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Term 57: January - April 2021 Term Fifty-Seven: The Third Wizarding War (Sept 2103 - June 2104)

 
 
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Old 12-22-2020, 04:59 AM
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Default The Pathways


A set of paths, some stone, some dirt, link the courtyard to almost every other area of the Hogwarts grounds. Walking upon these various pathways is a lovely way to clear your mind after a long day of classes. This is a quiet area of the grounds with the soft sound of leaves rustling in the wind or lightly crunching below your feet. Doesn't the air just seem fresher around here somehow?

Take a walk with a friend, find an unoccupied bench to read a book, try to climb one of the many trees, stop to smell the flowers, or play hide and seek in the thick shrubberies just off the beaten path. Be careful not to trip on the loose stones here and there though. These are a lot of pathways for one man to maintain.


Old 02-04-2021, 12:11 AM   #26 (permalink)
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Bernadette could have laughed now, she could have. What did it say for her current state of wellbeing that she was constantly torn between wanting to laugh maniacally and/or attack someone? Call her Arthur because she was becoming quite the unstable joker.

"Or is it obvious to everyone but you when you're being a diricawl, Nem? You don't know how others see you." Berns quietly shook her head, still not looking at the other person on the bench. Once again (to keep making the most of a ridiculous metaphor), much like the diricawl, Nem could fool the Muggles, but not the wizards who could still see them. Shame Bernie still felt she was a bit of both categories. She continued glaring straight ahead, thinking angry thoughts. Nem was also so rude to her, like, always. Like oh you don't like assumptions? Here, let me continue to level assumptions your way. There's nooooo way you'd get it, Berns, you're too dumb! Patronizing, that was the word, and when someone started to patro---

…..wait. Wait wait wait. wait. Wait. Hold the phone, as the Muggles at home would say. THAT was what Nem came up with? All this waiting and yet, that....memory....if one could call it that... could hardly measure up. Now Bernadette was once again about to laugh, and she actually had to pull one of her cold hands out of her pockets, pressing her knuckles to her teeth to hold the laughter in. There was something there, with the way Nem presented everything so matter-of-factly; but which pathway SHOULD SHE TAKE? Oh, the irony!

"So you were the first lost cause?" she asked lightly, almost cheerfully, definitely sardonically. Bernie's big blue eyes were just here for you, Nemcompoop, searching for theirs, watching for something real. She even scooted closer to them on the bench, all the better to watch Nem. "You don't think it's a bit.... egotistical to assume that your mere existence was enough to spurn your parents into bringing four more souls, potentially souls just like you into the world?"

Please. Perish the thought; it was hardly rational, hardly like Nemesis. Enlighten Bernie with an actual interesting tale, not more stories like wah wah, I have two wizard parents obnoxiously in love and actually capable of raising intelligent children. Or whatever. Because she wouldn't ever feel sympathy for that. Ever. And what's more, Bernie wasn't sure Nem had ever really cried. Ever. No one that she knew of, besides MAYBE some baby first years, revealed that kind of raw emotion and then later spoke about it. Ever. Even in Schmoe's office, Bernie had mostly cried crocodile tears over the years. Listen, she just wasn't easily convinced or persuaded. Ever. Not unless she had a proclivity in that direction anyway.

Actually, the more she thought about it, the less angry she became, and the more she wanted to laugh. Giggle, really, at the mental image of Nem crying. Wah wah wah. Yeah, right. Old Berns was too old to buy that.
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Old 02-04-2021, 03:13 AM   #27 (permalink)

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Nem really did laugh at that, they couldn't help it (read: they could absolutely help it). It lasted only a few seconds before they reined it in, but their smile lingered. "You're right. I don't have the first idea how people see me." Sarcasm? Genuine confirmation? Impossible to say.

As the moments passed, Nem stayed in their lounging position, gazing up at the sky but watching Grantham in their periphery, and through the odd glance. Funny, they wouldn't have been surprised by anger over that contribution - so unbalanced, given hers - but... actually, no, this wasn't too surprising either. If she'd taken it at face value, that would have been different.

