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Term 61: May - August 2022 Term Sixty-One: Riddle Me This (Sept 2107 - June 2108)

 
 
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Old 12-20-2021, 01:29 AM
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Default Mirror


Not far from the balcony, a large gilded mirror can be found on the fourth-floor corridor. Once upon a time, the mirror hid a secret passageway that would take anyone to Hogsmeade undetected at any time. Unfortunately, there was a cave in mid-way that made the passage end up not leading anywhere. Nevertheless, if you're in a pickle and can get the mirror off the wall and back again, you would at least have a neat hiding place.

Most people just try using the mirror to check on their appearance throughout the day. Oddly enough, however, the mirror doesn't show ones reflection. Always being shown in the mirror is a scene of handsome chandeliers, elegant landscape oil paintings, and golden draperies, which is not at all what the wall of the corridor behind you looks like. This is, of course, one of Hogwarts' many mysteries. The location of the room that the mirror is showing is unknown to everyone today. But every now and then, a dark figure can be spotted in the background before disappearing again.
Old 05-08-2022, 10:31 PM   #2 (permalink)
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“Show me your secret.”

Aria tried being commanding should the mirror suddenly decide this was the tone it wanted to be spoken to in. She squinted at the reflection, nothing more than a reflex since she was pretty much standing close to the mirror already. Naturally, there wasn’t a pretty South Korean Slytherin fifth year girl. She shook her fist when the scenery stubbornly remained the same. “Okay, fine. No need to show me the technical stuff, just change the image? It doesn’t even have to be me in the reflection!’’

The girl stuck her fists on her hips and glared {even though she wasn’t angry}. “Why are you like this, Mirror?”
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Old 05-09-2022, 02:47 PM   #3 (permalink)



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“Show me your secret.”

Aria tried being commanding should the mirror suddenly decide this was the tone it wanted to be spoken to in. She squinted at the reflection, nothing more than a reflex since she was pretty much standing close to the mirror already. Naturally, there wasn’t a pretty South Korean Slytherin fifth year girl. She shook her fist when the scenery stubbornly remained the same. “Okay, fine. No need to show me the technical stuff, just change the image? It doesn’t even have to be me in the reflection!’’

The girl stuck her fists on her hips and glared {even though she wasn’t angry}. “Why are you like this, Mirror?”
With her nose stuck in her edition of Hogwarts a history and with a bubblegum stuck in her mouth that she occassionally blew out into large bubbles Maria followed the sound of a voice. Coming into a room with a mirror on the fourth floor she snapped her book shot at the sight of Aria glaring at a large gilded mirror on the wall with her hands on her hips. "Is that the mirror that is supposed to speak back to you? Or is that the mirror that is supposed to show you other sceneries?" Maria wondered curiously out loud as she walked up alongside Aria.

Hogwarts had many odd rooms and stuff. "Hey Aria!" she beamed before blowing out her bubble gum again, but this time the bubble bursted almost immediatley over her nose. Brushing the gum away with her hand from her nose she inspected the mirror closer.
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Old 05-13-2022, 12:33 AM   #4 (permalink)
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SPOILER!!: Maria & her bubble gum! <3
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With her nose stuck in her edition of Hogwarts a history and with a bubblegum stuck in her mouth that she occassionally blew out into large bubbles Maria followed the sound of a voice. Coming into a room with a mirror on the fourth floor she snapped her book shot at the sight of Aria glaring at a large gilded mirror on the wall with her hands on her hips. "Is that the mirror that is supposed to speak back to you? Or is that the mirror that is supposed to show you other sceneries?" Maria wondered curiously out loud as she walked up alongside Aria.

Hogwarts had many odd rooms and stuff. "Hey Aria!" she beamed before blowing out her bubble gum again, but this time the bubble bursted almost immediatley over her nose. Brushing the gum away with her hand from her nose she inspected the mirror closer.


Aria stared hard at the Mirror. She expected she had not been the first and would certainly not be the last to be curious about the secrets which the object kept so stubbornly to itself. The sudden sound of a voice filling the space around her had the Slytherin starting a tad. A hurried look to her side told her that Maria had joined her. With a book.

