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evlpez · #1 (**permalink**) 01-05-2007, 04:44 PM

Christmas 2006, the Severus Snape Fan Club offered gifts to our fellow members in the way of custom made potions in either a graphic or a ficlet. Here are the ficlets our SSFC members made for their fellow SnitchSeekers.

Enjoy!

squibby · 01-05-2007, 07:57 PM

Written by: Slytherin Sissa

"A person's essence? When was the last time I had to make that? I hope the headmaster realizes I'm rusty. Anyway, to make a Yvonne I need some passion. Passion, passion. Oh yes."

Severus rummaged around in his private stores, pushing aside fury, sloth and degenerateness. All the way in the back, off to the left, was passion. He grabbed the bottle and put a few drops into the cauldron.

He read down the list, "Cleverness. What does this girl know about being clever? Probably got it from Potter. Insufferable..."

He went back to his stores to search for cleverness. In the hunt, he dropped his bottle of flaming glory and it ignited the bottom of his robes. At the same time, it began shouting 'vini, vidi, vici!' repeatedly. He stomped the small fire out, grabbed cleverness and added it to the cauldron.

He proceeded down the list and checked the final process.

"Tim? Who's a tim? Do I have any tim?" Severus rummaged again, rifling through boxes. "I have a tom, terrance, taylor, tortalius. Eek. Poor guy. Wait." He dug a little deeper. "I do have a tim."

He dropped the tim into the cauldron before looking up the last of the ingredients.

"Love? Love? Oh, I hate love. I'm going to have to pull that one out of my--"

"Severus!"

Severus turned around to come face to face with Professor Dumbledore.

"Headmaster. What brings you here?"

"I thought it wise to remind you not to curse over the brewing potion. It could affect it's outcome."

"Thank you, Headmaster but I should remind you, I am the Potions Master. I'm quite aware of what I'm doing."

"Alas Severus, am I not the wisest and greatest of all wizards?"

"Oh no, not this again..."

"Have I not defeated the mighty Grindewald and thwarted Lord Voldemort on numerous occasions?"

"Oh god, he's going to go on forever..."

"I have lived over one hundred years and have accomplished more--"

"Headmaster, could you? I'm in the middle of something. Yvonne's nearly complete. She has eyes already and the look she's giving me could melt stone. If she had arms, I'm sure she'd cross them."

"Very well, Severus. Very well. I'll leave you to it then." Dumbledore turned and exited Snape's office, leaving him to pick up where he left off.

"Now where was I? Oh yes, love. Ugh, that's right. I've got to have some around here somewhere."

Severus went back to his stores and began rummaging yet again. Behind the frog livers and to the right of the Acromatula intestines, on it's side, sat a very dusty bottle of love. Snape grabbed hold of it and drew it out. A solid inch of dust encased the bottle and Severus sneezed.

"I guess I don't use this very often. But perhaps I should. Maybe, with some love, the sub-arctic ice around my heart would melt causing me to feel compassion for the trials and tribulations of those around me." Snape thought on this for a moment. "No, no. I don't think so."

He walked back over to the cauldron and poured in the love.

"Stir three times," Severus stirred the potion three times, "and now *shudder* snuggle it throughout the night. Do I have to?"

"Yes!" yelled Yvonne's voice from within the cauldron.

Severus rolled his eyes eyes, picked up the cauldron and, holding it like you would a baby, snuggled his cheek up against the lip, cooing as he did.

"Is this ok?" he asked the essence of Yvonne.

"Absolutely! I got you to snuggle!"

Severus rolled his eyes again and continued to snuggle and coddle the potion throughout the night in order to have a fully functioning essence of Yvonne appear in the morning.

"Goody."

"Quiet you, or I'll bring Dumbledore back in here," Sissa reprimanded.

"Oh god, not that. I'm snuggling, see? Can you see? Snuggle, snuggle. Snuggle, snuggle."

"I want to see more cheek-snuggling. There'd better be some wear and tear on that skin of yours."

*Severus mumbled incoherant things*

"What was that?"

