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Alright. " he said then standing up. " I feel like im missing an arm or something. Without my guitar. " he said as he then gave her a smile. He never really sang for anyone. He had never sung for her either. " alright. so im not the best in my family but theirs a surprise right?" he said as he then started. Quote:
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Kate smiled up at him and scooted herself back so she wouldn't get a stiff neck looking up at him. The first note escaped his lips and she was instantly in some sort of trance. Not one of those psychotic ones, but one of wonder. His voice was soothing to her as it was when he spoke but when he sang -- it was even sweeter. She shook her head about the question on being horrible. "You've got it all wrong, Josh," she said smiling up at him still. "It's wonderful -- it has to be the best sound I've heard in my entire life." "Easy there" she told herself. Kate didn't want a reason for her and Josh to get into another -- tiff -- or -- whatever it was they got into. Not that they had gotten into anything recently. He'd spent a long time in detention and -- not too long ago Kate never wanted to see Josh again. Not her finest moment. |
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He smiled at her glad that she liked it. He blushed again as he was sure she was the person at hogwarts who had made him blush this many times in one day. " Eh thanks. I dont think im the best you have heard but i will take it."he said with a small laugh. " so you promised to sing to me." he said then moving to sit next to her as he was going to switch places with her. " Maybe after words i can get my guitar and we can do duet or something. Something fun." he said to her with a hint of cheer in his voice. |
The color in Josh's face didn't go unnoticed the second time by Kate, either. She smiled sweetly up at him, as she stood up. "Well I hope you don't mind," she said taking her wand from her robes, "But I'm going to cheat a little bit." With quick flick of the wrist, Kate's guitar and bookbag came zooming from the castle and landed on the ground infront of her. She looked over to Josh for his approval before continuing. Truth be told she was cheating. He didn't have any instruments with his voice. |
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Josh looked to see her summing up instruments. He laughed as he should of done that for his guitar. " no go ahead. " he said to her as he didnt care either way. As long as he got to hear her sing , it was all he wanted. He sat there waiting for her to start. |
Kate laughed lightly and nodded her head. "I am surprised you didn't think of it actually," she said as she dug into her bookbag for her book of parchment. She opened it up to somehwere just past the middle. She set it down on the ground, then stood up to fasten her guitar strap and put it over her shoulder. She looked down at the ground, a rather awkward expression on her face. "I'm going to do this instead," she said, then sat herself down infront of Josh, giving him the book of parchment to where it was opened to. "I wrote this --" she said quietly after a moment of silence. "I wrote it while you were in detention. After Camira told me what happened -- with Tuesday, I thought of you for a long time -- Wondered how you were feeling and -- I'll just let the song -- speak for me." Her eyes lingered on him for a moment before she looked back down and began playing. Quote:
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Josh had a smile on his face as it was a confused smile. " really?" he asked as he didnt think that him being strangled was that inspirational. But it was the way he was feeling that she was trying to portray.it was nice in a weird way, to have someone care for you that much. to have someone think about you when you were under lock and key. Josh took the paper and read through it quickly as he stopped reading it to hear her sing. She was very good and listening to the words made it even better. she was listening and wondering how anyone saw him that way.to want him the way she said. He was nothing special. She had pretty much pin pointed his feelings to a point. Of course he was sure she had it from experience. From his own doing. He listened and then stared at her for a bit as she had stopped. She had left him with no words. What could you say to someone who just sang that to you. He moved to stand up and then sat in front of her. " I think your song knows me better then i do." he said with a smile as he then handed her paper back to her.he gave her a kiss on the check as a thank you for everything she did for him. For being his friend, for knowing what to do when he didnt even know.and he loved her for it." i cant give you want you want kate. At least not any time soon." he told her not knowing if he really ever could do it. " That was really amazing and just having you as a friend is going to help me get back to good. It will just take time. Im a type of time person." he said to her as he gave her a small smile. " thank you." he said to her. He wanted to tell her that he loved her but feared he would only make it worse. |
