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sweetpinkpixie · 04-17-2025, 03:31 AM

Zachaël stood with one elbow on the counter, quill twitching between his fingers, and an expression that was intrigued and but primarily exasperated. A delivery of seasonal stamps sat open in front of him, a small crowd of vividly illustrated postage squares shifting about like tiny restless playing cards.

"I cannot believe I have to say this," he began, in that dangerously calm tone reserved for postal emergencies and misbehaving owls, "but stamps—actual, adhesive stamps—should not be out here making personal attacks on customers." His tone, calm and deeply unimpressed, sent even his owls scrambling for a more professional posture "I have now received three separate customer complaints regarding gossip, slander, and what I can only describe as unsolicited attitude from allegedly you lot." His head snapped around to glare at a daisy-printed stamp that just let our a scandalized 'tsk'. "No, NO, there is absolutely no reason to say that any gentleman smells like expired Amortentia and desperation nor should ANY of you feel so inclined implied any of MY customers forged their N.E.W.T. results, or insulted their shoes, or that any haircut screams 'midlife crisis'....especially my own.”

Did these stamps really just shiver with.... pride? Zachaël closed his eyes for exactly three seconds. He’d dealt with exploding ink, overly affectionate parchment, and an owl that insisted on wearing a monocle, but this? This was new. He pinched the bridge of his nose, breathing out slowly through it while silently reminding himself that it would be a poor financial decision to burn the whole lot. "For the love of―" he grumbled, running his hand wildly through his hair. "No more sales for any of you and I will have you reassigned to the junk mail pile for a fortnight at least while I sort out...what in the bloody hell happened to this shipment." Had his sophisticated, high-class owl order somehow been muddled with something meant for Weasleys’ Wizard Wheezes? Or—Merlin help him—was some wayward child in the Alley currently experiencing the highlight of their young life because their experimental jinx had actually worked? Zachaël wasn't sure what was more insulting: the implication that Owl Post could be confused with a novelty shop or that he might now have to write a sternly worded letter to a student.

"Now then," he said, flicking his towel back over his shoulder like a cloak of authority. "Let’s start with whoever told a Ministry intern that she smelled like dragonfruit and treason. Own up, and be specific about your tone. I promise I've put the matches away for the time being."

04-17-2025, 03:31 AM	#10 (permalink)
sweetpinkpixie SSRPG Admin Gladrags Mod Quibbler Mod Minister for Magic Alley Proprietor Sea Serpent Join Date: Aug 2010 Location: The Paths Posts: 41,485 Hogwarts RPG Name: Professor Cox Ravenclaw Graduated Hogwarts RPG Name: CJ Miller Gryffindor Fourth Year Hogwarts RPG Name: Nyle Harden Hufflepuff Seventh Year Hogwarts RPG Name: Iris Harden Ravenclaw Seventh Year Hogwarts RPG Name: Jae-hyuk Anouilh Slytherin Seventh Year Ministry Department Head: Charles Hollingberry Minister's Office Ministry Department Head: Airey Flamsteed Mysteries Diagon Alley Proprietor: Victor García Massey Ollivanders x12 x12	open! astronomizzle ♧ gryffinDORK \| & the rest is drag ♣ #badluckDerf Zachaël stood with one elbow on the counter, quill twitching between his fingers, and an expression that was intrigued and but primarily exasperated. A delivery of seasonal stamps sat open in front of him, a small crowd of vividly illustrated postage squares shifting about like tiny restless playing cards. "I cannot believe I have to say this," he began, in that dangerously calm tone reserved for postal emergencies and misbehaving owls, "but stamps—actual, adhesive stamps—should not be out here making personal attacks on customers." His tone, calm and deeply unimpressed, sent even his owls scrambling for a more professional posture "I have now received three separate customer complaints regarding gossip, slander, and what I can only describe as unsolicited attitude from allegedly you lot." His head snapped around to glare at a daisy-printed stamp that just let our a scandalized 'tsk'. "No, NO, there is absolutely no reason to say that any gentleman smells like expired Amortentia and desperation nor should ANY of you feel so inclined implied any of MY customers forged their N.E.W.T. results, or insulted their shoes, or that any haircut screams 'midlife crisis'....especially my own.” Did these stamps really just shiver with.... pride? Zachaël closed his eyes for exactly three seconds. He’d dealt with exploding ink, overly affectionate parchment, and an owl that insisted on wearing a monocle, but this? This was new. He pinched the bridge of his nose, breathing out slowly through it while silently reminding himself that it would be a poor financial decision to burn the whole lot. "For the love of―" he grumbled, running his hand wildly through his hair. "No more sales for any of you and I will have you reassigned to the junk mail pile for a fortnight at least while I sort out...what in the bloody hell happened to this shipment." Had his sophisticated, high-class owl order somehow been muddled with something meant for Weasleys’ Wizard Wheezes? Or—Merlin help him—was some wayward child in the Alley currently experiencing the highlight of their young life because their experimental jinx had actually worked? Zachaël wasn't sure what was more insulting: the implication that Owl Post could be confused with a novelty shop or that he might now have to write a sternly worded letter to a student. "Now then," he said, flicking his towel back over his shoulder like a cloak of authority. "Let’s start with whoever told a Ministry intern that she smelled like dragonfruit and treason. Own up, and be specific about your tone. I promise I've put the matches away for the time being." __________________ We broke into a million pieces, and we can't go back......................................... But now we're seeing all the beauty in the broken glass..................................... The scars are part of me, darkness and harmony My voice without the lies, this is what it sounds like