100 things not to do at Hogwarts as told by the Marauders - Sa 13+ Purveyors of Aids to Magical Mischief Makers Are proud to present THE 100 THINGS THAT ONE SHOULD NOT DO AT HOGWARTS" Hello friends and fellow mischief-makers. This series of drabbles follows our beloved Marauders through their many adventures at Hogwarts in a collection of stories of what they have done and what they should never, ever repeat again. As a foreword, I have to warn you that this entire list is full of bold-face lies. The Marauders will Obligatory disclaimer: All cannon characters seen in these drabbles belong to the beautiful mind of J.K. Rowling, as does the universe in which they live. +Prompts: 1. Herbology 2. Muggle Studies 3. Transfiguration 4. Ancient Runes 5. Astronomy 6. Divination 7. Care of Magical Creatures 8. Potions 9. Defense Against the Dark Arts 10. Arithmancy 11. History of Magic 12. Charms 13. Quidditch 14. Hogwarts, A History 15. Room 16. Dragonhide gloves 17. Cauldron 18. Whomping Willow 19. Wand 20. Hogsmeade 21. Veela 22. Kneazle 23. Telescope 24. House elf 25. Sorting Hat 26. Quill 27. Owl 28. Timeturner 29. Pensieve 30. Feast 31. Dress robes 32. Common room 33. Classroom 34. Parseltongue 35. Pureblood 36. Muggle 37. Animagus 38. Patronus 39. Duel 40. Spell 41. Thestrals 42. Portraits 43. Headmaster 44. Ford Anglia 45. Licorice Wand 46. Dungeon 47. Portkey 48. Leprechaun 49. Yule Ball 50. Boggart 51. Act 52. Bore 53. Chase 54. Dare 55. Egg on 56. Fight 57. Goblin 58. Hoot 59. Ignore 60.Joke 61. Kiss 62. Amortentia 63. Mooch 64. Nap 65. Ooze 66. Pace 67. Quell 68. Roar 69. Slap 70. Spook 71. Untie 72. Vex 73. Warn 74. X-tinguish 75. Yodel 76. Zap 77. Cheerful 78. author's choice 79. author's choice 80. author's choice 81. Depression 82. Careful 83. Fearful 84. Angry 85. Snappish 86. Daring 87. Staircase 88. Sweet Tooth 89. Past 90. Present 91. Future 92. Chocolate 93. Chicken 94. Allergic 95. Snowball 96. Socks 97. Dictionary 98. Pajamas 99. Trunk 100. Homework Progress: 36 out of 100 +91. Future Number 1: I will write a list of things that I will not do at Hogwarts… Anymore. “Oi Moon-Face, tell me again why we’re doing this?” |
95. Snowball +95 Snowball Number 2: I will not throw snowballs at my Professors. “Alright everyone ready?” James turned directly to Peter, “It is essential that we focus on our assigned targets.” |
22. Kneazle +22 Kneazle Number 3: I will not drop a kneazle off the astronomy tower. “Place your bets here, place your bets here!” |
96. Socks +96 Socks Number 4: I will not throw a red sock into Padfoot’s white laundry. Sirius Black was in an absolute rage. He practically stomped all the way to the room, not even bothering to give the boy’s a warning as he flung open the door. |
92. Chocolate +92 Chocolate Number 5: I will not hold Moony’s chocolates hostage. “The first step is admitting the problem, Moony.” |
12. Charms This drabble is based on this tumblr post. Number 6: We will not distract Lily during lessons. Peter had been waiting for this moment his whole Hogwarts career. Normally it was James’ job. When James couldn’t make it, he passed it over to Sirius. And when Sirius couldn’t make it, Remus took over. Remus hardly ever skipped class, so Peter hardly ever got the opportunity. But it was his time to shine. |
27. Owl +27 Owl Number 7: I will not send Severus hygiene products for Christmas, even if it’s for his own good. All Christmas presents were accounted for. He had gotten a bag of treats from Honeydukes for Peter, some books about something or another for Remus, he had already given Sirius his gift earlier this morning, and an emerald locket for Evans. |
6. Divination +6 Divination Number 8: I will not fake my homework for class. “Tell her some masked bloke will visit?” James offered. |
26. Quill +26 Quill Number 9: I will not fill Moony’s inkpot with invisible ink. Remus walked into Gryffindor Tower, clearly angry. And Peter was giggling harder than ever. Normally Sirius and James handled pranks, but this one was all Pettigrew. |
24. House Elf +24 House Elf Number 10: I will not replace the bludgers with house elves. “In hindsight Moony, it sounded like a good idea at the time,” Sirius shrugged. |
14. Hogwarts, A History +14 Hogwarts, A History Number 11: I will not use my history textbook as a pillow…. Or weapon. Remus Lupin was paying attention to the lesson, Lily Evans was paying attention too, James Potter was paying attention to Lily Evans, Sirius Black was paying attention to Peter Pettigrew, and Peter Pettigrew was taking a nap. |
