Lord Borr's First Lesson
 

Flynn made his way to the History of Magic classroom, something he had been trying to avoid doing. He felt slightly embaressed by the fact that he had once thought that Borr was the Headmaster and even more embaressed that he sensed his and Garret's brown nosing - but they still needed that invite and this class was probably the best opportunity to do so.

"Afternoon Professor," he gave a slight bow before taking his seat in the middle of the classroom.

Yes finally. Iggy strutted into the classroom. He had seen that there was a Borr lesson. And he wasn't going to miss it for the world. "Good afternoon Sir," he smiled at the fat Lord.

"Good afternoon," Lord Borr said as his gaze went from friendly to hostile. He held his hand out to Mr. Potter, expecting his payback.

"Everyone take a seat, sit down, and try to behave like men."

Will entered Lord Borr's office, grateful that so far the air seemed nontoxic. He took a seat near Ignatius, smiling at him.

Jason walked into the room a bit slowly, not sure what was going to happen here. He was ready, he supposed, and took a seat.

"I am having trouble requiring a suitable cane Sir. You will have it moments to come. By the end of the day, I hope," Iggy smiled.

He sat down in his seat to find Billium next to him. "Like men? I am a man."

"Not such the hot-shot after all, then," Lord Borr remarked and waved the boy off. "Welcome to my first lesson, class, welcome, welcome. We'll get started when all the slackers decide to grace us with their presence."

Will smirked at him, wanting to comment but holding his tongue. He didn't want to call attention to himself, except of course when it came time to earn points. He wondered what Borr was on about, though. How was Cleanliness part of History of Magic? And was Borr really qualified to teach cleanliness?

Nevertheless, Will settled back and waited for the show class to begin. This was bound to be interesting at the very least.

Flynn perched on his street with his back straight his eyes focused solely on the most important man in the room and his stuff lying neatly on his desk; quill, parchment and textbook. Although he did wonder why 'Cleanliness' was written on the bored... hopefully they weren't doing the history of magical hygiene.

Jason bowed to Lord Bor.

"Well I do want it to be perfect for you Sir," Iggy smiled. "I would hate for it to not be at the correct standard. For what is something if it is not done to perfection."

Lord Borr cleared his throat. "I haven't gotten to know all of you terribly well yet. I will, of course, but time just has not allowed it yet. I am a very busy and very important man. However...," Lord Borr paused to scan the room, get a good look at all the little adoring faces.


"... I have noticed a trend in and amongst most of you. Boys. I want someone to try and guess what trend I've noticed in you all."

Will raised his hand. "Impeccable manners and exemplary hygiene, sir?" he said hopefully. At least, that's what he HOPED he noticed. The word on the board indicated maybe otherwise.

"Dirtiness" replied Jose for a laugh

Iggy raised his hand, "That we are all of the male sex?" he smiled as he stated the obvious.

Kingston smiled at how interesting his topic was. Cleanliness eh? Hearing Borr's question, he raised his hand,hoping he'd get it right.


"Is it that some boys are sloppy, my Lord?"

"We are not clean as the girls Lord Bor" Jason told him bowing to Lord Bor.

Lord Borr hugged his belly and laughed out loud. "Half of you are as dimwitted as you look, and the other half is surprisingly sharp. Interesting. Very interesting. I think my Leading Lad Mr. Wendleworth said best - some of you are just sloppy and I personally am appalled at the thought of you coming near me."


Lord Borr held up his hands in front of his face. "We'll start today with your hands. If you're going to men one day," which obviously not all of them were going to make it, the blooming idiots, " then you need to learn the importance of - " Lord Borr turned and pointed at the board. "Cleanliness!"


"Everyone get up and look at your neighbor's hands. Look at their nails and how clean their hands are! Give them a grade using this system:

Lord Borr scrawled the grading system on the board. "Up! Observe and grade!"

Trey looked at Will's hands, pretending to put extra effort in finding any sort of dirt or grime. He turned them over this way and that, looked between each finger, and each wrinkle. Trey gasped sarcastically so that only Will would see. "I do think there is a spot of dirt under your right thumb nail Will! But otherwise they look good. I'm sorry but I'm going to have to give you an Acceptable on this one." He finished with a grin.

Kingston gave a satisfied smiled once Lord Borr had said that he had said it best. Looking down at his fingers, he saw that they were perfectly clean. With a smile, he looked at his neighbor who was Iggy.

"I do say when was the last time you cleaned your fingers?" He asked him with a horrified look. "You get a D. How disgusting." Kingston shuddered, moving a bit to his right to get away from Potter.

"Will, my friend, you get an O! Outstanding work on your nails," he mused, leaning into his nails. "Really, very nice."