“I WISH it would speak! Have you ever looked into it? If not… look.” The older girl pointed at the reflection. “What do you see? And HELLO back to you! No time for gu-” Aria sniggered rather heartily when the bubble popped on Maria’s nose. “Cute,’’ she remarked. If one could call it cute when you’ve got bubble gum stuck to your skin.
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Old 05-26-2022, 01:27 PM   #5 (permalink)



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Aria stared hard at the Mirror. She expected she had not been the first and would certainly not be the last to be curious about the secrets which the object kept so stubbornly to itself. The sudden sound of a voice filling the space around her had the Slytherin starting a tad. A hurried look to her side told her that Maria had joined her. With a book.

“I WISH it would speak! Have you ever looked into it? If not… look.” The older girl pointed at the reflection. “What do you see? And HELLO back to you! No time for gu-” Aria sniggered rather heartily when the bubble popped on Maria’s nose. “Cute,’’ she remarked. If one could call it cute when you’ve got bubble gum stuck to your skin.
Had her apperance in the room startled Aria? Maria felt secretly and inwardly proud since the older girl usually seemed unfaced by most things. Turning her black eyed gaze to the mirror in question to really look at it Maria admitted. "I haven't been to that many rooms yet. So, nope I haven't looked into this mirror on any of my exploration tours around the school. It was cool to see the slugs down in the pit though." If only she could adopt one?

Still feeling like she had bubble gum stuck to her nose, Maria did her best to brush the last off. Staring into the mirror she stated to Aria. "I see a landscape and a dark figure of some sort...Why can't i see my reflection?"
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Old 06-29-2022, 01:20 AM   #6 (permalink)
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Lisa had been on her way to the library when she decided to venture further down the fourth floor corridor until she happened upon the Mirror. It was beautiful and ornate. As she stared further into the mirror, she found not a reflection of herself but a beautiful room with dazzling chandeliers, tapestries, and paintings. It was elegant.

Fixing her posture, she held her chin up higher and curtsied to the empty room reflected in the mirror. "Imagine dancing over there..." she muttered, trying to move her arms and legs to be as graceful as what Marley had done earlier. She had the posture and had somewhat of a beat but stopped herself when she could have sworn she saw something move in the mirror.

"Who's there?" she asked the mirror, taking a step closer to gently trace her fingertips over the glass. Was it a portal to another world? She could escape here?
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Old 06-30-2022, 01:25 AM   #7 (permalink)

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His eyes needed a break and he was pretty sure that he was on the verge of giving himself a migraine thanks to all the close up nose pressed against the subject work he had been doing as of late. Whether it was OWL studying, tinkering, or working on some decorations (with Flamsteed flair, of course) for the dance...Atlas' eyes were feeling the strain and he had half a mind to do something about it with some elixir or another and an eyedropper.

As it were, however, he instead was just talking a walk. It was something mum insisted on all the time when any of them were hyper focusing on anything. Dad usually got stiff shoulders and all creaky, so the fifth year would do well to avoid becoming like that. His own thoughts and avoidances consuming him, he was not entirely aware of where all he was walking or who was around - a luxury he enjoyed experiencing nowadays - and frozen when his presence was suddenly called into question. Or...so he assumed.

"....uh...just me, Lisa." Because he could obviously recognize her in the mirror, his own robes just so slightly in frame while the rest of him was not.
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Old 06-30-2022, 01:55 AM   #8 (permalink)
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Lisa could easily dance over there. Open, beautifully ornate space. It looked as if it were made for her.

She narrowed her eyes, trying to focus on the figure. Alas, they were not found. A familiar voice; however, brought her back.

Pink dusted her cheeks as she turned her head to glance over her shoulder. An easy smile found it’s way across her lips. “Atlas, hi… Sorry. I thought I saw something move in the Mirror…. when you look at it… what do you see?” she asked.
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He felt like he was interrupting something (it had been her arm movements and all the longing gazing into the nonfunctioning mirror) but whatever unease he may have felt on the matter went right out the window when she turned around and he saw the color to her cheeks. He liked that he had that effect on her...even if it was kind of confusing at times. At least during their beach date he had been able to pass it off as the sun and warm summer temperatures when he had felt all wiggly and flustered by it. Right now, however, he was neither of those two. He wasn't even feeling particularly petty or bitter either. Selective memory...ish.

