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Term 19: May - August 2008 Term Nineteen: No Hogwarts?!?!?!

 
 
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Old 06-17-2008, 02:41 PM
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Default Lord Borr's First Lesson

Lord Borr was dressed in his usual brown and plaid and pants, his flawless ironed button up shirt with two thick suspenders keeping his pants up. He looked good and there weren't any questions or doubts about it. He strode into his classroom, a dark room of no nonsense: just rows of desks.

On each desk were a pair of nail clippers, a bowl of warm water, and a hand towel. Lord Borr's door was open as he approached his chalk board and wrote the word:

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CLEANLINESS


He dusted his hands off on his pants, leaving big white chalky thumb prints on them and then sat down heavily into a chair he'd pulled around in front of desk.
Old 06-18-2008, 06:43 PM   #176 (permalink)
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Maddox suddenly felt very chipper and happy. Then all of a suddent he really really needed to fart really badly. He hiked his leg up and let 'er rip. all he could do was laugh.
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Old 06-18-2008, 06:44 PM   #177 (permalink)
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Flynn cringed and opened one eye when he heard Borr pronounce his name. He looked around the room and saw most of the people were enjoying the cookies and Borr had said he too could have one. He stood up, water dripping from his butt, and held out the hand with a prune-like thumb, accepting one of the gorgeous smelling cookies. He quickly popped it into his mouth before returning to his floor and continued to suck his thumb.
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Old 06-18-2008, 06:44 PM   #178 (permalink)

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EEP! The cookie really was the most delicious ever! Lord Borr was right! Hehe. As his bottom continued to get warmed up by the water it was sat in, Clifford continued nibbling at it's edges, savouring the taste. It was like Heaven!

Still snorting goofily a rather loud noise erupted from his backside, causing a mountainous amount of bubbles to explode in the bowl of water. "Oops. Pardon me for being so rude, it was not me it was my food." He chimed brightly, his shoulders shaking with laughter. The accidental outburst of gas only caused him to snort louder.
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Old 06-18-2008, 06:48 PM   #179 (permalink)
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He was right but he wasn`t going to fart he started muttering numerus incantations hoping that he wouldn`t fart like he wanted to. He now knew why Will and Kingston hadn`t had any.
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Old 06-18-2008, 06:48 PM   #180 (permalink)
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Kingston's eyes widened once the noises began. Turning to face Will with a horrified look, he took out his wand and pointed it at the boy. Quickly, he muttered an enchantment that would block the smell from him. After being done, he did the same to himself.

"We're doomed," he muttered under his breath, looking at the boys in class.
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Old 06-18-2008, 06:50 PM   #181 (permalink)
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SQUEEEEEEEEEL. That was the sound of a fart, pushing it's way out of Flynn. He tried desperately to clench and hold it in, but he just couldn't! He realised it was happening to others. Oh lordy! What was he going to do. It wasn't so bad for him since he no longer had no bowl of water, but the SMELL! It was awful! He wanted to flee, flee so badly.
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Old 06-18-2008, 06:51 PM   #182 (permalink)
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Will began giggling harder, falling over on his side- his bowl stuck to his rump so luckily Lord Borr couldn't accuse him of being out of his bowl! He gasped for air, his face turning red with silent laughter as Kingston cast some sort of charm on him - possibly to block the smell as nothing seemed to have a scent or odor now. He nodded, wiping tears from his eyes as he righted himself. "thank y-yoooooou.... HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAAA!" he gasped as a fresh spate of giggles was upon him thanks to Cliffie's little rhyme. Oh, the joys of pootin' pastries. Maybe Miss Melita used to bake for Weasley's Wizarding Wheezes...
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Old 06-18-2008, 06:57 PM   #183 (permalink)

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The sounds of Will's laughter was making it all the harder for him to stop laughing, and Clifford clutched at his aching stomach. He clutched perhaps a liiiiittle too hard however, as the movement seemed to push even more gas out, a long, loud raspberry sound echoing it's way through the classroom and a fresh explosion of bubbles splashing up and dampening his shirt.

