SnitchSeeker.com - SSRPG: The Personal Thoughts of Azura Snow

Disclaimer: The universe in which I am writing my story, and all cannon characters are strictly the creation of J.K. Rowling. Azura Snow is my own creation.

The Personal Thoughts of Azura Snow.

November 12th, 2091
I'm back!

I'm writing this entry from my very own bed in my dorm in the Ravenclaw tower. No more Illvermorny or homesickness, I'm finally back home. Back to Hogwarts, my friends, my boyfriend and my life.

Yet, as I walk these halls and climb the tons of stairs that seem to be everywhere (why, why why can't they invent some magical teleporter? Whyyyyy?) I can't help but feel like something is off. I'm not the same person that left here so many months ago with term ended. I have faced a lot, and faced it alone.

Sure things in my family have turned for the better, my mom is almost fully better! And my step-dad is back. I have missed him so much, and I didn't let go of him for an hour when he walked into the hospital room to see my mom. I felt like I cried for days as we all held each other, a family together again! Healing for the first time in several years.

When we had finally all calmed down, I begged to come back here to Hogwarts.. back home. And they let me.

But the things I went through, the fear, the loneliness, dealing with people who were angry at me for leaving. And whom I'm angry at as well.

When I first told Chris I was leaving to go to America cause my mom was sick, his first words were.."Why can't things be normal between us for once?" Normal? So he can ignore me for months due to studying, but when I have a family emergency he complains? I'm still mad at that. And then he whines about flunking school to stay behind with me? Making me feel guilty? I don't think it's love he's feeling, or if it is.. it's not the kind I want. I don't think I can go back to being his loving girlfriend anymore. Not after these past few months. My feelings have changed.. They have since those words left his mouth.. and I didn't get the support I need.. I just got guilt..

Especially after September and Cornelius..

I do not know what is going to happen in the upcoming year, but I know I'm changing. I feel I'm becoming more me.. the me that I should have been.. or the me that I need to be.

Our experiences shape us.. and I'm being shaped..

I'm getting tired, all those stairs are wearing me out, not to mention I tripped up them and now my knee is stinging..

Guess I really am back!