Disclaimer: Tegz and Ern are writing these drabbles in the spirit of fun and silliness. They are NOT specifically writing about anyone's character on purpose, nor are they making fun of anyone on SS. They ARE, however, exploring common Mary Sue-isms and there may be aspects that seem familiar to you. They fully acknowledge that most people have Mary Sue aspects to their characters and plan to make fun of their own characters in the process.

What is a Mary Sue? Try here or here.

1. Herbology 2. Muggle Studies 3. Transfiguration 4. Ancient Runes 5. Astronomy 6. Divination 7. Care of Magical Creatures 8. Potions 9. Defense Against the Dark Arts 10. Arithmancy 11. History of Magic 12. Charms 13. Quidditch 14. Hogwarts, A History 15. Room 16. Dragonhide gloves 17. Cauldron 18. Whomping Willow 19. Wand 20. Hogsmeade 21. Veela 22. Kneazle 23. Telescope 24. House elf 25. Sorting Hat 26. Quill 27. Owl 28. Timeturner 29. Pensieve 30. Feast 31. Dress robes 32. Common room 33. Classroom 34. Parseltongue 35. Pureblood 36. Muggle 37. Animagus 38. Patronus 39. Duel 40. Spell 41. Thestrals 42. Portraits 43. Headmaster 44. Ford Anglia 45. torch 46. Dungeon47. Portkey 48. Leprechaun 49. Yule Ball 50. Boggart 51. act 52. bore 53. Chase 54. Dare 55. Egg on 56. Fight 57. Gape 58. Hoot 59. Ignore 60. Joke 61. Kiss 62. Lope 63. Mooch 64. Nap 65. Ooze 66. Pace 67. Quell 68. Roar 69. Slap 70. teem 71. Untie 72. Vex 73. Warn 74. x-tinguish 75. Yodel 76. Zap 77. Cheerful 78. author's choice 79. author's choice 80. author's choice 81. Depression 82. Careful 83. Fearful 84. Angry 85. Snappish 86. Daring 87. Plaid 88. sweet tooth 89. Past 90. present 91. Future 92. Chocolate 93. Chicken 94. Allergic 95. Snowball 96. Socks 97. Dictionary 98. Pajamas 99. Newspaper 100. Homework


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36/Muggle

It wasn’t that Ambrosia hated Muggles.

She loved Muggles. They were so precious with their little inventions and their fantastic fashion designers who didn’t quite make up for not having magic but supplemented it nicely.

In fact, Ambrosia loved them so much she occasionally visited Muggle orphanages just to bring them baby bunnies and to scout for potential lurking Dark Lords. None found yet, but Ambrosia expected to love the Dark right out of one of those suckers someday. Still looking.

It wasn’t that she hated Muggles. It was just that Muggle boys were so frightfully boring compared to Wizards.

44/Ford Anglia

Violetta L’vonne Anglia wafted into the common room like a bad smell except that she smelled like violets and that’s how she got her name because her Veela mother farted violets when she was born. All but one boy looked up because it was the exact same smell from the special dreams they had about her.

Her porcelain skin glowed translucently in the light and her perfect hair cascaded over her shoulder like a waterfall of black lava.

“ACHOOOO!”

A sneeze broke the reverential silence.

It was the one boy that was unaffected by her Veela smells.
Her brother, Ford.

71/Untie

Portia tugged loose the ribbon from her hair, letting it cascade down her back like a glittering waterfall. She had beautiful hair, of course, blond so pale it was almost silver. Some would even say it sparkled, as if she were brushed by faerie dust on a daily basis. Her hair was long enough to wear in any style possible.

She also had a hairbrush, pink with her initials spelled out in tiny jewels on the handle. With every loving stroke through her locks, the hairbrush sparkled.

What she didn’t have was a plot. Because she’d run out of words.

75/Yodel

Summer walked into the room, her hair floated around her head like a halo and she looked perfect in her blue jeans and purple converses that had little sequins on them. She took out her guitar and started to play her favourite song by the band Paramore. She knew all their songs even though she was a pureblood and a Malfoy and it had been over half a century since they were popular. She started to sing and her voice was a pure and sweet sound.