Oh no. Now he was going to have to sit in this bowl forever! That one surely blew a hole in the seat of his trousers.
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Old 06-18-2008, 07:01 PM   #184 (permalink)
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Barry smilled he was for some unknown reason happy he turned to Will "Do you know an antidote I can barly stop my self from passing wind please tell me what about you Kingston" he asked the two only uneffected boys. Barry put the cookie just behind him in his hand and slowly burnt the rest of it and cleaned the mess left over.Then he returned to muttering radom charms,
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Old 06-18-2008, 07:06 PM   #185 (permalink)
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Cliff's gas attack caused the water to leap from his bowl like a fountain... Which Will found even more hysterical. He giggled harder. "Surely... this IS... the finest m--m-mmoment... in our academ-dem-demic careers!" he laughed to Kingston and Clifford, glancing around the room at all the boys sitting in bowls noshing cookies and letting off, in a big group ...Why look, it's Lord Borr's Bum-Belch Band! Together again for the first time, live in concert! Give 'em a hand! Someone blasted off in the room again, causing Will to giggle harder. That works, too.... He shook a head apologetically at Barry-- "No...no... antidote that I know of. Sorry, chap..."
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Old 06-18-2008, 07:07 PM   #186 (permalink)
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Antwone was a bit offended but was hungry all the same. We're being treated like two year olds. After cleaning his nails and trimming them to a proper size (for once he thought they looked passable), he got up to get one of the cookies and began eating into one of them. Perhaps it was a bad batch because the cookie he had just bitten into was rock solid.
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Old 06-18-2008, 07:09 PM   #187 (permalink)
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Barry muttered silento so no one heard him farting and it was as if he never had.
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Old 06-18-2008, 07:16 PM   #188 (permalink)
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Will looked at Kingston, only imagining the tragically methane smell in the air. "I... I think-- I... I owe you ... you may have saved my life..." he gasped in whispers to Kingston between giggles, wiping the tears from his eyes. "Just... nobody light a fire, or we're all dooooooomed."
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Old 06-18-2008, 07:23 PM   #189 (permalink)
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Kingston gave a nod to the younger boy and watched as the boys kept farting and farting. Fart after fart, they were getting worse, he noticed. Louder and probably smellier. With a sigh, he leaned onto his desk and sadly shook his head.

"Sir," he called out, raking his hair. "May I have a word with you after class?"
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Old 06-18-2008, 07:24 PM   #190 (permalink)
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Kingston gave a nod to the younger boy and watched as the boys kept farting and farting. Fart after fart, they were getting worse, he noticed. Louder and probably smellier. With a sigh, he leaned onto his desk and sadly shook his head.

"Sir," he called out, raking his hair. "May I have a word with you after class?"
Will raised an eyebrow. "What are you up to now?" he whispered furtively.
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Old 06-18-2008, 07:26 PM   #191 (permalink)
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Barry finally stopped before the others because he had eaten lass and he wasn`t so happy "Finally its over" he said.
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Old 06-18-2008, 07:29 PM   #192 (permalink)
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Will raised an eyebrow. "What are you up to now?" he whispered furtively.

Kingston merely smirked at the boy's question. "You'll see," he whispered back, leaning away from the desk to walk up to Borr.

As soon as he reached the man's side, he gave a slight cough. "I would like to speak to you after class, my lord. The topic is of importance." He whispered so that only Borr would hear him. "If you don't mind that is, my lord."
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Old 06-18-2008, 07:32 PM   #193 (permalink)

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“Over?” Clifford raised an eyebrow at Barry. According to his insides, it was faaaar from over. Feeling the farty feeling again, he raised a leg and let a loud one rip. He was loud and proud.

