Ron the last boy scout?

“You’re pretty agile for a boy,” Casper the cat said as he walked across the top of the train following after Ron Weasley.

Ronald for his part was hoping that the sticky slime spell the twins had taught him would hold out. He also hoped that Fred and George were all right, and Ginny. The cat had told him they were under attack that was why Casper and his companion had boarded the train. They were part of a group, he went on to explain that the letter would clarify everything and added something about the O.L.B.. But Ron, unaccustomed to walking on the rooftop of moving trains, had not been paying too much attention.

Somehow or other Casper had slipped them into another universe and he was now slipping them back. During the course of their conversation on the train they had not been on Ron’s world but rather one almost identically like it. Ron had opened the train door twice and found that out. One minute he was looking in on a group of Death Eaters in the luggage compartment and when next he opened the door on a dinner car full of passengers dressed as if out of some 1930’s film. It had been quite disconcerting, especially when the maitre d’ had called him a stowaway and come running after him.

“What universe are we in, now?” Ron asked the wind whipping at his face. It didn’t really matter if he said it aloud, the cat could read his thoughts as well but he couldn’t help giving voice to his thoughts.

“Yours of course. A fat lot of good you’d do in mine when the Death Eaters are here. Harry’s in that car, but there are hostages over here. I guess it’s your choice now.”

“Is Harry all right?”

“He is. For now. If you don’t mind, my companion is going to get very upset if I’m not there. Especially if he needs to use special magic.” With those words the cat went bounding from one train car rooftop to another car rooftop, fighting against the wind as if it were nothing; as if the train where not moving and as if he couldn’t fall off a moving steam machine. All of these things Ron was only too aware of.

The red haired boy dropped down with a thump, staying crouched down hoping no one had heard him. Sadly, someone had. The door in front of him began to open, and someone pointed a wand at him.

“Try anything and — ,” before the girl could finish he had thrown himself at her.

Inside the closest compartment, Luke punched Draco in the face, and knocked the wand out of the girl’s hand.

“Gerrof me you,” she thrashed about complaining.

“Stupefy,” Luke said. He held back the temptation to kick her; she was a girl after all.

Ron stood up helped by the gray haired boy.

“Thanks. Are you all right?” he asked seeing Luke’s bloodstained hand.

“I am, but Neville’s … ” he pointed at the boy who was looking very pale and very sleepy, neither of them good signs.

“We need to get him some help.”

“How far are we from Hogwarts?” Luke asked.

“Not very close, otherwise they wouldn’t have dared attack. Why aren’t there any aurors here?” Ron thought aloud. “And why are they attacking the Hogwarts Express?”

No one had any answers.

“Are there any Death Eaters behind us?” Ron asked.

“No, she was supposed to take care of us, cover their exit you know. The others all went ahead. At least a good dozen of them.” Luke replied.

“You stay and watch Neville.” Ron ordered him.

“All right,” Luke said reluctantly. He wanted in on the fun, but his best mate was in serious need of help and he didn’t like the idea of leaving him with a bunch of Slytherins. He broke the girls wand in half and sat down with Neville wiping the sweat off his face as Ron tied the Death Eater’s hands with his tie. They weren’t set to learn binding spells until this fourth year.

How do you while away the time?

“Did I miss anything?” Casper asked stepping lightly into the hall of the car before the main engine.

“When I get, oh f — this,” the boy said, “Asharath,” he said the unearthly words and every Death Eater in the compartment was out cold.

“I applaud your control, but there are children present.” Casper replied in a tone that belied his seriousness.

“You were here to help me focus,” the boy threw back

“We’ll talk about this later.”

“Yes mother,” the dark skinned boy replied opening the door to the other train where the conductor waited wand in hand. “Expelliarmus,” the boy said before the old man could stop him. “I’m not one of them,” he remarked opening his cloak to reveal a gold pin in the shape of the Hogwarts crest with an otter in the center.

The conductor sighed in relief and sat down at his station.

“I’ll stay here and guard things, then,” Casper said.

“Just make sure you don’t send me somewhere else by mistake,” the boy remarked as he ran to the back of the train.

The cat turned to the man, and asked, “Do you have a deck of cards or a game of wizard’s chess, perhaps? We might be a while.”

♥ Love’s Funny ♥

“Ronald!” the frizzy haired girl screamed running to the boy grabbing him in a strong embrace. She started to cry.

