Quote:
Originally Posted by
Silver Ninja
He had absolutely no idea whatsoever what he should do or think or say or ANYTHING really. He felt totally lost. The cold was starting to seep in, and he shivered a little at the cold. He was too miserable to really notice though, and that said something considering he hated the cold.
He was hoping Ed had comforted Amelia, he wasn't sure if he should be hoping for him to have shown Amelia that really it wasn't supposed to have happened or not. Ed had punched him, so seriously? Most likely he hadn't really said much.
He heard snow crunching under feet on the pathway and hoped that whoever it was wouldn't notice him, and then ask why he was leaning against the tree without a jacket on. His attention turned when he heard the voice though, and quickly found Amelia nearby.
His nose was already starting to run due to the few tears that had fallen and the lump in his throat, so it didn't help the cold now seeping in. He moved to lift his hand towards her again but dropped it after a half attempt remembering her reaction the last time he'd done that back in the courtyard.
How could she say that if she thought he didn't love her anymore? He didn't want to ask that though, because it wouldn't help matters at all! Swallowing he finally spoke "Ye would?" he croaked out. Before biting his lip and swallowing again "Why? I've basically ruined me chances at even proving te ye thet I don' want anyone else."
Sighing he shook his head and looked down "I've never wanted te be with anyone befer ye." Looking back up he licked his lips trying to keep them from chapping "I still don' want anyone but ye. I never wanted this te ever happen." he said softly. Wishing and hoping she believed him.
"I still...want te give ye thet ring." he said softly stepping away from the tree towards her "But I don' want ye thinking I don' love ye, thet I don' want te be with ye. Because yer me world."
"Because, even though right now I feel like a thousand knives are stabbing me in my heart and part of me wants nothing more than to walk away when things are hard..." which had been a habit before Isaac, maybe her Arithmancy chart thingie really was telling the truth. Licking her lips and wrapping her arms around herself, attempting to suppress a shiver she smiled nervously, and sadly at Isaac.
"While part of me wants that it's not the biggest part. Even right now, even before when I was screaming at you in the Courtyard, the majority of me was screaming that I needed you, that you could make this alright...So I don't trust you at the moment, trust has to be earned, you had it once, and it broke with my heart," she whispered the last part, dropping her head as a few more tears slipped down her face. This was harder than she thought it would be.
"But, but the fact that I wanted you to hold me lets me know that fixing this wont be impossible. I love you, and I do know that you love me, but you know I have issues, and sometimes I'd get scared that they'd push you away. And I'm too possessive and I can be so insecure, and this term I'd been so angry and distant that when you told me. I thought, well I thought that maybe you'd reached your breaking point with me and that I'd pushed too hard. Hard enough that it didn't matter that you loved me, you just couldn't deal with me anymore. It wouldn't be the first time it's happened," Amelia told him, her tone that of a small and confused child, one who'd had their negatives pointed out one too many times, enough for them to know that they were true and not just perceived.
"So, so I didn't doubt that you love me, just as I love you, I just thought that you couldn't deal anymore and that you maybe wanted a simpler relationship," she said, shrugging in a rather hopeless and dejected manner.
Biting her lip Amelia moved closer to Isaac, enough that she was in reaching distance. Part of her was shouting that she shouldn't be that close to him, but she knew she had too. If there was any chance of this working then he had to be willing to touch her, and she had to be willing to let him, and to be affectionate in return. "Would you stay away from Sutton for me? At least for now. You might not want anything with her but Ed confirmed that she knew about me, and that she kissed you anyway. If I wasn't sure that fixing us was more important I'd probably be out hexing her into a thousand tiny pieces right now," she said the last piece through gritted teeth and her eyes flashed briefly with a deep seated hatred, before going back to normal.
"Th-then, y-you should as-sk me a-at Ch-ris-ss-tmas li-ike you pl-pla-planned," Amelia got out through chattering teeth as the icy tentacles of the wind seemed to go right through her body and into her soul. It really was too cold out here without a coat and she was starting to regret her earlier charitable heart. She really should have told Ed that she didn't want the coat back earlier.