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Mordanyes · 04-22-2011, 03:50 AM

Interesting start, I'd like to read more!

A tip though, when you change POV's, mark it out by saying whose POV it's changing too.

04-22-2011, 03:50 AM	#2 (permalink)
Mordanyes Plimpy Join Date: Aug 2010 Location: The TARDIS Posts: 15,339 Hogwarts RPG Name: Cassidy Euston x1	don't blink \| you will be upgraded \| silence will fall \| exterminate Interesting start, I'd like to read more! A tip though, when you change POV's, mark it out by saying whose POV it's changing too. __________________