"No, there was another one before me." Nem delivered the line as casually as the anecdote, it being entirely inconsequential. As Grantham scooted closer, they fixed their eyes on her again; scrutinising her once more, even as she did the same to them. Not to be evasive or anything, but Nem could only disregard that question - which may as well have been hypothetical, for all the good answering it would do - and instead seized upon another observation. "Do you really think that, because my story isn't just so tragic, that you have the right to mock it? Or how it might have affected me?" Their tone was just shy of hurt, but far from upset, Nem was pleased. Grantham had been in danger of becoming boring - nothing personal, everyone was - and a little bit of fire went a long way, in more ways than one. They frowned slightly, an infinitesimal crease of the brow. "I'm surprised at you, Bernadette. I told you it didn't measure up; why would you get spiteful about it? What have I done to warrant that?"

No, really. They were curious. Examples welcome.

Another sigh. Nem looked away, stared up at the sky once more, and spoke again, before Grantham had a chance to answer that question.

"If you still want something deeper than that, I will tell you. Just not right now."
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Old 02-04-2021, 03:43 AM   #28 (permalink)
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Bernie was feeling MORE THAN A BIT RED-FACED now. It was the patronizing, it was. She didn't like feeling stupid; she knew she deserved better. But would it be more embarrassing now to properly stomp off or just carry on this maddening conversation?

Her gaze flicked heavenward in a bit of an eyeroll (Another one before me! So that was, what, eight [EIGHT?!] junior Upsteads?!) and then back down at Nem. She didn't even care enough to question this further. These damn Upsteads again. She was starting to regret writing a paper about them in History of Magic last year. Yes, just now starting to regret it, because 86% of the time she enjoyed THIS Upstead. Just.... not today.

A small smile twitched at her lips again, close as she was to bursting into a full-out crazy-person laugh. "I just saw an opportunity and took it." Per usual; this was the Gryffindor way, wasn't it? It was the only way Bernie knew how to be, for sure. She tsked, verbally, at Nem acting all hurt like she'd just kicked a cruppy. She could have said much worse; she knew she was capable of it. Had thought of it, too. She was, some would say, adept in actually saying hurtful things to the cruppies of the school, like Phoebe's sister, and Nem was no cruppy. She watched all these little microexpressions of Nem's, her face not so far away from theirs now. Watched. Noted. Not bought.

"You should join the drama club."

Honestly.

Annnnnnd Nem was onto something, again with the dramatic sky-looking, as though the answer was up there.

"Yeah, I'm just supposed to trust that you'll do that." Or remember that. Though Nem DID kind of deliver on the goods with the hat exchange, so.... a small part of her said there was maybe a chance.
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Old 02-04-2021, 04:31 AM   #29 (permalink)

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"Clearly." And then, just on the off chance it would tick her off, "You're a lot like me in that respect."

That, at least, was not a lie. Maybe Grantham had never noticed it - maybe nobody had, they didn't exactly give a running commentary of their thought processes - but Nem was terribly opportunistic. Always beneficial to leave options open, exploit any possibility that presented itself, not to mention do the first thing that occurred to them if it meant just the slightest chance they could only reach what they were constantly pursuing.

Drama club. Nem made a face. "Not a chance. And that was a serious question, y'know, about what I'm supposed to have done to you. You can take a few days if you're having trouble." So gracious. So understanding. So one hundred percent not kidding.

But, speaking of opportunism.

"Good point. Because I never keep my word." All this unsubstantiated nonsense Grantham was coming out with, honestly. Didn't matter though; actually, this worked out quite nicely. "I could promise," Nem said lightly, eyes still on the prize skies. "If it would help, I could make a vow."
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Old 02-04-2021, 01:15 PM   #30 (permalink)
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Bernadette had noticed it, and had essentially been saying this for a while now, but here they were. Again. This did not bother her. It was, as the kids say, FACTS. She shook her head to herself once more, accompanying it with a soft, "I know."

