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Felixir · 06-08-2021, 05:58 PM

SPOILER!!: Ash

Quote:

Originally Posted by astrocat

"I'm not mad at Gemma. Just the government, and the universe, and certain specific people who aren't Gemma." And she wasn't even lying. On the scale of how mad Ash was at people, Gemma was like, a three. Cambridge was a seven on the scale of anger. Healer Poppy was an eight on the scale of anger. Ash... didn't really want to go past that. Actually, she really didn't. Slight correction in the order.

"I can see how that exploding stuff would happen." Yeah, Ash did a lot of rage outbursts. Mostly in secret. Mostly internally. Most of that rage was taken out on stuffed animals that she stitched back together by hand. Or game controllers she kept needing to replace. Mirrors that needed to be swept up. But some of it got directed at people. She couldn't help it. "I'm not afraid of saying something I don't mean. I'm scared of saying something that I really do mean." Because if you didn't mean what you said, you could just apologize and take it back. If you meant every word you said, where did you go from there?

"I would like to avoid saying things that I agree with too much to take back and also things that other people don't get to know. But how do you have those thoughts and not say them?" Because obviously, she couldn't go around screaming 'what if I never produce a patronus'. She couldn't scream a lot of other things. She couldn't scream in general. Obviously. People would use it against her. They'd never understand. But she couldn't just... stop those thoughts. Had he ever tried to cover a faucet with his hand and had the water spray everywhere? It was like that. Healer Poppy was trying to cover a faucet with her hand right now. And Ash's thoughts were like the water.

She looked at the cat rubbing at her ankles. She felt the crystals in her bracelets, the gifts from Serena. Both there to calm her down. She did not look up. "This could be avoided if I just didn't come back." The therapy sessions, she meant. But also, the wizarding world. If she just held on until the winter holidays, returned to Australia for break, and then conveniently missed the returning train... she'd be free. Her gaze remained pointed at the floor, her eyes wandering from cat, to bracelets, to phoenix tattoo, to burns, to the other burns, and back to the tattoo. She still didn't look up. She looked at the cat again. Cute cat. Fuzzy cat. Soft cat. Ash remained almost motionless, like she was dead or something. But really, she was just silently distracting herself with Professor Kazmi's cat. Kitty cat. Nice cat. Ash had half a mind to purr at the cat... there was a cat. A fuzzy and soft kitty cat... pet the cat... cats. So soft... where were they again? Ash looked up from the cat, momentarily distracted. Then her eyes cleared. She remembered perfectly, as usual. Then she went back to looking at the cat. She would much rather look at Amir the cat. There was a cat... the cat was fluffy... just, cats. There was a cat. Look, right there. A cat.

"I like Amir." The cat. There was a cat. Named Amir. And that was the single most important thing happening in this discussion.

Kamran's point still stood, and as he'd have said much the same thing to Fox, he chose not to reiterate it. She'd heard him once already, there was no point repeating himself over and over with every change of wording; it would be an insult to her intelligence, and a waste of both their time.

So he stayed quiet, and let her talk, until there was a question to answer. "If you're not keen on the idea of voicing them to someone, you could write them down. A little cliche, but no less effective for it. Getting everything out onto the page can be a good outlet, and you might find you're less likely to explode with truth when you're not ready to do so. It also helps with sorting through your thoughts, and you might surprise yourself with how you start to make sense of things. I've known students to do this in the past, some kept private journals, some shared them, others destroyed the pages when they were done." All had different reasons for what they wrote and then what they chose to do with those words once they'd got them out, but it was a very simple, yet very effective exercise for many people. "And, if writing it down is still a little daunting, I hear you're an artist. Art works just as well. Better, for some."

Kamran took that statement just as calmly. "Perhaps. But then you risk developing a habit of running from your problems." Though, maybe the girl was better off staying home, like some other students had apparently done, maybe she wasn't in the right frame of mind to be back here. Kamran didn't know, he had only fragments of information. Even if he knew every detail, that still wasn't remotely his call to make, but perhaps someone ought to make it, depending on how the term progressed. Kamran let the silence sit, and then, "Seems he likes you as well." The purring. He could hear it loud and clear.

