Okay, it's sad and probably too long but I wanted to write it....
Tell me what you think...

Chapter 30 part 3

When a person receives the so called Dementor’s ‘kiss’, their soul is taken and their entire emotional range just ceases to exist. You’re not dead, you just can’t feel. Some would say that this fate is worse than death and they would probably be right and Ginny used to agree with them. But as she walked with her father’s arm hugging her shoulders, all she could think was how much she would prefer not to be able to feel, to be numb, how having your soul sucked out of your body would be so much preferable than this.
Because she couldn’t handle this. She really couldn’t; she had come to that realization a few moments after Hermione had confirmed it to her. After that it felt like the entire world had gone on mute, like everything around her were moving too fast for her to see or listen, it felt like nothing mattered. And she had her head filled with so many memories ever since she learned that she would never see him again, that it was hard for her to focus on anything else. It was like her happy past had taken a life of its own in an attempt to fight off her dim future. And even though it hurt like hell to remember the past she preferred it than coming back to reality. Because she couldn’t handle reality.

She had just won her first game! She almost couldn’t believe it! She was so worried before she rode her broom and now all that felt stupid. Of course they won; they had the best team ever!
As she saw him waiting for her outside the changing room she run to hug him and he lifted her up in his arms.
“Gin, that was amazing!”
“We sure nailed them, huh?” Ginny said when he let her down.
“Nailed them? I think one of the chasers actually started crying! Ginny Weasley, you are an amazing Quidditch player”, Harry smiled.
“Oh, really? Am I better than the great Harry Potter, then?”
“Hmm, maybe”, he said and she raised her eyebrows. “Okay, fine, you’re better but just a little bit”.
“A little bit works for me”, she laughed and kissed him. “Ron and Hermione waiting outside?” she asked then and she made to leave, but he held her wrist and pulled her back.
“Wait a minute, Gin”, Harry said.
“What?” she asked confused at the sudden change of his tone. “Why the serious face?”
“Well, I have something serious to tell you”, he replied. Her eyebrows went even higher.
“Okay”, she nodded then. “But just so you know if you cheated on me, Voldemort would be nothing comparing to what I am going to do”.
“What?” Harry laughed. “Gin, I would never cheat on you!”
“Well, I can’t help it when there’s an entire horde of girls out there dreaming of Harry Potter”.
“Yeah, but I only dream of one girl”, he said placing his arms around her waist.
“Is that right?”
“Yeah, it is. I love you, Gin and I probably always will”.
“Tell me that there is no but in that sentence”, she said terrified.
“There is”, Harry sighed. “I love you but I feel like dating you and having you sleeping over at my place every other night isn’t enough anymore”.
“Oh, my God”, Ginny said taking a few steps back. “Are you breaking up with me?”
“Wrong again”, Harry smiled and with that he got to one knee taking a small box out of his pocket. Ginny’s jaw dropped as she finally realized what was happening.
“Ginny Weasley, will you…?”
“YES!” she screamed falling on him and hugging him. “Yes, yes, yes, yes!”
“I didn’t even get to finish the question!”Harry complained.
“I’m sorry”, she giggled. “I couldn’t help it! I just can’t believe this is truly happening!”
“Why? Don’t you know how much I love you?”
“Um, no”, she laughed. “I guess you’re gonna have to say it again and again and again…”
“I love you, I love you, I love you, I LOVE YOU!
“Okay, okay, I heard you already”, Ginny laughed. “I love you too”.


As she sat in her seat with her father on one side and Bill on the other, she looked down at her hands and started whirling the ring on her finger. Sometimes that day, after she won her first match with the Harpies, felt so long ago, but at that time it felt like yesterday. But it couldn’t have been yesterday, because yesterday it was New Year’s. The very first New Year’s she had spent without him for a long time actually.

