Isobel smiled, glancing in the mirror. She looked okay now, but she knew she'd probably look worse later. This would take a lot out of both of them. But Isobel was willing to go through it to help Emily. She wanted to make sure that Emily was the best auror that she could be. They would probablyl need quite a few lessons, but that would be okay. They could take as long as they needed. This was a good skill to have, it was why she had made Evander teach her it. She had a feeling Emily would be able to master it too. She was a clever girl.

"Well...we can keep going until you get it." She nodded with a smile. "It took me a while." She added quickly, to hopefully make Emily feel a bit better. Well. They better get started, because the quicker they did. The quicker they could get home. "Okay...start by clearing you mind of your thoughts."

Emily nodded, she figured it was the case, but she couldn't help but feel a little inadequate at not being able to do it yet. She'd been trying for two months now. Sigh. Oneday... she would get it.

Taking up her position opposite Izzy, Emily closed her eyes for a moment, clearning her mind of all thoughts, all memories and all emotion. Just a blank canvas, or an empty room. All she could hear was her breathing...

Looking back up, wand in hand at her side- she wouldn't use it unless she absolutely had to- and gave Izzy a nod. This was as ready as she was going to get.

She was good to go.

Isobel had a slight feeling of how Emily was feeling. It had been really frustrating not being able to do it, so she only hoped that Emily would get it soon. It would be a good day. Izzy smiled at her, glancing at her wand. Hmm. She hoped Emily wouldn't hex her, but she was used to it, so it was okay. And she could give as hard as you can. "Any time you want me to stop just say....or shout out." Rather Isobel smiled. She didn't want Emily to feel that she had to push herself too much. Sure she wanted her to get it, but didn't want her to overwork hereslef, they did work tomorrow afterall. Izzy smiled as she waited for Emily to clear her mind of all thoughts. She knew it was hard, so she didn't really expect Emily to be that good right now. It had taken her almost 2 years to get it.

"Okay..." Izzy nodded, smiling. She hoped this wouldn't be too bad. She took a breath before pointing her wand. "legilimens"

It happened again.. just like the last time, and the time before... she had no control over her thoughts and her memories. But unlike last time, where there were flickering moments of her life, more or less like a slide show or a photo album, this was... more contained.

A single memory washed over over, as if she had taken a step back in time.

She twelve, it was the summer holidays and she was stuck in her fathers office working on her potions. The ingredients layed out before her included beetle eyes, dittany, nettles and dandellion roots. Her cauldron was simmering away, a mist formed on the surface with a light lilac infusion beneath. Her textbook lay open on the floor along with scrolls of parchment and empty ink wells. Her father sat behind his desk, watching....

But the memory flickered and changed...

Laying on a patch of frozen browned grass, she looked over the cliff edge down at the valley below, and around at the mountains. Her hands were frozen, her hair clung to her face and her cheeks were red from the stinging wind. She didn't mind all that much ...

And again....

She was six this time, her room was dark... pitch black with a small stream of light filtering through her curtain from the moon. He was there... in her room... wand in one hand... and a silver blade in the other. She couldn't talk, she couldn't scream... she just watched...

"NNnnnooo!", yelled Emily, fighting with all her might to keep Izzy out. In her haste she had dropped her wand... leaving it forgotten on the floor.
Rubbing her temple Emily tried to recover....
It hadn't lasted long, but she had seen enough in that time.

Isobel had had a feeling this would happen. That Emily wouldn't be able to control her thoughts. She knew what it felt like though, it had been horrible to have Evander in her thoughts, even though he had been her boyfriend at the time. Izzy suddenly realised why she hadn't taught anyone else this, it felt a little awkward to be looking at Emily's memories. Memories that she knew Emily probably didn't want her to see. Isobel tried not to pay too much attention to them, she didn't want Emily to feel bad or anything. She knew what it felt like, and it was a horrible feeling. She blinked as Emily shouted out, and lowered her wand looking at the young trainee. She felt bad for her. Shoving her wand into her holster she stepped towards the girl.

"Come here..." She mused, pulling the girl into a quick hug. She didn't know why she did it, but she knew that she'd appreciated hugs when she had been learning. Izzy paused, wandering over to her back, and pulling out a chocolate bar. Handing it over she spoke to Emily. "Eat that...and then we can carry on if you want....I found that chocolate helped..." Because she loved it.

Not only had she... failed. But now Izzy was hugging her? Why was she hugging her? ... Emily stood there, frozen, not at all comfortable with the gesture. She knew Izzy meant well, but it wasn't something she was used to. She didn't say anything though, didn't want to offend her colleague.
"Thanks," she murmured taking the chocolate and breaking off a bit. Chocolate was good... and it did help.

