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sweetpinkpixie · 03-03-2025, 12:20 AM

Atlas swallowed hard, eyes fixed on the origami ladybug between them, as if it might fold in on itself and disappear, taking this entire conversation with it - just like Quinn had done all those years ago. His breath came uneven, a quiet tremor behind his ribs, but his face remained impassive. Quinn didn’t care if this was fair to him. Of course, they didn’t. They had years to make peace with what happened because they knew the circumstances. They had all the information and therefore the luxury to make peace. Unlike Atlas who had had to suffer and endure the worst of his imagination and doubts. Unlike Atlas who had had no choice but construct a narrative and give up silver linings to emotionally survive. And now here was Quinn, tearing through the Gryffindor's carefully built distance with words too raw, too earnest, too much. His fingers twitched against his notebook, itching to flee, to end this before the ground beneath him completely caved in or worse - he started crying. But something about the way Quinn looked at him - the desperation, the absolute unwillingness to let him slip away - kept him rooted to the bench. Kept him listening. Kept him feeling - and he wanted anything but to do that.

Quinn being here, demanding a chance, demanding forgiveness—it wasn’t just about them. It never was. If Atlas let Quinn in, if he allowed them the space to prove that absence didn’t have to mean abandonment, then what did that mean for his brother? If he forgave Quinn, did that mean he had to forgive him, too? You see, Atlas had cut out his brother as well. It hadn't been intentional at first but ultimately became violent erosion of their bond. His brother had left Hogwarts early, chasing after his mentor, disappearing into distant countries in pursuit of healing while Atlas had been left behind to pick up the pieces of a life shattered by war alone. And then, when he finally did settle, when he did come back, it was with her - someone Atlas could only see as toxic, corrosive, someone who had never once made him feel like he mattered. It wasn’t just the distance that hurt. It was the choice, the choices. His brother had chosen to go. Chosen her. And to Atlas, that felt like abandonment worse Quinn leaving had - worse than any torture he could have endured by the Neo-Alliance. It had been easier to just stop trying, to let the silence between them stretch until it became permanent. Until it didn’t hurt anymore. Or at least, until he could pretend it didn't.

Atlas was not ready for that - he couldn't be. The hurt ran too deep, tangled into the very foundation of who he had become. His brother had left twice - first for his ambitions, then for someone Atlas only ever see as poison. He had spent years hardening himself against the ache of it, convincing himself that if people could walk away so easily, then they had never meant to stay - people like Quinn. If Atlas cracked open the door even an inch, he wasn’t sure he could stop the flood that would come with it. As much as he hated the silence, he hated the idea of being hurt again even more.

So it was easy to find even the smallest phrase to latch on to and lash out with.

Atlas recoiled at the suggestion he hit them, his expression twisting with something almost like betrayal. "Hit you?" he repeated, his voice low but sharp. "Are you serious?" His hands curled into fists - not out of anger, but restraint, disgust at the very thought. "You, of all people, should know better than to say that to me."

03-03-2025, 12:20 AM	#71 (permalink)
sweetpinkpixie Wizarding World RPG Admin Gladrags Mod Minister for Magic Alley Proprietor Leprechaun Join Date: Aug 2010 Location: The Paths Posts: 40,845 Hogwarts RPG Name: Professor Cox Ravenclaw Graduated Hogwarts RPG Name: Briallen Ashburry-Hawthorne Gryffindor Third Year Hogwarts RPG Name: Nyle Harden Hufflepuff Fourth Year Hogwarts RPG Name: Iris Harden Ravenclaw Fourth Year Hogwarts RPG Name: Calliope Barrington Slytherin Third Year Ministry Department Head: Charles Hollingberry Minister's Office Ministry Department Head: Airey Flamsteed Mysteries Diagon Alley Proprietor: Zachaël Lufkin Owl Post x12 x12	astronomizzle ♧ gryffinDORK \| & the rest is drag ♣ #badluckDerf Atlas swallowed hard, eyes fixed on the origami ladybug between them, as if it might fold in on itself and disappear, taking this entire conversation with it - just like Quinn had done all those years ago. His breath came uneven, a quiet tremor behind his ribs, but his face remained impassive. Quinn didn’t care if this was fair to him. Of course, they didn’t. They had years to make peace with what happened because they knew the circumstances. They had all the information and therefore the luxury to make peace. Unlike Atlas who had had to suffer and endure the worst of his imagination and doubts. Unlike Atlas who had had no choice but construct a narrative and give up silver linings to emotionally survive. And now here was Quinn, tearing through the Gryffindor's carefully built distance with words too raw, too earnest, too much. His fingers twitched against his notebook, itching to flee, to end this before the ground beneath him completely caved in or worse - he started crying. But something about the way Quinn looked at him - the desperation, the absolute unwillingness to let him slip away - kept him rooted to the bench. Kept him listening. Kept him feeling - and he wanted anything but to do that. Quinn being here, demanding a chance, demanding forgiveness—it wasn’t just about them. It never was. If Atlas let Quinn in, if he allowed them the space to prove that absence didn’t have to mean abandonment, then what did that mean for his brother? If he forgave Quinn, did that mean he had to forgive him, too? You see, Atlas had cut out his brother as well. It hadn't been intentional at first but ultimately became violent erosion of their bond. His brother had left Hogwarts early, chasing after his mentor, disappearing into distant countries in pursuit of healing while Atlas had been left behind to pick up the pieces of a life shattered by war alone. And then, when he finally did settle, when he did come back, it was with her - someone Atlas could only see as toxic, corrosive, someone who had never once made him feel like he mattered. It wasn’t just the distance that hurt. It was the choice, the choices. His brother had chosen to go. Chosen her. And to Atlas, that felt like abandonment worse Quinn leaving had - worse than any torture he could have endured by the Neo-Alliance. It had been easier to just stop trying, to let the silence between them stretch until it became permanent. Until it didn’t hurt anymore. Or at least, until he could pretend it didn't. Atlas was not ready for that - he couldn't be. The hurt ran too deep, tangled into the very foundation of who he had become. His brother had left twice - first for his ambitions, then for someone Atlas only ever see as poison. He had spent years hardening himself against the ache of it, convincing himself that if people could walk away so easily, then they had never meant to stay - people like Quinn. If Atlas cracked open the door even an inch, he wasn’t sure he could stop the flood that would come with it. As much as he hated the silence, he hated the idea of being hurt again even more. So it was easy to find even the smallest phrase to latch on to and lash out with. Atlas recoiled at the suggestion he hit them, his expression twisting with something almost like betrayal. "Hit you?" he repeated, his voice low but sharp. "Are you serious?" His hands curled into fists - not out of anger, but restraint, disgust at the very thought. "You, of all people, should know better than to say that to me." __________________ We broke into a million pieces, and we can't go back......................................... But now we're seeing all the beauty in the broken glass..................................... The scars are part of me, darkness and harmony My voice without the lies, this is what it sounds like