"Nothing. Snuggle."

squibby · 01-05-2007, 07:59 PM

Written by: SlytherinSissa

Snape grabbed the parchment and looked over the ingredients. "I need passion, chocolate and that muggle actor Gary Oldman in order to make an essence of Valera. Let's see. Well, I know I have passion. That's in my top right hand drawer of my desk. Considering my real passion is the Defense Against the Dark Arts position, I have to take some passion every day in order to endure this Potions Master schtick."

Severus walked over to his desk, opened his drawer and withdrew the vial of passion. He walked back over to the cauldron and added the ingredient.

Next to the cauldron sat a sizable amount of of Honeydukes solid chocolate. Snape broke off a piece and stuffed it in his mouth. It was a little too large and he had some difficulty reading the steps. "I eed some cholat. Wat," he said, swallowing some of the melting chocolate, "maybe I shouln be eatn it." He swallowed again and rid himself of the lump of calories. He hulked the remaining chocolate into the cauldron and it quickly began to melt.

"Now all I need is--"

The dungeon door slammed open and a very pale, very old man with rolling hills hair and spidery fingers glided into the room. "I am Dracul. Creatures of the night. What music they make," he said in a thick Romanian accent.

Severus blinked at him. "You're in the wrong movie, Gary."

"I--what?" He put his hands on his hips. "Are you serious?"

"Do I look like Keanu Reeves?"

Gary Oldman pulled off his wig, letting his dark brown hair show, and pulled the old man make-up off of his face. "You know, I had a feeling I should have donned the Azkaban gear. The castle confused me."

"Foiled by granite, I see?"

"So, who are we making today?"

"Essence of Valera. I have everything ready to go except you."

"Oh, she wants me? Cheeky. It still gets me going that at my age the girls still fancy me."

"Just get in the cauldron."

"Right." Gary Oldman walked over to the cauldron and climbed in.

Severus grabbed a giant wooden spoon and dipped it into the potion and began to stir. At first Gary resisted the chocolate, trying to swim the opposite way but eventually conceeded. It wasn't long before everything was mixed and Valera was standing before him.

"You know, Gary was hotter as the younger version of Dracula," Valera said, crossing her arms.

"I'll take your word for it but I wasn't expecting him to show up in fang."

"Gotcha. Well, thanks for brewing me!"

"I should have saved myself some chocolate."

"Well, I think there's still some in the cauldron."

"Chocolate-covered Gary Oldman. You know what? I think I'll go rig up a swing on the Whomping Willow."

squibby · 01-05-2007, 08:01 PM

Written by: SlytherinSissa

"Today we'll be mixing the Essence of Hedwig, otherwise known as Hedwig's Brew. Can anyone tell me the elements involved in such a potion?"

Hermione's hand shot into the air but Snape dulfully overlooked it. "No one? Looks like I'll have to choose. Weasley!"

Ron's head shot up from his last neck loll, having been jerked out of a semi-sleep. "Yes sir?' he asked squeakily.

"Well, well. Looks like someone wasn't paying attention. Ten points from Gryffindor. Now, tell me the ingredients in Hedwig's Brew."

"But sir, isn't that a NEWT-level potion?"

"Go back to your nap, Weasley. Your mind obviously works best when unconscious. Another ten points from Gryffindor."

"Sir, please. The Essence of Hedwig, or Hedwig's Brew, contains a drop of unpredictability, three tablespoons of Brangelina and three and a half teaspoons of internet addiction. Those three ingredients must be brought to a boil for five minutes and then allowed to cool. Once cool, it must be stored in a violet bottle."

"Looks like Miss Granger has a penchant for speaking out of turn and revels in being an insufferable little know-it-all. Tell me, where do we find such ingredients?"

Hermione frowned but her inner know-it-all pressed her to answer the question. "While they are unusual ingredients, they're not all that rare. Any regular apothecary would carry unpredictability and the other two can be found in larger stores, ones that carry a broad range of ingredients from all over the world."

Snape smirked. "Ten points from Gryffindor. Now get to work. You have an hour."