“Hermione I’m all right,” he said patting her back. He was beginning to get the hang of the whole ‘soothing girl’s’ bit, at least that’s what he had been thinking when Hermione suddenly slapped him.

“What if you hadn’t of been?” she asked, holding him tightly again. “You stupid, stupid as. What if you’d been hurt?” she asked sobbing into his robes. “The last thing I’d ever have said to you were silly mean things, if you’d, if you’d … if you’d …”

Harry walked over. Ron rolled his eyes as if to say, “Girls, you know. They’re totally mental.” But if no one had been around just then the boys would’ve hugged, so glad were they to know each other safe.

Sorrow’s Beginning

Dean was standing against the train window, a wand at his throat.

“All I have to do is move it, and I give him a second smile.” (Cut his throat if you’re not up on gangster talk). The man threatened.

Seamus looked at him with that same disinterested look in his face, but Dean could see in the boy’s eyes a steadily rising rage. Before Dean could say anything to stop him, Seamus had taken out his wand and shoved it at the Death Eater.

“You think they just work for spells?” He asked as the man cringed where the boy had poked him in the eye.

“Seamus!” Dean said impressed, but the sandy haired boy had dropped his wand and rushed the man, slamming his fists into him, kicking him and hitting him with all his strength and all his pent up rage, cursing up a storm of steady obscenities. All Seamus’ anger and his hurt were pouring out of him. Dean saw the boy’s knee come up and he heard the man’s nose break. Seamus was merciless. But he was crying. The man fell to the floor and Seamus kicked him again and again and then went for his wand and Dean came up between them. Seamus had meant to stab him with it.

“Seamus, stop!” Dean screamed. “Stop!”

The Irish boy turned to look at Dean, his face contorted in pain, tears rolling down his soft cheeks. It wasn’t fair a friend of theirs was gone forever, someone close and dear. He couldn’t help but feel that someone should have to pay for that. Someone should have had to pay.

Dean held him as Seamus cried out his anger, howled his pain, and cursed the unfairness. Dean ran his fingers through the boy’s sandy hair soothing him. It was going to be all right it was going to be fine. He didn’t know how, he didn’t know why, but Dean knew he was going to make it be all right, somehow, for his best mate, for that boy who had been his friend since that first day at the train station.

The opposite side of the coin

“Every dark has its light,” the spectacled boy was saying as he bent down and smiled at the Death Eater. “You don’t want to meet my lesser half.”

The man disapparated before the boy’s eyes.

“I was afraid of that.” The blonde haired boy said.

“You couldn’t have shackled him then?” the small blue dragon at his side remarked.

“Shouldn’t you be invisible?” The boy threw back, as he pushed his glasses back up on his face, they were forever sliding down his nose. “Children are watching.” Sure enough, it seemed every first year in Hogwarts was staring from the doors of their compartment.

“Oh, f — ,” the dragon started.

“Not in front of the children,” the boy protested as the little dragon disappeared.

The door at the end of the train opened and the dark haired boy walked in looking up to find the blonde haired boy pointing his wand at him.

“Fancy meeting you here,” the boy in the glasses said, smiling guiltily.

“They’re gone, the f — ,” with every new obscenity, the blonde haired boy closed his eyes, sighed, tried to control his breathing by counting to one hundred. He hated working with Andy, he really did.

Chapter Seven & Three Quarters: In which the author pulls out heroes out of a hat … because he’s a magician like that. A sadly speedy conclusion

~

Pandemonium

News of the incident traveled fast. By the time the children had safely arrived at Hogwarts, in mad droves their parents stormed the gates of the school. You’ll remember you can’t apparate in the school grounds. (Hermione asked me to tell you all that).

Neville Longbottom was rushed to the infirmary, as were a few other students. Most were met in the Great Hall by their worried parents. There was a lot of crying and protestations, demands were made to take the children back to their homes that instant, but Dumbledore’s speech soon set things to right.

Warning them that there was no safer place for their children then Hogwarts, which they all had to agree with, tempers checked, and their worries unfounded, Dumbledore soon had reason restored and all of the parents decided their children were safer at the school and they had come to the conclusion that the ministry were a lot of fools who needed to be kept in check. It had not been Dumbledore’s intent to shift the blame but a mad crowd will see it’s own unreason. And why not? Government is a stupid beast, which is why you have to watch it so closely.

As night settled and everyone was fed, the parents too, the children were seen of to their beds and to their common rooms. Their parents had their fears assuaged again by the Headmaster.

