Hi everyone! Wow, this is my... fourth fic here. Third one shot. Alright well, I have a thing for all the "forbidden love" ships, and this one is James/Narcissa. Oh yes, James/Narcissa. Be very afraid. Honestly, I don't particularly like this one shot, but I decided to publish it anyway, just for kicks.



All In My Head

(Flashback)

“James, come on!” a girl said, laughing while pulling the boy away from the Quidditch display. He turned away from the brooms, and looked instead at the girl beside him. Taking her hand and beginning to walk, the boy grinned.

“Anything for you, Narcissa, even if it means I must deprive myself of Quidditch supplies.” The girl smiled back at him, and on they walked, happy, in love, and holding hands.

(End Flashback)

I saw you today. In Diagon Alley. I watched silently as you strolled by with your husband, your hand in his and a smile on your beautiful face. I couldn’t help but seethe with jealousy. And you barely noticed me, you never gave me a second look. Did you forget the past? Did you forget all those times that we walked down the street like that? Lily came to me. “James,” she said quietly, “what’s wrong?” She could see through my blank expression. I forced the corners of my lips to curve upwards, as I lied to her.

“Nothing, my love.”

(Flashback)

“What’s wrong, James?”

The boy was silent for a moment. “Narcissa, I love you. You know that, right? But I can’t. We... we aren’t supposed to happen. Do you realize what your family would do to you if they found out about us? At best, they’d disown you. They’d probably kill me. Maybe you as well. I can’t let that happen.” The girl replied angrily.

“Well, they won’t find out. They can’t, they can’t, I love you...” she cried, her anger tuning to helpless desperation as she buried her head in the boy’s chest.

“It’s alright, they won’t find out,” he whispered, trying to be brave, to believe his own lie.

(End Flashback)

After our short encounter, Lily and I stopped in Florean Fortescue’s Ice Cream Parlor. We took a small booth, and while sitting across from one another, Lily made light, contented chatter, not noticing that I was silently staring at my ice cream. I heard the little bell ring that announced arrivals. My head shot up, and my heart sank once again as I saw you and your husband enter the little shop. I diverted my eyes quickly, back to the little dish in front of me.I realized that I had churned the frozen treat to mush, and I hadn’t taken a bite.

(Flashback)

The boy looked happy as he took a seat opposite the girl in a little corner booth of the shop. She sighed. “I love it here. Oh James, this is perfect.”

“You’re perfect, Narcissa,” he said without thinking, “you’re my world. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

She blushed, and quietly said, “And you never will.”

(End Flashback)

Lily whispered to me. “Don’t look now, but the Malfoys just came in. Don’t say anything, they’ll make a scene.” I didn’t acknowledge her, I knew all too well who had come in. I could feel your presence around me like a silken blanket, though it seemed you no longer felt mine. I began to stir my ice cream once more, but I stopped when, shocked, I heard two sets of footsteps stop at Lily and I’s table. I cautiously surveyed the couple who tarried beside us, through the corner of my eyes, and I saw that it was you. I brought my gaze up to your face, full on, and I felt my soul ripping in two as I took in the look of contempt you gave me. No sadness, no memories, just careless enmity.

(Flashback)

The girl sat alone in a cozy, fire-lit room. She combed her long blonde hair slowly, as she sat on her bed. She stopped suddenly, and called out. “James? Is that you? Are you there?” The boy soundlessly entered the room.

“Narcissa, I was almost caught tonight. We can’t continue like this. It’s dangerous. Sooner our later, it’s going to slip out.”

“James, no! I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again. I’d rather be disowned than lose you. Please!” The girl’s face was the picture of sadness and denial. The boy’s hard, but reluctant expression changed, but only for a moment.

(End Flashback)

Lucius sneered. “Old Fortescue’s been slacking on tidying up the place. There’s filth on half the tables here,” he said, looking pointedly at Lily and I.

You laughed, “There’s obviously no standard of cleanliness whatsoever.” The sound of your voice saying those hateful words was so lovely, so beautiful. I knew that Lily expected me to defend her, but I couldn’t stand up to yoau. There was no way. You looked at me with mock-pity. “Aww, what’s wrong Potter, can’t think of a witty reply?” My heart melted at the sound, and I knew exactly what I wanted to say. But could I?

(Flashback)

The boy’s face hardened once more. “No, Narcissa. We have to end this. I can’t let you stay in danger. I’m asking Lily Evans to the Yule Ball, and when Lucius Malfoy asks you, you’re going to accept. I can’t come and see you any more. Or write, or anything. I’m sorry, and I love you. But this is too dangerous. And I’m ending it. I... have to.” Tears began to slip down the girl’s face, but she nodded slowly.

