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Hermione_loves_Ron · 09-08-2005, 10:57 PM

Ashlie sipped her drink slowly. Thinking on what Virosha said.

"Interests?" she asked. "Hah.... I hardly know anymore. The one thing I've done here that I enjoyed was Journalism, but we've no longer got the Quill. And I loved being a Prefect but now... its gotten to where its this hassle.... Everyone is careful and cautious around Ashlie. They always are. Ashlie has such a short temper. Be careful, she might blow up and go off on you. I know what they've said about me, think about me. I know they think I'm a nut case.

But... what if I am. How many people wake up at night unable to breathe? How many people look forward to crying because its the only way they remember they're still alive? I've gotten so lost, I don't know when. Somewhere along the parents and their many forms of abuse and the inability to live up to so many expectations and the perfect siblings and the desire to do so well, but failing anyway, and losing touch with people and putting so much in front of friendship, I got lost. Not just lost. So lost that I can't see what's right in front of my eyes. I feel sick all the time because I don't even know who I am.

"I have all these friends now who are already figuring out what they're going to do. My Muggle friends have jobs, some are married already, being that we're eighteen and older and all that. And here I am. Still in school. Still being degraded by family. I dont much talk to the Muggles anymore, since I moved. And during the summer... you know how you think you're alone but you know there's always some one there? I didn't even have that. I feared school as it was. "

She took a shakey, quivery breath. Yes. She came to her senses.

She was one messed up kid.

09-08-2005, 10:57 PM	#23 (permalink)
Hermione_loves_Ron Hungarian Horntail Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Saffron City Posts: 69,656 Hogwarts RPG Name: November {Noe} Franze First Year	Brain Twin \| MASTAH ASHURRII \| Reisdent PokeNerd \| Digifangirl Ashlie sipped her drink slowly. Thinking on what Virosha said. "Interests?" she asked. "Hah.... I hardly know anymore. The one thing I've done here that I enjoyed was Journalism, but we've no longer got the Quill. And I loved being a Prefect but now... its gotten to where its this hassle.... Everyone is careful and cautious around Ashlie. They always are. Ashlie has such a short temper. Be careful, she might blow up and go off on you. I know what they've said about me, think about me. I know they think I'm a nut case. But... what if I am. How many people wake up at night unable to breathe? How many people look forward to crying because its the only way they remember they're still alive? I've gotten so lost, I don't know when. Somewhere along the parents and their many forms of abuse and the inability to live up to so many expectations and the perfect siblings and the desire to do so well, but failing anyway, and losing touch with people and putting so much in front of friendship, I got lost. Not just lost. So lost that I can't see what's right in front of my eyes. I feel sick all the time because I don't even know who I am. "I have all these friends now who are already figuring out what they're going to do. My Muggle friends have jobs, some are married already, being that we're eighteen and older and all that. And here I am. Still in school. Still being degraded by family. I dont much talk to the Muggles anymore, since I moved. And during the summer... you know how you think you're alone but you know there's always some one there? I didn't even have that. I feared school as it was. " She took a shakey, quivery breath. Yes. She came to her senses. She was one messed up kid. __________________ 'Cause out of all the people I've known, the places I've been, the songs that I have sung, The wonders I've seen, now that the dreams are all coming true, who is the one that leads me on through? TUNE IN! POTTERWATCH && BOOKCLUB