The students clamored up from their desks to gather their ingredients and light the fires needed under their cauldrons. Ron couldn't get his potion right and it ended up looking like river sludge. Harry's turned a shade of neon green so bright that it nearly blinded him and Draco succeeded in getting slapped in the face by the brew he created.

"Time's up. Vials in to me now and they had better be violet!"

The students cleaned up their work stations, emptied their potions into their violet vials and brought them up to the professor. Hermione was the last student to bring her vial up.

"Professor, before I had a chance to put it in the vial, the Essence of Hedwig said something to me."

"Is that so?"

"Yes. It said that unless you stop deducting points from Gryffindor, the next time you mix Hedwig's Brew, it'll be forced to wash your hair and exfoliate your face." Hermione fought back a smile as she watched the blood rise in Snape's face.

"You insolent child! Out of my classroom, now!"

Hermione's face dropped and she ran from the classroom, leaving Snape with a deskful of Hedwig's Brew that he swore he could hear chuckling at him. Even Ron's sludge seemed to gurgle at him.

"Oh shut up or I'll dump you down the toilet."

The laughing only got louder as Severus rolled his eyes and shook his head.

squibby · 01-05-2007, 08:04 PM

Written by: DracosDuchess

"Tricks of the Trade"

“Miss Granger, why are you not brewing your Essence of Touz potion? Are the instructions not clear enough for you?” Severus Snape drawled.

“I have no problem with the ingredients you have listed on the board. Bananas, shoestrings, and paint are indeed what compose this particular concoction. But you seem to have forgotten a critical instruction,” Hermione explained.

“My dear girl, I do not forget anything,” Snape replied in a harsh whisper.

“Well, according to our potion book, when brewing this potion, you are supposed to throw the ingredients in the trash, and never, ever, under any circumstances, make an Essence of Touz. I’ve already put my ingredients in the garbage,” Hermione pointed out.

Snape stood straight, turned, and walked to the front of the classroom. Once there, he turned back to face the class. “Fifty points from Gryffindor for no one bringing this to my attention sooner. May this be a lesson to you all to read your textbook and be prepared for any test I may put you up to.” He would not give the know-it-all Gryffindor the satisfaction in knowing that he was impressed she had noticed his little trick. “Happy Christmas,” he said with a smirk.

squibby · 01-05-2007, 08:05 PM

Written by: DracosDuchess

“Penguins and Opera”

“Essence of Penguin Master? What kind of name is that? Must be a friend of Potter’s,” Severus muttered as he ran his finger down the list of ingredients.

“Well, he can’t be all bad. His essence requires weird and green. And I do have a soft spot for music,” he trailed off as he reminisced about his latest outing to the opera. Snape returned to reality and from his supply cabinet, pulled out his bottle of green, vial of weird, and flask of music. Cradling the glassware, Snape made his way to his cauldron. Once the ingredients had been added, he glanced at the instructions and rolled his eyes.

“Fun? Yes, Potter’s friend indeed…” Snape growled as he pulled out his almost-empty bottle of fun and poured the rest into the cauldron and began to stir. It only took a moment before a boy emerged from the cauldron, wearing a green “Penguin Master” shirt. Snape scowled as the boy stood in front of him.

“Can I help you?” Severus spoke harshly.

“Yes. Could you tell me where to find Harry Potter? We have a game of chess to play!” the boy spoke enthusiastically, almost singing. Snape glowered.

“Out!” Snape shouted.

squibby · 01-05-2007, 08:06 PM

Written by: SlytherinSissa

As the darkness was rising, Severus tied his bandana around his head, covering his eyebrows. This was the only night he'd be able to prepare the Essence of Countess Vlad and he wanted it right on the first shot. He just didn't have the patience to wait another year for a new moon.

He set up his ingredients in a row, in order from first to last. He set his timer for one minute and thirty seconds, chiming every thirty seconds to change the ingredients. He stool still and silent, staring straight ahead, waiting for just the right moment, just the right time to start. He consulted the Astronomy professor and calculated the time the new moon would be highest in the sky. The time crept closer. Any moment now...