“Dude, it’s not over until the fat bloke farts.” He gigglesnorted, looking in the direction of Lord Ogre.
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Old 06-18-2008, 07:35 PM   #194 (permalink)
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"For me it is I stopped eating because they had a strange taste I burned the cookie" said Barry
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Old 06-18-2008, 07:36 PM   #195 (permalink)
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WHAT?

Cale mouth fell open in shock. This was absolutely absurd! His nails were fine! What was the point of this lesson, that all men had dirty fingernails and if they didn't admit it, they were going to be punished? This was a load of rubbish! Groaning, he sat down in the bowl. This had to be the most embarrassing thing he had ever done in his whole life. Absolutely HORRIBLE!

He looked at Shel and rolled his eyes. This whole class was a joke. He was never attending Borr's class again. Never. Forget trying to get on his good side, too. Who cared if the Ministry liked Cale Newell or not? Certainly not him. If he kept up what he was doing--which was, biting his tongue and just doing what they told him to--he would be fine.
Shel caught his friend's look, and shrugged in response. "Do it," he mouthed. "It's sort of good."

NOT. What the heck was he saying?
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Lord Borr was growing very tired of these disobedient fools. "Look at Kingston! Look at Sheldon! Barry and Liam! LOOK AT THEM! They're doing it, they're not tooo good, and I commend them. THEY are LEARNING. Bravo!"


"I would like for everyone to remain seated and use the provided nail clippers to trim your nails, please. Let's not make today a TOTAL waste!"
Oh no. Not his name in there. Shel was not even sure if he ought to be pleased. But, seeing how Slytherin was already twenty five points behind, he decided not to say that out loud.

"Thank you, sir," he said politely. "It's an honour, learning from you."

What a lie. What a BIG, FAT lie.

He picked up a nail clipper, trimming one of his nails. The rest were already trimmed, you see. He couldn't help wondering why he had forgotten trimming the left thumb. Odd. Shel placed the clipper back in position after he was done, wondering where else this class could go.

Nowhere crazier, right?

WRONG.

The cookies. Oh yes, the cookies. He rose, taking one. Go along with the flow, yes, that was it. They smelled of soap to him, for some reason. All the same, he took a bite.

Argghh.

"They're wonderful, sir," he managed to choke. He hoped Lord Borr didn't notice he was choking. "You truly have the best choice."

He was never coming back to this class. Period.

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Old 06-18-2008, 07:36 PM   #196 (permalink)
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Will walked up to Borr. "Actually, your eminence, I'd like a word with you after class as well, if it pleases you. It's also quite important." He glanced at Kingston, wondering what he was up to.
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Old 06-18-2008, 07:40 PM   #197 (permalink)
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Barry said "Shell don`t" but it was to late.
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Old 06-18-2008, 07:42 PM   #198 (permalink)
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Kingston shot a glare to Will. What was he doing?! Was he so insistent on know what he was going to tell Borr? Surely, the blonde could have a few moments with the man alone. With a cough, he looked back at Borr and grinned.

"I wouldn't mind you having Billium first, Sir. I'd prefer talking to you alone." He said, turning to Will on the last word as he emphasized on it.
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Old 06-18-2008, 07:46 PM   #199 (permalink)
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Kingston shot a glare to Will. What was he doing?! Was he so insistent on know what he was going to tell Borr? Surely, the blonde could have a few moments with the man alone. With a cough, he looked back at Borr and grinned.

"I wouldn't mind you having Billium first, Sir. I'd prefer talking to you alone." He said, turning to Will on the last word as he emphasized on it.
Will smiled at Kingston. "That's generous of you, and I'd be open to that as long as I, too, could have a private audience with your lordship." He bowed to Lord Borr.
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Old 06-18-2008, 07:50 PM   #200 (permalink)
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He couldn't help but smile back at the boy. Cheeky. "By all means, you go first Will. I shall wait once your lordship is finished with Dear Will here." Kingston then pulled away from the men wanting to go back to his seat. With a bow to both man and boy, he walked back to his desk and sat down, trying his best not send glares to the younger boy.
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