Heather...

Congratulations on the completion of your first fan fiction! I can remember spying it the first week it was posted and thinking, I really should read that story... It looks promising. Well, you more than lived up to my high expectations!

Although you chose to write about Harry's fourth year, which in my opinion was a very trying and challenging thing to do, you were able to add a lot of depth, fill-in alot of missing spaces, and ingratiate Ella into the tight threesome, making them an even tighter quartet. You were also able to get rid of the access cluster of JK's story. A job very well done, I must say!

I truly enjoyed the Ella story lines. The fact that Snape is Ella's father is the plot, of your fan fiction, that most captivates me. You bring out a side of Snape that intrigues me and brings love to my heart. Snape really is human, and althought he has to constantly mask his feelings, the love for his daughter is truly apparent to your readers.

I would also like to give you props for the ending 'Moody' story line. Although you mention it almost in passing, the fact that Moody knew about Ron winning the Gryffindor Duelling Challenge was pure inspiration. You have a great mind for details and writing.

I'm sorry I didn't comment during your last chapters, but you should know that I read and enjoyed each and every one of them.

Again, Congratulations on this, your first fan fiction. I look forward to reading your next one... about Ella's 5th year at Hogwarts??? In fact, I plan to go there now!

Great work,
Katie