"Start your brewing!" the enchanted timer yelled and Severus lunged for the first ingredient, the cup of dark humor. He dumped the ingredient into the cauldron and threw the cup to the other side of the room, behind him no less. He still had twenty seconds until the next ingredient could be added so he readied himself.

Knees bent, running quickly in place, arms out as if to get ready to take action (think American football players' speed drills). He stared straight ahead, sweat dripping down his face.

"Go now!" yelled the timer.

Severus grabbed for the pinch of love with his thumb and forefinger but he couldn't get it all. There was still remnance left on the table! He took his pinky and swept the remaining love into his hand waiting just underneath the lip of the table and dumped it in.

"Argh!" he screamed, psyching himself up for the final ingredient, the stage blood.

"It's the last one! Do it now!"

Snape grabbed the bowl of blood packets and started popping them over the cauldron and emptying the contents into the potion. Pieces of plastic flew hither and thither, some landing on shelves, others on desks and on the floor. He swatted away one that caught a draft and tried to land in the potion.

"Countess Vlad doesn't call for plastic!" His eyes were bulging, his voice becoming hoarse.

He got back in his ready position and stared at the potion, waiting for it to boil. In no time, Countess Vlad was emerging from the cauldron.

"A sedative would do you good. And so would taking off that bandana. Canary yellow just isn't your color," said Countess Vlad.

Severus's eyelids flickered, his eyeballs rolled back into his head and he collapsed to the floor. He looked to still be breathing. Vlad shurgged her shoulders, stepped out of the cauldron, over Severus and out the door.

squibby · 01-05-2007, 08:07 PM

Written by: SlytherinSissa

"Severus, may I ask, what are you doing in Madam Sprout's gardens? Everything you need should be in the greenhouses."

"Headmaster, unfortunately Professor Sprout doesn't grow tulips in the greenhouses. I need them in order to make the Essence of Delicate Flower. Don't worry. Madam Sprout has enchanted the soil so once they're picked, they immediately grow back."

"Very well then. I'll leave you to it."

As Albus Dumbledore walked away, Severus finished picking the flowers he needed for the Essence of Delicate Flower. Peeves had already obtained the fuzziness for him. Originally Peeves brought Snape Mrs. Norris. Snape told him he needed fuzzy, not freaky and to find something else. It wasn't long before Peeves returned with a sack of fuzziness, great big swatches of it. He also needed a unicorn hair. He always kept a few in his private store for emergencies.

He was on his way back to the dungeons when he ran into Harry Potter. "Lovely bunch of flowers, sir. Are they for anyone special?" Harry smirked, desperately trying to fight back laughter.

"Ten points from Gryffindor, Potter. Maybe that will teach you to mind your own business."

Harry gave Snape a look of defeat as Snape rounded a corner and disappeared from sight. Once he got back into the classroom, he threw the bunch of tulips into the cauldron. A few of them bounced off the edges and onto the floor. He rolled his eyes and walked into his private stores to grab the unicorn hair. When he came back out, he picked up the dropped tulips and put them into the cauldron along with the unicorn hair. Then he looked over at the sack of fuzziness.

"I hope that's enough."

He walked over to it, took it by it's opening and dragged it closer to the cauldron. He wasn't able to lift it up high enough so he dragged it away from the table, gave it a few good swings and launched it, having it land right next to the cauldron. He emptied enough of the fuzziness by hand that soon he was able to lift it up and dump the rest in. He grabbed a wooden spoon and proceeded to mix the Essence of Delicate Flower. He turned the flame down under the cauldron to allow it to simmer and then he left it to cool.

While he was grading essays, the Essence of Delicate Flower finished it's cooling. Standing before Snape was Delicate Flower herself.

"Next time, don't let Peeves get the fuzziness. I think this was wool and it's making me itch."

He looked up from his pile of parchments. "Well, it was that or Mrs. Norris."

Delicate Flower thought on this for a moment but didn't dwell on it long. "I'll take the itching. Thanks." She smiled at him, turned and walked out of the dungeon.

