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sweetpinkpixie · 10-29-2025, 01:02 PM

He tried to push it all down, the guilt, as she settled herself into the boat beside him. OWL year, that meant she had really important classes and studies she should be focusing on. He felt positively awful that she was here. He was the distraction, the dead weight, the cautionary tale hiding under a boat cover. The guilt pressed against his ribs until he could almost feel it sprouting tendrils, wrapping tight around his lungs. He told himself he was fine. Functioning. Managing perfectly well as long as you ignored the bits where he wasn't attending Herbology and was actively avoiding people who might notice and drag him to class. Eventually the headmaster would catch on, but that was a problem for Future Nyle. Present Nyle was faaaaaaaaaaaaaaar too busy pretending this patchwork routine counted as recovery.

His chest began to tighten in a way that had nothing to do with Aurora. His own OWLs, coursework, expectations... all the things he’d once been good at. Now they loomed like overgrown thorns, each thought snagging on another until he couldn’t tell where to start untangling and prune. Missed lessons became missed weeks and suddenly he was standing at the edge of failure with dirt under his nails and nothing to show for it. It didn't matter that his own were a year off, the idea of sitting for his exams felt impossible...how could someone so completely unraveled ever be ready for that?

"NotevenIris," he erupted - not entirely of volcanic, but enough to echo off the boathouse walls and startle even himself. Iris had already taken it upon herself to help Aurora with her OWL studies and he didn’t need that connection used against him too. He exhaled, the sound shaky and thin, then scrubbed both hands down his face as if he could smooth away the evidence of his fraying composure. "Sorry," he muttered after moment. "Didn’t mean to bark. Just—" he gestured vaguely at the boat, the books, the chaos of ink-stained parchment around him, "—mid-grindylow existential crisis, you know how it is. Or maybe you don't because you're....perfect"

Like a camelli, everything in the right place and not a petal out of turn Meanwhile, here he was trying to photosynthesize in the dark.

10-29-2025, 01:02 PM	#8 (permalink)
sweetpinkpixie SSRPG Admin Gladrags Mod Quibbler Mod Minister for Magic Alley Proprietor Sea Serpent Join Date: Aug 2010 Location: The Paths Posts: 41,523 Hogwarts RPG Name: Professor Cox Ravenclaw Graduated Hogwarts RPG Name: CJ Miller Gryffindor Fourth Year Hogwarts RPG Name: Nyle Harden Hufflepuff Seventh Year Hogwarts RPG Name: Iris Harden Ravenclaw Seventh Year Hogwarts RPG Name: Jae-hyuk Anouilh Slytherin Seventh Year Ministry Department Head: Charles Hollingberry Minister's Office Ministry Department Head: Airey Flamsteed Mysteries Diagon Alley Proprietor: Victor García Massey Ollivanders x12 x12	astronomizzle ♧ gryffinDORK \| & the rest is drag ♣ #badluckDerf He tried to push it all down, the guilt, as she settled herself into the boat beside him. OWL year, that meant she had really important classes and studies she should be focusing on. He felt positively awful that she was here. He was the distraction, the dead weight, the cautionary tale hiding under a boat cover. The guilt pressed against his ribs until he could almost feel it sprouting tendrils, wrapping tight around his lungs. He told himself he was fine. Functioning. Managing perfectly well as long as you ignored the bits where he wasn't attending Herbology and was actively avoiding people who might notice and drag him to class. Eventually the headmaster would catch on, but that was a problem for Future Nyle. Present Nyle was faaaaaaaaaaaaaaar too busy pretending this patchwork routine counted as recovery. His chest began to tighten in a way that had nothing to do with Aurora. His own OWLs, coursework, expectations... all the things he’d once been good at. Now they loomed like overgrown thorns, each thought snagging on another until he couldn’t tell where to start untangling and prune. Missed lessons became missed weeks and suddenly he was standing at the edge of failure with dirt under his nails and nothing to show for it. It didn't matter that his own were a year off, the idea of sitting for his exams felt impossible...how could someone so completely unraveled ever be ready for that? "NotevenIris," he erupted - not entirely of volcanic, but enough to echo off the boathouse walls and startle even himself. Iris had already taken it upon herself to help Aurora with her OWL studies and he didn’t need that connection used against him too. He exhaled, the sound shaky and thin, then scrubbed both hands down his face as if he could smooth away the evidence of his fraying composure. "Sorry," he muttered after moment. "Didn’t mean to bark. Just—" he gestured vaguely at the boat, the books, the chaos of ink-stained parchment around him, "—mid-grindylow existential crisis, you know how it is. Or maybe you don't because you're....perfect" Like a camelli, everything in the right place and not a petal out of turn Meanwhile, here he was trying to photosynthesize in the dark. __________________ We broke into a million pieces, and we can't go back......................................... But now we're seeing all the beauty in the broken glass..................................... The scars are part of me, darkness and harmony My voice without the lies, this is what it sounds like