Ch. 2

Snape stormed about his quarters with a pink polka-doted blue diaper bag over his shoulder. "Where is that dratted girl? She was supposed to be here immediately after breakfast. How I can look after the child and still...?" But then he looked at Draco lying on the bed chewing his own right foot and saying goo goo and such infantile comments.

Much against his will Snape sat down on the bed and cradled his godson. He looked into the silver eyes and said with amusement and regret, "How is it you have such power over me? It's not like you can tell you father about how I'm taking good care of you and get me in good with the Dark Lord, after all."

"Ahhhh!" he gasped grabbing his arm. The Dark Mark was burning like a live coal had been set against his skin. "Speak of the devil. And I use the term advisedly. He summons me at the most awkward times. Where is..."

"Sorry I'm late professor, I..."

"Spare me your excuses. Just take Mr. Malfoy up to your common room. I have work to do." His voice betrayed him not a wink but his face showed the pain he had just experienced.

"Professor, are you all..."

"Get OUT of here!" She got.

Snape took a pinch of powder from the jar over the fire place in his room. Hurling it into the fire he said, "Monks Farm" and whoosh he was gone.

*******

Monks Farm was aptly named, at least it was when it was built about five hundred years ago. It had been planned as a self sustaining monastery for one of the larger orders. In fact the monks who worked there were so efficient that they had a surplus most years and made a tidy sum from the marketing of their produce. With this money the abbots bought ancient scrolls from the mid east, some of which turned out to be rituals of the Greek gods. Some of the monks tried to re-enact the rituals and... well that was the end of things there.

With a history of magic it wasn't odd that the place was found comfortable by the greatest wizard of all time (or so he considered himself). When Snape arrived he found other Death Eaters waiting in the entrance hallway. They always seemed keyed up, but now they seemed actually worried about something. When Death Eaters worry, there must be something to worry about. After the ritual greetings he asked, "What's up?"

They looked over to the door to the main room. They looked like they would like to say something but didn't know how. The there came from the room the strangest sound Snape had ever heard.*

"I feel pretty,
Oh so pretty,
I feel pretty and witty and gay,
And I pity
Any girl who isn't me today.

I feel charming,
Oh so charming,
It's alarming how charming I feel,
And so pretty
That I hardly can believe I'm real."

There dancing about the room was none other than the Dark Lord himself. Or was he floating? No, his legs were moving but his feet were not touching the floor. And instead of his traditional black robes he was in rainbow hued gossamer. Snape was reminded of a long forgotten saying, "Don't laugh, it kept me out of the army."

The floating arch fiend notice Snape and plummeted downward greeting him. "Peter, Peter you naughty boy. How dare you keep me waiting." Voldemort's half closed eyes gave the most supercilious smirk. "Really now. You may be The Pan, you may rule the lost boys, but you must never keep waiting."

"Uh, yes of course my lord. I..."

"No no no, Peter. You must call me by my proper name."

"Uh, um... your proper name?"

The formerly Dark Lord gave a low throaty laugh that made even Snape's skin crawl. "I am Tinkerbell! Come, dance with me Peter." And the professor found himself lifting off of the floor and soaring about the room in Voldemort's arms.

*******

After what seemed an eternity the barmy young codger released the potions master who made for the entry hall. He asked Lucious Malfoy, "What in the name of all that's evil is happening here?"

Malfoy shrugged. "I don't know. He's been like that since the first of us arrived."

Crabbe said grimacing, "At least he didn't call you Wendy."

Before returning to Hogwarts Snape noticed three dementors entering the building. The one in the middle had a slow, loose jointed gait and paused every few steps to say, "Moooooooooo."

Snape said, "What's with him?"

"You tell him Bob."

"No, you tell him Bill."

"SOMEBODY TELL ME!"

The one called Bill said, "He thinks he's a cow. We've been around this dratted farm too long."

Approaching the fireplace for the trip back to Hogwarts Snape noticed through the window an enormous white furred creature high in the sky.

I Feel Pretty*Leonard Bernstein/Stephen Sandheim