“No! I have not and will not read that ridiculous book,” Peeves said for the hundredth time at the annual staff meeting.

“But Peeves – don't you see how valuable Hogwarts, A History is? With that book, you will know so much more about the school you refuse to leave and therefore be able to use your . . . skills, to a better use.” The Deputy Headmistress explained rationally.

It all made sense in theory; any moron could see that, but Peeves just shook his head. “I'll feel . . . ridiculous though, reading it.”