“This can’t be happening…this can’t be happening…this can’t be happening!”
“Ginny, calm down!” Ron said watching a nine months pregnant Ginny walking up and down.
“Calm…? CALM DOWN!” Ginny yelled hysterically. “Ron, my husband is gone for a week, he actually missed New Year’s, you just told me that some escapees have probably taken him and you want me to calm down?”
“Ginny, we all thought Harry was on a mission. Now that we know that they got him, we’re gonna get him back in no time!”
“You’d better get him back, Ronald!” Ginny yelled. “I need him! I’m due in a few weeks and I need him…the boys need him too!”
“Everything’s gonna be okay, Ginny”, Hermione said walking inside. “Ron, we just got some information about…”
“Oh, my God!” Ginny yelled then and they both turned to her.
“What?”
Ginny lifted her hand up from her legs and it was full of blood.
“Oh, my God!” Hermione yelled too just as Ron run Ginny before she collapsed on the floor.
The next thing Ginny remembered was waking up in the hospital. She was lying in a rather uncomfortable bed and she felt soreness at her entire body. She could also feel someone holding her hand. She turned her head slowly and she saw him sleeping on a chair with his head lying on her stomach.
“HARRY!” she yelled with a strained voice. He woke up immediately and for a moment looked at her like he couldn’t believe she was there. Then he exhaled relieved and started kissing every part of her face.
“Ginny, thank God!” he said.
“What happened?” she asked him. “I thought you were captured and…Oh, my God, Lily!” she exclaimed and her hands flew to her stomach but it was empty. “What happened to my baby?”
“She’s fine”, Harry smiled in spite the tears that were shining in the corners of his eyes. “She looks just like you”.
“She’s okay”, Ginny said relieved falling back to her pillows, and then she looked at him. “I thought I lost you”.
“You thought you lost me?” he asked with disbelief. “Ginny, you’ve been unconscious for like three days and before that I had the healers telling me that both you and the baby were going to die! I thought...I thought...” his voice trailed off.
Ginny gasped. Now that she really looked at him, she could clearly see that he was a wreck; she couldn't recall a time he had looked so broken. His face was pale and his eyes were bloodshot and puffy, like he had been crying and had black circles under them; obviously he had barely had any sleep. All her anger at him for getting himself in danger was extinguished.
“Baby, I’m so sorry”, she said caressing his cheek. His somewhat pained expression changed and he smiled.
“Just don’t scare me like that ever again”, he said and she nodded before he kissed her.
“I love you”, she said then.
“I love you too”.


She couldn’t really see what was happening in front of her. It all was a blur to her, but she didn’t really want it to turn real. Real wasn’t real, real couldn't be real. There were times, like when she had Lily that their lives weren’t so great, but all those times he was always there at the end. Even when she thought she wouldn’t see him again, he had always managed to make it. He lived through Voldemort, for crying out loud.

She could clearly see him sitting under that beech tree, but she was kind of hesitant of approaching him. What do you say after an entire year of being apart? What do you say after the war and the reason that kept you apart is over? Did he still feel the same? Would he want to be with her again now?
Just as she tried to muster up her courage however he got up and turned to walk towards the castle, but he stopped at his tracks when he saw her. Then he breathed and slowly walked towards her. He was still covered in blood and mud and so was she. It was a harsh battle after all.
The wounds and the cuts on her body didn’t really hurt, but the deep, sharp pain in her heart from Fred’s loss was like a sucking hole. And yet as she looked into his emerald eyes when he stopped in front of her, her heart seemed to be trembling for an entire different reason. She sighed and then her hesitance was gone and she had her courage returned.
“Ginny, I…” he started but he didn’t get to finish his sentence because she slapped him across the face. “Ouch!”
“How could you act like you were dead? Didn’t you think of all of us? What about me? My brother was gone, Lupin and Tonks too and you made me think that I’ve lost you too!”
“I’m sorry!” he said. “I’m sorry I couldn’t tell you; and I’m more sorry than you can even imagine for Fred and Remus and Tonks”.
“I know”, she nodded and then she shook her head in an attempt to hold the tears back. “BUT the war is over now, isn’t it?” she said trying to smile. “It’s a time to be happy not sad. Fred wouldn’t want us to be sad”.
“Right”, Harry nodded.
“So, um…” Ginny started feeling her cheeks blushing. “Now that Voldemort is gone, we can be together again, right?”
“You want us to be together again?”
“Well, yeah”, she said awkwardly. “I mean, I still like you. Do you still like me?”
“Well…no, I don’t think I like you”, Harry shook his head.
“Oh”, Ginny said her smiled fading. “Okay”, she nodded trying to keep a straight face. She was always afraid of it and now it had turned true.
“Don’t take that face”, he laughed and she looked at him outraged. “I didn’t mean it like that”.
“Then how do you mean it?”
“When Voldemort raised his wand and pointed it at me, the moments before he casted the Killing curse, all I could think about was you”, he said his face turning red; her heart lost a beat. “So, I don’t think I just like you, Ginny. I think I love you”.
She was left speechless from the shock. She had dreamed about him saying those three word numerous times and now he did!
“Okay, maybe you should say something now”, Harry suggested after a few moments of silence. She gulped and then she flung her arms around his neck and kissed him. It had been almost a year since she had first kissed him, after that Quidditch match he couldn’t come, and yet she still couldn’t get over just how perfect the feeling was. It was back at her house, on his birthday, that she had kissed him more passionately that she had ever kissed anyone and yet now she felt that this kiss was even more passionate and affectionate than that. They were both out of breath when they finally broke apart.
“I love you too”, she smiled.


