails, like she did today, never felt her heart clawing out of her chest, like it was doing right when Vickers started talking, nor did she feel the urge to cry, like she was about to do when he said he just wanted to spend time with her even as friends. All this was completely new to her that she had to forget all about the mental notes she had of boys and just start over again.

'I don't know what a fling is.'

Louisa stopped biting her fingernails and had to keep her mouth slightly open to help with her accelerating breathing, because those words meant something serious was going on since Vickers didn't know what a fling is. She didn't know how to respond to that, how to match his genuineness. The only thing that made her worried face ease up was the mention of journals, because she got journals of her own too! With pages and pages of Vickers' eyes, Vickers' logic, Vickers'...yeah, pretty much the last three months' entries were about this guy. This unplanned similarity made her worry fade away.

'..yes I was under the impression that you were interested in other guys far better than I was and was more worth your time...'

And she was crying. It was this simple. She lowered her head, and pressed two of her fingers into her eyes pressing hard as a sniffle made its way out from the girl's mouth. Shaking her head at what he was saying, refusing to believe what it implied, Louisa dropped her hands from her face and sternly looked at him. Her eyes might be more red than greyish blue at that moment but they didn't express vulnerability but the impossibility of what he was saying. "N-no." He wasn't finished though, and so she waited for him.

Her hand stayed still as he slowly, maybe even gingerly, moved his own closer to it. She felt their fingers lacing together again with the words warming her heart, that felt highly sweet. Her tears looked endless on her cheeks, it wasn't like the ugly sobs from earlier, no. That was passive energy, while this - Merlin, Louisa didn't even know what this was! She knew she had enough experience with liars and cheaters to know and feel the honesty in his words, and she knew that her tears were never shed happily because of just words!

I wouldnt want to let you slip by Louisa.

And Louisa knew for sure that during her year-and-a-half relationship with Joao, the Brazilian boy was unable to make her feel like a queen with a sentence of ten words. Something maybe she didn't deserve but Vickers provided wholeheartedly. She smiled at that last sentence, goosebumps all over her skin, and wiped her face with a slightly shaking hand. "This is the most... genuinely touching speech I've ever heard in my life." She chuckled!sobbed before sniffing and trying to form a proper sentence.

"I did like someone." She started, knowing the story might not appeal to him, but she figured being as honest to him as he'd been to her was only fair. "But I never cuddled a pillow in my sleep wishing it was them." Her smile was starting to return once again. "I never experienced this feeling that I do with you. I am relaxed and.... happy by the mere existence of another person." She wasn't talking about usual happiness, but this stomach-dropping moments where she waited for a second of eye contact or shoulder brushing. Joao might have become a better man, but it wasn't until he acted by his cold upbringing manners with her three years ago.

Shifting nervously she went on, "I don't know how to say that. But I've always seen you as a friend because you're..." WELP. Where should she begin with? Instead she takes another route,"I'm not what you made me sound like. You missed a few things." SNIFF. "I know myself, Vick. I'm not an easy person, right? I'm even selfish sometimes... I can be way too spoiled. I'm.." She squeezed his fingers and slid closer on the swing so that her knees bumped into his leg gently. "I want you to take more time to get to know me. We can... go out. Talk. Just sit by the lake. Anything."

Because... "I don't want to let you slip by." Sniff. "And I don't want to just hang around you." BLUSH!SNIFF.

Melin! She was crying....

Panic. That was his first reaction. Vickers' lips wavered between saying something and just keeping silent as he watched Louisa dissolve into tears yet again. What did he say? Sure he knew the words he said but reducing the red-head to tears on his words wasnt what he was expecting. Then again.... he really wasnt expecting anything after having opened his heart the way he did.

But still she was crying....

He dug into his pockets and took out a folded scarf-- something he thought would protect himself in case it got unexpectedly chilly. Well now it has a more altruistic purpose.

Gingerly he neared her and patted away her tears from her glistening cheeks before offering her to take the scarf. She was smiling now, which had the corner of his lips tugging upward. Did she know how lovely she was when she smiles? Like a rainbow after the rain...

Then she started to speak '...the most genuinely touching speech I've ever heard in my life'. That was probably the best compliment he has ever heard in his life-- academic accolades included. She kept on and he can feel himself getting flustered yet again. She's like a kindred spirit. Maybe Elijah wasnt so far off about saying Louisa being a female version of him.

She always saw him as a friend..... he knew about that, he said that himself earlier-- yet when he hears the words from someone else it always stung. Why? Maybe because he knew thats what he always comes across as-- the Nice Guy. The Reliable Buddy. Not the Dashing Hero that captures everyone's imagination....