By midnight, the castle lay quiet, Filch patrolling the castle and Hagrid and his dog Fang patrolling the school grounds. In all the serious hubbub no one had even thought to mention anything about the Triwizard Cup, but Rita Skeeter would soon take care of that.

Clearing out the otter’s office

Andrew and the cat were the first to walk in.

David was sitting in Ottery’s chair behind the boy’s desk, his tear-streamed face looking over documents and old photographs. Across from him, a curly haired girl turned around and stood up, suddenly.

“Who the hell are you?” Melissa asked surprised, but not unprepared, her wand in hand.

“Down cat,” Andy said and was met with a quick, sharp slap.

“I thought I was bad with women,” Herodotus (he’s the blonde haired boy with the glasses and the little blue dragon) remarked as he slipped his glasses further up his nose.

“What’s wrong with being called a cat?” Casper asked from where he was sitting on the desk facing her.

“It’s all right, Mel.” David replied, “They’re friends.”

“With friend’s like these … ” she started.

“That’s cliché by now, Mel.” David said smiling sadly. His sense of humor lay dead again but the ashes still held some embers sparked by the memories he was rummaging through.

Ron reads his letter…and we find out about the O.L.B.

Everyone was asleep. Despite the commotion and the battles on the train, the students had somehow managed to fall asleep, equally as tired as they were excited from all that they had witnessed and been a part of. When they arrived at Hogwarts and had been fussed over by their parents, and after they had eater their supper they all ran to their beds and crashed, tired and too weary to talk — though there were of course the few exceptions.

No one said anything when Luke took Neville’s bed by mistake. The gray haired boy had been exhausted and hadn’t bothered to change into pajamas but had just plopped down on Longbottom’s bed and was soundly snoring as his face hit the pillow. Neville would be spending the night in the infirmary along with Draco who had a broken nose, and the other injured students.

Harry did not feel as if he could sleep so Madame Pomfrey had given him a vial of sleeping draught, enough for all of Gryffindor Tower should the other boys need it. Seamus had curled up to sleep on the sofa in front of the fireplace and Dean who would not leave his side stayed with him. So, they had fallen asleep together on one of the large, soft couches, keeping each other peaceful company in their sleep. Leaving Ron alone, in his restless wakefulness. He had feigned dropping off to sleep, so as not to worry Harry, but listening to his friends’ soft snores, he sat up in bed and took the letter out of his trunk laying it on his lap.

It looked so frail, written as it was on crinkled soft paper just a little stronger than onionskin, and smelling of strawberries.

He smiled at that.

Ottery loved strawberries and the boy had thought his favorite cologne was too strong so he always scented his missives with strawberry scent, the silly, stupid boy.

But he was gone now and … the cat was right. Ron had best open the letter. It was just … it was going to be the last thing Ron would ever get from him. He would never again read new words, see Ottery’s face, or hear his voice (Ron meant to avoid Casper if it killed him).

The red haired boy sighed one last sigh and tore the seal. It was golden wax and had the Hogwarts crest with an otter on it. The letter read as follows:

Dearest Ronald,

I was going to send you a postcard, but it seems Azkaban doesn’t have a gift shop. Teddy is trying to light my leg on fire to see if they’ll open the cell and thus make our escape, excuse me a second. *Ottery gives Teddy a sound thrashing* Okay back to you. It’s dank, and dark and lonely … Teddy interjects: I heard that. Of course he would overhear, he’s reading over my shoulder as I write this.

Things are dreadfully dull around here. All anyone wears around here is dark blacks and grays with some occasional white thrown in to show you what clean looks like … and how little of it there is in your own cell. It’s perpetually cloudy so I can’t even see the blue of the sky anymore. But these things don’t matter to me, because I miss you most.

*Teddy smacks Ottery*

… and Hermione, and Harry, and everyone else too of course. I thought I’d warn you about that Luke chap. He’s a rogue, and a troublemaker. Yes, I know that’s what everyone says about me, but I’m cute. Luke, he’s a shark. Trust me on that.

Should I be here very much longer, or should I run into an old friend I put away, and I can’t, for whatever reason, come to your rescue. Call on my friends, wherever you are, if one of them is near they will come to help. It’s the O.L.B.