SPOILER!!: Mamie

Kamran was aware of what had happened last term, in the general sense as well as in the specific context of flying; he'd been informed very early on. But Turov had said only that she'd missed the class, leaving it up to speculation whether it was so straightforward, or if she'd been present but prevented from participating. Kamran tried to keep track of who the muggle-born students were - particularly the ones present last term - but while he was still working on names and faces, this was easier said than done, especially when it was not a natural detail for him to try and remember.

Regardless, he had a feeling he knew what Turov was getting at, but she'd neglected to say it outright for a reason. In the context of this conversation, he took what she said at face value and proceeded with that. He did not linger on it.

"Tuesday should be fine," Kamran said, swivelling the chair slightly to look over a small schedule affixed to his wall. He knew it by heart, but sometimes new appointments or meetings magicked themselves in, so it was always good to check. "Tuesday afternoon," he confirmed, and looked back. "That's good to hear. What position are you focusing on?"

06-08-2021, 05:58 PM	#16 (permalink)
Felixir Book Club Mod Alley Proprietor MO & DoM Banshee Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Posts: 50,103 Hogwarts RPG Name: Charlie Upstead Gryffindor Third Year Hogwarts RPG Name: Aurelio Kaiser Slytherin First Year Ministry RPG Name: Daxton Prince Mysteries Ministry RPG Name: Nikolai Kaiser Minister's Office Diagon Alley Employee: Ezekiel Ransom-Kruus Ollivanders x12 x12	Lovely™ \| Captain Hurted \| Ariana's Bane \| Resident Antagonist \| Unparalleled Delight SPOILER!!: Ash Quote: Originally Posted by astrocat "I'm not mad at Gemma. Just the government, and the universe, and certain specific people who aren't Gemma." And she wasn't even lying. On the scale of how mad Ash was at people, Gemma was like, a three. Cambridge was a seven on the scale of anger. Healer Poppy was an eight on the scale of anger. Ash... didn't really want to go past that. Actually, she really didn't. Slight correction in the order. "I can see how that exploding stuff would happen." Yeah, Ash did a lot of rage outbursts. Mostly in secret. Mostly internally. Most of that rage was taken out on stuffed animals that she stitched back together by hand. Or game controllers she kept needing to replace. Mirrors that needed to be swept up. But some of it got directed at people. She couldn't help it. "I'm not afraid of saying something I don't mean. I'm scared of saying something that I really do mean." Because if you didn't mean what you said, you could just apologize and take it back. If you meant every word you said, where did you go from there? *"I would* like to avoid saying things that I agree with too much to take back and also things that other people don't get to know. But how do you have those thoughts and not say them?" Because obviously, she couldn't go around screaming 'what if I never produce a patronus'. She couldn't scream a lot of other things. She couldn't scream in general. Obviously. People would use it against her. They'd never understand. But she couldn't just... stop those thoughts. Had he ever tried to cover a faucet with his hand and had the water spray everywhere? It was like that. Healer Poppy was trying to cover a faucet with her hand right now. And Ash's thoughts were like the water. She looked at the cat rubbing at her ankles. She felt the crystals in her bracelets, the gifts from Serena. Both there to calm her down. She did not look up. "This could be avoided if I just didn't come back." The therapy sessions, she meant. But also, the wizarding world. If she just held on until the winter holidays, returned to Australia for break, and then conveniently missed the returning train... she'd be free. Her gaze remained pointed at the floor, her eyes wandering from cat, to bracelets, to phoenix tattoo, to burns, to the other burns, and back to the tattoo. She still didn't look up. She looked at the cat again. Cute cat. Fuzzy cat. Soft cat. Ash remained almost motionless, like she was dead or something. But really, she was just silently distracting herself with Professor Kazmi's cat. Kitty cat. Nice cat. Ash had half a mind to purr at the cat... there was a cat. A fuzzy and soft kitty cat... pet the cat... cats. So soft... where were they again? Ash looked up from the cat, momentarily distracted. Then her eyes cleared. She remembered perfectly, as usual. Then she went back to