Then she started to yodel. It was the most seductive sound in the world.

84/Angry

Ravyn Darklocke had the hardest life ever of all time. She was so extremely emo with her ebony black hair and ripped tights, plus she had pink highlights, which everyone knows is the second most emoest color. You could just look at Ravyn and know that life was hard for the beautiful and yet angry girl.

Her problem was that she was in love with Harry Potter, but he wasn’t dark enough for her. She asked and she asked, but he refused to wear black eyeliner. And his jeans weren’t skinny at all.

Clearly it was not meant to be.

25/Sorting Hat
Scarlette Lily Snape-Malfoy was ready to be sorted.

“I’m perfect.” She told the hat.

“Not brave.”

“But still perfect!”
“Not Loyal.”

“Perfect.”

“Not cunning.”
“Per…”

“Dumb as a brick.”
“…fect!”

“You’ll find your home in…. SPARKLYPOO!”
“Wait, what?”

“The fifth house.” The hat explained. “For perfect people who have no redeeming features aside from obvious perfection.” The hat gestured with its tip at a table which hovered above all other tables, bathed in golden light and filled with her new housemates.

They were all completely and utterly perfect, thereby rendering Scarlette something she’d never been in her whole life.
Unremarkable.

credit and inspiration to Pirate Monkey... and to Renee because I loves her

1/Herbology

Ron leaned over the potted mandrakes in the middle of an Herbology lesson to speak to a petite girl with an auburn plait down her back. “Pardon me, Miss…”

“Stevie Manchester. Stevie,” the excrutiatingly lovely girl dimpled at him, a crinkle creasing the adorable freckles on her snub nose.

“Stevie,” Ron repeated. His eyebrows slid up into his hairline.

The girl’s laughter sounded like tinkling rain sliding off a rainbow. Obviously, she enjoyed his expression. “I have a boy’s name to juxtapose how wonderously feminine I am. It’s very hip right now.”

Ron grunted. “Can you pass me the trowel?”

49/Yule Ball
Her dress was a clash of perfection. Like a big puffy meringue, or maybe a soufflé, Jacynta Raven D’eth barely touched the floor as she floated into the Yule Ball. She invaded the senses of every male and smiled angelically as she passed them by. From behind, her long dark hair and matching black shoes made her look like an exclamation point of awesome. Her dress was gooey and pink like a marshmallow floating in a hot chocolate.

She was like a dream.

But she was also really dark and totally wished that the band would play some thrash metal.



for Ama

6/Divination

The air in the Divination tower was particularly pungent with incense, but the normal murmur of student voices was completely overwhelmed by the voice of a girl perched on a poof in the middle of the room. She had apparently taken over teaching from the befuddled professor, who couldn’t hope to compete with a REAL LIVE SEER.

“HUMMMM. HUMMM,” Scylla Trelawney meditated, her brilliant emerald eyes closed in deep contemplation. “I see… a beautiful girl with green eyes. I see broom closets. I see… pancakes for breakfast tomorrow.”

“Great,” Harry mumbled, sliding down into his seat.

“Wait! I see babies!”



For Colley-babe!

95/Snowball

Scorpia Luna Rose Lovegood-Black was the best Quidditch Player in the History of Hogwarts. She was the Slytherin seeker of course, even though she was also supremely strong and once busted a bludger with her face.

Today they were having an airborne snowball fight and she was flying faster than anyone else and still managing to hold 15 snowballs at once. She was soooo good she knocked out every single Quidditch Player and gave each of them such severe brain freeze that not one of them could play in the match the next day.

Slytherin won the cup by default.


For Kay

33/Classroom

“Something to share with the class, Potter?” Snape drawled from the front of his classroom. The other students froze, their eyes the only things moving as they darted back and forth between Snape and Harry.

“Snapey, I think it’s totally unfair that you pick on Harry like that,” Pearlescent twisted a curl around her finger.

The man stared at her.

“I think this might be a good time for you two to hug it out,” she demonstrated by giving herself a big hug. She was just SO good at communicating with professors. They were like… totally her besties for reals.


For Nee, who likes BOUNDARIES.