She set her guitar aside and laughed lightly as Josh told her he felt the song knew him better than he did. She took the paper in her hand, and then she felt the warmth of a soft kiss on her cheek. She blinked her eyes up him, but didn't show anger or hostility. She didn't even feel it. The part of her heart ached a little bit but still -- she felt good. Kate still smiled and nodded her head once to Josh. "I know -- and It's okay," she said quietly, regarding that he wasn't prepared to give her what she wanted -- Which was for the two of them to be together. She couldn't believe she was thinking it -- giving her current situation. But at the same time she could believe it. She wrote this song for Josh because she was never able to be open with him. Writing was her portal -- her way for opening up even if she was talking to no one. But this moment with him -- This was her chance. To go out on a limb and not make a fuss about singing even if she had been scared to death. Her smile never faltered, and remained as genuine as ever. "I will be with you to give you all the time you need," she said quietly. "Even when you don't want me around I will still be with you to give you time --" She looked down at her book of parchment where the lyrics were written down, and gently tore the page out of the book, and gave it to him. "Just in case you start to forget," she said quietly. |
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Josh took the paper glad to have it. Something to read later. He put it aside as he looked at her," Im grateful that you will be here for me. Dont think it doesnt go both ways kate. Im always here for you if you need me. For whatever it is. Even if it has to do with amos." he said though it would be a bit awkward. Just the three of them was a bit weird. He always had a feeling amos had a thing for kate. Maybe thats why he got so upset when amos was stalking her around the grounds. He ended up being a good guy. Which presented another problem. Even if they did get together he didnt want to hurt amos either. it was a tangled web they had grew. " Kate." he said to her as he moved to make her looked at him when he said it." I could never forget about you." he told her honestly as he stared into her eyes." Im always going to remember you and i dont need a song that you wrote to make me remember. Im going to remember you as the person that was here for me. " he felt now would be a good time to tell her." I Love you kate and that will never change." Unfortunately for her , it just wasnt the way she wanted. |
Her blue eyes searched his as he spoke. In the deepest part of her heart, Kate had always known that Josh would be there for her until the end (whatever the 'end' was). Even if she'd said those horrible things in the past -- it was her trying to get over him. She paid special attention when he spoke of Amos, and wondered if his thoughts mirrored her own. She wondered if Josh was worried about the friendship the two guys had -- wondered if they, Kate and Josh, would never be able to be together because of it. Amos was indeed a great guy -- Kate would never want to hurt him either. What a mess. But a beautiful mess. To Kate. She got lost in Josh's eyes as he spoke about never forgetting her. She smiled a sweet smile, and her heart swelled as he spoke three words she hadn't heard him say to her in about 3 months. She was afraid to blink. Afraid that he might disappear and the fact that she had the courage to sing the song for him never happened either. Her eyes still searched his, her smile never fading. Even if those three words meant something different to Josh than it did to Kate -- "I love you too, Josh," She said quietly, finally blinking her eyes because they'd begun to sting from the cold. He was still there. They were still sitting together. "Even if the words have different meanings between us -- You are always with me. Always on my mind. I don't want to replace the feelings I have for you becase -- somehow it keeps me going. It reminds me to keep up with my studies and still work hard. Reminds me to hang out with Willow, Katelyn and the other friends I have (even if there are few)." "The way I feel about you reminds me to open up to people -- and let them get close and get to know me. You helped me with my fear, Josh. I'm not sure if ever told you that. But if it hadn't been for you -- if I'd never met you that day of the Opening Feast -- I never would have opened up to the people I know now. I'd still be spending every minute, almos every day either in the library or with my school work." "I can wish on every shooting star I see until they all reign down from heaven that I would have opened up to you right away, and that we would have never had to go through what we did -- And you know I do with that with all my heart. But that wasn't the plan at the time. Everything happens for a reason. You saved me, Josh. From seven yeras and possibly a lifetime of utter despair and lonliness -- you saved me." |