"I'm sorry... I'll... try harder this time."
And she meant it. This was not going to be a waste of Izzy's time, she would try harder.

Isobel could tell that Emily wasn't comfortable with the hug. Opps. Isobel smiled at her, reaching down to pick up the girls wand. She didn't want her to forget that. It wouldn't be good at all, and she didn't want to give anyone a reason to say that they weren't doing their jobs properly. After handing Emily wand back, she wandered back over to where she had been again. She was up for trying however many times Emily wanted to.

"No...it's hard Emily. I don't expect you to be prefect on your first time." She would've been a bad teacher if she was like that. "Ready for another go?"

Taking her wand back, Emily still couldn't shake the thought that she had failed. But Izzy did make her feel a bit better. After all if it had taken her two years to learn... then really she wasn't doing too badly.

"I know... I just have high expectations," she said shrugging, giving Izzy a small smile. Shaking out her arms a bit--because it made her feel a bit better and more focused, she cracked her neck and cleared her mind again. This took her a little longer than it had previously.

After a moment, she opened them and stood, poised and ready...
"I'm ready," she said with a nod, all business like again.

Isobel smiled. She was glad that Emily had high expectations. It was good. "That's not a bad thing..." Izzy mused with a smile, as she pulled her wand out of her holster again. "I mean..." She tried to think about it. "I think it'll make you a better auror, because you'll want to achieve the best." She mused with a smile. Isobel hadn't had high intentions when she was younger, prehaps she would've gone straight into being an auror if she had. But that wasn't what she needed to think about now.

"Okay..." Isobel smiled, glad that Emily wanted to have another go. She knew Emily would have to push at it. To get it right. Raising her wand again, she spoke. "legilimens" Hopefully it wouldn't be so bad this time.

She'd braced herself, her muscles tensed slightly. With every ounce of energy she had left she focused on keeping her mind clear of anything... but... it didn't quite work out. Slowly it happened again. She couldn't resist...

Emily sat in a room with her parents and another family... the Black's. Xavier sat there looking expensive and smug, how she loathed him, even if at the time she thought he was cute. Her parents were being friendly and pouring drinks... This was the day they signed her life away, but not forever.
She smoothed out the skirt of her dress. One of the ones she never wore. Dresses and skirts were so impractical and uncomfortable. Emily much preferred her skinny leg jeans, boots and singlet. Xavier winked at her... in reality, she wanted to gag. In her memory she blushed. How naive was she?!

Aware that she was failing, that she'd let Izzy in, Emily flicked her wand in her direction, aiming to disarm only.

Isobel felt that awkward feeling again as she looked at Emily's memories again. She was kind of glad that she knew Emily quite well, because at least it wasn't a stranger looking at her memories. Isobel wouldn't like that, so she had a feeling that Emily wouldn't like it either. She tried not to pay attention to what she was seeing in her mind. She knew Emily probably didn't want her to really see these things, so she only thought it was polite to not look at them that much. The memory did confuse her a bit, because she was sure that Emily didn't have a boyfriend, but she wasn't about to question it. It wasn't her place too.

Oh. Emily had disarmed her. Isobel smiled. "That's better..." She mused with a smile, reaching down to grab her wand. At least the girl hadn't hexed her.

Emily heaved a sigh of relief, smiling brightly as the memory stopped. She really didn't want to see that twits face again. But she'd done it!... sort of... not really. She used her wand, not her mind to repel Izzy. But it was progress. So she would be happy about it.
"Thanks," she said smiling. "I guess it's a start."

Really she was thankful for these lessons, and thankful for Izzy... she figured Damien wouldn't give her the time of day for this, plus he was the last person she wanted in her head. Not that it mattered. Memories were just memories...
"So... you and Van were close back in the day?"

Isobel was glad that Emily had managed it. Okay, so she had used her wand, but she'd still managed to repel her. That was a start. She knew Emily would get it. "Exactly...and you'll get better. I know you will." She had a lot of faith in Emily. She kind of reminded her of herself when she was younger. "Next time try not to use your wand..." She mused with a smile.

Oh. Van. Isobel's smiled faltered a little. She didn't really like talking about her past too much, that's why not many people knew about their history. "We used to be really close." She mused, leaning against the sink. She figured it didn't really matter that much if Emily knew about her previous relationship with Evander. "We dated whilst we were training."

