Quote:
Originally Posted by Kellybear the most fair
“Neville,” a soft voice called him out of the abyss. “Neville, please, wake up.”
It was all a dream ...
now that would have been a twist. But it wasn't but it was a good story.
Quote:
Originally Posted by The Grim Reaper Kellybear
He tried to tell the gentle voice to go away, that he did not want to feel, but it called to him, pulling him toward the light.
That was so sad that Neville felt death beckoning ... it's a testament to the torture that Amycus gave him
Quote:
Originally Posted by KellyBear the wild thing
“Luna? Is that you?” Neville tried to open his eyes, but they were so swollen he could barely see. Still, he managed to make out Luna’s face. She smiled at him.
I would have thought that he was 'hoping' to see Luna, but it would have been Hannah *sighs* oh well. I like Luna and Neville that's one of my favorite ships.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kellybear Jones LOL
Neville seriously doubted that he could, but he was determined to try.
Which is what makes him so lovable he might be down but he's not out.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Skulduggery Kelly?
“Well, I guess Filch was in a hurry when he tossed us into those cells, because he forgot to take our wands. I tried for a while to get the wall to open, but I couldn’t or I’d have come sooner.” Neville could hear the apology in her voice and his face burned with shame. He completely forgotten his wand.
I have to admit that that was unexpected. I hadn't really given much thought to them having their wands taken away from them. This was a bit of an unexpected surprise likewise when Luna it turns out marked the way they came in. She's a Ravenclaw all right.
I still think you write this the way Jo would have written it had she bothered to tell us what happened at Hogwarts.
Your style is nice, clear, clean and most importantly it strives to follow canon and you do it rather very well. It makes for a solid lovely story. Keep it up and I'll keep reading.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Prestidigitatious Kelly
“They sent Crabbe to torture me.” Luna said, as though this explained everything.
I have to admit, that did indeed explain everything to me
It was a brilliant post, the way you've written this whole story. I think your knack for following canon and making the characters stay true to themselves is a mark of what genius you have. Keep it up. I love this story and it's really interesting because I don't usually follow characters outside the trio or at least when the trio aren't there. Love this story, love, keep it going.
~Ottery