Quote:
Originally Posted by
KellyBear 
Neville's stomach clenched at the thought of what they were about to do. Sweat ran into his eyes. As he wiped it away, he noticed that his hands shook.
I love your descriptive skillz.
Way to set a scene too.
Makes me think maybe I'm a lazy writer ...
Quote:
Originally Posted by KellyWhere?
Hannah took her post at the entrance to the Great Hall, keeping watch.
Somehow I thought Hannah would do more than look out ...
Quote:
Originally Posted by KellyBear! And here too :P
In huge glowing acid green letters, he wrote "Dumbledore's Army, Still Recruiting" behind the professor's table. The words, written so large that they stretched the entire length of the dias, would burn for 3 days before finally fading.
That totally PWN'd I'm totally stealing that idea
I mean ... sounds like a Weasley Twin thing
Quote:
Originally Posted by KellyBear loves the smell of jasmine
The next morning, all of Hogwarts was astir over the graffiti hanging in the Great Hall.
That just begs of understatement
sorry ...
Quote:
Originally Posted by KellyBear her hairs so fair
No one knew who had written the words there, and it was even whispered that perhaps Fred and George had found a way into Hogwarts and were even now planning a reign of terror that would make all their other pranks combined pale by comparison.
Wouldn't that have then made them targets of the Death Eaters? Are you planning to resolve this in your story? Will the twins suffer a similar fate as in DH? *I am that annoying reader*
Quote:
Originally Posted by KellyBear you know she'd dare
As he made his way toward Herbology, he saw Hannah waiting for him outside the greenhouse. She had worn her long, blonde hair loose and the cold made her cheeks rosy. He thought she looked like a Christmas angel.
It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas ...
you know I hate Halloween and Thanksgiving
Quote:
Originally Posted by KellyBear heartbreaker extraordinaire
"You..I don't think the Weasley twins could have done any better." Hannah said. Taking his hand in hers, she led him into the greenhouse for the start of the lesson.
OMG! Can you say, "flirt" cuz Hannah's a total flirt
Cute, very cute.
Quote:
Originally Posted by KellyBear she totally cares
Neville felt in his heart that they could probably accomplish no more than this, but it was enough. He was as determined to rally his fellow students as the Carrows were to break them.
I'd say long live the revolution in French but this isn't the French forum so lemme just say *Teddy stops Otty* Yeah, for that we'd need to be in the Spanish forum
I guess ... uhm, go Neville! *fires the cannons* Seriously though it's cool that Neville cares so much ... you write him very well Kelly. He's not the knight-in-shinning armor cliche but he's not a loser either ... he's just ... an average guy trying to save the world. How cute.
Quote:
Originally Posted by KellyBear is lovely fair
Just before All Hallows Eve, Ginny called a meeting of the D.A. She had wanted to plan something truly spectacular, but had refused to share with him what it was.
...
Ginny was so brave, willing to risk anything for what she believed and what she wanted. Sometimes her daring made him more than a little nervous. Now she wanted to involve the entire D.A. in a "special mission" on the one night when surely everyone would be on the highest alert. Would it really be worth the risk of being exposed?
...
he was sure whatever she had planned would be unforgettable.
Hmm, I like what's going on here. Especially Ginny taking the leadership reins and sharing them with Neville, or at least not just sitting in the background and waiting for approval. I also love how you keep hinting at this massive thing but then don't say what
cruel but makes me want to read more ... and lastly ... seriously, could you make this more tantalizing?
Quote:
Originally Posted by KellyBear is that Otty's underwear?
"I have asked each of the teams to meet me at different times so that no one but me knows the whole plan or what the other teams are doing.
It's scary how smart this girl is
But that's a good thing, no? *Would hate to be a Death Eater*
Quote:
Originally Posted by KellyBear knows my shorts are a horcrux
"Let me show you what I have in mind." Ginny hefted a large, lurid green sack marked with a huge purple W onto the wooden table as she said this. Neville smiled despite himself. He could only imagine what kind of scheme Ginny had managed to cook up with her twin brothers. Whatever it was she was about to show him, one thing was certain--this Halloween was going to be unforgettable.
Seriously, shut up!
Could you make me want to read this story more?
Probably. So ... that's all for now ... don't want to catch up too soon then I'll have nothing to read. So ...
I'll go back to fighting facebook or reading GwtW.
I'm off ...