 Tell Them I'm Trapped in an Oil Painting
Her audience was growing! But the Fat Lady could not shake the disrespect she felt in that one little Gryffindor Miss just VANISHING before she had offered proper homage to the singing sensation of Hogwarts castle!
Though such anguish was soon softened by the arrival of more students. More AUDIENCE members. Audience members who then began chitting and chatting over one another almost as though she were NOT present.
"PAAAAAAAAAAAArdoooooooooooooooooooon," she sang, her first notes high pitched and ending several octaves below her natural range.
Turning towards the young lady who had referred to her as professor, the Fat Lady removed the floral arrangement from her hair and WHACKED her [Waterloo] over the head with it. "Soz? Squidge? Nutter? Where HAVE you been learning your vocabulary and manners? They are horrendoooooooooooooouuuuuuuuuuuuuus!" Another long note was held in vibrato for all their benefits.
And THEN she finally heard the meek voice of the girl [Granger Danger] who had been listening to her prior and the Fat Lady lifted her white silk train from the ground so she could turn in SWISHING ELEGANCE. "That is NOT one how stands. Straighten your shoulders and breathe from your diaphragm. At least pretend to appear less disheveled than you are."
Choosing to be oblivious to other matters, the Fat Lady straightened herself and gave the young man standing nearby [Harron Peasley] a whack with her flower crown once more (this time against the boy's chest). "I require a duet partner for my next arias," she informed him. "You'll DO."
And then she began BELTING out Libiamo ne’lieti calici, expecting him to KNOW when to join in. |