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Josh listened to her as part of him was glad that he was what drove her. At least something drove her. He didnt want her to be that girl he first met. He liked her better this way, even if she was a bit broken because of it. Broken was better then hiding. He wasnt a fan of hiding...of course he really couldnt say much about it. But this wasnt about him it was about kate. " Im glad you opened up kate. I am." he said to her as he moved to sit next to her. " im glad i helped you the way you helped me. " he told her as he looked at her," You helped me get over the library thing. Now i can in there without any trouble... but im still afraid that i'll die from it. Every time i go in there i think of you. Your part of me too. Besides you helped me become more serious.. which im still working on. Im working on piecing my life together, filling in the holes, learning what i want to do after hogwarts. Its almost over." he said to her as he only had two years left." I will miss you." he stared at her as he started to fight with himself. when was he too friendly with people. something else he was working on. he had a small feeling of guilt as she wished for him. She wished for him all the time. Part of him could be with her, but the other wanted to move on. to see what else their was. Maybe their was no one else, maybe their was. He was sure that some part of him would always be alone. " im sorry kate..." he told her as this time he moved to push some hair behind her ear. " i wish i could change it for you." he told her |
Kate smiled still hearing that she had also helped Josh with his life. Help him with his fear of the library, which made her suppress a tiny giggle. She helped him with easing off on the joking around all the time, and became more serious – he was even beginning to think about what he wanted to do when he left Hogwarts. Filling in the holes – Kate wondered what he meant by that. What holes specifically was he speaking of, and was she somehow included? “You’re still here remember?” she said, smile still intact. “So don’t say you’re goodbyes just yet.” Kate’s eyes never left his, and she thought she might have seen some distress in his gaze. He was so close to her. She wanted to reach out and take his hand but she kept them folded in her lap. Instead Josh was the one who reached out to Kate. Her eyes fluttered closed as he tucked her hair behind her ear. Again she didn’t feel pain – she wasn’t sad or upset in anyway. The ache in her heart continued but she was still composed. Her eyes slowly opened back up to his. “I don’t want you to be sorry for me,” she said quietly. “You don’t need to feel guilty about anything else – you’ve got enough on your plate with what’s going on in your life right now. I shouldn’t add to that.” She gave him a small smile, now. “You still love me,” she reminded him. “It’ll still keep me going.” Kate slowly closed the gap between them and gently touched her lips to his. |
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Your not really adding to it. " he said to her as he had things on his mind it was for sure. He was a bit off lately as well. Things were just crazy right now and everyone knew that josh wasnt one for drama or anything that was out of the ordinary. He was a simple kind of guy. he gave her a smile as she smiled at him." I'll always be here." he told her as he then felt her kiss.... she was kissing him. His mind went cloudy as he tried to think about what he should do. What was the right thing to do, what was the thing he wanted to do, what was the thing that he should do. He let her kiss him as he stayed still. He had finally decided. He moved away from her kiss and looked at her. "Please dont do that. It makes everything more complicated. What if amos came around? He would see us and then you two would be in trouble. I've screwed things up enough. I cant break you two up."he told her as he didnt want to screw things up. He had done enough damage today. He had broken up with tuesday.. that was enough for several weeks. For some reason he wanted to kiss her back, part of him. Why where people made with feelings. They always got you into trouble. |
He pulled away from her, and Kate tucked the hair that had come from behind her ear back again as she looked guiltily at Josh. She had been thinking similar – what if Amos had found them in this – compromising position? It would have killed him. Some might label Kate a two-timer at this point, but she hadn’t kissed Josh because she wanted to go behind Amos’ back. She knew very well that her and Josh were not going to be together – at least for now. In the time they were dating, Kate and Josh never once actually kissed. A peck on the cheek here and there, but their lips never touched. Tonight was the first time. The broken part of her heart seemed to shatter so much more, and she knew she was going to cause herself more pain. But then she thought of Josh. “I’m sorry,” she said. “I’m being selfish and not thinking of you and you’re feelings. I know you don’t want to cause trouble between Amos and I – and things with Tuesday are not helping your own situation either. Please don’t be angry,” she added as her eyes searching his. “I – wanted to know what it felt like.” She felt like a silly little girl at this point. |
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He shook his head," Tuesday and I are over." he told her as he then told her," its not me im worried about. Its you. And of course amos." he said to her as he then heard her talking about being mad at her.' Im not mad." he reassured her. He then gave her a smile as she wanted to know what it was like. " you really want to know what its like?" he asked her.he would give her one if it was just for that purpose. |