When I get back, I’ll see to it you and Harry … and I guess Hermione too — yes Teddy I know she’s a girl — join up. It’s been boys only but since you and Harry are so close to Hermione. Besides, I’ve been thinking of letting Ginny join, your sister really is a firecracker.

I miss you dreadfully … uhm, and everyone else too I’m sure, but you most.

Affectionately (this is where I’d kiss you I guess) your mate,
-Ottery St.

P.S.-I guess you’d need my friends’ number to call them (this is where I would laugh nervously). You know where my office is, the password is … well you know what it is. The key will be on my desk when you walk in, along with something else.

And just like that the last trace of Ottery St. Catchpole was gone from the earth forever. Ron felt a tear roll down his eye, in the silent night. It was a while before he slipped on his otter slippers, and walked quietly out of the room towards Ottery’s Hogwarts home.

One journey ends as another begins

Ron walked up to the darkest loneliest tower of the castle. It was the southernmost one, and it overlooked the mountains surrounding the school. The tower was always empty. Abandoned, or so everyone believed, but that was really Ottery’s secret home. Why the boy had his own house no one quite knew, but boy did Ottery know how to throw a party. It was supposed to be a secret that he lived there, outside of the Gryffindor Common Room but even the professors knew. How couldn’t they with the crazy things they did there after a quidditch match? To Ottery, it had never really mattered who won, a victory was an occasion for a party.

Ron walked across the courtyard cursing himself for not borrowing Harry’s invisibility cloak. It was cold, and at the very least it could afford him some warmth. Ron sighed as he stood in front of the tower (it was designed so that it had no door and thus was impenetrable). The red haired boy looked around to make sure no one was there to hear him. He blushed as he said the password.

“Ron is Ottery’s love bug,” he whispered.

The wall moved back creating an arch, a sunk in threshold, and an oak door, with gaslight lamps lighting the entrance on either side. He walked in quickly.

It was warm inside the tower. The walls were covered in gaudy pop art tapestries, and comic book pages, where they were not lined with bookshelves on which sat books of every shape and size, on every subject, amidst magical baubles and magical things.

They were very rare, but they were there too, hidden quietly in shadow sometimes, but always with brilliant brightly polished silver frames. They were pictures of Ottery and his friends past and present. Oddly enough, they were never there during the parties, but Ron had chanced to see them a couple of times. Ottery was always trying to hide them or make of them that they were nothing, but they were amongst the dearest things he owned, which is why he had so few.

Ron began his way up the stairways. They lead up to the top of the tower. All the while he looked over the books and baubles, when a silver framed picture caught his eye. He did not recognize it. Ron was shocked to find the photograph was black and white. He stopped, picking up the frame, and looking more closely he found a very young Ottery with two other boys. It must have been taken when he lived in America but the picture looked odd somehow.

Ottery looked very young. He was standing in the center of the picture, wearing overalls, he had his arms around a brown haired boy and a blonde haired boy both of whom were holding fishing tackle and very smelly fish from the looks and gestures they were making as they posed for the photograph. One minute they were posing for the shot, laughing for the photograph and the next they were running to get away from the smelly fish.

It would not have looked awkward to Ron, all of the boys dressed in the same blue jean overalls, their pants bottoms rolled up, standing barefoot by a river except — . It was not the way the fishing lines were made of tree limbs, or even the funny straw hats that gave them away, nor even the steamboat in the distance, even that would not have been a clue except for the people onboard the ship all being dressed like Ron’s great great grandmother, nor the boy and a black man paddling past in a raft; they were all of them dressed too much like they belonged in a museum.

There was the sound of loud voices. They distracted him and he took out his wand starting his ascent back to the top of the tower and to Ottery’s office. He would have to come back for the picture later. That mystery would have to wait for another day …

Arguments like fine wine…

“The name’s Casper,” the cat told the girl. “You must be Melissa.”

“How did you know?” The girl asked surprised a little. She did not lower her wand, which she pointed at the unkempt, dark haired boy. Would it kill him to tuck his shirt in, and why were his robes unbuttoned?

“Long curly brown hair, and a sassy disposition. Ottery always spoke fondly of you.” The cat replied, causing the girl to blush inadvertently at the remark.

David was surprised to find her speechless. It was quite a feat with Mel, but Casper was no slouch in the shutting-people-up department. The cat and Teddy had a running rivalry to see who could silence the other. It had gone on and off again for years and it aggravated everyone so much that they were never allowed to talk to each other, each of them always wanted to have the final word.