"Forgot this mirror doesn't function like a mirror," he mused while rubbing the back of his neck and coming into frame of the mirror properly to stand beside her. "I see a room that looks like jumped right out of pages of the fairy tale books you lent me..." His answer came easy, as did his knocking upon the glass with his fist. "...an enchanted castle within an enchanted castle."
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Old 07-01-2022, 01:09 AM   #10 (permalink)
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As did I..” Lisa rarely spent time on this floor unless she was headed to the Library or Hospital Wing. She watched Atlas move closer to her until they were standing next to each other and both looking into the mirror. The blush slowly faded away as she took another inhale as she listened to him. “It does…” The warm, special smile appeared. She was chuffed. “ Or like how I’ve read Versailles would look… I’ve never been but I want to go… one day,” she paused, losing herself in her own thoughts momentarily before he knocked on the glass.

Lisa gently tapped the glass after his knock and turned her gaze to the ornate room reflected in front of them. “I wish I could go there and explore the other side? What if this were a portal to an alternate universe? What would people think of us?” Her imagination and hypothesis’ kept flowing. It was her safe space away from her emotions and reality. “Sometimes I wish I could escape and be a lost boy or girl. It’s perhaps… a little silly… I suppose.

Biting her lip momentarily, she turned her gaze back to Atlas. “Potential real.. potential hypothetical question… Do you ever feel… alone when you’re not alone?
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He really ought to find another book to exchange with her. It had been a while since he had...partly out of spite and mostly because his thoughts had been consumed by other tasks. Fifth year was a lot, and that was not even taking the task of suppressing teenage hormones into consideration. "Or like the inside of Beauxbatons." Her mention of Versailles made him remember the other wizarding school - he tended to only really remember Durmstrang because of Andrei. "Like you don't need floo powder to get there." Which, well, as hyper active as his own imagination was...he also knew that magic had its limitations and one could not just so simply and effortlessly leap from country to country like that.

He was actually quite glad he could not see his own reflection in this mirror, but that and its accompanying thoughts were things not suited for this conversation. So...anyway.

"You know, there are scientific theories that support the idea of multiverses. It's easy to get dad in a spin about it all. One moment he will be all in favor for their possibilities but then you ask the right question and he starts debunking what he just argued...but then you can get him to debunk those rebuttals as well." It was quite fun and had been an excellent distraction while he slipped peas off his plate and to the floor for the cat to eat. Sometimes brussels sprouts too. They were lucky that some of mum's cats liked steamed vegetables. "I mean...there is speculation that the universe is at least 7 billion light-years across in diameter...while others will say it is infinite. There is a whole pantheon of multiverse theories out there." Which...were fun to explore and consider. And, well, after the war...it was nice thinking of some version of himself that existed elsewhere that had not had to live through such hell. "Which...well...a multiverse isn't the same thing as a parallel universe...but anyway." None of that really answered her specific questions, but he supposed it did fuel some of her quarries which was sometimes better than having an absolute answer. Sometimes.

OOF. Her question...hit hard. Hard enough that he couldn't help but slip his hands into his trouser pockets and sort of hang his head for a second. Not in the business of being too transparent with anyone that was not named Aries Flamsteed, he chuckled and twisted his head a bit to look at her. "You know you don't have to try and hide under a hypothetical umbrella with me," he began softly, calling a spade a spade was something he felt he did pretty well. Though he tried to be more gentle with her about it. "But...um..." Wetting his lips, Atlas looked back at the room seemingly trapped in time within the mirror before them...and pressed his palm firmly to it. Maybe it would be nice to just...fall into some other dimension for a bit. Sometimes. Maybe. Anyway. "...all the time...all...the time..."

A square peg. Or a triangle.

Alone in a crowded room. Or...er...castle.
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Old 07-06-2022, 01:45 AM   #12 (permalink)
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Her eyebrows raised when he mentioned the inside of Beauxbatons and she cast her gaze back into the mirror. Fingers gliding just above the glass as her mind filled with exotic and adventurous ideas. “Just step through the portal and you’re there…” She paused, glancing down at her pink shoes before looking back at the mirror. “A true magic.

Lisa listened to Atlas explain the scientific theories on the multiverse and then the playful discussion between him and his father. “That sounds fun,” she spoke with a wide grin. She had often thought and read on the multiverses but hadn’t found a suitable partner to debate with. Evan would just sigh, Maya would lose interest, and Noah… He’d just put her head and go back to doing Healer things. “Im envious that you have someone who will debate those theories with you. My family will try but … they’re not passionate about the debates are… unfortunately… short.” Curiosity and expanding knowledge was her favourite activity which she longed to do. It was far more attractive than other things. “What do you prefer? Parallel universes, multiverses, or alternate universes?” she asked.