Jose looked at Barry's hand and said "I think your are an A Barry"

Hitachi, naturally sitting by a Slytherin, stood up and looked at Clifford's nails. He raised his eyebrows and mumbled, "Acceptable...." He sat back down and said aloud to Lord Borr, "Professor, the neighbor to my left, specifically Clifford Carden, I believe, has nails that reach 'Acceptable'."

Flynn got up and rather loudly exclaimed, "Someone grade mine!!!" as he stuck out his fingernails for all to see. He had to admit, his nails weren't something he had particularly cared about in the past.

Will laughed. "Compared to most days, my hands are spotless. But I'll take your A..." He glanced at Trey's hands. "I'm gonna see your A and give as good as I got. A." They were clean enough, he supposed. He grinned at Kingston. "Yours are so clean and purty-- do you buff your nails? They shine! O, fer sure."

Jason looks at Jose's hands, you get an E youmg man" Jason told him

Iggy eyed Kingston. "You sure you aren't looking at your own? For I cleaned mine this morning. I cannot stand dirty finger nails. Especially my own. I take pride in my appearence." He looked down at Kingston's. "Yours look rather unclean yourself. So do not point the gun at those better than you."

Jason gives himself an E- Jamie would not let him look bad, plus he played Qudditch as he had no neighbor that close.

Will smiled at the little twerp. "I'll grade you, come here..." he said with a friendly grin.

The completely random and strange request caused Clifford to blink in surprise. This bloke wanted him to study another guys nails? That was so ... not normal. He didn't want someone else looking at his hands! It was weird!

He wasn't about to disobey a direct order though, and stayed still as Hitachi examined his fingernails. Weird. Weird. Weird. He'd never been self-conscious about his hands.. but now he suddenly was.

"Uhm - And.. And I'll give Hitachi a ..." He gave the boy's hands a quick glance before looking back up. WEIRD! "... a P. For Poor." Heh. Heh.

Hitachi shook his head at Clifford's grade and knew he was just being petty. He shifted his seat a couple of feet to the right so he was sitting next to Ignatius. "Erm, I need you to grade my nails as Clifford seems incompetent to do so, Ignatius." He held out both his hands which were shining and spotless.

Lord Borr cleared his throat. He clearly was dealing a less than bright group. "To receive a passing grade - the finger should be SO clean that you would have no qualms whatsoever with putting your neighbor's finger in your mouth." And Lord Borr knew that only his hands were that clean. Maybe Mr. Wendleworth, perhaps even young William, but clearly no one else should be passing.


"Re-evaluate!"

Will grimaced. I don't care HOW clean their hands are, I would have qualms putting the fingers of ANY of the blokes in my mouth. Gross-a-rama! he thought.

Hitachi's mouth dropped and immediatley he retreated his hands into his pockets. He looked at Clifford and smirked. His nails were acceptable, meaning Clifford's new neighbor would still have nightmares tonight.

Hitachi sighed and looked at the professor again. "Professor Lord Borr, is this really necessary?" He asked.

Jason thinks to himself ,no one is putting their fingers anywhere in his ears, mouth, nowhere.

"Well clearly I need re-evaluation young William!" Trey said with a slight laugh. "However I've seemed to have graded you properly, so what do you say? Have another go at them?" Trey finished placing his hands palm down on the desk.

Jose looked at Barry's and thought they were very clean but just a bit to long.

"You, better than I am?" Kingston asked with an amused look. "As the matter of fact my nails are very clean. And I do take pride in my appearance, Potter. And besides, Will here evaluated my nails. They are O."

Kingston's eyes widened at Borr's words. Put their neighbor's nails in their mouth?! "What if their mouths are dirty, my lord? Surely I wouldn't want to dirty my nails from someone's mouth."

Oh please. Oh heaven's above, please don't make me put my fingernails in someone's mouth."

In his mouth? He wanted to barf. Instead of 're-evaluting' or put in a poisition where he had to put someone's fingers in his mouth he simply sat back down and watched everyone else. No harm in not participating.

"Well you were saying mine were unclean. So if mine are, so are yours," Iggy retorted. "Billium I am sure must've been mistaken."

He agreed with Kingston, "Yes. I would rather not dirty my nails on someone else. I prefer to know where my fingers have been. Since I do not know where my partner's mouth may have been I do not intend to touch it."

Hitachi eyed Clifford and imitated an animated barf. He shook his head and said, "Oh, god no. I don't want to inherit the black plague or something."

Cale turned to his neighbor, Shel, who was currently grading the hands of the person next to him. But Cale was the last seat in the row. "Care to grade my nails?" he asked Shel with a grin. Oh, how this lesson was amusing him.

