Easier
Mood; Not good.



In the end, killing Dean Thomas was easy.

If you ask me now whether I loved him, whether the time I dated him was special for me, I would say that I did, and that it was. Love came into my life like a breath of fresh air, and it gave me a courage I had lacked before, a courage to reach for my dreams, a courage to touch them.

We were seventeen when we fell in love with each other. He was the one who encouraged me to choose the path that I felt was right, the one who told me he would support me, no matter what choice I made. His words were like rose petals, soft no matter no matter what angle they were felt from, and I found myself drowning in them, drowning as if I could never rise again.

But when I made my choice, it stunned him.

To say the least, I did not understand – could not understand why, after all those assurances of perpetual support, he left my side. He left me the day I told him I had chosen to dedicate my life to the Dark Lord’s service, left me wondering what I had done to offend him, to make him forget the love between us.

That many find the Dark Arts evil, that I understand. But Dean? Dean Thomas, who loved me – Dean Thomas, who had always told me he would never leave me! When he made those vows, there had never been a condition; when he made those vows, he had never said he would break them if I became a Death Eater!

Is loving a death eater wrong?



*

In the end, it was easy, easier than I had imagined when the Dark Lord had ordered me to kill a member of the Order of Phoenix, a member named Dean Thomas. In the end, it was easy, easier than I had imagined, easier despite the look of pure horror, pure disbelief on his face; despite the sweat that trickled down my forehead, down my palm – down his wandless hand.

In the end, all it took was a flick of my wand, and the silent noise of my heart breaking into a gazillion pieces.