Unlike Nem, Bernie did not pull a face. She pulled her cold hands out of her pockets for air quotes instead. "You can take a few days if you're having trouble," she mocked, properly this time, along with a sidelong glance for Nem, her dark eyebrows curiously calm and neutral. "No offense or anything, but I was in a bad mood when I joined you here. It had nothing to do with you. Did you make it better? A little. Did you make it worse by being so condescending? Definitely." There, Nem, there. Happy? Happy to get Berns talking?

She again did not rise to the sarcastic occasion, though the way Nem said vow made her ears prick up. "I'm listening."
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Old 02-04-2021, 04:25 PM   #31 (permalink)

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Incredible. The levels of maturity Grantham showed were just astounding. She must be really looking forward to her eighth birthday.

"No offence or anything, but if you were in a bad mood before you even joined me, then... I dunno, that's not entirely on me." Be your own emotional regulator, Bernadette Grantham. There was also something to be said for someone who got so hung up on something like a bad mood, and condescension, given the wider situation. Nothing good, but certainly something. "I'm sorry if that's how I made you feel though. Wasn't trying to be condescending, just... well, I really think it's true. If you're in a bad mood or getting wound up, especially by me, now's just not the right time to hear what I want to say. I need you to be, you know, zen or whatever, and I know that won't be happening any time soon."

This Neo-Alliance takeover was something of a spanner in the works in that regard (depending on perspective). It had everyone so touchy. The fact remained; Grantham had to be as close to level-headed and composed as she was capable of being. Only then would Nem take that risk.

They stretched their legs out, heels pressed in the ground, and then crossed them, one ankle resting over the other. "Have you heard of an Unbreakable Vow?"
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Old 02-04-2021, 04:50 PM   #32 (permalink)
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Bernadette stared. At. Nem. "I. Know. I just said that." She was really starting to think the dodo/diricawl thing was more accurate than she'd even known. Nemesis WAS a dodobrain. A total self-absorbed dodobrain. But she didn't entirely hate dodos, as it were. She had a lot of patience for them, apparently. Maybe even a small amount of respect. Maybe even another small amount of begrudging enjoyment, or whatever. She paused a moment, then added, "I was just explaining, okay."

She looked away with a shrug, still feeling all in her feelings. They wouldn't go away that easily, unfortunately. Being emotionally well-adjusted just wasn't in the cards for her at this point in her life.

"Yeah." Bernie's gaze landed on a bird in the tree in the distance. Wait. Yeah. Wait...... yeah? It took a moment for it to click, but. She swiveled her head back to staring at Nem, her eyes all bright and interested now. "You can't do an unbreakable vow, though," she challenged, though her tone wasn't sassy but more likely factual. And quiet, because unlike earlier in the term, she wasn't so angry that she wanted her scheming with Nemesis to be overheard. "First off, you need a third person to do that spell, don't you, and second off, that's not exactly fifth year stuff."
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Nem kept their tone far from annoyed, or accusatory, and closer to how it would sound if they had been making some observation in a lesson. "Then why would you give that as an answer for what I'd done to you, when you already knew it wasn't on me?" If that was her Gryffindor way of admitting defeat, Nem supposed they'd take it. "No, I know, you don't have to answer that. I know you were only explaining, I'm sorry. It just threw me a bit." Actually, that was sort of close to the truth. Nem was good at reading people and understanding their emotional responses, but only to an extent, and mostly through observation and extensive studying. The more complex kneejerk reactions, the ones that were all at once rational and irrational, those could be more difficult to follow. Working on it.

They turned their head to look properly at Grantham, the moment they sensed her looking away. "I really am sorry for making it worse. I didn't mean to." Half true. That hadn't been their intention, at the very least. "And I know things must be awful for you at the moment already."

But anyway. Enough... sentiment.