87/Plaid
You know you’re hot when you manage to make lurid orange plaid look good. You know you make it look good when everyone gasps and looks away because you’re clearly so hot that it hurts for them to look at you for too long.

Clearly.

You know you’re the prettiest girl at Hogwarts, a total Gryffindor princess, when your Weasley hair, which occasionally turns pink or purple depending on your mood, still doesn’t clash with the red and gold of your uniform.

You are Lunermione Malfoy; you know you’re practically a work of art.

And everyone else knows it too.

For Daffy.

28/Timeturner

“Can I borrow a quill?”

Contessa turned in her seat, offering her sparkle-quill to the boy, before turning back to her work. Every eye in the room followed her movements, and several of the boys panted slightly at her sheer hotness.

“You’re… Tom Riddle,” Harry whispered, and the dark-haired boy nodded.

“I am.”

“What are you doing in Charms?”

“I’ve fallen madly in love with Contessa and traveled through time to be with her. She’s the only girl beautiful enough to melt my Dark heart. She’s saved the world. What an amazing girl.”

“Yeah,” Neville sighed.

“Can I borrow parchment?”

68/Roar

Addysyn Lightsun was in her dressing room about to go on stage for her big show as an international superstar-pop-princess-diva-punk-rocker. In the Muggle world she had two albums full of platinum hits that she had written and recorded herself because she wasn’t just an amazing singer, she could play every instrument.

She went on the stage and heard the roar of the crowd. She also happened to be a witch and really good at magic too. She could cast any spell the first time she tried.

Also she was delusional, but she couldn’t spell that word so it didn’t count.




Inspired by... mary sues every where of course.

21/Veela

The new girl floated into the Great Hall as if her feet weren’t even touching the floor. Or maybe they weren’t. It was hard to tell when the rest of her was so magnificent.

“Who. Is. That?”

“Exchange student. From France.”

“Oooooooh. Shiny.”

Whispered comments drifted to the girl’s dainty ears, and her smile said she knew exactly what they were thinking.

She was fabulous.

Her name was Marie Suzette, and as her silvery hair shimmered in the candlelight, it took on a faintly goldbronzebluegreenpinktealmagenta hue. Half veela, two-thirds werewolf, one-third metamorphmagus, two-tenths sparkly vampire and one hundred percent perfection.

46/ Dungeon
She didn’t often go down to the dungeon by choice, except for potions class of course. But today, Angelica Jewel Silver had business with a Slytherin. She was a Gryffindor of course and best friends with the golden trio. Ron and Harry were both in love with her, but she would never ruin her friendship with her best friend Hermione. Besides, Angelica had met a Slytherin boy. She was so beautiful but her heart of gold helped her see past appearances, right to his soul.

And that was why she was in the dungeon.

To meet her date.

Gregory Goyle.

19/Wand

The girl twirled in the middle of the room and multicolored glitter drifted from the tip of her wand, coating everyone liberally. Several of the smaller first years were already buried, squirming tufts of hair all that was visible. The older students tried to stop her, but the glitter stuck to their tongue and made them choke.

“Isn’t it beautiful?” Ebola stopped, clasping her wand under her chin and giving everyone a hug with her eyeballs. HUUUUUUUUUUUG. “It’s the most bestest wand ever. Crystallized star dust with unicorn tears as a core. And of course… my own hair.” Of course.

81/ Depression

Herjenmie Cullen started the joke, but the whole world cried anyway. It was an amazing joke, with the best punch line ever, showcasing her amazing sense of humour, even in the midst of the most depressing fairy tale ever.

Everyone knew that she was tragically depressed. It was so hard choosing between a werewolf, a vampire and a Harry Potter when they all loved you more than anything or anyone else in existence. She was so brave. The bravest Slytherin half-Veela there ever was.

It was just tragic that she was doomed to a life of eternal and exquisite angst.


For Touz, the unintentional namer, and Jeremie, the unintentional name inspiration.

24/House elf

“I know what we must do!” Eowymione cried out in the midst of battle. She thrust her wand into her luxurious brown hair and threw her arms around the nearest tree.

“What is this madness?” Ron whispered to Harry.