“The blue dragon there is Ampersand and the blonde boy with the glasses is Herodotus.” The cat continued.

The dark haired boy cleared his throat, and the cat nodded, “So, what are you two — ”

“Hey!” the sloppy boy complained stomping his foot. Casper had not introduced him yet.

The door swung open and a red-haired Gryffindor walked in pointing his wand at all of them. “Don’t any of you move or I’ll … I’ll … I’ll blast everyone of you.”

“Oh Merlin!” Casper sighed, “Not another American cowboy?”

Andrew glared at the cat before turning to answer the newcomer, “Just who are you, the Wyatt Earp of wizards? You think you can draw and immobilize us all faster than one of us can get you? I say we rush him.”

Ron stood his ground.

“It’s all right,” David said. “That’s Ronald Weasley.”

“And just who are you?” Ron asked. Out of the group he recognized only the cat.

“No time for that,” came a familiar voice from around Ron’s ankles, there was a puff of smoke from a Cuban cigar and Teddy walked into the room. “I know who killed Ottery.”

Why can’t more British heroes be American Cowboys? Or Teddy to the rescue, WTF??!!!!

“Speaking of American cowboys,” the cat said condescendingly.

“Stow it fur ball. I ain’t got time for you just yet,” Teddy replied chomping on his cigar contemplating if he shouldn’t tear his seam to take out the gun and put an end to their constant arguing once and for all. Then he really would have the final word.

“Teddy, what the devil are you doing here?” David asked.

“Mel, what the hell are you doing here?” Teddy asked in turn.

“No. I think the most important question is, what the hell are you all doing in my office? Oh, my god can’t a dead guy get some privacy?” A familiar voice came from behind the bear.

An extra guest at the party

Ron dropped his wand. Melissa and David both stood up. Herodotus sat down. Casper yawned from where he was sitting on the desk and laid down for a nap. Teddy went for a sword on the wall (well a stool actually he was too short to reach the sword on the wall). And Andy just looked perplexed, the boy had his mouth open to say something but he shut it just as quickly unsure exactly what to say. A process he repeated a few times finally just scratching his head in perplexion. Ampersand the dragon trudged out of the room.

“Dude, wtf?” Andy asked, breaking the silence.

“Language please. There are ladies present.” The dark haired boy said giving Andy a stern glare then turned surprised to see the curly, brown haired girl. “Mel, what are you doing here?” Ottery asked.

David ran from around the desk to hold him but slipped right past the boy.

“Ottery?” he said holding nothing, his back to the boy’s ghost.

“I … I’m really dead,” the dark haired boy said. “I thought they were just kidding.”

“Wow!” Andy said impressed at Ottery’s new status, still scratching his head in surprise.

“You can’t be dead. I’m going to kill you,” Teddy remarked sword in hand.

“What’s going on here?” Ron asked.

Ottery smiled at him. How he longed to … but this is ss but he sighed and took the seat behind his desk.

“Why don’t we all sit down. You can let me tell you all what’s going on.” The boy said.

“Splendid idea,” came the warm, low gravelly voice of Professor Dumbledore from the doorway. He apparated chairs for everyone and took the center seat across from Ottery, staring at him eye to eye. “Why don’t we start with you?”

Now I’m here … sort off … we can sort things out

“Fine! Let’s start by saying, this is all your fault you know!” Ottery’s ghost yelled at Dumbledore rather crossly, standing up and knocking things from the desk with the suddenness of his movement.

“Saint Peter wouldn’t let you in?” Mel asked taking a seat. In the same instant Teddy had questioned him, “How’s purgatory?” As the little bear put the sword back on the wall.

“No, Saint Peter wouldn’t ‘not let me in’. It wasn’t my time and I don’t know what Purgatory looks like I didn’t go there Teddy!” the dark haired boy shot back angrily.

“Perhaps a few explanations are in order,” Dumbledore began looking at David pityingly. Ottery turned to look at his shocked friend embarrassedly.

“Yeah, I guess so.” Ottery took his seat again his anger quelled at least for the moment and everyone started to talk at once.

“Hey, one at a time,” Ottery started. He wished he could pick up the black cat and use him as a gavel to call the meeting to order, but the whole being a ghost thing was still new to him.

“I thought you’d died all those years ago,” David said quietly, in an accusatory whisper, far stronger than any angry exclamation.

“I faked my death, David,” the boy answered him, ashamed.