"Perhaps I'll try Angora next time."

squibby · 01-05-2007, 08:08 PM

Written by: SlytherinSissa

"Excuse me, sir, but what do I have to make?"

"It would do you well to listen, Potter. It's the Essence of Melissa. Your directions are on the board. Now stop bothering me and get to work."

"And the ingredients--"

Severus cut off Harry's words with a swift point towards the table up front. On it sat passion, roses and love; all of the ingredients for the Essence of Melissa. He looked up at the instructions and added a hint of the passion, a spoonful of roses and topped it off with a few sprinkles of love.

Harry began to stir the mixture while reading the remainder of the directions. When he got to the part about the 'touch of Severus,' he froze. He stared wide-eyed at the blackboard. After a moment, he put his spoon down and walked up to Snape's desk. Snape didn't even look up until Harry addressed him.

"Excuse me, sir?"

"What is it, Potter?"

"Well, sir, the Essence of Melissa calls for, um," Harry swallowed hard, "a touch of, um, you for uh," he rolled his eyes, "added pleasure."

Snape smirked. "It hurts, doesn't it, Potter?"

"Yes sir. It does."

Snape reached into his desk and pulled out a small vial containing a small amount of gray, sludge-like liquid. Harry took it and looked at Snape with an air of confusion.

"Sir?"

"It's my essence, Potter. Use it."

Harry grimaced and held the vial at arm's length until he got back to his cauldron. He uncorked it, poured the touch of Severus in and continued to stir it over the heat of the flames.

"That's enough, Potter. Bottle your Essence of Melissa and hand your assignment to me."

Harry did just that, corking his vial just before handing it off to Snape.

"Now clean up your mess and get out of my dungeons."

Harry obliged again, eager to get out of the classroom as quickly as possible. When he walked out the door, Severus picked up the vial of Essence of Melissa and held it in his hand.

"Looks like Potter actually did something right. What an invigorating change."

squibby · 01-05-2007, 08:09 PM

Written by: SlytherinSissa

"Here are the ingredients, Weasley. Don't mess up."

Ron looked over the ingredients and the procedures and looked back up at Snape. "Sir, is this really a potion? It says I have to gift wrap it."

"That's what the Essence of Sophia calls for, Weasley. Just do it and stop asking questions."

"Yes sir."

Ron galnced over the directions again before grabbing the gallon of hypertonic and dumping it into the cauldron. He reached for the sugarbowl and took out what he considered a hint of sugar and added it to the potion. He mixed the two ingredients and let them sit while he grabbed the brilliantly sparkly orange wrapping paper from another table. With a perplexed look, he unrolled some of the wrapping paper and spread it over the table top. He still had no idea how he was going to wrap liquid.

Squinting as if the sun were in his eyes, or shielding himself from what could be a horrible sight, he poured the hypertonic/sugar mixture into the center of the paper. He expected it to splatter everywhere and was taken aback when it didn't. As he poured it, it formed a cube of liquid set perfectly and ready to be wrapped. He grabbed the roll of Spellotape and taped the wrapping paper around the solid liquid.

He now had a nice package that jiggled if he hit the table. He looked up at Snape who seemed to be engrossed in his work at his desk.

"Run!"

Ron's eyes snapped back to the package. The Essence of Sophia was talking to him. "What?"

"It's the last step! Take me and run!" When Ron didn't move, the Essence of Sophia screamed, "Now!"

Ron threw his bag over his shoulder, grabbed the nicely wrapped Essence of Sophia and ran out of the classroom door without saying anything to Snape. He didn't even look up at Ron bolted.

"For a moment there I thought Weasley wasn't going to follow directions again. Eh, ten points from Gryffindor for not living up to my expectations."

squibby · 01-05-2007, 08:11 PM

Written by: DracosDuchess

“Slytherin Happiness”

“I can’t believe Dumbledore thinks making these potions will increase student morale,” Snape grumbled as he cleaned out his cauldron for the fiftieth time that day. “Whoever heard of giving the students gifts for Christmas?”

