 ♣ Heejin here | Did somebody say coffee & cakes? | cat lover ♣
. . .
This wasn't right. None of it was. Why is it that every single time he goes somewhere to do something very productive it ends up being...... well, exactly like this. It happened during his talk with the Hufflepuff and now it is happening again with Kurumi. It just feels like ending the term tomorrow is the best way to go. He could no longer have anything to do with this. However, it wasn't fair. Even for him. He knew that things with Kurumi should be settled once and for all. They did have a messy break up and they both end up hurting each one a lot. So this conversation is sort of a closure to the two of them. Where do they now stand? How do they sort this out?
Fact is, Jonathan himself can't even answer those questions. He literally has no idea on it. Kurumi blaming him on certain things is not making him even better. Times like these that he gets frustrated at himself as well, for not being to able to show much more than a blank face and answer. No, there needed to be done.
He saw Kurumi cry and once again he looked away, avoiding those tears running down her face. It's awful, to see her cry and to see him barely putting up with it. It's not fair.... not fair at all. Then his eyes snapped back as he heard the necklace on the ground. The beat on his heart palpitated faster, he wanted to run over and catch it, only he didn't. He just stood there, watched it bouncing and watched her staring back at him.
NO!!!!
Before he could even move nor say anything, Kurumi is once again talking back He gasped for air and tried so hard to keep his calm. This is not fair! To him, it's not. "I was mad, okay!" his voice is now raised once again. He was, and possibly, Kurumi knew that too. "I was gone for 6 months Kurumi. 6 months and you kissed someone you barely knew." which probably triggered his anger towards her the most "I wasn't even dead to begin with." he continued "Okay. I'm sorry, I never wrote back to you. I didn't send you flowers or sent you any response about me still breathing on the other side of the globe..." his voice is now louder "---What do you think I would feel about this?" it's the first time that his voice was this loud and to Kurumi too. He needed a chair or water to calm himself down. He didn't want this to happen but it just did. It hurts him, the fact that he is irritated and is raising his voice at her. It is frightening him right now.
Gasping for more air, Jonathan leaned against the wall and calmed himself down by looking at the necklace. His thoughts were off somewhere, nothing in particular. He hated this, every single part of it.
It's really affecting him that she thinks that Jonathan purposely handed the Hufflepuff those music sheets to gave them back to her. That was not it. Rasting was the only person he could trust to deliver them safely to her. It's not like he could ask Louisa because that would just be dumb. Those two were his only options. He had no choice. However all the things that she is saying has officially made Jonathan speechless.
He admits it, she's right. He should have handed those sheets himself but his pride wouldn't let him. He knew those would only hurt her but still he did it. That was selfish of him to do so.
We both have two very different lives...and I understand now that you don't want to have any part in mine...
By far, that is the most hurtful thing that Kurumi had said to him and he can't even say anything about it. Arguing with her didn't make points for either one of them. Plus, it's not even doing any progress to any of these. Jonathan swallowed the big, hard lump on his throat. This made him sad, it made him want to weep.
Without thinking about it, his feet dragged him to slowly take took a few steps to her, ignoring the necklace. His face is still blank but his eyes looked sadder than ever. He couldn't even open his mouth to answer her anymore, it was like she already said the things that hurts him the most and he accepts it. Then all of a sudden, Jonathan just reached out and hugged her with his head buried on her shoulder. Both of his arms hugged her tightly that even if she struggled to let go, she can't.
It's what he wanted he right now......... a hug. The one thing that he has been wanting for the past months. And for the first time, he slowly whimpered followed by a few tears.
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