Lisa glanced at Atlas to catch him hanging his head and her heart stopped momentarily when he uttered that she didn’t need to hide under a hypothetical umbrella. “Okay, so it’s not hypothetical. It’s a 100% real and I’ve never told anyone how I truly feel because I’m scared of not being the excited, likable girl,” she blurted out before turning away and wrapping her arms around her midriff. “Sorry… that was emotional and a lot.” That was only the surface of the feelings that were inhabiting inside of her. She blinked her eyes rapidly and then looked at Atlas once more when he uttered a truth that she felt. Lisa was glad that she wasn’t alone in that sentiment.

Me too. I…. Even more so when I feel like I’ve messed things up… But it’s human to make a mess of things… No matter how hard I try to control it. Feelings are stupid and ruin everything,” she said with a wavering voice before covering her mouth. “Sorry.” She wiped her eyes and took a deep breath, trying to calm herself.
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His own brow arched...but not because of any sort of wonderment. Rather it was an amused curiosity. "A true magic?" he repeated, mouth twitched into a slight smirk. "I'm curious what you call what we learn and practice here." What were the categories of magic as told by Lisa Nam, hmm?

It was fun to debate dad and get him all kinds of riled up, especially on the 'great debate' regarding the validity of astrology. Atlas really could care less about the particular field, but he enjoyed learned about it so he had the fuel to poke the dragon - sleeping and awake. It was such an easy way to send the man into the stratosphere. "Dad is all about scientific exploration and expansion...he also likes to have the final word in everything." The irony of this statement was lost here, for the record. "So it's really easy to get debates and discussion going." Her follow up question was an intriguing one, though he was not sure how exactly to answer that. "In what...manner do you mean? Like...if I were to leave this world and go live somewhere else or...just explore...or do you mean conceptually which one is the more appealing?" His answer would vary greatly depending...probably.

Her body language and words signaled yet again to him that something about him was...different. He did not feel as though what she had just expressed had been a lot and his version of emotional was more...explosive. Charge out of class and hide in the bathroom until one had practically dehydrated themselves from crying kind of explosive. Right now...Lisa felt composed. Perhaps too much so. But he kept these observations to himself right now, especially since he found himself rather agitated by her words. Enough so that his fingers began to curl up into his palm, forming little fists that he quickly shoved into his pockets so as not to show as much of it outwardly. Her version of alone...and his...were so different. So different...and he found himself struggling to feel empathetic towards someone who was adored by so many when he could count those who tolerated him on one hand.

"When...you say you're scared...do you mean...you don't let yourself be your authentic self around people? You feel...like you have to constantly fulfil that role and maintain that persona...rather than ... grow?" He really wasn't following entirely, though this perspective made sense to him. He tried to maintain a certain composure about what she said next...but he felt a certain discomfort bubbling up inside. She likely still did not know she had messed up with him...she hadn't been observant enough. But it had hurt. STUNG. Yeah, her sister had absolutely terrified him and backed him into a corner to go on that date over the summer...but he had committed to it. Then, one of the first things she does when they are all back at Hogwarts...is host a party that excluded him but included, essentially, all his friends. They were a finite number, his friends group, but still true. He was pretty sure that Maya did not even give much regard towards him anymore either. So...if she wanted to talk about feeling alone, well.... anyway. "It...kind of sounds like...you aren't really taking ownership of the mistake you're alluding to here...it's all kind of passive..." He had no doubt whatever was plagueing her was not related one on the forefront of his mind and likely something to do with her yearmates. "Yeah, they happen, but just writing them of as that is kind of dismissive...also adding 'feel' to something isn't really an acknowledgement." All of that was likely not that helpful and more of a...calling out, perhaps. He did not mean it to. "Sounds maybe a little more like avoiding rather than trying to control anything...and when you try to please everyone...you are bound to disappoint everyone, especially yourself. And...well...it sounds sort of like you feel like people see you but don't... see you. Maybe." He paused and took a breath to try and calm this...whatever it was inside his chest enough so that he could peel his fingers out of his palm. "Or...something."
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Old 07-08-2022, 12:22 AM   #14 (permalink)
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She glanced down at her shoes and then back at him as she thought on her response. “A true magic in the sense of escapism and wonder. We have magic we know but I believe there’s also magic in imagination… the ability to disappear to another reality or… perchance… dream… is magical,” she explained and then paused. The word perchance to dream…. It reminded her of her favourite monologue in a play. Anyway… back to her thoughts… “Like you know when you read a good book and get swept up into the plot line. You can’t put the book down and you’re glued to it so much so that you start imagining yourself in the plot line. The descriptions… you can feel them, smell them, and touch them. In fact, I feel like I have this power in that imagination world where you can alter reality… influence a different outcome… practice conversations.