"I have a feeling they don't exactly teach the practical part of it in school at all," Nem replied, now making direct eye contact with Grantham once again. "But my mother always says I can do anything I set my mind to, and I do know a bit about 'advanced' magic." Look at that; they could do air quotes too. But really, Nem had never set much in store by the idea of something being too advanced. It was true - not that they would admit it - that their magical ability didn't push the envelope in terms of raw power, though they were hardly weak or even average either. It was also true that that didn't matter; their brain was brilliant, no point pretending otherwise, and that more than made up for it when it came to grasping higher level stuff. The Big Man had seen that for himself. An Unbreakable Vow didn't need to be strong, anyway - it either worked or it didn't. "I think it's possible. I'm sure I could find someone discreet enough." And then obliviate them. Maybe. Just an idea.
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Old 02-05-2021, 02:20 AM   #34 (permalink)
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Yeah, alright. When did Nem start to go all soft on her anyway? Bernadette didn't know what to make of this response so she shrugged for the umpteenth time, her hands in her pockets maybe fidgeting a little, maybe making rude gestures with her hidden fingers, maybe just regular ferrety twitching a bit.

Still in that reticent funk from earlier, Bernie may have been surprised further by Nem's comments. Saying sorry? Twice? What was this, her 8th birthday?! What kind of kindness was this?! All she really did though was nod, a quiet little nod of acknowledgement and acceptance.

And onto the fun part of this…. mess.

"Okay…" She was puzzling through, biting back a laugh at how Nem sounded when they said the phrase my mother says. Hehe. So using the name Becca was out of vogue, suddenly? She could have chuckled for real but she was busy musing over the idea about the vow. "So… humor little old me," Bernie's was careful not to put too much tone in that, "and confirm what, exactly, you're planning to avow?" To her? And why?
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Old 02-07-2021, 02:21 AM   #35 (permalink)

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Lazy lounging was still happening. To any casual onlooker it might have looked like Nem was giving of an account of any old boring everyday incident, or maybe theorising how the weather might start to turn. Certainly not the casual application of a potentially deadly piece of magic.

Perish the thought.

And Grantham, please, sometimes you had to abandon what was in vogue in favour of a desired effect.

"What about..." Nem paused, and mulled over possible wording for a moment. Tricky, given it was sort of an open-ended and subjective promise, not to mention the internal conflict regarding leaving themselves a subtle loophole, versus that defeating the entire point by nullifying what they would get out of it. These two sides of their nature had always made for a complicated collision. "I could promise to tell you what I was about to tell you just now, on this day, at this location. And I'll tell you once we're out of this mess... or once we've both left for good, whichever is earliest. Provided one of us doesn't die beforehand." Duh. The Vow would hardly hold if Grantham went off and took on Rent-a-Snitch single-handed, or got in the way of some lethal curse or something. "Or maybe I can promise to tell you one thing, something objectively significant to me, within those parameters." Nem looked Grantham in the eye again. "What do you think? How would you word it?"

So nice.
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Old 02-07-2021, 03:11 AM   #36 (permalink)
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Bernie nodded a few times, snuggling her head/neck into her scarf as she thought over the proposal. Fine fine, alright, now she had to decide what she wanted out of this... vow.

How ridiculous. Imagine Bernadette, making an Unbreakable Vow, at fifteen years old. A complicated bit of magic which, if she was even understanding properly, could potentially result in the death of her classmate. Not her, though. She could still walk away from this scot-free. What would Trent say? She honestly hadn't had this thought about her former mentor in some time, and it really was a sign of the times that she wasn't reacting more to this entire situation, maybe with some classic shouting and whatnot... so, had she regressed this much under the strain of this year? Or was this some form of progress for her as a person?

"Listen, Nem, you don't have to do this." Bernadette stared suddenly at them, only half of her face fully visible. She waited a bit, emphasizing this point with her ever-so-slightly raised eyebrows. "But if you did, for some reason, still want to go through with this, I would say that the former... er, proposition sounds better."

