SPOILER!!: you mean Jude*
Quote:
Originally Posted by
FearlessLeader19 
Jude truly missed the smiles. This small one wasn’t the one he was used to. Evan didn’t know it but Jude would sneak glances at him {this was before the Hufflepuff had decided it was best to avoid Evan as much as possible} and would often admire the bigger smiles. He had meant what he had said last term: as long as Evan was happy, then that was all that mattered. Finally, the huge realisation washed over Jude: he really, really missed Evan.
That realisation and this entire fiasco with the CD had him on the edge. FOR THE LOVE OF MERLIN. Evan had listened to the CD. The fourth year almost panicked. “I’m glad you liked the songs.” This much was rather the truth because these songs were the best songs he could find that made him think of Evan, or rather, the songs that described his feelings for Evan. He found himself making a mental note: Ev likes ballads. Jude didn’t know what the point of that was but all he knew was that he liked everything about Evan. He cared about his likes, his dislikes, everything. And though he liked the blonde hair, he preferred the dark strands.
The Hufflepuff was not sure if the Ravenclaw figured out the meaning of the songs on the CD or the hearts but he decided to play innocent. “The CD? No. I didn’t know it had been in that stack.” It wasn’t supposed to be. And there weren’t supposed to be hearts all around your name. He sighed and finally was able to meet Evan’s dark brown eyes with him. “It’s not your fault, Ev. It’s alright.’’ Jude was still hurt, still under the impression that Evan was dating Valentina.
Truthfully, Evan wasn't smiling much these days to begin with. It wasn't just this situation with Jude avoiding him, though that certainly played apart. It was a lot of things that he'd been avoiding for years now and it was all finding ways to surface in his life. And with it all happening at one time, he was having a difficult time coping. Though this certainly was not a time to talk about that, though Jude would have been one of the only ones he would have considered talking to.
He supposed that was out of the question now.
The Ravenclaw could not say with 100% certainty he knew, given he hadn't asked and received the confirmation on it. Reagan had certainly solidified what he assumed to be the truth, but since she still was not the Hufflepuff directly there was still a marginal percentage left for error. Though Jude's current reaction to Evan having spotted the CD? It was making that margin even smaller than it had been before.
"The CD is... not exactly what I meant." He meant the reason the CD had been created. Or the reason there was hearts all around his name on it. Should he say that out loud? Probably, but he didn't want to embarrass Jude either if it was not something he actually wanted to talk about.
And while... he was half right, it hadn't been his fault in the sense he hadn't KNOWN that still didn't make him entirely blameless. It was things that he said and had done that caused him pain unnecessarily, even if unintentionally.
"I still shouldn't have bothered you with any of it. Talking about last valentine's day and everything. Especially when it was nothing anyways." Just a good friendship, that he did cherish, but they'd both established it was nothing more at this time other than that.