The people all around her stood up and her father and Bill grabbed her arms and gently pulled her on her feet too. She could see the little man that performed the funerals and weddings for wizards and witches but she couldn’t really hear what he was saying and she didn't really care. Words weren’t enough. Words, speeches…nothing would be enough to describe everything that Harry is…
Was…she thought to herself and she felt the waves of grief come crushing down on her again. Bill hugged her as she started crying, but no hug in the world was as comforting as his. And she just wanted to stay in her happy memories; she didn’t want to think that he was gone, that she would never look in his eyes again, that she would never hear his voice again and that every day from now on would be a day without him.
They had lived so much together, that she always thought that they would die together, in like a really old age, after they saw their kids having their own kids and living a happy life. Well, that didn’t agree with the plan.

“Ginny? Gin?” Harry said quietly as he was crouched down in front of the couch she had fallen asleep, still wearing his coat. She opened her eyes and smiled at him.
“Hey, you’re back”, she said sitting up, rubbing her eyes all the while.
“Baby, I’m so sorry”, he said apologetically. “Matthias had some important briefing to give us and I couldn’t get out of it”.
“It’s okay”, she said. She was angry with him, but his full of remorse look and his puppy eyes were enough to butter her up.
“No, it’s not”, he shook his head, looking at the brown, strapless cocktail dress she was wearing. “It’s our first anniversary and I totally ruined it! And you’re so beautiful and I’m so sorry!”
“Honey, it’s okay”, she said hugging his neck. “I want to hope that we’re gonna have a lot more anniversaries”.
“If you put up with me…” he laughed. “Well, it’s too late to go out, but um…that doesn’t mean you won’t get to dance with me”, he added standing up and holding his hand out for her. She laughed and took it. He placed his hands around her waist and they started spinning around slowly. With a flick of his wand the radio started playing a song they had danced at their wedding and she clung onto him tightly, with her head buried in the bent of his neck.
“Actually you did ruin the plan I had made to tell you something I wanted”, she said after a few moments.
“What?” he asked looking down at her.
“Well, it’s all ruined now and I can’t tell you”.
“Come on, Gin, you know I’m terribly sorry”.
“Okay, okay, stop looking so sad”, she laughed.
“What you wanted to tell me?” he asked her again and she left his hug to fully look at him.
“I’m pregnant”.
His jaw dropped.
“Wha…What?” he stammered after a few seconds.
“You’re gonna be a daddy”, she smiled.


In spite her tears, she felt the corners of her lips twitching. James. Every time they had a baby was amazing but still the first time was different. She thought it was because that was the very first time, when she saw Harry holding their son that she realized that that was it. They were a family. She could still remember how her heart had expanded that day and never had returned to its previous size and how she could see the happiness in his eyes. She had managed to do what she always wanted. Make him happy. Really, really happy.
But that made her think of something else, something more recent.