Kate blinked her eyes to Josh at hearing he and Tuesday were no longer together. "I'm sorry --" she said quietly. "You don't need to worry about me -- I've actually found I'm quite a strong person when I need to be," she added and returned his smile with one of her own. Her cheeks flushed a rather vibrant rose at his question of her wanting to know what kissing him would feel like. It was true, but she was still embarassed -- how could she not be? Her eyes found his and they seemed to sparkle as she nodded her head slowly. |
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Its alright. it was going to happen anyway." he said as it seemed they were going down hill. " im sure you can be. i can believe it. " he said when she told him that she could be strong. He watched her as she decided she did want a kiss after all. He really shouldnt but she never did get a real kiss from him. Oh all his hard work for not flirting today was about to blow up in his face. He might as well make it a good one. Oh gesh, what was he doing. Josh moved his hand to her check then to her neck as he pulled her close to him. He moved to kiss her lips but then moved to kiss her bottom lip. He didnt want to go to crazy so he pulled away. He had small smile on his face as he then kissed her check. " how was that?" he asked her as he pulled from her. |
Kate watched him and felt her heart begin to race -- she was surprised Josh couldn't hear as it echoed through her head and throughout her entire body. She thought she might have been convulsing from it. His hand touched her cheek and then her neck, which made her draw in a quiver of a breath. Her eyes closed before his lips met hers. Her bottom lip at least. And when he pulled away she felt the kiss on her cheek as her eyes fluttered open. He was smiling at her and she returned his with one of her own. "I always knew it would feel," she said answering his question. "Like a dream. Like there's no one else in the world. It felt complete --" She trailled off, her cheeks still flushed as she smiled over at him still. "Thank you --" she said quietly. |
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Josh had a small smile as she said it was a dream. She was making things up now." Your welcome." he said as he then realized that it wasnt a very good scene..that they had just made. " i think im going to go." he said pointing towards hogwarts. " Glad you enjoyed it though.." That was retarded. Oh gesh.. now his senses were coming back to him...Oh Good lord. What was he doing. " I'll see you around." he said as he moved to stand up and started to walk away. oh no. |
Kate laughed lightly, then looked back up to him, her eyes turning to concern. His demeanor had suddenly changed. It drastically changed actually. She couldn't make out what he was feeling -- she couldn't read it in his eyes. "Josh hang on," she said as she stood up, leaving her guitar and bookbag where they just sat and took off after him. "Hang on a minute, something just changed here. What is it, what's wrong?" |
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Josh looked at her and then asked,' do you know what we just did?" he asked her as he began to realize all the things that could of gone wrong. Amos , people in general could of saw... oh gesh. |
Kate nodded her head. "I do realize what we just did," she said her voice not sounding rushed or worried at all. "Josh please don't get worked up about what just happened. You've been through a lot -- and I know I'm responsible for some of it." "Please -- Please don't let this effect what we just talked about. I don't know what I'd do if I woke up tomorrow to find that I had to forget about it. I don't want to forget --" |
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josh put his hand on his head." Dont get worked up about this.. do you remember what we did. I know we just kissed but.... People could of saw. Its not that seeing me kissing someone is the promblem but you. Amos finds out you know how much trouble we are both in. I promised i wouldnt do anything to screw your relationship up and i've managed to do it again. Let alone i was trying not to be flirty today. HOW well that worked out." he said as he sighed. He was having a bad day. he wasnt thinking clearly. He had a bit of elapse about what they had talked about...what were they talking about. " look kate im still here for you. tomorrow and the day after that alright." he said though he wasnt so sure amos would be if he heard about this. Oh gesh.He wanst mad at her he just couldnt believe himself. |
Kate wasn't worried about his hysterics. I mean she was -- it was reasonable why he was. Amos and Josh were like brothers around Hogwarts and she felt he would never intentionally do anything to jepordize their realtionship. "Josh get a hold of yourself --" she said quietly. "This is as much my doing as it is yours. I was the one who started it all. I was the one who wanted the second kiss --" She watched him carefully as he paced. Just in case he happened to pass out she'd be there to catch him. |
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