Because people following through with their promises MATTERED to her. She wasn't sure about the once we've both left for good part though. Why? Why? It kind of threw her into crisis sometimes to think too deeply about her future (or lack thereof?!).
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Old 02-09-2021, 03:32 AM   #37 (permalink)

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"I know I don't," Nem said simply. And there it was, a subtle skip somewhere in the solar plexus region, so faint. Barely anything, yet practically everything. They wet their lips with the tip of their tongue so the cold winter air would sting, and let a vague smile settle onto them. "I want to prove it to you, that I'll keep my word. No danger if I have every intention, is there?"

Hadn't the name of the game for Nemesis, on some level, always been that of self-preservation? It was certainly something Grantham was aware of, since the boathouse, and Nem was banking on her remembering that, and applying it to this moment right here.

"So we'll go with the first one." That sensation had faded already, as Nem had known it would; they were, after all, only dealing with possibilities for the moment. Even so, a vague irritation nagged at them, a craving for more. The sooner they did this, the better. "Maybe I can get Ez to be the third party, if you give me some time." Not ideal; he was a third year, and not a particularly skilled one when left to his own devices, but tended to do what he was told, and wouldn't say anything about a bit of modified memory. Nem would rather only the two people sitting on this bench be in the know. Speaking of which. "Best not to tell anyone."

BFF Schmoe could be left out of this one.
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Bernie's head ever so gently tilted toward Nem, as though seeing his side of things and then agreeing. "Alright," she agreed simply, eyeballing the hat again as though it had something to do with anything. Actually... maybe the hat was an example of... everything? Of why they were in this mess in the first place? Of why she'd stomped over to this bench? Of how she had started her friendship with Nem? Of her abil---

She could feel herself starting to retreat into her thoughts again; it was as though she had been climbing a spiraling staircase and suddenly all the stairs flattened into a slide, sending her whoooooooshing down into a pit of despair. This had almost nothing to do with Nemesis and everything to do with the surreal situation of this school year. Bernie tried to shake herself out of it but she could feel the weight of apprehension settling over her life the dementors she'd read about, you know the ones, that had come to the lake to try to arrest Sirius Black....

"Who do I have to tell?" Bernie shivered suddenly and tried to find something tangible to focus on, which in this case, was Nem's face, which in this case, she was once again staring at. "Take all the time you need. It's not like I can go anywhere."
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Old 02-10-2021, 12:10 AM   #39 (permalink)

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She raised a good point, but it had been worth saying anyway. That was the kind of loophole Nem would have exploited, so it made sense to them to specify. They looked from a distant mountain, back to Grantham's face, and returned the stare with yet another steady look of their own.

Was it possible for hollowness to intensify? Nem should have known by now that it was, and yet seemed to take them by surprise every time.

"It won't take too long," they said simply, trying and failing to ignore the encroaching and practically unbearable weight of nothing. They kept their eyes locked on Grantham's. "Want to walk around with me for a bit?"
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She raised a good point, but it had been worth saying anyway. That was the kind of loophole Nem would have exploited, so it made sense to them to specify. They looked from a distant mountain, back to Grantham's face, and returned the stare with yet another steady look of their own.

Was it possible for hollowness to intensify? Nem should have known by now that it was, and yet seemed to take them by surprise every time.

"It won't take too long," they said simply, trying and failing to ignore the encroaching and practically unbearable weight of nothing. They kept their eyes locked on Grantham's. "Want to walk around with me for a bit?"
"Yeah, all right," Bernie stared back, then looked away and hopped up from the bench. She flexed her fingers in her pockets to make sure they were still there and stomped her little feet a little. Cold. The coldness was settling in.

Upstead was alright, she suppppppppposed.
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Old 02-10-2021, 04:14 AM   #41 (permalink)

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It was true, the cold really was settling in, and digging down deep. At least, it had had its icy fingers wrapped around Nem for some time. For whatever reason, staying perfectly still on the bench for a few minutes had almost helped them forget about it, but when they sat up straight and got to their feet, it became all the more noticeable.