“Obviously,” Melissa interrupted crossing her arms and glaring at the boy. She hadn’t seen him in days so for her it was easy to be cross at him. Ottery however, had not seen Melissa since the accident years ago in Rome, almost a half century ago.

“It was to protect you.” The boy went on. He didn’t think a confessional in front of all their friends was the best place to discuss things, but it hurt Ottery to see David that way. And how he’d missed his dearest friend. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you,” Ottery continued sadly, then turned surprised to the brown curly haired girl. “What are you doing here Mel?”

“Your spell backfired remember? I ended up here a few days ago and David rescued me. But how are you dead now?”

“You mean as opposed to before?” Teddy interjected. The boy glared at him and the bear, sent a puff of smoke towards him. “Archer Armstrong killed him,” Teddy continued. “But I know where the basilisk is hiding.”

“Well that’s swell, you guys have to avenge me,” Ottery remarked pleasantly.

“Sounds like fun,” Andy said, his hand on the pommel of his sword.

“But first things first don’t you think Ottery?” the voice of the Headmaster injected a sense of reason into the proceedings.

“You’re right. I’m not really dead. I’m just displaced. That’s the real reason Saint Peter wouldn’t let me into heaven, and why I didn’t go to purgatory,” Ottery replied glaring at Melissa and Teddy in turn. “I need to get my body back,” the boy finished.

“I’ll take care of that,” Herodotus volunteered standing up. “It should be in the little town you were born in, no?”

“Uhm, you can’t.” Teddy interjected rather more sedately than was normal for him.

The sleeping cat opened an eye and looked at the bear, a smile playing across his face. He began to swish his tail in delight.

“As much as being a ghost is fun Teddy,” Ottery began sarcastically. “And I’m sure you’d like to keep me that way. I want my body back.”

“We can’t get it!” The bear said flipping the cat off.

“I’m not going to stay a ghost forever Teddy just so you can get your hands on Lex’s fortune.”

“Someone took it, you git!” He screamed suddenly.

“What?” Everyone remarked but none more vocally than Ottery.

“What do you mean someone took it?” The boy asked standing up again.

“I mean someone took it for a Sunday drive. What the hell do you think I mean ‘someone took it’? Someone took it! It’s not in your grave anymore.” Teddy replied acidly.

“Took it where? For a Sunday drive?” Ottery asked.

“Teddy already said that,” Ron corrected softly so only Ottery could hear.

The boy turned to him. “Yeah, well being dead kind of throws you for a loop. Know what I mean?”

“I was chasing Archer, remember? I was playing possum and when I went after him … someone robbed your grave. I got back and it was empty.” Teddy explained.

“Well that sucks,” Andy remarked, but was met with so many stern glares he wished he hadn’t.

“Of all the annoying … What about the Martians?” Ottery asked suddenly.

“What Martians?” Everyone but Dumbledore asked. The headmaster simply looked at the boy pleasantly.

“The ones coming to take over the earth.”

“Oh, yeah, those ones,” Melissa said. “Plumb forgot, what with your recent death and the fact that I’m forty years out of my time. Did I mention I just only met almost everyone in this room?” The girl ended acidly.

“Yeah, sorry Mel, I haven’t forgotten you.” Ottery said.

“Pity you can’t say that about everyone,” David said under his breath. It hurt that Ottery could lie to him so easily.

“I need my body back.” Ottery complained. “Then I promise you can all take turns beating me in it.”

“So you’re not dead.” Ron asked.

“Well as long as I don’t have a body, yes, I’m as good as dead.” Ottery explained.

“Lucky for you. I’ve a mind to kick you’re a— ,” Teddy and Melissa said in unison.

Dumbledore cleared his throat to bring things back to order. There was a lot to be done.

Ottery wishes Ron would help him sort out his priorities

By the glow of the flickering gaslight the group of wizards, the witch, the cat and the bear sat quietly, looking at one another. As much because most of them had only just met, as because Ottery’s ghost was presiding over the meeting, and then there was Dumbledore sitting in their midst. Herodotus was fighting the urge to ask him for his autograph. Ottery had promised it to him a long time ago, but he had likely forgotten to get it, and somehow it didn’t seem right to ask Ottery about it now when he was dead and all.

“It seems we’ve got our work cut out for us.” Dumbledore interjected after the long pause.