"Sure thing." Emily flicked her wrist, returning her wand back into its holster. No wand. Should be interesting. "How do you do it though?... with your mind?" She couldn't figure it out, she could think... she knew that she didn't want Izzy in there, not because she had anything against Izzy, just that she had a thing against anyone messing about in her mind, but she could never just... push them out.

Turning on the tap, Emily washed her hands. Call it what you want, she wasn't OCD or anything, she just liked having clean, non-sweaty hands.
"You... dated?" Yeah that was surprising. Turning back to Izzy, she noticed she didn't look particularly happy. Of course. They weren't dating any more.. maybe it ended badly?
"I'm sorry... it's none of my business."
Not her business at all. Emily metally kicked herself for asking in the first place.

How did she do it? Isobel thought for a moment. She didn't really know how to answer that. She just did it automatically now. "You just get used to it..." Hopefully. Isobel had, so she really hoped that Emily would too. "I don't really know how to explain it....it's like automatic." Which probably sounded a bit weird. But after she had been dooing it for so long, she just couldn't put into words how she did it. "You'll get it." She had faith in her. Lots of faith.

Oh. Was it really surprising that she and Evander had dated? Hmm. Isobel nodded her head. It did surprise her how she wasn't that sad when she talked about it. "Yeah, for about 3 to 4 years." She nodded with a smile. It had been a perfect time in her life. Shame it had ended so badly. That was what she was sad about really, how it had ended. "It's okay."

Emily laughed lighty. She couldn't help herself... seriously automatic? Well then there was something wrong with her because that sensor wasn't working. "Thanks Iz... I'll see what I can do." She was still smiling. Really she found it a little ridiculous, but it didn't mean she didn't take it seriously, and if it was something that she would just get used to, or develop, then thats what she would do.

Three to four years. Well now that wasn't just dating. That was a serious relationship.
"Wow... thats quite a while." Longer than any relationship she'd ever had. Ugh.
Thinking about it, she could see them together, Van and Izzy that is... and she didn prefer that idea to her and Squid, but seeing as it hadn't worked out, then they probably weren't meant to be together. Everything happened for a reason.

"Trust me..." Izzy smiled at her. She know it sounded a bit weird, but that was okay. "When you can do it....you don't forget how to do it." She mused with a nod. That was what she had meant, but maybe she hadn't explained it very well. Hopefully Emily would get what she had meant now. Because at least then she would understand. "We can have another practice next week maybe....let you get some rest now." Because it was pretty draining this stuff. It was why she didn't practice it too often.

"Yeah....I loved him." And she hadn't told anyone that. Only really Armen and Evander knew that. In a way part of her would probably always love him. She shrugged though. "It ended when he went undercover." She didn't say anything about him not telling her, about Evander leaving her. Isobel didn't want Emily to think low of Evander. Sure he had hurt her a lot, but he'd done it for a good reason. A reason that Isobel knew now.

"Right... I'll keep that in mind." It did make a bit more sense now. Emily pulled herself onto the counter beside the sink, she wasn't all that tired, but since they were chatting why stand? She was beginning to wonder if Izzy would want to give her more lessons, but was reasured at the mention of next week. "That would be great.. I'd really appreciate that." And until then she'd keep clearing her mind and reading. Sure it wasn't something you could learn from a book, but she would try. "And Izzy... thanks... for all this."

Yeah she wasn't very good at the whole accepting help thing, but she was working on it.

"That would have been tough," she said, listening as Izzy told her how they're relationship ended. Undercover... something that was part of being an Auror at times. It was hard, somthing she didn't particularly look forward to. Not if she had a significant other or a family... not being able to tell them anything...

"Izzy... did you know he was undercover?"
They had trained together, so it was possible she was in on it. But usually they were strictly hush hush, and that was reason enough for a relationship to come to an end.

It was sad.

"It's fine." Isobel was really up for teaching Emily until she got it. It might take a while, but Isobel didn't really mind. Emily would be a better auror she could do this, it would really help. She also had a feeling that Emily would be able to it in a quicker time that Isobel had. She had been slightly distracted when she had been learning. Maybe letting Evander teach her hadn't been that good an idea. It had worked though, and she was grateful for that. She was grateful for a lot of things that Evander had done. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger right? Evander going undercover had made her very strong.

"It was....." It was the hardest part of her life. Not knowing where he was, not knowing if he was okay , or if he was even alive. It had sucked. What sucked more is that they hadn't even talked about it. "No...i didn't know....he just disappeared." When he came back he didn't even bother to owl her to tell her he was okay. She had clearly meant so much to him. "I thought he was dead..." She mused with a frown.