Dipping their face back into the collar of their jacket, Nem pocketed their hands again and subconsciously held their shoulders up and in as though it would make a blind bit of difference. Nudging Grantham's arm with their own - had she considered growing a few inches? - they nodded down away from the school, then started that way. "We can visit some of the kneazles, if you want."
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It was true, the cold really was settling in, and digging down deep. At least, it had had its icy fingers wrapped around Nem for some time. For whatever reason, staying perfectly still on the bench for a few minutes had almost helped them forget about it, but when they sat up straight and got to their feet, it became all the more noticeable.

Dipping their face back into the collar of their jacket, Nem pocketed their hands again and subconsciously held their shoulders up and in as though it would make a blind bit of difference. Nudging Grantham's arm with their own - had she considered growing a few inches? - they nodded down away from the school, then started that way. "We can visit some of the kneazles, if you want."
Nem suggested kneazles?! Seeing the kneazles?! "Okay," Bernie agreed easily, as she did to most things, but especially to any things involving cats. "Do you think Phil remembers us?"

Try as she might, she couldn't keep the little bit of childish hope out of her voice.
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Truthfully, Nem could make no guesses about Phil, not without studying the creature themselves, perhaps using the theories they'd worked on in their class notes. All they knew for sure was that it could not be especially kneazley. For reasons.

Maybe it remembered. Who was to say.

"I don't see why not." Nem could see plenty of reasons why not, like maybe it was still too focused on its own private rendition of It's a Small World. Grantham, however, would probably benefit from hearing this other angle.

And what was Nemesis Upstead, if not a fine, upstanding young citizen, and the best friend anyone could hope for.
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Truthfully, Nem could make no guesses about Phil, not without studying the creature themselves, perhaps using the theories they'd worked on in their class notes. All they knew for sure was that it could not be especially kneazley. For reasons.

Maybe it remembered. Who was to say.

"I don't see why not." Nem could see plenty of reasons why not, like maybe it was still too focused on its own private rendition of It's a Small World. Grantham, however, would probably benefit from hearing this other angle.

And what was Nemesis Upstead, if not a fine, upstanding young citizen, and the best friend anyone could hope for.
"So how did you learn that song anyhow?" Bernadette asked, falling into step beside Nem, though she had to walk almost doubly fast to keep up on account of the longer legs on the other person and all that. "It's a Muggle song?" She kind of peeked up at them from under her eyelashes. Was she allowed to say the M-word here? Outside? But no one was out yet, so it was probably fine, yeah?

Anyway, talking about regular classes was much lighter than all the stuff they'd been about to dig into earlier.
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Old 02-18-2021, 03:59 AM   #45 (permalink)

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"Remember what I told you?" Nem said, voice slightly muffled again, now their mouth was partially covered by their jacket again. "Becca's muggle-born. Apparently the other one was raised muggle too, so he says. Probably got it from one of them." There were always a lot of small children in the house, for as long as Nem had known, including back when they themselves were one - strange though it might be to imagine such a time. But, with small children, came the most aggressively irritating music (aka noise) known to man.

Nem didn't trouble to speak too quietly while saying all this, as they were not saying anything particularly new or incriminating. Nothing that incriminated them at least.
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Old 02-18-2021, 01:43 PM   #46 (permalink)
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Oh, right. The Muggle connection. Bernie nodded again, yes, she didn't forget. But now she had another question, so congratulations and condolences, Nemesis, you were the object of her curiosity at the moment. "Why do you call them by their first names? Do you do that to their face? Do they like it?" Like, didn't they insist on being called Father and Mömther or whatever else? She'd thought wizard kids would have to be treated like... well, other kids. And Bernie definitely would have been smacked in her household for trying to call Harry Harry and George George. But there was no tone or anything in Bernie's question. She just genuinely wanted to know and had been wondering about Nem's family ever since that History of Magic class.
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Luckily for Bernadette Grantham, Nem was perfectly content to entertain her questions, and even answer them more or less honestly. Sure.

