| Puffskein
Join Date: Jul 2020 Location: New York City
Posts: 2,127
Hogwarts RPG Name:
Brandon Fox
Hufflepuff Fourth Year
Hogwarts RPG Name:
Phoebe Calypso [s]Dupont[/s]
Slytherin Second Year |  Which came first, the phoenix or the flame?
SPOILER!!: Amir the best cat and also Professor Kazmi Quote:
Originally Posted by Felixir 
Kamran's point still stood, and as he'd have said much the same thing to Fox, he chose not to reiterate it. She'd heard him once already, there was no point repeating himself over and over with every change of wording; it would be an insult to her intelligence, and a waste of both their time.
So he stayed quiet, and let her talk, until there was a question to answer. "If you're not keen on the idea of voicing them to someone, you could write them down. A little cliche, but no less effective for it. Getting everything out onto the page can be a good outlet, and you might find you're less likely to explode with truth when you're not ready to do so. It also helps with sorting through your thoughts, and you might surprise yourself with how you start to make sense of things. I've known students to do this in the past, some kept private journals, some shared them, others destroyed the pages when they were done." All had different reasons for what they wrote and then what they chose to do with those words once they'd got them out, but it was a very simple, yet very effective exercise for many people. "And, if writing it down is still a little daunting, I hear you're an artist. Art works just as well. Better, for some."
Kamran took that statement just as calmly. "Perhaps. But then you risk developing a habit of running from your problems." Though, maybe the girl was better off staying home, like some other students had apparently done, maybe she wasn't in the right frame of mind to be back here. Kamran didn't know, he had only fragments of information. Even if he knew every detail, that still wasn't remotely his call to make, but perhaps someone ought to make it, depending on how the term progressed. Kamran let the silence sit, and then, "Seems he likes you as well." The purring. He could hear it loud and clear.
Oh. "Like one of those journals muggles have where they write what they think and then they burn it?" A slight smile appeared on Ash's face, when really it had no reason to be there. Fire... noooo. Stop. Maybe she would be better off with... hmmm. "I like the idea. I like fire. Actually, that probably means I shouldn't..." she trailed off. How exactly was she supposed to say This is a terrible idea considering my track record... But still... fire. "Nevermind." She was going to make a journal, and then she was going to watch it burn and pretend like she hadn't dreamed of burning anything else until only Ashes remained. Good plan. Thanks professor, for the idea.
Art though... how did he know that if he hadn't seen? Sure ,she was obviously an artist if anyone had ever seen her paint, but Kazmi never said that he saw. Ash looked up in surprise, her hand slipping to her extension charmed pocket to make sure all her notebooks were still there. They were, of course, and Ash didn't see how anyone could know that she carried them around everywhere she went, so it made sense... but still. Hmmm. I hear. Not I know or I've seen. An interesting statement. Hear. From who? And why? And where and when and what? How? She opened her mouth to ask a question. Maybe the question was how do you know that, or even can I paint you. Nobody would ever know, because Ash let the moment slip away. She didn't ask the questions.
She moved on for the moment.
Personally, Ash thought that running away was a wimp move, and also dumb. It would be Letting The Bad Guys Win. But maybe she was the wrong one. Maybe sometimes there was nothing left to do but run away... maybe. But Ash was never going to admit it when she had hit that moment, not even to herself. Because retreating was for people who were defeated. Demoralized, disappointed and dejected were not the same as defeated. That's why they were separate words, see? Logic.
"I guess." Ash mostly agreed. But she thought it was funny that people expected her to never give up, but it was perfectly okay for them to give up and leave her to cover their retreat. We love you Ash, and we want you to stay, said the very same people who left her the second a problem started. We understand you, said the people who thought she was too angry. We believe in you, said the people who had given up on her a long time ago. There were exceptions, of course. Ten or twenty people who truly believed in her, even when she messed up constantly. Kazmi wasn't on it yet, because they didn't know each other. But still, it was probably a good thing that it was professor Kazmi who was telling her this, and not Healer Poppy. Or some other person she resented. He hadn't had the opportunity to betray her yet. Yet.
Anyway, professor Kazmi's cat was a much better thing to think about that loyalty an sacrifice and betrayal. Ash was sure that Amir wouldn't be mean to her. "I think he likes me too. What are the chances." It wasn't a question. It was an observation. Amir hadn't immediately ran away from her. Clearly, he was either stupid or one of the kindest living things she had ever met. Maybe both. Maybe kindness was stupid sometimes. But Ash was inclined to believe that Amir was just really nice, because he was a cat and she would never think of a cat as dumb. Cats weren't dumb. Cats were her favorite animal, and they were soft. Cats were super great. And they didn't feel obligated to go along with what other people wanted. Cats. Ash sometimes thought that she was like a cat. But people liked cats, and they didn't like her. |