Quote:
Originally Posted by
Esme 
Reid's thoughts turned to Rachel and what had happened with her over the summer. Things had been getting better, she hadn't forgiven him but she'd been on the way to doing so and then he went and screwed it up. Why did it seem like the only thing he'd accomplished during the summer was messing up his life, a life he'd only recently begun to think could contain happiness and be worth putting energy into? Sighing he felt a tear run down his cheek before dripping silently onto his coat. I want her back and I'll do anything to get her, but I don't know how.
He was about to try to device a way to get her back when someone ripped open the compartment door. Why was it that he could seemingly not even find peace in the last compartment on the train? Turning his head to look out the window he decided that it would be better not to look at whoever disturbed his solitude since he'd likely end up blowing up at them. He wasn't nice when feeling either depressed or angry, normally though he would mask those emotions quite well. This was not one of those days.
The lurch of the train was somewhat sudden and unexpected and so Reid wasn't totally surprised when a girls body ended up sprawled in front of him. He'd reached out slowly to catch the person but his reaction times were slower than normal and he just couldn't seem to care about anything. Nevertheless he did offer the girl a hand to get up should she so chose to use it.
Turning at the sound of the voice Reid's eyes softened almost imperceptibly. He should have known it would be his clumsy Rachel. Although technically she wasn't his Rachel any more. Taking in her appearance his eyes widened slightly in shock at what he was seeing. This wasn't the Rachel he remembered! What did he do to her? "It's fine, I mean I'm probably the last person you want to see on this planet at the moment so I don't think you did it on purpose." his voice was a whisper as he didn't want her to hear just how hoarse it was. It wasn't very manly to have to admit to crying your eyes out after all. He added a slight smile to his words but it was self derivative and his eyes spoke of how much else he wanted to say to her. Wanted to say but didn't have the right to any more.
This. was. SO. not. happening. It just couldn't - WHAT had she done to deserve this?!
. . .
Hastily picking herself up from the floor and away from his knees - away from HIM - she felt a roll of fatigue roll in and her vision darkened.
Great. Sitting down opposite him, next to the door, she focused intently on where the floor should be as she waited for the head rush to pass, feeling her heart beat a mile a minute as she fully took in where she was, what had happened, and who she was with when it did.
"Um," she began, still looking at the floor even though she could now see perfectly well.
"You aren't the last person - I really do think that if Sienna was here, I'd be more disappointed," she stated in a low voice, not caring how she sounded. Truth was, he was kind of right. But it felt better to say she hated Sienna than to say that she hated him. Because she didn't hate him... And he was never allowed to know that.
You probably sound childish to him, a bitter voice in her head said,
immature and crazy. And that's without the fact that you look like you hadn't slept since you saw him last. And the sad thing? She pretty much hadn't. Sleep - none, crying - way too much.
"Sorry. . . I'm just tired," she finally added, feeling a lump grow in her throat. Her sixth year was NOT supposed to start like this. It just wasn't. She was a mess and even her new school books hadn't been enough to get her excited. Jake had looked sick with worry whenever he looked at her, and when she had been unresponsive to her new textbooks he had nearly fainted. She was making everyone miserable around her.
And it was all Reid's fault. And her's. But more Reid's because she was much too exhausted to take the blame for anything right now.