Pauline's EEFFD's - Sa9+
 

First Day Missings











“Welcome to the Opening Feast of the new school year. I am your Headmistress Professor McGonagall, and I have some important information to tell you,” she stated. “This year we are having a competition for all you people who like to write, that includes everyone from first year to teacher.” She added with a smile “And I myself will be taking part in it. The competition is 100 drabbles of blank. You can choose any subject as long at you write 100 stories with 100 words each about the 100 topics I give. They will be posted tomorrow morning and an example of one drabble that I have done for my part, as well as a sign up sheet for anyone that’s interested. “She said and then cleared her throat

“Now we have a special guest with us, please put your hands together for…. Emma Watson,” she said as Emma walked in.



Many gasps could be heard from the students. Emma had walked in with an ice cream cone on her head and spitting 3 glass marbles out of her mouth and a monkey on her shoulder catching them in its mouth. “Well if that ain’t a nice talent” the Headmistress added.

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Next Morning….



Harry went to go see the rules for the contest once more before deciding if he wanted to do the competition. The 100 Drabbles sign up sheet and topics had been posted on the board outside the Great Hall, as McGonagall had said, but with also her example. This was….



Example: Headmistress’s 100 drabbles for chickens



Subject: Chicken Legs



Rupert was sitting at his dinner table with his Fiancée Pauline, eating a nice wholesome meal, which included green beans mashed potatoes and chicken.



“Dear, this chicken is delicious,’ he started to say “How did you ever kill this bird?” he asked



“Oh it was quiet simple I went and chopped the two legged.” She said but then was interrupted



“What did you say?” he questioned



“I chopped the two legged bird,” she restated

“Two legged?” he said “No way. I thought Chicken's had 4 legs!” he answered.



“No Hun, it had 2 legs. I promise,” she said to him.



“No... No..Get away!!” a girl screamed running down the hall past Harry.



Harry turned and looked and saw his mother walking down the hall in a Zombie form. “Mom?” he asked confused



The Zombie Lily looked at Harry “Yes Harry I came back for something?” she said coming closer to Harry and touching his Face.



“What did you come back for?” he asked his Mom.



She smiled at Harry “Your glasses,” She said and took them off his face and ran with him down the Hall.

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The End

Pgspickles,

It's good to see the EEFFD becoming active. Congratulations on your first step with your own EEFFD story. It takes some courage to create a piece of original work and to allow complete strangers to review it. I hope that you do hang around and try again. The more, the merrier I say.

If I may offer a few words of advice for future reference, and old guy like me sometimes finds it hard to follow a story when the author jumps around from topic to topic, as you did in your story. I know that that's the communication style of young folk these days, but your work will be read by a variety of people. It would have made for easier reading if there had have been more definite links between your various plot points. Also, I was left wondering why certain things happened in your story. An explanation of sorts for some of the characters' actions would have helped the enjoyment of the story. I guess I'm saying that it read a little abrupt and I would have enjoyed it more if you had have actually lengthened the story more and filled in some of the blanks. While less is sometimes more, in your case, more would have been more.

I understand that it's hard to fit in the various elements of the challenge into a cohesive, logical and entertaining story. I guess that's the challenge though. Please do keep at it. As I said, it takes guts and you've made the first step. Congratulations again, and I look forward to reading your next one. I'm sure that you'll get better each time.

Durro

P.S. Please feel free to go over to my own 1st EEFFD and be critical. If you have the time, I look forward to the feedback, good or otherwise.

Welcome, officially, to the Evil Elite, Pauline! You certainly are evil enough, so come on and dare us back in the EEFFD Game thread!

PS. Your blood oath papers are in the post. Fill them out in triplicate and owl them back as soon as possible. Thanks. *evil pose*