Kurumi stopped moving when he stepped backwards until he was pinned against the tree. She knew she shouldn't have taken those steps, but she had. She knew that what her and Lewis were doing wasn't right, but they did it anyway. She knew that she should have told him when she saw him at the fountain, but she didn't. There were so many things that she knew and didn't do. People were always telling her that she was brilliant. That she should have been a Ravenclaw. Brilliant people didn't do THIS to people.

His next words stabbed her. I trusted you....all the time. That was it. That was the difference between her and him. She could point the blame many places, but in return all those places could point the finger right back to her. It didn't matter the outside influences, that what had been done to her by a certain Gryffindor who she refused to name had scared her. That she had been left unable to trust for so long...unable to believe...

But she had broken that. No one else. Her. There was no fixing that. He could never trust her again. He had every right to that.

And then his tone changed and Kurumi felt her heart stop beating entirely. What else? Kurumi's eyes lifted again to his almost hesitantly. She didn't want to see the pain she had caused. Didn't want him to see the same pain reflected in her own eyes. Even though his face was still blank, Kurumi knew him well enough, knew every feature of his eyes, to know that he was anything but blank right now. She couldn't bring herself to answer his question, however, and instead whimpered loudly as she was back to wrapping her arms around herself again.

When his hands were on her shoulders, meaning to be some form of comfort, Kurumi's entire body shook as if in pain. In a sense she was. His touch hurt her. It hurt her heart. She wanted to push his hands off her. They shouldn't be there, or if they had to be there, they should be shaking her. He should be yelling at her. But comforting her....it was torture.

Her eyes were on him again and for the first time she realized just how close he had come to her....and then she gasped. She felt as though Jonathan had just reached inside her and pulled her heart right out of her chest. Her breath was gone now and Kurumi felt like she was in some sort of alternate reality. There was no sound. No light. No anything.

"Y-You know I don't want that..." she whimpered. Never speaking to him again was something Kurumi could not comprehend. Not after everything. Not after she had opened up to him like she hadn't for others. "J-Jonathan...I just lost my mother...don't make me lose you too..."

But it was already too late, wasn't it? Wasn't she already losing whatever part of him she had? He couldn't trust her again, not with her feeling the way she did about Lewis. And she couldn't just stop feeling what she did...about either of them. She wanted to reached out, take a hold of Jonathan's shirt and keep him there. Keep him from leaving...and then his hands were off her shoulders and on his lap...and so hers too remained where they were.

Still, Kurumi knew this was it. That this was the moment where she was faced with a choice. A choice that she HAD to make and while she thought she had already made it...now she found that the lump in her throat was stopping her from saying anything more. So instead she asked a question. "How...how can you still act like you want this, us, when....when you can't trust me?"

That was it. A simple fact. Logic. How could you want to be with someone that had broken your trust not once, but twice, and was still doing so because they still had feelings for the other person? Because, no matter how much Kurumi wanted to be with Jonathan. No matter how much he made her heart race and made her feel things she had never felt before... she still couldn't shake what she felt for Lewis.

It wasn't fair. Not to anyone. It was all or nothing.