Eyebrows raised at Atlas’ mention that his father liked to have the last word. That must have been… frustrating at times. “So it’s harder to end debates on a mutual understanding?” she asked with a tilt of her head. She wasn’t sure if she was following him but assumed that by his father having the last word… she wondered if that was, at times, hard to disagree with.

Lisa was combatting the urge to show her emotions. Ever since her siblings returned home from the dreaded term with the cult, she had put on a show from them. A happy and peppy persona that would make everyone happy. In reality, she was finding it exhausting because she constantly turned herself inside out. She didn’t show these thoughts but they often plagued her in her mind. Even though she showed an air of confidence, she constantly compared herself to her friends in looks and smarts. She balled her hands into tight fists at her side, willing herself to continue on.

His words caused her to unfurl her fists and drop them limply against her. She nodded wordlessly at first. “Yes.. I feel like… I have to make people happy… It started… when my siblings came back from a term at Hogwarts. The term before I started. It must have been your first year. My eldest brother’s being and state of mind still haunts me. He looked like a skeleton. Maya and Evan also looked upset… so… I… felt like I had to cheer them up cause that’s what they did for me.. and it… it’s stuck with me ever since…” What was her role in her family? Her friend group? She wasn’t sure. Was this what growing up was about? Changing physically through puberty but also re-evaluating every action that you had taken?

Lisa remained quiet as she listened to him, nodding occasionally. His words stung a little but she felt there was authenticity there which she didn’t wish to acknowledge. Maybe with Serena… she had messed up? Well… she hadn’t returned her feelings so was that messing up per sey? And with V… V’s words of ‘you always do this’ left her numb and confused. Was it existing that did that? And yet still she was oblivious to the fact that she had hurt Atlas more significantly than anyone else. She hadn’t intended too.

I didn’t mean for it to come off as dismissive…” she said, still wincing at his words. She grabbed her own elbow, squeezing it a little. “Maybe it is my fault for not returning her feelings… and my fault for being jealous...

Disappointment.

She felt like a horrible friend in this moment and was trying her best not to burst into tears at the sudden overwhelming need to.

Merlin.

She had certainly disappointed Serena when she told her that she didn’t share her feelings. Disappointed V when she asked Daniel to the dance. “I guess I have disappointed people through my actions… It is my fault… Have I… disappointed you?
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Old 07-09-2022, 02:37 PM   #15 (permalink)

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Here was the thing...Atlas drew a hard line between tangible magic and this magic she spoke of. He wouldn't call it magic, though he wasn't sure what other word he would use in its place...but he couldn't quite bring himself to speak of magic in such a metaphorical sense. "I...suppose I don't consider having a vivid imagination and magic to be synonymous," he said with a slightly defeated shrug. "Though I suppose some of what you said has blurred lines when applied to a Daydream Charm." The likes of he was not-so-well-known to use during certain subjects in order to simply survive them. "If anything...I'd assign imagination with power. Nothing comes to be without it. What you sound like you are saying is...more a metaphor for the power of the mind." He paused a moment to consider a bit, weigh something that had felt heavy in his mind for a while now but he had not the words to really express it. He wasn't sure he wanted to do so now either.

Distracted, he did not respond right away to her follow up to the not-as-serious as she seemed to be taking it discussion regarding his dad and debates. "Do all debates really have to end?" Mutual understanding could not come without respect...and Atlas liked to push buttons for subjects that dad had no respect for. It was more fun that way.