"To their faces too. I just wanted to see what they'd do, the first time. Then I kept doing it, because I'd never liked having to call them 'mum' and 'dad' anyway, and there's no reason I should. Weird system. Sort of demands respect at the same time as enforcing familiarity." The whole 'professor' nonsense here was similar in the respect sense, but Nem went along with it because they still perceived there to be some benefit from doing so. Flexing their half-gloved fingers, shoved deep into their pockets for the added warmth, Nem thought back to the day they'd dropped the forms of address. Jake had been simultaneously incensed and utterly defeated; a definite candidate for a patronus memory. "They don't like it, but they can't exactly stop me. They're pretty soft." Too soft for Nem, at any rate, though Jake had had his moments. Even if they weren't, short of a strong Imperius Curse or something similar, how could they control what Nem said or did?

At that thought, Nem glanced sideways at Grantham. Hm... no, that was another conversation better saved for another day.
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Luckily for Bernadette Grantham, Nem was perfectly content to entertain her questions, and even answer them more or less honestly. Sure.

"To their faces too. I just wanted to see what they'd do, the first time. Then I kept doing it, because I'd never liked having to call them 'mum' and 'dad' anyway, and there's no reason I should. Weird system. Sort of demands respect at the same time as enforcing familiarity." The whole 'professor' nonsense here was similar in the respect sense, but Nem went along with it because they still perceived there to be some benefit from doing so. Flexing their half-gloved fingers, shoved deep into their pockets for the added warmth, Nem thought back to the day they'd dropped the forms of address. Jake had been simultaneously incensed and utterly defeated; a definite candidate for a patronus memory. "They don't like it, but they can't exactly stop me. They're pretty soft." Too soft for Nem, at any rate, though Jake had had his moments. Even if they weren't, short of a strong Imperius Curse or something similar, how could they control what Nem said or did?

At that thought, Nem glanced sideways at Grantham. Hm... no, that was another conversation better saved for another day.
Bernadette was a little shocked and amused at this. Mostly... amused, she thought. And also? It was clear that Nem had put some thought into why they did this, and so she felt impressed.

"That's true," she agreed, about the demanding-respect thing. "Merlin knows I hav--- I mean, I know some parents don't deserve it." But she never talked about that side of things, ever, about her dad or anything. Harry, yeah, she'd talk about Harry some. Rarely. Mostly she just thought and felt about her family and didn't do much else with it because feelings were stupid and needed to be dealt with through explosive means, that was all.

She nodded, keeping her own hands in her pockets in tight little fists. "Like soft like... your dad's not... mean to you? When you call him by his first name?" She literally could not imagine having such a parent in her life. And mean was just... such a soft word as well, but what else COULD she say without revealing her own troubles? "But don't they yell and scream and throw stuff, and like, confine you to your room, and try to mess with you or your stuff when you're not there? And you have little siblings too, right? Don't they break your things and take over your space like when.... you're... away at school?"

Bernie was still peeking at Nem for a reaction but she was also slowly realizing that not everyone was like her? It was like she knew on some level that some kids had different home lives; she knew they did because she read books. Books were her escape mostly. And she caught glimpses of the other kids' home lives here at Hogwarts! Obviously, she wasn't stupid. But at the same time... she was baffled that someone could call their parents by their first names and live to the ripe old age of 15. This absolutely would not be the case in her parents' home.
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Nem, invariably paying close attention, shot another sideways glance at Grantham when she quickly course-corrected, but said nothing of it. Just nodded in agreement, though they had a feeling that her idea of parents who didn't deserve respect might not be the same as their own.

Although, really, who would Nem consider deserving of respect at all? Deserving of anything? Funny concept, really.

They shook their head the slightest bit. "No, he's not mean. Total Hufflepuff, in fact." Nem delivered the line in a sort of thoughtful, but not off-hand way, like they were considering things, mulling over memories. Mostly, they didn't want Grantham to stop talking, spook her into changing the subject, not yet. All the same, Nem still didn't exactly have to lie. "I mean, Becca's the chill one. Jake, he does lose his rag sometimes, but only when we really push him, and usually it's just a lot of screaming. But then he always gets all guilty and in his feelings about it once he cools down. So, you know, soft."