Things were going really well with Izzy now.. she sort of felt bad for not trusting her earlier on what with her relationship to Squid and his link to the Cult. It wasn't exactly something she could ignore at the time, she was cautious and MLE was her family. She didn't want anythign to ruin that. But things were better, and sure Squid was annoying, but he wasn't necessarily dangerous... just an idiot, and a huge pain in the backside. Emily could tollerate that. For now.

It was as Emily figured. Poof. That's the thing she didn't like about undercover, though it hadn't bothered her or her mother when her father disappeared for months on end. Even years at times. Those were the better days of her life. Not knowing where he was... knowing he wasn't there to yell, scream, hex or curse. Her mother had played her part in upholding those high expectations though, so whenever he returned... well... it was like old times... only all at once.

Snapping out of her thoughts she gave Izzy a sympathetic smile. "At least you're both happy now... and you're both safe. Thats the main thing." Well safe-ish. But the Cult was jeapardising that.

They were both safe. Isobel had always been safe. In a way anyway. That was the whole reason why Evander hadn't told her. "That's the reason why he didn't tell me..." Isobel mused, with a small smile. At least Evander had cared about her enough to not want her to get hurt. She supposed that was something. "He didn't want me to get hurt." Which she was grateful about, now at least. She would've liked to at least known that he was okay though. It had sucked going all those years not knowing a thing. So part of her was glad that she could see him every day. Could see that he was okay. She liked that about her job.

"I'm glad he is happy though. He deserves it." That was somehow bittersweet, but she was glad that Evander had found someone. He deserved it. And she was glad that she had found Armen. He really did make her happy, in that way Evander had made her happy back in the day.

Emily hopped down from the counter, she needed to move again, she wasn't the type to sit around, even if she lacked energy. Emily couldn't help but think about how hard it must have been for Izzy, not knowing if Van was alive.. or where he was. How would she have managed in a situation like that?... or how would someone else manage it if it had been her to disappear? Could she do that? Could she just up and leave, even if it was for the sake of work.
Glancing at the mirror, Emily knew she couldn't do that, not for them and not for herself... which was why she was destined to be alone. Or at least thats how she felt sometimes. It was easier to live life where she wasn't in a possition to get hurt...

She was such a coward.

"Do you ever wonder what would have happened if he hadn't left?" Perhaps they would have been together still, married with a family... or perhaps not. Either way it really wasn't any of her business.

Now, that was a question that Isobel hadn't really thought about. Part of her didn't want to, because it hurt too much. Sure she was happy with Armen, but Evander was, and always would be her first love. The thing was she really didn't know what might have happened if Evander hadn't gone. They had been so young, anything could've happened. She was just glad that they were both happy now. Izzy shrugged, but still smiled at Emily. "Who knows." Because she really didn't want to think about it. She'd moved on, and so had Evander. There was no point dwelling over things that had happened in the past, not when they had happened so long ago. Isobel glanced at her watch, deciding that maybe it was time to go home now. They did have work tomorrow after all.

She pushed herself from the sink, and turned back to Emily. "Thanks...for listening to that." She mused, with a smile. "I haven't been able to talk about it with anyone really." Armen didn't understand. And she didn't want to make things between herself and Evander even more awkward by telling him how much he'd hurt her.

Emily nodded in understanding... of course it would ahve been hard to tell what could ahve happened, she didn't even know why she'd brought it up really. "It's no problem.. I'm always here if you ever need to talk. I might not be much of a talker... but I am a good listener." Listening she could do. Talking... not so much. She preferred to bottle those things up, label them and lock them in the cellar... never to be thought of again. She suddenly remembered the vial of memories in her pocket, her hand instinctively moving over the small bump in her pocket.

Figuring it was probably time to head off... get some take out, and some sleep, Emily dragged herself away from the sink.
"Thanks again, I really appreciate your help. Are you free on Monday?" ... or maybe she should have said Tuesday...
Or maybe she should have waited till tomorrow to ask.

Back to the men's room they went... only Sabel was in for a treat. Heh. Damien had made his way through the changing rooms and stalls with a BIG old pot of mooncalf dung juuuust a bit ago. Hence his making it back so quickly. And really... Sabel was his employee he could decide when he was needed and not. And that was THAT.

Moving on...

Stopping right outside of the door he turned to look at Sabel and said in a stern tone, "Before we go in you need to hand over both of your wands. And do not confuse it... that was an order, kid." You WILL get them back when you are done, his expression said. Hehe.

He would wait patiently for the trainee to do as instructed. Mhm.