His entire posture shifted when she mentioned that term and how she spoke about it. How...she had no idea of his relation to it and had glazed over it so...casually. It...made him feel a little more crestfallen and as though he had once again expected far too much from others. Misunderstood...a lot of things. "...it was my first year," he said gravely, his fingers pushing more into his palms and hands tensing to an almost painful degree. "...they had my dad...he was their prisoner. Had been...for a year already...and we didn't know...Aries and I were threatened after the start-of-term feast...obey or they would kill him..." He was doing his best to listen, to not disregard what she was saying and turn his attention to his own dark past, and he found that it made sense...her reasons and how she had fallen into this personality trait. Lisa...had a fear of bad things. Of not being liked. Of there being sadness around her. It was...a little like Aries in some ways, he felt. Atlas had absorbed a lot of the darkness that term, sometimes doing so simply so that Aries could be spared at least a little pain. Maybe that made him the opposite of Lisa. Kind of. "It's not...wrong to want to cheer people up, Lisa," says softly, wanting to encourage her empathy and not discourage it. "It's admirable...but not if its at your expense. You are not responsible for other people's happiness...and sometimes all someone wants is for you to listen and feel your support in quiet ways and not a cheerful band aid."

He felt...pressured when people tried to cheer him up, sometimes. Like his feelings were not valid and he just needed to get up and move on quickly even if that meant he did not deal with the cause and effect that had him feeling the way he was in the first place. 'Good vibes' only was...a super toxic mentality.

His annoyance had softened, but it shot riiiiiiiiight back up to the tipping point when she explained a bit more why she was feeling the way she was. What...she was constituting as a mistake. "...you made a mistake...by not reciprocating..." he repeated, firmly, and not even bothering to mask his disapproval at these words. "...so what? It would have been better for you to lie and attempt to force yourself to?" That was rhetorical, for the record. "Lisa, you have got to cut this self sacrificing quirk out...or at least...get a better grip on it. You're...you're oiling everyone else's squeaky gears and leaving none for yourself...and then feeling guilty about wanting to use some of it on yourself when you're running on fumes. And then...compiled on to that...feels like this...fear of being disliked. I mean...I get it...being liked...means you feel like you belong..." He trailed off, eyes shifting back to the floor and feeling...particularly vulnerable himself. "Jealousy too...is normal...all feelings are normal, valid, and jealousy is...a signal that we feel fearful of losing someone or a relationship that is very important to us..."

He was reminded VERY much of an argument he had had semi recently in which his own Hungarian Horntail sized jealousy had tried to burn things to ash. He...supposed...if he really acknowledged it...that jealousy had become a deeply imbedded part of his personality...ever since first year.

Rubs his nose, trying to reign his own thoughts in (and he didn't even know about this Daniel business...which was NOT going to help matters...at all) and looks at her when she asks that. This...urge to blurt out something cruelly sarcastic RIGHT there. It took...a lot of restraint to not to, but he managed. "...if you haven't noticed...does it really matter?" he asked in return, deflective and somewhat defeated.

A friend...he felt...would notice.
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Old 07-10-2022, 06:42 PM   #16 (permalink)
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She remained quiet, listening to his perspective as he spoke. Her eyes widened at the mention of the Daydream charm. Yes! Like the Daydream charm; however, that only lasted thirty minutes or so... or at least the ones purchased at the W store in Diagon Alley were. Imagination with power... The power of mind... "The power of mind.." she repeated, pausing to organize her thoughts. A place where she was truly in control or perhaps felt like she was in control of herself and her emotions. "Suppose it's a need to feel as if I'm in control of things... but I can't control everything. It's exhausting..."

"Yes, they do," she joked. There was truth in that. Her younger self took much glee in winning a debate, duel, or argument. The need to be the best was something that she always aspired to be. Call it younger sibling syndrome or what not.. But she knew through reading that there were topics that couldn't be compromised or agreed on. "Or more like I'd like to win debates against siblings or at least attempt to." Evan was always the hardest to debate with because he just... was either too good or didn't want to debate. "I find it nice and neat to have a resolution but some things don't have an answer.." Lisa shrugged. As much she hated to admit it, she supposed Holden's opinionated homework exercises did have a place in expanding her perspective.

While she may not be incredibly observant, she did notice the posture shift in him. She grew silent, her lips parting, when he mentioned what he had endured during that year. Guilt rushed through her being. She felt like she should have known that... The fear of never seeing your loved ones. Her siblings hadn't spoken to her about the events that transpired - only had she found out during her first year of everything that had happened. "Atlas... I... That's horrible. I... can't imagine..." She couldn't find other words to describe her sheer horror. She... She wouldn't have been able to return to the school if she had been in his shoes. Being threatened to obey or have his father killed. She understood from their conversations that his family was very important to him. And here, she had just focused on her own experience and neglected how he may felt. "I.. that was insensitive of me to bring that up. I'm... sorry." She fell silent, lost in her own thoughts once more, as she tried to find something to say. She had no words for a good solid three minutes. "After all that...I think you're really strong coming back... I wouldn't have been able to."

