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Tazenhani · 01-07-2011, 10:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pinky

She listened to every word he said and kept her eyes on her feet as she picked at the loose thread on the shoe string. If she pulled it it would mess up the whole thing. Kind of like this conversation was going to change everything between them. Oh well, it was time to let it go. When he stopped talking she looked up with a furrowed brow. "All I really have to say is this: I never discarded you, but I am sorry that you saw it that way. I didn't want to hurt you by dragging you through my inner turmoil anymore than I already had. I really thought that once I got somewhat straightened out that I would come back and you would be there for me... I suppose it was both selfish and foolish to expect that. I don't have fight left in me like that anymore, Sabel. I just don't. Too much has changed and too things will only continue to roll downhill," she said as she cut her eyes to look at him.

Oh hell. Were those tears in his eyes? Crap. "And there is plenty wrong with me, Sabel. You are simply too kind to point that out. As it were, Ivan relishes ALL of my imperfections. More than the beauty I think. He really is great and I don't want to lose him, but I had to figure this out first. I think you are the thing that was holding me back... my idiotic hope that you would come to your senses," she said with a hint of bitterness to her voice.

Sighing once more she stood up in one fluid motion. "I think you're wrong, you know. I think the reason we fight is you somewhat resent me for hurting you and I was mad that you wouldn't see what you had in front of you," she added as she dusted off the back of her jeans. "I think that covers all of that, really. Moving on- I went to have a meeting with Mr. Gevrik," she said in a monotone voice. Just let it go, Sabel. She was letting it go. It was GONE.

He could feel his jaw tightening with each word she said. It was taking every bit of him not to snap at her and to retain his anger, but she was just plucking at all the wrong points. This time, he didn't move when she got up, he didn't even look up. And yes, those tears in his eyes were honest and true, but once again, so many things seemed to be Lexi-focussed. "It's okay Lexi, just get up and walk away like you always do when you think or deem the conversation is over. Don't mind whatever else others have to say in return. Maybe that's why you considered me never being there for you, because you never stopped to listen to me fully. Maybe. I might be completely wrong here, but do not insinuate that I have never been there for you or that I judge you." Slowly, he pushed himself to his feet, his eyes coming level with hers. Wherever this anger had come from, he didn't like it and it reminded him of the fights they had last term. That and she wasn't walking away, not yet, but it had sure seemed like she was going to.

Drawing a hand back through his hair, he let out a slow, uneven breath to reign himself back in. Apparently he still felt there were a lot of unresolved issues between them, or maybe just a lot of pet peeves that annoyed him real fast, real quick. Though really, she needed to learn how to hold a conversation rather than simply ending it when she thought the time was right. Hopefully she learned that before her and Ivan had to have a talk. But she wanted to drop it, fine, he would drop it. "What did Ikenna say?"

01-07-2011, 10:28 AM	#28 (permalink)
Tazenhani DMLE & DoM Doxy Join Date: Oct 2009 Posts: 6,150 Hogwarts RPG Name: Amur Neverwinter Fourth Year	~ Rise and Rise Again, Until Lambs become Lions ~ Quote: Originally Posted by Pinky She listened to every word he said and kept her eyes on her feet as she picked at the loose thread on the shoe string. If she pulled it it would mess up the whole thing. Kind of like this conversation was going to change everything between them. Oh well, it was time to let it go. When he stopped talking she looked up with a furrowed brow. "All I really have to say is this: I never discarded you, but I am sorry that you saw it that way. I didn't want to hurt you by dragging you through my inner turmoil anymore than I already had. I really thought that once I got somewhat straightened out that I would come back and you would be there for me... I suppose it was both selfish and foolish to expect that. I don't have fight left in me like that anymore, Sabel. I just don't. Too much has changed and too things will only continue to roll downhill," she said as she cut her eyes to look at him. Oh hell. Were those tears in his eyes? Crap. "And there is plenty wrong with me, Sabel. You are simply too kind to point that out. As it were, Ivan relishes ALL of my imperfections. More than the beauty I think. He really is great and I don't want to lose him, but I had to figure this out first. I think you are the thing that was holding me back... my idiotic hope that you would come to your senses," she said with a hint of bitterness to her voice. Sighing once more she stood up in one fluid motion. "I think you're wrong, you know. I think the reason we fight is you somewhat resent me for hurting you and I was mad that you wouldn't see what you had in front of you," she added as she dusted off the back of her jeans. "I think that covers all of that, really. Moving on- I went to have a meeting with Mr. Gevrik," she said in a monotone voice. Just let it go, Sabel. She was letting it go. It was GONE. He could feel his jaw tightening with each word she said. It was taking every bit of him not to snap at her and to retain his anger, but she was just plucking at all the wrong points. This time, he didn't move when she got up, he didn't even look up. And yes, those tears in his eyes were honest and true, but once again, so many things seemed to be Lexi-focussed. "It's okay Lexi, just get up and walk away like you always do when you think or deem the conversation is over. Don't mind whatever else others have to say in return. Maybe that's why you considered me never being there for you, because you never stopped to listen to me fully. Maybe. I might be completely wrong here, but do not insinuate that I have never been there for you or that I judge you." Slowly, he pushed himself to his feet, his eyes coming level with hers. Wherever this anger had come from, he didn't like it and it reminded him of the fights they had last term. That and she wasn't walking away, not yet, but it had sure seemed like she was going to. Drawing a hand back through his hair, he let out a slow, uneven breath to reign himself back in. Apparently he still felt there were a lot of unresolved issues between them, or maybe just a lot of pet peeves that annoyed him real fast, real quick. Though really, she needed to learn how to hold a conversation rather than simply ending it when she thought the time was right. Hopefully she learned that before her and Ivan had to have a talk. But she wanted to drop it, fine, he would drop it. "What did Ikenna say?" __________________ I've got a fire for a heart._________________________________________________ I'm not scared of the dark._________________________________________ _______________________________________You've never seen it look so easy.