Jason feels completely left out. Jason thinks if Cale was here, he could help him. Man, how does Barry get two answers and I get none Jason thinks to himself. Plus Barry has been mean to him all this year. What a great family member-not Jason says to himself in his head.

Hitachi smirked and rolled his eyes lazily. "You can talk smack all you want but your pettiness exceeds the behavior of a 7 year old. An improvement, Clifford, an improvement."

Lord Borr sighed, hard and heavy. "Oh please, boys! You are getting way ahead. I did not SAY to put your neighbor's fingers in your mouth. It was only to give you all an example. Are you all truly that stupid? Truly?" Lord Borr shook his head, sighed, and shook his head again. They truly were. "We'll get to mouth cleanliness later, but one lesson at a time!"


"Now - you would - let's all put the grades we received on the board. Don't be ashamed if you did not pass. You won't be leaving this class with less than passing grades. Now, put your name and your grade up here on the board. AND NO DALLYING ABOUT!"

Jose walked up to the board and put an O on it.

"Oh please stop. You're acting like a little child," he snapped at him, getting very annoyed at how he was still on the topic. Turning his head back at Borr, he looked at the older man with great respect.


As the man spoke, Kingston walked towards the board and held the chalk. Writing his name in neatly, he put up his grade, which was an O. "Sir, since the chalk dirtied my hands may I go wash them?" Kingston asked, with a sweet smile.

Will ambled up to the board and put down his name:

He dusted his hands off and shoved them in his pockets, returning to his seat.

For someone who had just received a pretty, pretty P, this was asking quite a lot. Shel resisted another grin, and nodded.

"Let's see," he said, examining Cale's hand. "You get a trip T - that's for Troll, three times," he explained, eyes twinkling with mischief. "Sorry, Cale, but you should take more care of your hands. And nails."

He smiled, before adding, "Well, to be more serious, I'd give you an E. Exceeds expectations, man."

Then he held out his. "Grade mine. Re-grade, I mean. Please."

Hitachi almost started to laugh at Lord Borr's comment. He ignored Clifford and stood up. He walked to the board and wrote his name and the grade A on the board. He ran his hands through his head and thought about how stupid, confusing, and pointless the lesson was before he went back to his seat. He took his History of Magic notebook and threw it onto the pile of other textbooks and notebooks. He clearly was in no need of it.

Trey glided up to the board. As he passed Lord Borr's desk, he stopped and bowed to the 'very important' Professor quite regally. He continued to the board and wrote with his left hand:

Trey Kingston - (A) Acceptable

He passed back by the Professor once more delivering yet another bow and glided effortlessly back to his seat.

At first, Cale hadn't realized that Shel was joking and was about to retort on how his hands looked totally fine, when he caught on. Duh. Stupid Cale. "Thanks man," he said with a grin.

He hurried to the board and wrote "Cale Newell-E" with the chalk, then went back to his seat. Upon his return, Cale took a look at Shel's hand. "Hmmmm, I'd give them at least an E. Why, someone gave you a failing grade?" he asked in confusion.

Jason Potter Weasley - E and E written on the board as he bows to Lord Bor.
Too bad Jason is not important to anyone but himself Jason thinks to himself

Iggy chuckled, "You are such a brown noser," he muttered towards Kingston.

He stood up and headed towards the board. He "accidentally" tripped and rubbed off Kingston's grade. "Oops." He picked up the chalk and wrote in his cursive handwriting, his own name, followed by an E. And then replaced Kingston's O with a D.

He returned to his table and sat down.

Cale rolled his eyes as Shel rewrote his grade on the board. "I didn't see any dirt on them," he told his friend in a whisper once he had returned to his seat. Cale examined his own fingernails again. Hmmm, if this was how every lesson was going to be, he'd have to make sure his nails looked pretty. An O would have been nice.

Maybe he'd ask Anna if she had a manicure set he could borrow or something.

Glaring at Potter once he rubbed off his grade, Kingston took out his wand and pointed it as his fingernails. Muttering a spell, Potter's nails became very dirty. With a satisfied grin, Kingston took the chalk and put up an O for him and a T for Potter.

"I say, Sir. Mr Potter's nail do seem awfully dirty. I suggest you check them, Sir. " Kingston told Borr, standing next to the fat man with a wide grin.

"Now who's being childish," Ignatius said, shaking his head. He peered down at his nails and his eyes widened. How dare that stuck up child ruin his perfectly manicured finger nails.

That boy meant war. He pulled out his wand and cleaned his nails. He would have to get them manicured again, next time he went home. He rubbed off the T and the O and replaced his own with an E, and Kingston's with a P.

