Thread: Balcony
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Old 09-21-2021, 03:40 AM   #14 (permalink)
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SPOILER!!: Ash
Quote:
Originally Posted by astrocat View Post
Ash smiled despite herself for a brief moment, caught off guard by Kinsay's words. Then she cleared her throat. "If I get sick, I'll be fine. I can take care of myself." You won't even know I caught a cold. She doubted those words would be reassuring if said aloud. And really, she wanted to reassure Kinsay. She didn't like seeing her upset, for reasons that she didn't really understand. Was it because she saw a bit of herself in Kinsay, or was it because Kinsay was kind of adorable when she wasn't so upset? Who even knew? Not Ash.

"Right now? I'm not feeling sad anymore. That's what this balcony is here for. I don't really know what I am feeling though. It's kind of peaceful out here." Not even Kinsay could make her feel very sad when she was staring at the stars. That was another thing that she chose to not say.

"I don't know. Both? You don't have to answer if you don't want to..." She probably wouldn't answer. Because she was Kinsay, and she didn't want to talk to Ash, etc. etc. Yeah. Whatever. At least she asked, right? That was all she could do. She hated that. She hated feeling helpless. She hated knowing that Kinsay always felt bad because of her, and she couldn't do anything about it because she was a muggleborn and she'd never be Cambridge's friend. She hated all of it.

"But you shouldn't have to."

Kins sighed quietly, as she let her head fall back. Maybe she just needed to fully splay out on the balcony and take in the starry night. The stars might know what to do about all this Matty stuff. In any case, it was maybe worth a try because Kins had no workable ideas at the moment. Except for maybe asking him about it, but the prospect of bringing it up herself was a little scary. So. Um.

She was only half-listening to Ash, but not in an obvious way. Just in the way that she was quiet and her mind was wondering, even as the Ravenclaw explained her own feelings. Kins could relate to the not really knowing how she felt bit. Kiz was that way a lot. All the feelings sort of turned into soup all the time. A weird feelings soup. It made it hard to talk about, which is why she usually opted not to. And for what it was worth? Even though Ash's existential dread made Kins all sorts of uncomfortable all the time, maybe it was good that she was talking about it at least. Kiz couldn't even do that. "Yeah, I guess so." Peaceful out here, that is.

"I don't usually come here when I'm sad," she answered slowly after having stayed quiet for a little bit. She didn't really want to answer either of the questions, but not answering didn't feel right either. The balcony was nice, but it was a thinking spot. Not a sad spot. The last stall in the girl's loo was a sad spot. And under Phoebe's covers was a sad spot. And sometimes the boathouse was a sad spot. But not the balcony.

After another long pause she found herself shrugging deeply. "And, well, I guess so. But a lot of things are my fault usually so." So it was warranted to blame herself. Kizzy ideas usually backfired.

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