But now she spoke of her flaws. And he found himself leaning closer to her, taking both of their hands together. He nodded his head, he knew of some of those firsthand, but there was an honesty to all this admission that he valued so much, no words can ever adequately express.

"And I do want to get to know you better." he nodded earnestly. He opens his lips to say something, then clamps it shut. He wavers a few more times, suddenly feeling himself breaking into a sweat. What the heck has got him so nervous all of a sudden?

'I don't want to let you slip by..... And I don't want to just hang around you.'

Well what are you waiting for?? "Louisa, d-do you....." want to go on a date with me?. Come on say it! Eight words, one syllable each. How hard can it be?

Deep breath here we go....

"......Louisa, do you want to go steady with me? "

................
..........
......
....
..

Wait that sounded a little different....

She let out a faint chuckle when he patted her cheeks with his scarf, her hand gently rested on his hand as he continued to wipe away her tears. When did she, Louisa Carter, become a generous tearful Ravenclaw by the way? She'd cried too much today, first from fear and loss, then from surprise and joy. The handle she had on her emotions was shaken by something, apparently, and now she made a mess out of anything.

Or not.

Instead of considering what she said about her flaws, he took both of her hands into his and nodded as if he already knew those things, as if they weren't that big of a deal to be in a girl. Louisa's hands squeezed and she widened her smile just a little. Her mind drifted off again, just a bit, and she tried to remember one time she let herself list her flaws to someone, such vulnerability was completely new attitude.

Did she want to go steady with him?

She stared into his eyes for one more second, forgetting all about their surroundings, "Gladly," Louisa squeak!chuckled the answer before untangling their fingers so she could wrap her arms around his torso and snuggle closer to him.

It felt so warm and... soothing. She wanted to stay like this forever.

Funny thing about the brain. There is the conscious and the subconscious-- the first half is what you deal with in every waking moment, the other barely noticeable until something so startling happens that takes your conscious half by surprise...

... like saying steady instead of date.

But Vickers wasnt about to take that back now, not when he and Louisa were this close again since the time they spent together last summer. And hearing it out loud, he knew, in retrospect, its really what he wanted to say.

So it was with bated breath that he gazed into Louisa's eyes while she stared into his. In that momentary pause he feared she thought him a fool, or worse he completely misinterpreted her words or--

-- Gladly

Wait.... thats a good thing right?

No. Its GREAT thing!

His face lit up in this euphoric mixture of joy and excitement and relief as he felt her embrace and snuggle against him. Gladly. Yes. Affirmative. He suddenly felt like he's become lighter than air and can take flight, soaring into the clouds with this emotional high. He wrapped his arms around her and held her tightly, so much unspoken emotion in that embrace that words just fails to convey.

It was more than just agreeing to be his girlfriend. It was an unspoken affirmation of the connection they had that no one may ever understand.

He tilted his head sideways and peered into her face, as if creating this secret cocoon of happy emotions that can block away the cares of the world for a little while. Then deftly he leaned in and kissed her lightly on her lips.

He's been wanting to do that since he left her house that summer.

She closed her eyes and smiled some more. She missed this, feeling arms wrapped around her in this affectionate way. The back of her eyelids was full of glowing colorful swirls, the face of a certain unpleasant wizard was always planted there for the past month, but it took only one talk with Vickers to change that. Even if just temporarily.

When he moved his head, Louisa's eyes cracked open to see him looking closely at her. Her cheeks were still rosy but her smile faltered to a shy one just as he leaned in and kissed her. It didn't take her more than two seconds to kiss him back, the butterflies in her stomach going crazy and the world behind her eyelids turning into a joyful, lively scenery. Imagining this moment was one thing, which happened quite a lot lately, and experiencing it again was another. It wasn't the same intense kiss from summer, but it sure was just as deep, more sentimental and valuable, though, with the conversation they had few moments ago. If Louisa was able to speak without breaking this blissful moment, she would've breathed out a 'finally'.

The End

Maybe a vist to MoMo and Appa would help her. Harlow marched down from the castle to the student gardens. She was going to try any and everything she could.

Her world was falling apart and she didn't know how to stop it. She had already missed two deadlines with her publisher and if she missed the next one she was they were going to drop her. But how could she write? Every time she picked up a quill her hand quivered.

Harlow wiped the tears that had begun to pool in her eyes as she picked her way over to MoMo and Appa. Her singing pumpkins trembled as she approached. "Hey guys," she said softly. It had been a few months since she had least seen them. She plopped down next to MoMo. His leaves reached out and caressed her cheek. Which made her cry harder. "Oh MoMo its so horrible," she wailed throwing her arms around the pumpkin.