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Biochemkris · 02-16-2004, 02:42 AM

ACT TWO

8 INT. HOGWARTS: NEVILLE AND LUNA’S BEDROOM – MORNING
Neville and Luna wake up and are discussing breakfast when, you guessed it. They break out in song.

"I'll Never Tell"
LUNA:
This is the man that I plan to entangle
Isn't he fine?
My claim to fame was to be really weird
The Quibbler was mine!
But I'm out of the biz
The name I made, I'll trade for his
The only trouble is [pauses, shakes her head]
I'll never tell.
NEVILLE:
She is the one
She's such wonderful fun
Such passion and grace.
Warm in the night when I'm right in her tight- [catches himself]
Embrace! Tight embrace! [hugs her]
I'll never let her go
The love we've known can only grow
There's just one thing that - no.
I'll never tell.
BOTH: 'Cause there's nothing to tell.
LUNA: He snores.
NEVILLE: She wheezes.
LUNA: Say 'housework' and he freezes.
NEVILLE: [opens the fridge] She eats these skeezy cheeses that I can't describe.
LUNA: I talk, he breezes.
NEVILLE: She doesn't know what ‘please’ is.
LUNA: He was cursed by a Death Eater and couldn’t talk right! (The editor had a tough time trying to make this particular line PG because it was just soo funny the way it was)
BOTH: The vibe gets kind of scary
NEVILLE: Like she thinks I'm ordinary
LUNA: Like it's all just temporary
NEVILLE: Like her toes are kind of hairy
BOTH:
But it's all very well
'Cause god knows, I'll never tell!
NEVILLE opens the newspaper. The headline reads: MAYHEM CAUSED. FLOSS CERTAINLY NOT INVOLVED, OFFICIALS SAY.
LUNA:
When things get rough, he
Just hides behind his HARRY! [NEVILLE gives her a look]
Now look, he's getting huffy
'Cause he knows that I know.
NEVILLE
She clings
She's needy
She's also really greedy
She nev-
LUNA: His eyes are beady!
NEVILLE:
This is my verse, hello!
She-
(LUNA begins to dance in flapper style).
LUNA: (spoken) Look at me! I'm dancing crazy!
BOTH: You know...
NEVILLE: You're quite the charmer.
LUNA: My knight in armor.
NEVILLE:
You're the cutest of the Scoobies
With your lips as red as rubies
And your firm yet supple- [catches himself]
Tight embrace!
LUNA: He's swell
NEVILLE: She's sweller
LUNA: He'll always be my feller
NEVILLE: That's why I'll never tell her that I'm petrified.
LUNA:
I've read this tale
There's wedding, then betrayal
I know that come the day I'll want to run and hide.
BOTH:
I lied
I said it's easy
I've tried
But there's these fears I've can't quell
NEVILLE: Is she looking for a pot of gold?
LUNA: Will I look good when I've gotten old?
NEVILLE: Will our lives become too stressful if I'm never that successful?
LUNA: When I get so worn and wrinkly that I look like David Brinkley?
NEVILLE: Am I crazy?
LUNA: Am I dreamin'?
NEVILLE: Am I marrying a demon?
BOTH:
We could really raise the beam in making marriage a hell!
So, thank god, I'll never tell!
I swear that I'll never tell!
NEVILLE: My lips are sealed
LUNA: I take the Fifth
NEVILLE:
Nothing to see
Move it along
BOTH:
I'll never
Tell!
(end

)

9 EXT. ANOTHER RANDOM STREET – DAY
Neville and Luna are complaining to Dumbledore about their retro-pastiche number that would never become a breakaway pop hit. They revealed their fears about getting married to one another and now want the once fun singing and dancing their hearts out to stop. They are talking and while heading back to Grimmauld Place, they walk past the editor, singing to a muggle “please-man”.

DUMBLEDORE: But I have learned something disturbing… (becomes inaudible as we hear Kristi’s lament)

KRISTI:
I’ve been having a bad, bad, day
Come on, won’t you put that pad away
I'm asking you please no
It isn't right, it isn't fair
There was no parking anywhere
I think that hydrant wasn't there
Why can't you let it go?
I think I've paid more than my share...
I’m just a poor girl, don’t you care…
Hey, I’m not wearing underwear…
(end

)

NEVILLE: Somebody set people on fire? That’s nuts!

LUNA: I don’t know. One more verse of our little dittie and I woulda been looking for the gas can…

DUMBLEDORE: Harry is looking for leads in the local ghost haunts… at least in theory, he is. He doesn’t seem to…

NEVILLE: He’s easing back in. We brought him back from an untold hell dimension, remember? Ergo, weirdness. The important thing is that you’re there for him.