Snape picked up the piece of parchment which listed the ingredients for Essence of Sierra and immediately conjured up the image of a young girl, eager to learn and prove herself as the best. He was glad she had been sorted into Slytherin, as she brought a little pride to the house.

“Hmm…I need knowledge and sarcasm,” he mumbled to himself as he picked up the bottles and poured the contents into the cauldron. “And… Oh, for Merlin’s sake, Sierra, you had ruin your Essence potion with happiness.” Regretfully, Snape emptied the bottle of the swirling silver liquid happiness. After mixing the concoction together, he poured the liquid into a glass bottle and shook it four times. Suddenly, a voice spoke to him from the bottle.

“You should quit being such a sourpuss, Professor. Being a Slytherin doesn’t mean you have to be unhappy,” a voice Snape recognized as Sierra’s criticized. He frowned and wrapped a bow around the bottle, locking it in his drawer.

squibby · 01-05-2007, 08:12 PM

Written by: DracosDuchess

“Tugging at Snape’s Heart Strings”

“Elixer of Luv? Why would anyone request me to make that?” Snape growled as he reached for the love, laughter, and wealth and combined them in the cauldron he had sitting in front of him. As he stirred the liquid, the laughter resonated in his dungeon office, as if he were tickling it.

“Shut it, you,” he mumbled as he turned the flame down and allowed the potion to simmer. Every few minutes, he glanced in the cauldron and after a few checks, he noticed that the scarlet red potion was solidifying. And, just as he had expected, a human form suddenly emerged. Surprisingly, Snape found himself oddly attracted to the impeccably-dressed woman standing in front of him, with her sparkling hair and hypnotic eyes. Feeling this instant attraction and pull toward a perfect stranger irritated Snape to no end, and without speaking a word, he stalked out of his office. The woman followed his every move with her eyes, and once Snape had slammed the door, she smiled and let out a sigh.

“One day, Severus, you will be mine,” the woman spoke softly, glancing at the picture of the Potion’s Master that she was clutching in her hand.

squibby · 01-05-2007, 08:13 PM

Written by: SlytherinSissa

"I can't believe we have detention with this git."

"Can't he take a joke?"

"Obviously not."

"Not a fan of Puking Pastilles in his tea."

"Obviously not."

"Silence, Weasleys." A very pale, ashen-faced Snape slowly walked into the dungeon and threw the door shut behind him. The twins stopped their conversation and stared at the obviously ill professor.

"Think he's cured himself?" Fred whispered to George.

"Probably. Him or Madam Pomfrey."

Snape slammed his hand on their table. "What don't you understand about the word silence? Ten points from Gryffindor." Snape continued lumbering to the front of the classroom and flicked his wand at the board. Ingredients and directions appeared. "The Essence of Steph. Make it." Snape said no more, walked over to his desk and sat down.

"Steph?"

"Steph."

"Hope she doesn't have Staph."

"Vile, George."

"Joke, Fred."

"Right. Ingredients. Insanity."

"Insanity?"

"Insanity. The girl's mad, apparantly."

"Put it in then."

"Right."

"Dragons."

"Dragons?"

"Dragons. Explains the insanity."

"Oh look. A vial of little dragons."

"Cute. Add it."

"Right."

"Music."

"Finally something normal."

"Jazz?"

"Soul?"

"Barry Manilow?"

The twins looked at each other. "Yes," they said in unison.

"Added."

"Now what?"

"Boil until the liquid's gone."

"Right."

The twins sat back and watched the boiling ease as the Essence of Steph began to solidify. George pulled out his wand and tapped the top of the potion. The wand bounced off of the solid mass.

"Professor?"

"The liquid's solid."

"What do the directions say?"

They both looked up at the board and both said, "Boil until it isn't liquid anymore."

"How does your mother cope with such genius?"

"By letting us play in grease."

"Modeled after your's, of course."

Snape turned a shade of deep red and stood up, knocking his chair back. "OUT!"

The twins grabbed their bags and ran out of the dungeon, leaving the Essence of Steph behind. Snape walked over to the cauldron and tapped the solid potion with his wand.

"Could you please stop tapping me? I'm getting a migraine."

