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Erindipity · 10-03-2011, 12:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Steelsheen

His head started to shake, trying to figure out what he didnt do but should have "What do you want me to do Luv, please tell me and I'll do it. I'm sorry, I didnt know. I...." he was rambling, his sight clouded now by tears just ready to fall "What do you mean normal? What do you mean peaceful? This isnt normal or peaceful?" He was confused, he clearly thought it was all going so well, if this was what it was like to spend the rest of his life with her then he had made a good decision.

But hearing her speak, how she saw their relationship as it was has confused him beyond comprehension. So if this wasnt good then what was?

He closed his arms tighter around her midriff, as if holding her close to him will keep what he thinks is happening from actually taking place "Lexi, I know how some of my friends feel about you, how my family sees you, but when did any of those discourage me from carrying on with this so far? And yes I did think about proposing to you. It wasnt something on a whim-- I bought the ring at the same time I got you your birthday gift." he said as he reached out and caressed the side of her head, seeing the diamond earrings that matched the ring he gave her. "I never made it obvious to you because I wasnt sure myself. I was scared that what happened to my folks will happen to us. But after we fought at the library I KNEW the other option was far worse-- to go on without you. It was worse than dying." the welling have overflowed and was now streaming freely down his face. "Was that it? Me looking at other girls? I cant help it I admit that, thats my fault. But thats all I do, I just look, like pretty flowers when you walk by. I never do anything else beyond that trust me. But you-- you have my heart. Nobody else does. Thats why I will be with you. Always...." he voice trailed off now to a whisper ".... if you'll still have me."

Oh... no. What was she doing to him? Seriously. "I -- I don't know exactly. I just feel... I don't KNOW," she said miserably. She really had no idea how to put that to words that made sense. "Sal... you don't see what I go through as your significant other, love. So many people would rather you be with someone else... someone who isn't "evil and blonde" and the like. It's hard on me. You are oblivious to it because people don't treat me badly in front of you... but some of your dear sweet friends treat me like CRAP when you aren't around. It's hard to keep it all to myself. I have never wanted you to choose between them and me and I am not asking now. I am offering to step aside and let you enjoy your last term at school with other people that mean a lot to you," she said begrudgingly.

She instinctively wrapped her arms around him and held on tightly as he held her just as tight. "Sal I never have in the past, but there comes a point when no matter how strong someone is.. they break. Or it begins to cause self doubt. What if they can see this more clearly than we can?"

And then he started talking about waiting because he hadn't been SURE. DId that not seem odd to him? "Baby... is it supposed to be that hard? The figuring out bit that is," she asked in little more than a whisper. This was GUTTING her. It truly was. All of it... the entire conversation.

Looking at other women was like looking at pretty flowers. "What if -- what if I ogled other men in front of you? Would you like that? Would it make you angry? You have a hard time with my having male friends that I depend on. I am sorry I don't get along well with other girls..." she said as she choked back a sob.

..."I want you with all of my heart. I do, but what if we're making a mistake, Salander? Can you truly say you have no doubts in your mind that we will work. That we will spend the rest of eternity together til death do us part?" she asked as she too began to weep.

10-03-2011, 12:10 AM	#282 (permalink)
Erindipity DMT Mountain Troll Join Date: Jul 2009 Posts: 23,591 x8	Quote: Originally Posted by Steelsheen His head started to shake, trying to figure out what he didnt do but should have "What do you want me to do Luv, please tell me and I'll do it. I'm sorry, I didnt know. I...." he was rambling, his sight clouded now by tears just ready to fall "What do you mean normal? What do you mean peaceful? This isnt normal or peaceful?" He was confused, he clearly thought it was all going so well, if this was what it was like to spend the rest of his life with her then he had made a good decision. But hearing her speak, how she saw their relationship as it was has confused him beyond comprehension. So if this wasnt good then what was? He closed his arms tighter around her midriff, as if holding her close to him will keep what he thinks is happening from actually taking place "Lexi, I know how some of my friends feel about you, how my family sees you, but when did any of those discourage me from carrying on with this so far? And yes I did think about proposing to you. It wasnt something on a whim-- I bought the ring at the same time I got you your birthday gift." he said as he reached out and caressed the side of her head, seeing the diamond earrings that matched the ring he gave her. "I never made it obvious to you because I wasnt sure myself. I was scared that what happened to my folks will happen to us. But after we fought at the library I KNEW the other option was far worse-- to go on without you. It was worse than dying." the welling have overflowed and was now streaming freely down his face. "Was that it? Me looking at other girls? I cant help it I admit that, thats my fault. But thats all I do, I just look, like pretty flowers when you walk by. I never do anything else beyond that trust me. But you-- you have my heart. Nobody else does. Thats why I will be with you. Always...." he voice trailed off now to a whisper ".... if you'll still have me." Oh... no. What was she doing to him? Seriously. "I -- I don't know exactly. I just feel... I don't KNOW," she said miserably. She really had no idea how to put that to words that made sense. "Sal... you don't see what I go through as your significant other, love. So many people would rather you be with someone else... someone who isn't "evil and blonde" and the like. It's hard on me. You are oblivious to it because people don't treat me badly in front of you... but some of your dear sweet friends treat me like CRAP when you aren't around. It's hard to keep it all to myself. I have never wanted you to choose between them and me and I am not asking now. I am offering to step aside and let you enjoy your last term at school with other people that mean a lot to you," she said begrudgingly. She instinctively wrapped her arms around him and held on tightly as he held her just as tight. "Sal I never have in the past, but there comes a point when no matter how strong someone is.. they break. Or it begins to cause self doubt. What if they can see this more clearly than we can?" And then he started talking about waiting because he hadn't been SURE. DId that not seem odd to him? "Baby... is it supposed to be that hard? The figuring out bit that is," she asked in little more than a whisper. This was GUTTING her. It truly was. All of it... the entire conversation. Looking at other women was like looking at pretty flowers. "What if -- what if I ogled other men in front of you? Would you like that? Would it make you angry? You have a hard time with my having male friends that I depend on. I am sorry I don't get along well with other girls..." she said as she choked back a sob. ..."I want you with all of my heart. I do, but what if we're making a mistake, Salander? Can you truly say you have no doubts in your mind that we will work. That we will spend the rest of eternity together til death do us part?" she asked as she too began to weep.