“Come, come! We must embrace our nature mother and become one with the trees,” the girl whispered, nuzzling her pointed ear against the trunk and narrowly avoiding a stunning spell to the head. “My mother was an elf, and I am in tune with the nature mother.”

“Nasty,” Ron turned back to fighting. He was, of course, thinking about house elves.



Dedicated to the adorable RPers who used to try to mix LotR canon with HP. ADORABLE.

43/ Headmaster

Celandine blinked at the Headmaster as he explained to her why he not only insisted she keep her badge, but that he’d very much like her to be Head Girl this term. She twisted a golden curl about her finger and nodded at each and every point he made.

Yes, she was very smart.

Yup, she totally was friendly and nice to firsties.

She did know an awful lot about everything.

“Also,” Cela added in a helpful sort of tone, “I’m really very pretty.”

There was a long, awkward silence and Tate stared at her warily.

“Err… yes. That too.”


XD Yes I totally did just write a Mary Sue drabble about my own RP character. Poor Tate.

This is for you Ern xox

72/Vex

“I pierce you with my veela eyes,” Rilla Marilla Scintilla whispered at the rather obtuse boy sitting at the common room table. He hunched further over his homework, completely ignoring her. How extremely vexing!

“I taunt you with my veela smile,” Rilla said, just a bit louder.

“Yup. Sure do,” the sixth year said cheerfully, unrolling his parchment a bit further and jotting down a note.

Rilla stomped her foot. “My veela charm compels you. My veela scent draws you in. You are in my power now!”

“Ooookay,” he rolled up his homework and stood. “And now we’re done here.”


For...whoever chose the number. Darn. I forget who. And most especially for all the precious firsties who are "trying something out." And for all the other students who let them.

50/Boggart

She stood.

Nervously awaiting her challenge.

Her Boggart.

Perfect hair shone in unison with those big pretty eyes, her perfect body tense and shivering. She grasped her wand, focusing on its core made from a strand of her own silver-blonde hair, hoping it would be enough to stop her greatest fears from coming true.

And you ignored her.

You simply stopped paying attention in favour of more interesting and flawed heroines.

She couldn’t make that funny. Riddikulus wouldn’t work.

You became her boggart in truth, and for her it was a nightmare.

Because without you, dear reader, she wouldn’t exist.

18/ Whomping Willow

Emery Twinklebright watched the long branches of the Whomping Willow reach toward her, hitting the ground with restless thuds. Thump. Thump. Thump.

Try as she might, there just seemed to be NO way to get close enough to the tree to give it a nuzzle.

“Hey! You! Author person,” Emery shouted at the sky.

Hmmm?

“I want to be graceful.”

I made you graceful.

“I want to be graceful enough to dance right up to the tree without any of the branches touching me,” Emery stomped her foot.

I don’t think so. I’m going for canon accuracy.

“Why start now?”



Credit to Jer for naming her and moonyroxs for picking the number

97/ Dictionary

“Dashing.”

“Dazzling!”

“Delectable!”

“Delicious!”

“Delightful!”

“Desirable!”

“Dishy!”

“Divine!”

After one of their number had claimed there simply weren’t enough words in the dictionary to describe him, a gaggle of Hogwarts girls had regrouped in the library to check.

Sporting a smile made up of pearly white teeth, Gary Stewart stood nearby, leaning against a bookshelf in a way that clearly fit every single word thus far discovered.

“He’s Easy too.” The superior and disapproving look made it clear that this one thought she was different.

There was always one who thought she could resist his charm.

“Extremely.” Gary knew better.

56/ Fight

“This is really happening, isn’t it?”

The leather-clad girl with a mass of red hair glanced at her companion for reassurance, but the blond Slytherin princess averted her eyes.

“It is the destruction of the world as we know it, Clothilda.”

Clothilda’s eyes filled with crystalline tears. “But… it’s so unfair, Magdalena. Just because the series has ended and people are writing less fanfiction doesn’t mean there is no more need for Potter Mary Sue’s. We should fight!”

Magdalena shook her head sadly. “I suggest you start looking for a new job. Have you considered Hunger Games? Percy Jackson? Twilight?”