Snape stood up straight, still looking down at the Essence of Steph, smirked and walked back to his desk.

squibby · 01-05-2007, 08:14 PM

Written by: DracosDuchess

“You have one hour to complete your test. Begin.”

Snape paced along the aisles, watching gleefully as students trembled, scratching lines through their answers. He also studied the sheet of paper in his hands that instructed him on how to prepare the Essence of Olivia. On his desk, he had a cauldron with craziness and mischief. All he needed was a dash of Ron Weasley. Severus shuddered every time he read that. He had to be careful not to add too much of any of the ingredients, because he would turn into Olivia himself if there was any problem. Not wanting to be changed into a girl, Snape walked up behind the redhead and yanked out a strand of his hair.

“Ouch! What’d you do that for? I lost my concentration!” Ron protested.

“Hush, Weasley! It’s not like you expected a decent grade anyhow. Back to work!” Snape snapped. He walked back to the front of the classroom and dropped the hair into the cauldron. Immediately, a girl he suspected to be Olivia emerged and walked to where Ron was still massaging his head.

“You might want to change that answer. It’s not right,” she whispered as she walked by.

squibby · 01-05-2007, 08:15 PM

Written by: DracosDuchess

“Hmm...this is more like it. Finally, an essence with magical ingredients,” Snape mumbled, reading the instructions for the Essence of Kris. He walked to his storage cabinet and pulled out the jar that contained a hellebore plant’s roots. Brushing off the excess dirt from one of the longer roots, he dropped it into the cauldron he was carrying.

Severus next reached for the runespoor eggs that were normally on his top shelf, but he only came up with air.

“Odd. Seems I’ll have to use my secret stash. Lucky for me I have a contact in Knockturn Alley,” he whispered as he opened a trick drawer beneath the bottom shelf. Snape drew out a small blue-green egg, a rare color that increased mental ability tenfold.

“And last is peppermint. That’s simple enough.” Snape pulled out a sprig of peppermint from a bottle, tossed it into the cauldron, and placed it on the fire he already had going. After hours of stirring, Snape was finally satisfied with the goopey appearance the ingredients had taken on. Before he could wash the spoon he’d been using, an attractive gentleman appeared and began admiring his blue-green shirt.

“Nice choice of egg, Professor,” Kris commented.

squibby · 01-05-2007, 08:16 PM

Written by: DracosDuchess

Oliver Wood made his way to the front of the potions classroom and opened the students’ ingredients cabinet. “A punch of shyness? Is that like a pinch?” he wondered. After many attempts, Oliver managed to grab a small amount of the evasive shyness powder. He dropped it into the cauldron he was carrying and read the next ingredient on the list for Essence of Tori, which was niceness. Among the large bottles, Oliver was only able to find a small, dusty bottle of niceness.

“Figures. Snape probably hasn’t replenished his niceness in years,” Oliver said, laughing as he pulled out a few of the orange pellets from the vial and added it to his cauldron. He located the last ingredient, dorkness and added a spoonful of the plaid liquid. Once back at his desk, Oliver stirred the ingredients, and just as Snape was dismissing the class, a gorgeous girl emerged from the cauldron and gave Oliver a shy, crooked smile that melted his heart. He wrapped his arm around Tori and lead her out of the classroom. Suddenly, he felt himself falling and landed flat on his face. He heard loud laughing behind him.

”Great trip, Fred!”

“Great trip, George!"

squibby · 01-05-2007, 08:17 PM

Written by: DracosDuchess

Draco sat at the table in his common room, staring at the instructions for Essence of Ingrid. He had heard Ingrid was a very attractive woman with brains and wit, but one mistake and Ingrid could turn vicious and ugly. Draco decided to take extra caution in preparing the potion.

“As much craziness as I can stand?” Draco started pouring the craziness powder into the cauldron, and it zipped along, hitting the walls of the pot. When it started to scream and smack Draco in the face, he figured he’d added too much and scooped some back into the vial. He next poured in the liquid extracted from puppy eyes, and lastly dripped a small amount of caramel into the cauldron, licking away the drops that had fell on his fingers.

