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hjhm · 05-06-2012, 03:15 PM

SPOILER!!: T____T

Quote:

Originally Posted by sweetpinkpixie

The urge to take a step towards him, especially after he took another one away from her, was overwhelming. She wanted to just run to him, throw her arms around him, and cry into his chest while he held her. Just like they used to do. Just like he had done not a few weeks ago when she had happened to meet him in the aisle of whatever store that had been. She couldn't even remember what shop it had been. The only important thing was that he had been there. He had been there for her and now...now she couldn't be there for him or he for her.

Kurumi gasped for air as the tears overtook her, different tears from the last ones he had seen falling down her face. Kurumi couldn't even begin to describe what all was in these tears. Sadness. Guilt. Depression. Anger. Frustration. Take your pick, because they were all there in some shape with each tear that ran down her pale features.

Things only got worse when he began piecing together what she had just said. That there had been two kisses and only one of them was one she could remember. It didn't matter though, the fact that there had been more than one was what made Jonathan look at though he were about to fall over and this time Kurumi DID step forward, reaching out her hand towards him before stopping when he spoke.

Shutting her eyes tight again, her eyes burning from the liquid fire in them, Kurumi opened her mouth to speak, but found her words were gone again and all she could do was nod. Nod to confirm that yes, there was another time. Another time where her loyalty had been tested and she hadn't remained true.

And then the way his body changed after she had said just one word sent a cold shiver through her entire body and her hands went to her face to hide it as she cried even more fiercely. She hated this. Hated seeing Jonathan like this. Hated knowing that she was the cause of this. Hated realizing that he cared for her THAT much to be reacting like he was. Hated that she wasn't the girl he thought she was. Hated that she wasn't the girl he needed...or maybe even wanted.

He shouldn't. Not after all this.

Kurumi lowered her hands suddenly, eyes back on him, and her mouth hung open as she was temporarily stunned by the firm tone in his voice. "What was I supposed to do? Put all this in a letter? I had that happen to me...and it was awful...cowardly... I...I wanted to tell you sooner...in person" Like the day at the fountain. "...but....being near you again... I... I couldn't..." Her hands were on either side of her neck now, holding her head in place so that she wouldn't look away. She needed him to see the strange honest in her eyes. "And what charade? The one...the one where I love you?" Because that was no charade. That was real...and that was why this hurt so much. That is what made Kurumi feel sick to her stomach and like she was about to collapse.

She needed to hold on to something, anything, but the only thing close to them was the tree he was leaning on...and she dare not get too close right now - even if she had taken a step or two closer earlier.

And then...the words that she had been telling herself over and over again inside her head suddenly came out before she could stop herself. "You deserve someone better." Someone not like her. Someone who trusted him completely, because she hadn't. She had faltered when he had given her no reason to.

Jonathan felt a bit cautious with everything right now. He observed her every move and even though he hates that he can't even do anything for now but just to stare at her like that. Somehow looking at her like that, he was reminded of what it was like before. Before this happened. He remembered every piece of memory they both had like it was photo. The time when they first confessed to each other at this very same place, the time when he played her the piano on Valentines' day, the time when his mother took her shopping, the time when she laughed how silly he looked like in his blonde hair, the time when they danced in their traditional costumes... It was a lot an for awhile, just for that second, his eyes went blurry.

But his fingers immediately wiped it away. It was a reflex of him everytime he can sense that he is about to cry. He doesn't want to be seen this way.

She nodded. Of course she did. Jonathan was ready enough for that which already made him feel uneasy even from before he asked her that question. He once again shifted his gaze on the scenery behind her. His thoughts just going around like wildfire. It's too much to handle even for him. His hands were a bit shaky but he can still manage it.

"You mean to tell me that I have been gone for awhile and this happened?" now he already blunt about asking her questions. Jonathan was having a hard time trying to reel out answers from her and he doesn't go well with that. He may sound really rude right now but it was the only way to give him the right answers.

What was done is already done, Jonathan was just surprised that she never said anything to him before. She even waited the whole summer and the whole train ride to be finish and now this happens? How would he obviously react to it? He understands that it has been so long since they last meet and she was hurting because of her mother's condition but was there really a need to postpone this issue too? That he couldn't understand.

Jonathan right now just feels completely stupid about all of these.

"I wasn't expecting you to write in a letter" he replied back as soon as she said it. He kicked the stone and looked at it as it slowly rolls on the side. "I was at least expecting you'd tell it to me sooner" he added. Sooner... she could have just said it to him when they met over the summer, right? It wouldn't even be hurtful that way.

He locked his eyes over to her once more as he tried fixing his eyeglasses "Funny thing was..." he said not cracking up a smile "... I was expecting you to hex me for leaving you just like that and not even sending you all the letters you want..." he added, "and right now, hexing me would have been less painful" he said whimpering. Yes, hexing would have really been less painful than being cheated on.

I love you??? He can no longer look at her the same way that she wanted him too. It was a bit harder to believe this time, considering that her kissing Lewis happened months before they both said it. He shook his head slowly, subconsciously. He wasn't even aware that he did it.

You deserve someone better.

Is it? Because right now he doesn't feel anything. He felt like he just suddenly felt numb that even if it suddenly snowed, he wouldn't even feel cold. He wiped that sweat on his forehead with his handkerchief, her words pierced on him like a needle. "W-what are you trying to say?"

And he doesn't even want to know what she really is trying to say.