“You’re right of course Wulfie,” Ottery said. “First of all Mel, no one says ‘plumb forgot’ no one says ‘plumb’ anything unless it’s ‘plumbing’ or the fruit. I mean this is the later 20th century here, you sound like something from the revival theater.”

“Well sweetie, as much as I’d love to be up on the lingo,” Melissa started annoyed.

“There you go again.” Ottery interrupted.

“I’m going to slap you three ways from Sunday when you get your body back.” She threatened.

“I’ve missed you.” Ottery said. “I’ve missed you all.”

“If you’re going to start crying I’m going to get Myrtle,” Teddy threatened.

“You're right Teddy. What’s important is I can’t be a ghost and save the world. I want my body back,” Ottery complained.

“Yeah, how else am I going to kick your a— ,” Melissa started and again Dumbledore cleared his throat.

“And how am I supposed to kill you?” Teddy asked.

David remained coldly silent where he stood watching Ottery from across the room. The dark haired boy could feel his friend’s gaze on him. He had so much to explain and so many apologies to make, but Ron looked so forlorn Ottery wanted to hug him right there but he couldn’t do anything as a ghost.

“Looks like a job for the OLB.” Herodotus said again crushing the unpleasant pause.

“I vote I be made acting leader, since Ottery is indisposed,” Casper added licking his paw.

“Hey!” Ottery complained. “I may be dead but I’m still right here.” He objected his feelings clearly hurt.

“What’s the O.L.B.?” Ron and Mel both asked at the same time.

“You’re looking at it sister,” Andy said flirting.

“I’m not your sister, cowboy,” she replied quickly.

“But I can be your cowboy if you’d like,” the boy added cheekily.

Ottery rolled his eyes before answering. “It’s a group of friends. My close friends.”

“And a few enemies,” Teddy added, taking a puff from his cigar.

“We started it after you disappeared Mel, partly to search for you and to help fight evil in the wizarding world. It’s membership is made up of people from all over the wizarding world.”

“Yes but what does O.L.B. stand for?” Mel asked.

“Ottery’s Love Brigade,” Dumbledore answered. The ghost of Ottery blushed.

“I move to change the name now that our dearly departed leader is … dearly departed,” Casper the cat threw in humorously. “In addition to my first motion to make me acting leader.”

“When I get back I’m going to kill you. See how you like it kitty.” Ottery complained crossing his arms. “This being a ghost really sucks.”

“Saving the world again?” Dumbledore said. “I’m sure it can wait until morning. I’ve got to let the students know we’re having a Triwizard Tournament.” The Headmaster added.

“What, with me dead? No fair I can’t enter.”

“What’s that?” Ron asked.

“Whatever it is, is it dangerous?” Andy asked, adventure flashing in his eyes.

“You can’t play,” Teddy replied. “Hogwarts, Durmstrang, & Beaubaxtons are the only schools playing.”

“How did you know that?” Ottery inquired.

“I was in France, I’ve got friends.” The little plush bear replied smirking.

“Dude this sucks,” Ottery complained yet again. “Nobody ever tells me anything.”

The Rescue or Ottery’s Legion of Superheroes

“Are you sure this is the place?” Ottery asked.

“I followed him all the way here, it’s not my fault he picked a nasty dingy rundown shutdown hotel to be his hideout, okay?” Teddy replied.

“Will you two just shut up so we can get this adventure over with,” Mel complained.

The boys glared at her.

“You know, this being the only girl in the O.L.B. really sucks.”

“Who said you were the only one?” Ottery replied cryptically.

“So, what? Are we going to sit around like idiots on this rooftop or do we apparate on that rooftop and start kicking some as?” Andy asked.

Ottery looked at his small army. David, Melissa, Teddy, Andy, Ampersand the dragon, Herodotus, and a very reluctant Casper the cat. He missed Ron being there, Ottery had fed him some stupid line about having to protect Harry from Martians that could drop down any minute but it could well be their last adventure, Ottery knew. The dark haired boy had asked them if they had wanted to risk their lives and they had all agreed though he did not understand why he had earned such loyalty. Somehow he thought perhaps it was misplaced, but it was there.

“Well the sooner we get this done the sooner we can get in the Triwizard Tournament, and I can get my body back and we can do something about those pesky Martians.” Ottery replied.

“Getting me back to the forties wouldn’t hurt either. I don’t think I want to be around for this rap stuff.”

“Tell me about it,” Ottery started complaining.

“So, what are we waiting for then?” Mel said.