DUMBLEDORE: (quietly confiding in NEVILLE) I’m helping him as much as I can, but…

02-16-2004, 02:42 AM	#16 (permalink)
Biochemkris Technical Assistance Tebo Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: The Bowels of SS Posts: 25,873	Technically technical all the time Bookaholic ACT TWO 8 INT. HOGWARTS: NEVILLE AND LUNA’S BEDROOM – MORNING Neville and Luna wake up and are discussing breakfast when, you guessed it. They break out in song. "I'll Never Tell" LUNA: This is the man that I plan to entangle Isn't he fine? My claim to fame was to be really weird The Quibbler was mine! But I'm out of the biz The name I made, I'll trade for his The only trouble is [pauses, shakes her head] I'll never tell. NEVILLE: She is the one She's such wonderful fun Such passion and grace. Warm in the night when I'm right in her tight- [catches himself] Embrace! Tight embrace! [hugs her] I'll never let her go The love we've known can only grow There's just one thing that - no. I'll never tell. BOTH: 'Cause there's nothing to tell. LUNA: He snores. NEVILLE: She wheezes. LUNA: Say 'housework' and he freezes. NEVILLE: [opens the fridge] She eats these skeezy cheeses that I can't describe. LUNA: I talk, he breezes. NEVILLE: She doesn't know what ‘please’ is. LUNA: He was cursed by a Death Eater and couldn’t talk right! (The editor had a tough time trying to make this particular line PG because it was just soo funny the way it was) BOTH: The vibe gets kind of scary NEVILLE: Like she thinks I'm ordinary LUNA: Like it's all just temporary NEVILLE: Like her toes are kind of hairy BOTH: But it's all very well 'Cause god knows, I'll never tell! NEVILLE opens the newspaper. The headline reads: MAYHEM CAUSED. FLOSS CERTAINLY NOT INVOLVED, OFFICIALS SAY. LUNA: When things get rough, he Just hides behind his HARRY! [NEVILLE gives her a look] Now look, he's getting huffy 'Cause he knows that I know. NEVILLE She clings She's needy She's also really greedy She nev- LUNA: His eyes are beady! NEVILLE: This is my verse, hello! She- (LUNA begins to dance in flapper style). LUNA: (spoken) Look at me! I'm dancing crazy! BOTH: You know... NEVILLE: You're quite the charmer. LUNA: My knight in armor. NEVILLE: You're the cutest of the Scoobies With your lips as red as rubies And your firm yet supple- [catches himself] Tight embrace! LUNA: He's swell NEVILLE: She's sweller LUNA: He'll always be my feller NEVILLE: That's why I'll never tell her that I'm petrified. LUNA: I've read this tale There's wedding, then betrayal I know that come the day I'll want to run and hide. BOTH: I lied I said it's easy I've tried But there's these fears I've can't quell NEVILLE: Is she looking for a pot of gold? LUNA: Will I look good when I've gotten old? NEVILLE: Will our lives become too stressful if I'm never that successful? LUNA: When I get so worn and wrinkly that I look like David Brinkley? NEVILLE: Am I crazy? LUNA: Am I dreamin'? NEVILLE: Am I marrying a demon? BOTH: We could really raise the beam in making marriage a hell! So, thank god, I'll never tell! I swear that I'll never tell! NEVILLE: My lips are sealed LUNA: I take the Fifth NEVILLE: Nothing to see Move it along BOTH: I'll never Tell! (end ) 9 EXT. ANOTHER RANDOM STREET – DAY Neville and Luna are complaining to Dumbledore about their retro-pastiche number that would never become a breakaway pop hit. They revealed their fears about getting married to one another and now want the once fun singing and dancing their hearts out to stop. They are talking and while heading back to Grimmauld Place, they walk past the editor, singing to a muggle “please-man”. DUMBLEDORE: But I have learned something disturbing… (becomes inaudible as we hear Kristi’s lament) KRISTI: I’ve been having a bad, bad, day Come on, won’t you put that pad away I'm asking you please no It isn't right, it isn't fair There was no parking anywhere I think that hydrant wasn't there Why can't you let it go? I think I've paid more than my share... I’m just a poor girl, don’t you care… Hey, I’m not wearing underwear… (end ) NEVILLE: Somebody set people on fire? That’s nuts! LUNA: I don’t know. One more verse of our little dittie and I woulda been looking for the gas can… DUMBLEDORE: Harry is looking for leads in the local ghost haunts… at least in theory, he is. He doesn’t seem to… NEVILLE: He’s easing back in. We brought him back from an untold hell dimension, remember? Ergo, weirdness. The important thing is that you’re there for him. DUMBLEDORE: (quietly confiding in NEVILLE) I’m helping him as much as I can, but… __________________ Blast from the past!