looking at the cat. She would much rather look at Amir the cat. There was a cat... the cat was fluffy... just, cats. There was a cat. Look, right there. A cat. "I like Amir." The cat. There was a cat. Named Amir. And that was the single most important thing happening in this discussion. Kamran's point still stood, and as he'd have said much the same thing to Fox, he chose not to reiterate it. She'd heard him once already, there was no point repeating himself over and over with every change of wording; it would be an insult to her intelligence, and a waste of both their time. So he stayed quiet, and let her talk, until there was a question to answer. "If you're not keen on the idea of voicing them to someone, you could write them down. A little cliche, but no less effective for it. Getting everything out onto the page can be a good outlet, and you might find you're less likely to explode with truth when you're not ready to do so. It also helps with sorting through your thoughts, and you might surprise yourself with how you start to make sense of things. I've known students to do this in the past, some kept private journals, some shared them, others destroyed the pages when they were done." All had different reasons for what they wrote and then what they chose to do with those words once they'd got them out, but it was a very simple, yet very effective exercise for many people. "And, if writing it down is still a little daunting, I hear you're an artist. Art works just as well. Better, for some." Kamran took that statement just as calmly. "Perhaps. But then you risk developing a habit of running from your problems." Though, maybe the girl was better off staying home, like some other students had apparently done, maybe she wasn't in the right frame of mind to be back here. Kamran didn't know, he had only fragments of information. Even if he knew every detail, that still wasn't remotely his call to make, but perhaps someone ought to make it, depending on how the term progressed. Kamran let the silence sit, and then, "Seems he likes you as well." The purring. He could hear it loud and clear. SPOILER!!*: Mamie* Quote: Originally Posted by Waddles It might be useful for Kazmi to know that all the Muggleborns had been prevented from actually flying during flying class for several months the previous year. Margaret wasn't about to tell him all about it, though. She was embarrassed. There were vital Quidditch skills she still hadn't learned, because of reasons COMPLETELY OUTSIDE HER CONTROL. But hopefully, hopefully, with Kazmi's help, she could learn them and then be amazing at her U-17 tryout, and then be a U-17 player, and then a professional Quidditch player, and then never have to remember History of Magic ever again. She brightened as he agreed to help her with broom surfing, and she already had a time in mind. "Tuesday?" Tuesdays had been the day she flew with Aguilar. Then again, she intended to fly every day this term, because she had her own broom, and it was going to be amazing. Running before class, flying after class. ~~Who needed to do homework?~~ "Yes! I want to play Quidditch, I've gotten a lot better!" She thought she was very good, in fact, but she was not about to brag about that. Not when she could be wrong. Kamran was aware of what had happened last term, in the general sense as well as in the specific context of flying; he'd been informed very early on. But Turov had said only that she'd missed the class, leaving it up to speculation whether it was so straightforward, or if she'd been present but prevented from participating. Kamran tried to keep track of who the muggle-born students were - particularly the ones present last term - but while he was still working on names and faces, this was easier said than done, especially when it was not a natural detail for him to try and remember. Regardless, he had a feeling he knew what Turov was getting at, but she'd neglected to say it outright for a reason. In the context of this conversation, he took what she said at face value and proceeded with that. He did not linger on it. "Tuesday should be fine," Kamran said, swivelling the chair slightly to look over a small schedule affixed to his wall. He knew it by heart, but sometimes new appointments or meetings magicked themselves in, so it was always good to check. "Tuesday afternoon," he confirmed, and looked back. "That's good to hear. What position are you focusing on?" __________________ Days of Potter 2023:___________________________ Which Bertie Botts Flavour Are You? You are Chocolate!