“Just know”, she said looking up at him, “that I wouldn’t make it without you”. He looked at her with a serious look on his face.
“Yes you would”, he said and she sat up looking at him. “You’ll have to…for Jamie, Al and Lily”.
“Harry…”
“I know that it’s probably not the right time for this but given the situation with the Death Eaters, I think we should make this conversation”.
“What are you talking about?” she asked confused.
“Gin, if something happens to me…”
“You were the one who told me not to think like that! If I can’t think like that you can’t either!”
“If something happens to me”, he repeated without commenting her words, “I need to know that you’ll be okay”.
“Okay? I just had a nightmare of you dying and I was scared to death…you think that there’s a way for me to be okay with you dead?”
“I’m not going to die”, he repeated. “But if I do you’ll be the only one to protect the kids”.
“Fine”, she said. “I’ll promise that if something happens to you, I’ll try and be strong for the kids, if you promise me the same thing”.
“What?” he asked perplexed.
“Will you be okay and strong if I die?” she said raising her eyebrows.
“You’re not going…”
“Will you?”
“I will”, he responded and she nodded.
“Then I will too”.


He had made her promise. He had made her promise that she would be strong and that she would take care of their kids and she had taken that promise. It was like someone had snapped their fingers and brought her out of her hypnosis. She was suddenly pretty aware of everything all around her. Bill was still holding her, but she found out that she hadn’t lost the use of her legs after all.
She had promised him. She had promised him and yet she had no idea where her kids were for the last couple of days. She realized with a jolt that she hadn't even fed Hope; what had she been eating? Hell, she hadn't even seen them. All she did for the last days was lying on their bed, hugging Harry's clothes to her, wearing his coat or spraying herself with his cologne; she was trying to feel him close to her and yet she had completely neglected the things that will always bind her with him, their kids. She felt quilt spinning around her stomach and getting out of Bill’s hug, she looked around for them. It was their father’s funeral, they needed her and she wasn’t with them.
She spotted Lily a few seats away from her. Her mother and her daughter were crying together with their red hair mingled. Ginny slowly left Bill’s and her father’s side and approached them. She felt eyes on her but she really couldn’t care less. Her mother looked up at her when she reached them and Ginny only gave her a nod, that she understood completely. She left Lily, who looked around confused and then saw Ginny. She smiled and got up. Ginny hugged her and she felt her hot tears falling on her.
“Don’t cry, honey, it’s okay”, she said stroking her hair.
It was hard for Ginny to believe but she felt the weight of her sorrow lift a little bit. At least she still had her children. Harry was right. She had to stay strong for them; they were all she had left.
She saw Albus looking at them and she gestured him to come close to them. As the boy approached them, she couldn’t help but allowing some more tears to wet her face. He was so like him; his black, messy hair sticking out in every direction, his green eyes, even the way he walked towards her reminded her of him. When he reached them, she hugged him with her other hand. He had no tears in his eyes, just a solemn look, but she thought he was only trying to play strong.
Then next moment James was next to them too. When she saw him, it dawned to her how stupid she was to only think that losing Harry was so terrible for her. What about her children? James looked like in the last two days had aged a couple of decades and she didn’t think she could recall a time he looked more depressed. She lifted her hand from Lily’s shoulder and stroked his cheek, wiping some of his tears away. He smiled at her and then hugged them too.
Ginny still felt like someone was stabbing her heart with every breath she drew, but she knew now that she would have to put up with it. For them. She had to find Hope too. Hope. She was probably the only Hope she had left.

Artemis shook her wand and the floating picture depicting the first lines of the people, who were at the funeral, with Ginny and the three kids at the front, vanished. She turned and the cruel smile on her face was bigger than ever.
“So, how did you like your funeral?”
Harry lifted his head and looked at her hatefully, with his eyes swimming with tears.

-Angie-