"Neither do - or did - I," Shel said, with a shrug of sorts, his voice low to ensure that only Cale could hear him. "But I guess it's okay."

Quote:

Originally Posted by n1fanharry Barry said to shel as he sat down "Only doing what I should"

Shel smiled lightly, as if to say "No problem." It was, after all, just a bit of nail and dirt evaluation. Still, like Cale had said - An O would have been nice.

"Not I," he remarked, changing his grade once more. "You're the one who keeps changing the grades. If I didn't know any better I'd say you were jealous of me. I suggest you go sit down, Potter." Kingston told him, putting up an O for him and a -T for Potter since he'd annoyed him far too much. Pointing his wand at the boy's grade and his own, Kingston made then impossible to erase. Unless if used by magic, of course.

"Changing the grades? I have not. I thought yours said D. So when I accidentally rubbed it off I replaced what I saw," Ignatius said. "So you are the insecure one. You keep changing the grades." He chuckled, "I wouldn't be jealous of you in a million years. There is nothing you have that I would be jealous about."

"I, sir, am not listening to you anymore." Kingston told him. Turning to face Borr, he gave a bow and apologized, "I am very sorry you had to see that, my lord. Child's bickering if you ask me. Again, I am sorry for disturbing your class. Please forgive me." After Kingston lifted himself up and walked back to his desk, hoping Borr would accept his apology or he'd be a goner.

"You, Mr Wendleworth, embarrass my class. One who brown-noses so much, usually intends to rise above one's station. But since you cannot go any higher, except possibly king, but that isn't going to happen, you are a joke," Ignatius shook his head.

"I apologise for my peer's rudeness, he seems not to understand one's place in society. We are better than those that need to brown nose to get somewhere in life," he sighed, and returned to his seat.

Back in his seat, it was taking all of Cale's self control to not burst into laughter. The whole battle between Iggy and Kingston was absolutely hilarious. And, Cale had the teensiest feeling that Kingston would get away with it all, since he was notorious for being Borr's favorite little teacher's pet.

Waiting patiently for the Professor's reply, he took to staring at his nails again.

“Really now?” Thump snapped back at this kid. Pfft. Who was he to be telling me what to do? “Well its actions like theirs that’s gonna get us back in first so you should support them too.” Thump said smiling at the pair. They could argue all class if they lost points doing it. He didn’t care.

Antwone looked to his fingers. He was, actually disappointed. He had a bad habit of chewing his nails and they all looked uneven. His hands were smooth, yes, but the look of his nails were really less to be desired. He had wanted to fix his nails but he couldn't help but wonder what this had to do with History of Magic. Jezzabell had mentioned during the Hogsmeade visit that the girls were being taught etiquette. Now that he realized, this was his first instruction from a Ministry official, and already he could see that this was not the kind of class his uncle and his parents signed him up for.

Still though, he was interested in how to correct his unclean hands. It didn't help that he had just return from a sloppy lunch. A piece of meat pie was still on the top of his knuckles and there was a stain of it at the web of his thumb and index. Pathetic, he thought to himself. He didn't think class would have criticized his hands, though, he would have cleaned himself up in the bathroom if he'd had known.

Antwone trotted up to the board and wrote the grade he thought he deserved: A big white "Dreadful". He figured he would not get the lowest grades for his hands at least being smooth. Or would his smooth hands be critiqued as not man enough. His Muggle mother always said rough hands made a man, but that was Muggles. Wizards didn't use their hands, in fact, he heard that using ones hands as a wizard was a kind of insult to the name. Yes, Dreadful would do.

Godfrey's mum insisted that his father take him and all six of his brothers to get manicures every 2 weeks while at home. He hid the glass-like reflection of his nails from everyone by wearing longer sleeves in his robes. He sat in the back of the class listening to the droning of Berty Borr wondering how this all related to History of Magic. Godfrey wondered to himself what this class would be like if it were taught by a ghost instead.

"Don't talk back," Antwone whisper to the younger Hufflepuff student. "Just get through it alright. Our parents aren't going to settle for this. Next year we'll have Hogwarts back, trust me. Just go along with it, obey the professor, no matter how much to agree with this lesson we're having."

Sebastian was stunned for a moment by the older boy's words, was about to reply, but shut his mouth, winked, and whispered to the Ravenclaw, "I've been having to do alot of agreeing of late. It's being drilled into my system I think."

"Don't let that happen though," Antwone tried lowering his voice a little more, if their conversation continued the ministry official would surely listen in. "Keep your mind, just hide it from them. Cooperate. The time will come. Now, let me look at your filthy hands."

He gave a small smirk to the boy.