“Then leave,” she said in a ragged whisper. The boy didn’t move. “Leave!” she screamed at him. With a small gesture of farewell this time, he slowly left the room, and shut the door, leaving his whole world behind.

(End Flashback)

I felt it burning in my throat, and I knew that the secret was about to be revealed for the world to see, for I could not keep it any longer. “Narcissa!” I screamed desperately, “What happened to us? Did you just forget? I loved you, you loved me, and we were happy! Did you just forget all of that?” Your face registered only anger and confusion.

“What? What are you talking about?”

I was started now, and I couldn’t stop. “You, you and me! Fifth, sixth, and seventh years! Don’t you remember anything? We walked down Diagon Alley together, we came in here, we, we were in love! It was all a secret, remember? And we ended it because I decided it was too dangerous. But I still loved you, and I still do, and I always will! Don’t... Can’t you remember?” I realized that I was sobbing and screaming at the same time. Then, you slapped me.

“I don’t know what your problem is, but that is the largest lie I’ve ever heard! I would never be with you!” You were yelling at me. I was crumbling, and suddenly, I knew the truth. It sunk in like a sharp sword, slicing me into small and unrecognizable pieces. My past, my life, my love, my world, it was all imagination. It was all in my head.
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Note: If you like my work, be sure to check out my other two oneshots, Hero and The Last Minute Love Letter, as well as my full-length fic, Death Can Not Part Us. Please read and review!

ummm CAN YOU SAY DEPRESSING? lol...no it was really good! not a huuggeee fan of the ship...but this story was good. gosh...i enjoy reading depressing things because it makes my life seem much better lol..haha

*Kate*

to tell the truth, i don't really support this ship, i'm with the third poll option, i just think they would have been an interesting twist in canon. it might be because we don't know as much of narcissa's character... maybe. that's sort of why i didn't write that they actually happened, and james was just insane, lol.

and about the depressing things, the strangest thing happened yesterday. in science, we had to write a one-page story from the perspective of an herbivore (oh yes), and i wrote this story about a rabbit reflecting on his life as he was abotu to be eaten, and i thought it was cheesy, but like, everyone made me share it, cause i'm sort of the writer of the class, and then, as i was reading it aloud, i realized how depressing it was, and i was holding back tears by the end, and then i cried a little when i got back to my seat. it was really weird.

Umm, wait - So nothing between them actually happened? *ish confused*

Still, nice ship, and nice writing. I support T/ L [Theodore Nott, Luna], so I know all about odd ships. =D

well.... i meant for it never to happen, but you know what, i just decided that there is no absolute truth in this story. you can decide. is he just insane, or did it really happen? is narcissa lying? or maybe, james is the only sane one, and the others are all deluded. your call.

Nice story, and a good twist with the shipping.

Love,
Jay

I really love this chapter!!! I hope that you add more soon!!! Is it a one-shot or a full lenghth FF!! please tell me that it is more than a one-shot at least because I am loving your FF!!!!

weel.... geez i never really thought of this as a full length, it is a oneshot... but it could be a full length... tell you what, i'm going to finish my current full-length fic, and put this one in the finished fanfics, and then when i'm finished with the other one, i'll possibly take this one back out and add to it. btw, if you like this one, be sure to check out my other two oneshots, and my full length, i'm putting the links up in the first post.

Sounds cool!!!

I always read too much into storys. In my opinion James is not crazy. He and Narcissa did date and he loved her. I think that the reason he said that it was a lie and all in his head was because after reflecting on their relationship he realized that she did not feel the same way about him. He was dangerous because her family didn't want them together, and she thought it was fun. Sorry if I totally missed the mark.

no, that's great. i like that this story has no definite ending, and that it's open for interpretation. i like your spin on it.

ZOMG! This ver amazingly good. hahaa. I'm hooked. End of Story. You should make this a real FF. *just a suggestion*

x b r o o k e.

if it was a full FF, i would have this be like the "prologue" ish thing, and have the first chappie go back to the beginning, before the said james/narcissa relationship, then go into it, and then somehow have the last chapter still leave the option of deciding what really happened... hmm... i really may take this out and do that someday... while you wait, which may be a while, you could read the fic i'm working on now, it's mostly draco/hermione, but there's a slight draco/hermione/voldemort triangle. the link is up there, it's called Death Can Not Part Us.