“For right!” David said.

“Because it’s Right,” Andy continued.

“For justice,” Casper said the next part, stifling a yawn.

“Because it’s just us.” Teddy said puffing on his cigar.

“For Ottery,” Melissa said rolling her eyes. She couldn’t believe the idiot had actually put that in their creed.

“Because … because … Do I have to say it?” Herodotus asked, pushing his glasses back under which he was blushing. Ottery gave him a scathing glare, and the boy swallowed hard. “Because he likes cute red haired boys.”

“Dude, I love having a motto. Time to save the world again, kiddies,” Ottery said and with that Ottery’s Love Brigade apparated on the rooftop of the Hilton Hotel.

Epilogue

It was a bloody fight but they all came out alive, if worse for the wear, and while they captured Archer Armstrong they did not find Ottery’s body with him. It would be many adventures more before he got it back, and many years before Melissa returned home and the world became a safer place from Voldemort.

In the end everyone was happy. Ron married Hermione after a long courtship, Ginny and Harry running off and eloping. Ottery and David ran around the globe chasing after those wretched beetles and running errands for Dumbledore, and though you can’t ever say they lived happily ever after, because no one has a perfect life, with their love and friendship and Ron and Hermione’s dozen kids, and Harry and Ginny’s half dozen and Uncle Ottery and Uncle David coming around with truckloads of chocolate one could say they came pretty darn close. Even if the Martians never did come, like Ottery said they would. But you can’t always be right.

Fini

AN: Another invisible gets PWN'd First I would like to apologize to Shan-Shan for what I am about to do, which is dedicate this whole fic to her. I think she's one of the sweetest, nicest, loveliest people I've met on SS and on the planet, and she always tries to read all my work, which means so much to me, I won't even try to put it into words for fear of cheapening the sentiment. It means loads thats she's my friend, one of my closest. So this is for her.

*tacklepouncehugswithsmoochieskissessmoochiessmooc hiesandmorekissesplusabitofrupertandronandallthelo vethatmyheartcangiveandhugglesandhaveimentionedsmo ochies?*

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Forget what we're told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden that's bursting into life

All that I am
And all that I ever was
Is here in your perfect eyes, they're all I can see

I don't know where
Confused about how as well
Just know that these things will never change for us at all

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

You know that one of these days you and I are going to sing that as a duet at a karaoke bar, right? You with the pretty voice, me with the frog in his throat. *smoochiesglomps* Now you have to read it ... LOL just kidding. What I wanted to say was ... you had what up on your wall? I ... really don't know what to say ... except ... thank you. Oh and I'm still waiting for part 2 ... *taps foot on the floor* just so I know you're working on it ... you can't rush genius. *smoochiesglompslovesforeverwithRupertandloveandch ocolate*

This is going to be a stupid question, but what's OsC? *hides* It doesn't stand for OtterySt.Catchpole does it?
As for episode 2...well now you've just ruined the surprise. I was going to do it tonight...Karaoke! Hell yes! I'd love to sing that with you...I love that song, and I love you, and now I'm going to think of you everytime I hear that song...
And it's not what I HAD on my wall. It's what I HAVE and what I will have on my wall until the morning I leave and it makes its way into my suitcase. That was the sweetest thing anyone's ever done for me. Until you did this!
Anyhoo, it's dinner time and I've got a card to finish, so it is with a heavy heart I say farewell. For this moment, anyway! And you should be in bed, young sir...*kisses and huggles forever and always*
Love you endlessly, dearest one.
Shan-Shan
XoXo

Fancy meeting you here ... *smoochies and goes to bed*

Nothing my sweet Shan-Shan can ever say is stoopid. Except the word stupid ... I know it's like weird right? LOL *glomps* Yes OsC=Ottery "PWN'd by Shan-Shan" St. Catchpole.

So I'm sitting here eating dark chocolate mint leaves, listening to the SS/OsC theme song and reading the rest of this fic...actually, I just ate the last mint leaf, the SS/OsC theme song doesn't want to work on my computer and I'm a little sad for those two reasons...but I'm still reading! Almost done...I'm loving this so much and I can't believe I'm actually almost finished reading one of your fics! It's taken me years to do this! And I have Love's saved on my computer...it's sad when you can't even finish a story that you don't need to internet to access...I will finish it one day! But for now "It's the End of the World as we know it and I feel like more Chocolate...or Shan-Shan needs a life"