“Stir without touching? How?” Draco mumbled as he read the instructions. Finally, Draco picked up his wand, levitated his wooden spoon, and stirred his wand in the air to control the spoon’s stirring of the potion. Almost instantly, a gorgeous female climbed out of the cauldron and smiled at Draco, who was pleased with the results and wished he didn’t have to turn her into Snape the next day.

squibby · 01-05-2007, 08:17 PM

Written by: DracosDuchess

Snape couldn’t believe the ingredients that these modern-day potions required. He also couldn’t believe that the Minister of Magic himself was requesting that he make him the Psyco Foaly-Breeze potion that he could easily have bought in a store.

“But having it made by the best Potions Master would make my mother so happy, Severus!” Snape shook his head at the Minister’s words. From his store cabinet, he pulled out a vial of a multi-colored liquid and poured twelve spoonfuls of it into his cauldron. Each time he poured the liquid in he heard, “Polly want a cracker!”

“Essence of twelve crazy parrots. Hrmph!” he grumbled. He pulled out a tiny bottle with brown powder and added a pinch of this fermenting powder of the need to ride a horse. Finally, he added the happy-strangeness potion.

“Why bother? This potion’s strange enough,” Snape mumbled as he poured the ingredients into a star-shaped container and placed it in his freezer.

A few hours later, Snape returned and discovered a young girl with a colorful shirt sitting in his office. Severus wrinkled his nose at her odd smell.

“Thanks for brewing me!” the girl exclaimed as she galloped out of Severus’ office.

squibby · 01-05-2007, 08:19 PM

Written by: DracosDuchess

“Potter, Essence of Katy is a simple potion. You and Weasley try not to screw it up. I don’t want to give you two remedial potions lessons!” Snape snapped.

“Yes, Sir,” Harry and Ron grumbled.

“Harry, have any gold? I, um, ran out,” Ron asked quietly. Harry felt a wave of pity for his friend.

“Sure, mate,” Harry replied as he added a dash of gold powder to his cauldron, along with a splash of liquid sarcasm. Ron grabbed the teaspoon of strawberries and was about to eat them when Harry grabbed them back.

“Ron, we need those strawberries for the potion!” Harry explained, laughing at his friend’s insatiable appetite. Ron regrettably tossed the strawberries into the cauldron and Harry lit a fire. The potion didn’t take long to boil, but it took an extremely long time for the potion to cool. As Snape was walking over to give them failing grades, a girl with strawberry-blonde hair appeared.

“Sorry to disappoint you, Professor. I was just making myself look nice. You won’t have to spend your evenings giving remedial potions lessons. You can do what you always do – knit by the fire!” Katy explained. The entire class burst out laughing.

squibby · 01-05-2007, 08:19 PM

Written by: DracosDuchess

“Despite this potion’s name, Severus, the effects are gruesome. Brew it for me now!” Voldemort demanded.

“Yes, Sir,” Snape spoke quietly, hating to continue doing the Dark Lord’s bidding. He had never heard of Mickey’s Marvelous Mixture. No doubt a personal recipe for Voldemort. Snape began mixing the ingredients in front of him.

“Xenophobia? Figures. Voldemort never did like anyone strange or foreign,” Severus mumbled, pouring the dark liquid into the cauldron. He next added the rare ingredient, the will to get a head. Snape frowned as he threw the last ingredient into the pot, a small pair of black bikini briefs. Steam formed and a dementor floated over to Severus’ side. Snape struggled to tie the cauldron around the dementor’s robes.

“Very good. Return in three days,” Voldemort announced.

Just as he had been instructed, Snape returned three days later to find a woman who appeared to be a mix of Bellatrix and Narcissa standing beside Voldemort. Death Eaters surrounded them. When everyone was silent, Voldemort nodded to the woman, who uttered a single, unrecognizable word and six Death Eaters fell to the ground in pain. Voldemort smiled coldly, but Snape stared in horror, wondering what he had created.

Chocolate Frog · 05-22-2007, 04:10 PM

It's a great story so far keep it coming

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