17. Cauldron +17 Cauldron Number 12: I will not set my cauldron on fire. But I make no promises about Severus’s hair. “James, you can’t set anymore cauldron explosions, Slughorn’s going to kills us!” Remus whispered, not to sound amused despite how entertaining he found the explosives in class. |
48. Leprechaun +48 Leprechaun Number 13: I will not ask Professor Flitwick if he is part Leprechaun. Remus Lupin was sitting in the corner, vigorously taking notes. However, Sirius, James, and Peter weren’t listening. It wasn’t much of a surprise to any other bystander, but Remus was still quite embarrassed. Sometimes he had to stop and wonder how his friends were still at the top of their class when they never listened. Which is why it was a surprise for everyone when Peter raised his hand to answer Flitwick’s next question. |
30. Feast +30 Feast Number 14: I will not start a food fight in the great hall. “They are not paying me enough for this,” Sirius frowned as he picked up a banana peel from the floor, holding it up daintily with two fingers. “Actually, they aren’t paying me at all! Why the heck did we agree to this again?” |
32. Common Room +32 Common Room Number 15: I will not sweep the Common Room with Sirius Black’s Quidditch broom. Remus Lupin cared for a lot of things. For example, he cared for his friends, he cared for the well-being of society, he cared for Charms, he cared for Lily’s cat whilst she was out studying. But see, one thing he did not care for was Quidditch, which, was quite unfortunate because sometimes he felt as if that’s all his friends cared about. |
45. Licorice Wand +45 Licorice Wand Number 16: I will not replace all the first years’ wands with licorice. “You know, we hardly spend any time together anymore, Moony,” Sirius mused. |
42. Portraits +42 Portraits Number 17: I will not flirt with the portraits, even if THEY started it. The marauders minus Remus had been standing outside the Common Room for a grand total of two hours. And they weren’t happy about it. “For the last time Sirius, she’s not going to let you in no matter how many times you try to compliment her backdrop,” |
60. Joke +60 Joke Number 18: I will not forget to get the common room password. Clearly flirting his way into the common room wouldn’t work, but Sirius Black was willing to try despite. Though, James Potter was starting to get very impatient and Peter Pettigrew still had a divination essay to write. |
62. Amortentia +62 Amortentia Number 19: I will not mess with love potions. James Potter made his way over to the Gryffindor table with a great smile on his face. Breakfast was the best time of the day. His bum only hardly made it onto the bench before he began shoveling food down, only then pausing to look over at Peter. “Oi, what’s wrong with him?” |
63. Mooch +63 Mooch Number 20: I will not mooch off of Moony’s homework. “Oi, Remus! What did you get for number two?” Sirius peered over the boy’s shoulder to get a better look. |
51. Act +51 Act Number 21: I will not keep telling the first years that there is a pool on the roof. “Five galleons! Get your roof access passes for only five galleoooons!” Sirius stood in the corridor waving around the elaborate passes he had made just the night before. Of course there wasn’t a pool on the roof, but how were the first years supposed to know when James and Peter had helped spread the rumors all last week? |
18. Whomping Willow +18 Whomping Willow Number 22: I will not encourage first years to befriend the whomping willow. “Sometimes I question how you even managed to get past third year,” Remus shook his head at James. Their plan was a recipe for disaster. As a prefect, it was his job to stop it. |
59. Ignore +59 Ignore Number 23: I will not ignore the homework. “Can you believe her!?” James huffed as he slung his backpack onto the couch in the Gryffindor Common Room. “What does she mean it’s not optional!?! I’ve gone my entire life without writing a single essay and it suddenly now becomes ‘not optional’???” |
64. Nap +64 Nap Number 24:I will not take naps in the library… Apparently they aren’t fond of my snoring. “I don’t see why they had to ban me,” Sirius shrugged as he took a bite of his apple. |
29. Pensieve +29 Pensieve Number 25: I will not fill Dumbledore’s pensieve with firewhiskey. James was taking Remus’ side for one of the first times in history. Which, by the way, came as a surprise to everyone. |
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