05-06-2012, 03:15 PM	#19 (permalink)
hjhm MO & DMLE Jobberknoll Join Date: Apr 2011 Location: bottomoftheCOFFEEpot Posts: 4,089 Hogwarts RPG Name: Eron Rutherford Seventh Year x4 x2	♣ Heejin here \| Did somebody say coffee & cakes? \| cat lover ♣ SPOILER!!: T____T Quote: Originally Posted by sweetpinkpixie The urge to take a step towards him, especially after he took another one away from her, was overwhelming. She wanted to just run to him, throw her arms around him, and cry into his chest while he held her. Just like they used to do. Just like he had done not a few weeks ago when she had happened to meet him in the aisle of whatever store that had been. She couldn't even remember what shop it had been. The only important thing was that he had been there. He had been there for her and now...now she couldn't be there for him or he for her. Kurumi gasped for air as the tears overtook her, different tears from the last ones he had seen falling down her face. Kurumi couldn't even begin to describe what all was in these tears. Sadness. Guilt. Depression. Anger. Frustration. Take your pick, because they were all there in some shape with each tear that ran down her pale features. Things only got worse when he began piecing together what she had just said. That there had been two kisses and only one of them was one she could remember. It didn't matter though, the fact that there had been more than one was what made Jonathan look at though he were about to fall over and this time Kurumi DID step forward, reaching out her hand towards him before stopping when he spoke. Shutting her eyes tight again, her eyes burning from the liquid fire in them, Kurumi opened her mouth to speak, but found her words were gone again and all she could do was nod. Nod to confirm that yes, there was another time. Another time where her loyalty had been tested and she hadn't remained true. And then the way his body changed after she had said just one word sent a cold shiver through her entire body and her hands went to her face to hide it as she cried even more fiercely. She hated this. Hated seeing Jonathan like this. Hated knowing that she was the cause of this. Hated realizing that he cared for her THAT much to be reacting like he was. Hated that she wasn't the girl he thought she was. Hated that she wasn't the girl he needed...or maybe even wanted. He shouldn't. Not after all this. Kurumi lowered her hands suddenly, eyes back on him, and her mouth hung open as she was temporarily stunned by the firm tone in his voice. "What was I supposed to do? Put all this in a letter? I had that happen to me...and it was awful...cowardly... I...I wanted to tell you sooner...in person" Like the day at the fountain. "...but....being near you again... I... I couldn't..." Her hands were on either side of her neck now, holding her head in place so that she wouldn't look away. She needed him to see the strange honest in her eyes. "And what charade? The one...the one where I love you?" Because that was no charade. That was real...and that was why this hurt so much. That is what made Kurumi feel sick to her stomach and like she was about to collapse. She needed to hold on to something, anything, but the only thing close to them was the tree he was leaning on...and she dare not get too close right now - even if she had taken a step or two closer earlier. And then...the words that she had been telling herself over and over again inside her head suddenly came out before she could stop herself. "You deserve someone better." Someone not like her. Someone who trusted him completely, because she hadn't. She had faltered when he had given her no reason to. Jonathan felt a bit cautious with everything right now. He observed her every move and even though he hates that he can't even do anything for now but just to stare at her like that. Somehow looking at her like that, he was reminded of what it was like before. Before this happened. He remembered every piece of memory they both had like it was photo. The time when they first confessed to each other at this very same place, the time when he played her the piano on Valentines' day, the time when his mother took her shopping, the time when she laughed how silly he looked like in his blonde hair, the time when they danced in their traditional costumes... It was a lot an for awhile, just for that second, his eyes went blurry. But his fingers immediately wiped it away. It was a reflex of him everytime he can sense that he is about to cry. He doesn't want to be seen this way. She nodded. Of course she did. Jonathan was ready enough for that which already made him feel uneasy even from before he asked her that question. He once again shifted his gaze on the scenery behind her. His thoughts just going around like wildfire. It's too much to handle even for him. His hands were a bit shaky but he can still manage it. "You mean to tell me that I have been gone for awhile and this happened?" now he already blunt about asking her questions. Jonathan was having a hard time trying to reel out answers from her and he doesn't go well with that. He may sound really rude right now but it was the only way to give him the right answers. What was done is already done, Jonathan was just surprised that she never said anything to him before. She even waited the whole summer and the whole train ride to be finish and now this happens? How would he obviously react to it? He understands that it has been so long since they last meet and she was hurting because of her mother's condition but was there really a need to postpone this issue too? That he couldn't understand. Jonathan right now just feels completely stupid about all of these. "I wasn't expecting you to write in a letter" he replied back as soon as she said it. He kicked the stone and looked at it as it slowly rolls on the side. "I was at least expecting you'd tell it to me sooner" he added. Sooner... she could have just said it to him when they met over the summer, right? It wouldn't even be hurtful that way. He locked his eyes over to her once more as he tried fixing his eyeglasses "Funny thing was..." he said not cracking up a smile "... I was expecting you to hex me for leaving you just like that and not even sending you all the letters you want..." he added, "and right now, hexing me would have been less painful" he said whimpering. Yes, hexing would have really been less painful than being cheated on. I love you??? He can no longer look at her the same way that she wanted him too. It was a bit harder to believe this time, considering that her kissing Lewis happened months before they both said it. He shook his head slowly, subconsciously. He wasn't even aware that he did it. You deserve someone better. Is it? Because right now he doesn't feel anything. He felt like he just suddenly felt numb that even if it suddenly snowed, he wouldn't even feel cold. He wiped that sweat on his forehead with his handkerchief, her words pierced on him like a needle. "W-what are you trying to say?" And he doesn't even want to know what she really is trying to say. __________________