And hearing Atlas impart this pearl of wisdom made her eyes widen once again. He was right. She knew he was right. It was hard to turn off the problem solving, peppy mode at times. She'd have to work on coming to terms with it. Lisa wasn't responsible for people's happiness. She couldn't control how others felt. She could only control how she felt. Lisa could hear the disapproval in his voice and, in that moment, she felt quite silly. She was better than this... Smarter than to let herself turn inside out to please others... By being honest about her feelings had hurt but... being honest about what she wanted was more important. She remained silent, noting his rhetorical question. She knew better. Lying would only make things worse. Her eyes followed his gaze to the floor and she found herself, glancing at her own feet as he spoke. It was comforting that someone else felt jealous too... Or at least he considered being jealous normal. It made her feel less alone in this moment.

If you hadn't noticed... does it really matter?

His deflective answer made her stomach drop. Something was wrong. "It does matter... because I consider you a friend... and I... I haven't been a good one to you... at all." She had done something but as to what - she wasn't sure. Lisa laced her fingers together, wringing them in front of her, as she racked her mind over what could have caused such disappointment... Was it being friends with Daniel? Their interactions after the date? The jealousy over Remy and him being so close? Her developing feelings for someone else? The.... Her bringing up his horrid first year and ignoring what may have happened to him and focusing on herself? "I've been so self-centred..."

Here she had been complaining about feelings while he had been a good friend and offered counsel. He was a far better friend than she had been. She was certain an apology was not enough. And this wasn't an apology just to apologise for the sake of having something to say when you shared bad news with someone and how "I'm so sorry" could come across as ingenuine.

"I'm sorry for being a rubbish friend, Atlas."
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Old 07-15-2022, 10:15 AM   #17 (permalink)

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Well...this had taken quite the turn and he had to wonder if this was her defense technique, painting things in a more sunshine and rainbows fashion rather than reveal a more vulnerable core. The fruity hard layers protecting the soft center of the jawbreaker. Imagination and the desire to control were two very different mind paths to waltz down, though he knew her to be very much down the path of imagination. This side, wanting to control, was new. Not one he couldn't relate to either but...well...another day. So he sort of just nodded in response to all that. "In dreams we create worlds that are entirely our own."

No, he would not be exchanging dream diaries any time soon.

"You mean....nice and neat with a bow on top of your design," he mused while giving her a little nudge with the elbow. She had just said how she wanted to be in control and now that she liked to win debates. He did too, a lot, but Magical Debate had lost its luster since the war...and since many members and peers replaced reason with passion and there was no debating with someone who had decided from the word 'go' that your stance was wrong. Not to mention...misinformation and assumptions and, well, he picked his partners carefully these days. He had to...as a matter of self preservation.

And speaking of self preservation, he was scratching at the corners of his being at the moment for some of that and a means to duck out of this conversation without losing it on her or otherwise spiral back into the boy he had only allowed Aries to see. Aries and...maybe a little Nemesis. Which was a whole thing in itself and a thought he would surely spin back to later. "You were explaining your reasons for your behavior, with your family..." he responded quite clinically, detaching himself. "...there was no place for an emotional response on my part." And really, he had no business making her story about him...so there was a genuine truth to that statement.

He wasn't convinced he was 'brave' for returning to Hogwarts after it all. Where else would he have gone? Durmstrang like so many on mom's side of the family? It just felt like...more blaming Hogwarts when people spoke to him that way. As if it was the school's fault when, well, magic begot magic. War touched everyone. It hadn't even been a thought to not come back...so he sort of just shrugged his shoulders, unable to accept that compliment. Maybe he was misjudging the situation.

He was...doing that a lot these days. So it seemed.

Like right now.

His chest twisted a bit more, wishing very much he had kept his mouth shut and unable to really look at Lisa right now. "You...you're apologizing...but you don't even know what you're apologizing for..." It was a half question as well as a half observation, making him feel embarrassed with himself as his shoulders slouched a bit more. This seemed to be the natural order of things, the natural selection of being a Hogwarts student with his place in the social hierarchy. He hadn't even realized just how much many of his words, thoughts, had been incredibly revealing and projections. "...it's...whatever, Lisa..." he lamented somewhat sarcastically, shoulders shrugging again before slacking even more. "...you've already got all your fourth year friends anyway. I'm fine on the periphery."
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