New Professors; Help or Hindrance?
As I'm sure you all know, we have three Ministry-appointed professors this year. As with everyone that Hogwarts has been sent from the Ministry, they're all shifty and wierd. So I've decided to give you the 411 on each of them, at least as much as we know so far.
There's the quote-unquote Professor of Transfiguration. But wait -- As you lovely students should recall, Mister Shaw does not approve of the title of Professor, or of Mister, for that matter. Not sir, not mister, not professor, nothing. Just Shaw. As if that's not crazy enough, I have yet to mention the CHAINSAW, the aligator skin cloak (A BOLD fashion statement that this Goddess personally approves of), the cup that he uses for a chew toy, or the blaring rock music. Let's just cover the basics.
So. A CHAINSAW. A chainsaw that Shaw seems to have taken a liking to more than any person he's ever met. Instead of doing the SANE thing, and simply writing his name on the board, this quote-unquote professor decided to tell his students his name by CARVING IT into the board with the muggle device. He then proceeded to hand off this dangerous device to a student. As for the cup, this gossip girl finds it a little disturbing, nasty, and "quirky" that Shaw's habits involve biting, chewing, and spitting, let alone on a CUP. I've seen birds do it, I've seen goats and sheep do it, dogs, weasels, mice, yes. People? Mortals? This is a first. I say Shaw isn't playing with a full set of gobstones, if you catch my drift.
The second Professor i'd like to touch on is our visitor from Norway, Tristan Christiansen. Although his english is understandably sub-par, he seems to know what he's doing. However, as those of you who attened the first lesson will recall, he recieved a rather mysterious letter, then suddenly ended the lesson and left. Where he left to has remained to be seen, but what is even stranger is that Professor Christansen has remained quite... ordinary. Apart from changing his student's clothes into viking garb as a teaching tool, he is probably the most uncharacteristic, at least so far, of all the Professors. Isn't that odd? Perhaps Mister Norway thinks that he can fly under the radar. Unfortunately, he has just probably attracted the most attention of the Gods.
And we can probably expect an appearance from Lord Berty Borr sometime soon. Yes, in case you live under a rock, our new DADA teacher is Lord Borr, who has been employed at Hogwarts previously, and is the new appointed Minister of Magic. Wouldn't one think that the Minister for Magic would have better things to do than to teach young wizards how to defend themselves? Especially since the self-proclaimed Lord is such a BUSY and IMPORTANT man. BUT this has not stopped Borr from posting an assignment. Just recently, the Prfoessor gave instruction for all students to "get in shape". If one looks at some of the more strenuous things on the list, like running 8 kilometers, 50 front rolls, and swimming in the lake (all of which should be done every DAY), one might think Lord Borr is trying to train the students for something much more than the Dark Arts. Methinks the Ministry has decided to poke it's long, thin nose into the business of Hogwarts one too many times. Remember last year when we had a Head of Security appointed by the Ministry? Isn't Hogwarts suppossed to be the safest place in Britain? (Right next to Gringotts, of course) If I were you, I'd be careful around the new professors. Keep your eyes and ears open, and watch your mouths. It's OUR job to blab, it's YOUR job to tell us what you know.
- Ekho