As they walked, Nem allowed their feet to veer ever so slightly to the side, so their arm just slightly brushed Grantham's every now and then, but they continued on as normal. "I think Becca locks our doors when we're not there, so the brats don't get in. There's nothing they'd break that I really care about anyway." Nem's tone was far from being all woe-is-me, and stayed in the region of being very matter-of-fact. "To be honest, Jake more or less gave up on me a few years ago. Sometimes he still yells, but with the name thing, he just sort of sighs."

Nem was watching Grantham for real now, glancing ahead every so often as they walked, so they didn't end up flat on their face. Once again looking for a reaction while she did the same to them. "I think maybe he tries to go easy... 'cause things weren't easy when he was a kid, know what I mean?"

Look! Compassion! Quick, someone-... oh, no. Never mind. Just a weird-looking shadow.
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Nem, invariably paying close attention, shot another sideways glance at Grantham when she quickly course-corrected, but said nothing of it. Just nodded in agreement, though they had a feeling that her idea of parents who didn't deserve respect might not be the same as their own.

Although, really, who would Nem consider deserving of respect at all? Deserving of anything? Funny concept, really.

They shook their head the slightest bit. "No, he's not mean. Total Hufflepuff, in fact." Nem delivered the line in a sort of thoughtful, but not off-hand way, like they were considering things, mulling over memories. Mostly, they didn't want Grantham to stop talking, spook her into changing the subject, not yet. All the same, Nem still didn't exactly have to lie. "I mean, Becca's the chill one. Jake, he does lose his rag sometimes, but only when we really push him, and usually it's just a lot of screaming. But then he always gets all guilty and in his feelings about it once he cools down. So, you know, soft."

As they walked, Nem allowed their feet to veer ever so slightly to the side, so their arm just slightly brushed Grantham's every now and then, but they continued on as normal. "I think Becca locks our doors when we're not there, so the brats don't get in. There's nothing they'd break that I really care about anyway." Nem's tone was far from being all woe-is-me, and stayed in the region of being very matter-of-fact. "To be honest, Jake more or less gave up on me a few years ago. Sometimes he still yells, but with the name thing, he just sort of sighs."

Nem was watching Grantham for real now, glancing ahead every so often as they walked, so they didn't end up flat on their face. Once again looking for a reaction while she did the same to them. "I think maybe he tries to go easy... 'cause things weren't easy when he was a kid, know what I mean?"

Look! Compassion! Quick, someone-... oh, no. Never mind. Just a weird-looking shadow.
Berns wasn't really noticing Nem's staring problem @ her anymore; it had been different when they'd been sitting still on the bench and she'd had nothing else to concentrate on. But now she was mostly just concentrating on walking on the pathways and not tripping over anything, again hardly noticing any normal brushing by Nem here or there. She was also trying to tamp down the rage she felt building within her once more. Not rage at Nem and their precious, lucky, fortunate life, but rage at herself and the fact that... that she didn't even know such a life was possible??! Why was this just now hitting her? It was like she'd had an epiphany.

She listened to everything Nem said, the whole thing, and tried her best to control her emotions before she said anything impetuous. It was very difficult though as she felt a roiling, boiling ocean just under the surface of her skin. Her heart was beating so hard she actually felt some strange pressure thudding somewhere inside her ear.

"So you're saying that your mum does her job and your dad does his... but... but.... Nem," Bernie glanced at him now, just a tiny glance of irritation, her anger barely visible (or so she thought) as she gritted her teeth once more. "Nem, did it ever occur to you that perhaps Jake just accepts you? It doesn't sound at all like he gave up on you. It sounds like accepts you and your desire to use his first name... it's... it's like you don't even know what giving up on someone LOOKS LIKE."

She couldn't do it. She felt like SCREAMING. She actually stopped walking for a moment, as she was so QUIVERING with the sudden onset of rage again. Her fists had popped out of her pockets and her knuckles turned white as she tried to keep her hands to herself.
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