Here is my response to a dare from Biochemkris

her dare was



Biochemkris' Dare:
*an electrical engineer with no knowledge of magic comes to Hogwarts
*the central theme must involve Kraft macaroni and cheese
*werewolves and vampires must take over the school
*Dumbledore must blow his nose at a feast
*someone must say, "Well, at least you all didn't dream about that guy with the cheese. I don't know where that came from."
Due date: 29th Feb.

and my response titled "Conductivity" is

As Harry and Ron walked up towards the Great Hall they distinctly heard what they thought was singing, “is that what I think it is”, asked Harry… has a first name, “I’m not sure what it is,” said Ron. The two got nearer and the song got louder…oh I love to eat it everyday… “no way”, said Ron, “I haven’t heard that song in years….” it’s b-o-l-o-g-n-a
“what song”, asked Harry, “oh come on Harry,” said Ron, “you lived with muggles for eleven years and you never heard the theme song for Oscar Meyer Bologna?” “Nope,” said Harry how’s it go?” Ron looked at him for a bit to see if he was joking or not, he cleared his throat a little and began, “my bologna has a first name, it’s o-s-c-a-r, my bologna has a second name, it’s m-e-y-e-r, oh I love to eat it every day and if you ask me why I’d say……that oscar meyer has a way with bologna” Ron finished with a bow.
Harry fakes clapping, amused he says, “that’s all well and good mate, but why are all of the students singing it, I thought we were a Kraft Macaroni and Cheese school.” Ron screwed up his face a bit, “yer right we are, maybe they don’t know the words to that one…” the two walk in to the hall as the singing dies away.

Hermoine runs up to the pair as they enter, “where have you been, they’ve been singing that stupid song all morning,” Hi Hermoine,” says Ron, “yea we heard it, aren’t we a Kraft Macaroni and Cheese school?” “Of course we are” she answered looking preturbed at Ron’s question, “that’s why it was a stupid song”, she finished. “Hey, I’m glad the two of you are here,” said Hermione, “ I want you guys to look at this” she handed the pair an old piece of parchment. Students beware, do you know who your neighbor is? Vampires and werewolves have been sighted near your country, they could be you co-workers, they could be your teachers, they could be your friends or your children. If you see anyone who looks suspicious, do not attempt to restrain them, call the MoM immediately, yours in truth, Wolfe Blitzer, Senior Investigator, MoM Department of Fantastic Beasts.

“well,” said Hermoine, “what do you think of that?” “what’s the big deal,” said Harry, “Lupin’s a werewolf and most suspect that slimey ole Snape has vampire in him, neither of them are all that harmful,” he said. “And besides,” said Ron looking around the Hall,
“as for suspicious,” he motioned, “take your pick.” Harry, Ron and Hermoine headed back to the Gryffindor’s table and sat down to get breakfast. “I just think, with the feast tonight,” whispered Hermoine, “we might want to be a little more careful.” “Ochjao, hanaowef, wff walldd hmandfai” Ron swallowed his macaroni noodles with a glass of juice and repeated, “we will, Hermoine, we’ll look out”

Later, during Potions Harry decided to have a little fun with Snape, “uh Professor, can you tell me if there is a cure to the bite of a vampire?” “As I’ve told you before Mr. Potter,” Snape said with quiet politeness, “you will raise your hand if you have a question, and that’ll be five points from Gryffindor.” Harry shrugged of the points and raised his hand. “What is it Mr. Potter?” asked Snape getting more aggitated, “I was wondering, after you, uhmm, I mean, a person, is bitten by a vampire, is there a cure?”
Snape’s eyes narrowed at Harry’s slip and answered, “no Potter, once bitten, the blood of the vampire is with the victim for life,” then he smirked a little, “as are the advantages.”
Seamus quickly raised his hand, “Professor what are the advantages to being a vampire?”
“Well, Mr. Finnegan,” started Snape as Harry and the others listened intently, “Vampires can transform at will between their human and bat-like form, they can read other’s minds when near them and they can summon victims to them when hungry.” Snape continued, “once bitten, the victims of a vampire form an allegance to the biter and they combine their talents together to strengthen the whole pack, each pack or sect as it is referred to correctly, is tied to each other sect like a pyramid each originating with the original Vampire Queen.”

“wow,” said Ron, “now I know Snape must be one, did you see his glare and amazed look as he described the Queen Vampire.” Hermoine jumped in, “oh Ron, you would believe anything wouldn’t you, next you’ll be saying that the whole school is being taken over by vampires and werewolves.” The three continued walking towards transfiguration class when they noticed a man walking in the hallway looking lost. He wearing a uniform and sort of a lab coat on top. “Excuse me,” he said to the trio, “I seem to have lost my way, I was supposed to be going to the,” he pulls out a note and reads, “Headmasters office…some gent named Mr. Dumbledore?” Ron laughed, “you mean Professor Dumbledore?” the face of the man lit up, “oh is he a professor, what did he get his PhD in?” Ron looked puzzled, “his what?” the man responded, “you said he was a professor I assumed he earned a PhD from somewhere,” again Ron looked at the man as if he were speaking meremish, “look mate, who are you and what did the Headmaster want with you anyway?” the man looked at the trio again and smiled, he handed them a small white card with some writing on it, John Wilson, electrical engineer “you can’t find it, I’ll design it!” Ron looked up at the man and asked, “so what does the Headmaster need designed?” the man looked up and down his clipboard until he found it, “ah here it is,” he read out loud, “Dear Mr. Wilson, I would like to have you design an electrical foot warmer for me, I have tried to get my friends to send me socks as gifts but they either don’t catch my hints or just don’t get it. I have “other ways” of keeping my feet warm but I have heard from a close friend of mine named Arthur Weasley, that an electrical device may be more reliable, sincerely Albus Dumbledore.”
Hermione gasped, “an electrical device more reliable than magic?” Ron looked over and beamed, “Dumbledore called my dad a close friend.” Harry then spoke up, “oh well Profes…ummm I mean Mr. Dumbledore’s office is farther down that hallway and to the left near those big statues, just say “conductivity” and I’m sure the doors will open.”
As Mr. Wilson walked away, Ron noticed a lot of hair on back of the man’s neck and started to say, “hey Harry you don’t suppose he’s a …,” Harry cut him off, “oh give it a rest Ron, come on.”

The three headed back up to the common room, Hermoine announced “macaroni and cheese” and the portrait hole opened up. Ron and Harry fought each other over the softest puffy chair while Hermoine got out a book and started reading. Before long the boys were each snoring in harmony to a late afternoon nap while Hermoine was holding her book over one ear and her fist against the other, trying to finish the chapter on werewolves. Harry suddenly shouted out, “wha, no, I didn’t…..whaddya mean….not cheddar……sssss”, he fell back asleep. Hermoine had to hold back the tears, “what on earth was that about?” she asked the empty room. Then it was Ron’s turn, “uh..uhn..Uncle…. Dumbledore…so nice to see you……,” Hermoine was on the floor rolling in spasms…..she was roaring so loud that the two of them awoke. “Hermoine,” yelled Harry, “are you alright, have you been jinxed?” Hermoine got control of herself and finally explained that she almost wet herself with laughter at the two of them dreaming. “You should have heard what you two were saying,” she giggled, Ron said, “hey I remember something about Dumbledore and my father being brothers,” Harry looked at both of them and said, “yeah, well at least you all didn’t dream about that guy with the cheese, I don’t know where that came from.”


thanks......fang

please let me know if it's accepted so I post Cassirin

evlpez

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