Quote:
Originally Posted by
Berty Borr 
Lord Borr grinned LONG AND WIDE. He offered his beefy hand to the young Miss Toussaint to help her down from the desk. "CLASS? CLASS DID YOU HEAR HER QUESTION?" Lord Borr ASSUMED they had not because they were either TELLING HIM WHAT HE SHOULD OR SHOULDN'T DO, or TALKING WHEN THEY WERE NOT SUPPOSED TO, or telling him things that WERE NOT TRUE!!!! ONE KNUCKLEHEAD HAD THEIR WAND OUT EVEN!! CHAOS! BARNYARD! Hogwarts always housed mostly BARN ANIMALS with a few sprinkles of GOOD, WORTHY students.
Like Miss Toussaint. "SHE ASKED," Lord Borr, patient and merciful Lord Borr, "if you lot would be reaching for the stars. INDEED. INDEED. You WERE reaching. And did any of you SPACEMEN REACH THEM? DID YOU? Do you know what you would REACH IF YOU DID TOUCH A STAR???"
"YOU. WOULD. BE. BURNED!!!!" Lord Borr spit each word out purposefully. "BURNED."
Lord Borr had been SO WRAPPED UP in teaching and molding the minds of his young students that he had not heard the knock at the door. HE WOULD HAVE NEVER LEFT MISS MELITA IN THE HALLWAY.
He blushed from cheek to cheek to cheek to cheek. "WHY WHY WHY look what we HAVE HERE!!!! I was JUST teaching my class about REACHING for the stars, Missy Melita. ABOUT BEING BURNED! I think, and you tell me, Miss Melita, you tell me ---- but don't you THINK it would be better, more useful, more EDUCATIONAL for the students to touch me? TO TRULY TOUCH GREATNESS???"
"CLASS. COME TO ME. YOU MAY ALL HUG AND TOUCH ME. EVERYONE! TOGETHER! Take this ONCE IN A LIFETIME OPPORTUNITY TO REALLY REACH FOR GREATNESS ---- and ACHIEVE IT!!!"
Lord Borr beckoned all his students and Miss Melita to him with his arms spread wide, his trousers flapping in the wind, and the sweaty pits of his arms soaking through his shirt and coat. "AND MAKE IT SNAPPY. DON'T HAVE ALL DAY!!"
Hesitating only briefly, Cela took Lord Borr's hand and stood there awkwardly on her chair as he yelled about touching him. If she tried quite hard, she could pretend like her hand wasn't currently engulfed in sweaty flab...
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Berty Borr Lord Borr had been SOAKING UP the praise and hugs and was feeling REALLY GOOD about this tangent his class had taken. It was what the professionals (LIKE LORD BORR) called a "teachable moment." HE WAS THE GREATEST TEACHER ALIVE!!!!!!! EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!! One little boy had even went so far as to CLING TO HIS GREATNESS!! Lord Borr let him. Sweet, kind, giving Lord Borr let the little man get his FULL SHARE of LORD BORR.
But then Lord Borr was SOAKED IN VOMIT.
His sweet Melilta, sweet precious Melita, she tried to help. She did. She cleaned him up, offered him a cookie (which he'll be needing shortly), and really tried. But what happened next could only be described as this:
UNCONTROLLABLE PROJECTILE VOMITING
From his nose, his mouth, Lord Borr SPEWED the room with his stomach's contents. HE RAN AROUND, trying to get to that window but there was SOME GIRL IN THE WAY - so he turned and ran in the other direction...
STUDENTS WERE GETTING HIT WITH THE VOMIT. THE PROJECTILE VOMIT.
It would have been humiliating, like it was for that idiot girl that started all this, IF IT HAD BEEN LORD BORR'S FAULT. But, it was not. IT WAS ALL HER FAULT. Lord couldn't HELP that he had a weak stomach.
He fell down in the doorway, blocking the exit. Lord Borr landed belly first, sort of rolled and rocked to a stop on his mound-like belly, and laid there pitifully. Lord Borr did NOT like throwing up. HE DIDN'T HAVE TIME TO THROW UP! NOW HE WOULD JUST HAVE TO EAT AGAIN! LIKE HE HAD TIME FOR THAT!!!!!!
"I could use a cookie, Miss Melita, if you don't mind," Lord Borr, POOR LORD BORR, requested from the floor. Cela ducked in alarm when Lucy vomited on Borr and the next thing she knew he had turned into a giant humanish vomit hose. Celandine squeaked as she was tugged off the chair and as she landed on her knees she watched in horror as her classmates got hosed down. She was tugged around as Borr wobbled bodily around the room, slipping and sliding through the contents of Borr's stomach.
And then he fell and Celandine let out a little sob.
Her poor hand was STUCK under his BELLY.
Lip wibble.
The vomit could be worse, Cela was sure of that, and for now she ignored it in favour of pulling her wand and quietly cleaning herself and... Borr up. There were tears in the corners of her eyes and her hand was STUCK and SORE and her arm felt dreadfully WRONG.
But she didn't say anything, she just wibbled from her position, still on her knees with her arm stuck under Lord Borr.